I Hate Him
by trina4real
Summary: So much has changed in three years...or has it? The one where Cartman may actually be the good guy...for once, Stan is Park County High's 'Golden Boy', Kyle is heartless and things just didn't turn out the way they all had hoped, leaving everyone to find and pick up the missing pieces. But the biggest question is: What made the two super best friends turn against each other?
1. I Hate Him

**Prologue**

I hate him.

* * *

I'm sitting in my last period today and everybody is sitting on the edge of their seats just waiting impatiently for this stupid bell to ring. The reason everybody so excited and wanting class to end so badly that they can't even wait sixty seconds is because there's going to be a fight exactly after school lets out. Everyone has been talking about this fight since it was declared just before first period ended. All underclassmen and upperclassmen and even some of the teachers and staff have been talking about what they believe is going to be the best fight this school's ever seen. And why wouldn't it be? People have been waiting for this to happen since freshmen year.

Even new students that arrived here yesterday are all riled up because everybody knows that the student council president whose also head of the debate club, the best track runner, star basketball player and one of the smartest people in South Park and his opponent/ arch nemesis a.k.a the Park High School's star quarterback, baseball and swimming team captain hate each others guts and everyone knows why… or think they know why because of the big scene these two boys made freshmen year.

That's when the arguments, harsh looks, shoves and pranks began. Since then everyone knows to never even speak of the others name when they are around of either of them. They hate each other so much that when they are in the same _room_ they won't even acknowledge the other's presence. But…If anyone would just really think about this situation and I mean _really_ think. They'll see that both boys are just plain… _idiots_.

_Ring! _Great, the bell just rang and everyone is rushing out of class (teachers included). While every one is running around screaming and yelling like chickens with their heads cut off I take my time to put my stuff in my messenger bag and just walk out my last class completely calm…

_Oh_, and if you're wondering who _I_ am, I'm just one of the idiots that are about to fight and probably get arrested if things get too… _messy_ outside. My name is Kyle Broflovski and the asshole I'm up against is Stan Marsh.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_** Just letting everyone know that I've edited majority of all chapters, so if you want to check out those chapters again you can and it would be greatly appreciated. Also if you find any errors let me know.**

**Thank you all so much for reading, Enjoy!**


	2. I Absolutely Hate Him

I absolutely hate him.

* * *

_**Stan M**_

I'm in my last period of the day surrounded by everyone. Everyone asking me about the fight and all types of shit they think I should do. The only person I'm barely listening to is Craig. He's trying to give me some 'tips' on fighting.

Its not like I don't know how to fight I've beat plenty ass before. Pun intended, but Craig… Craig is a fucking beast when he's pissed off. He's been arrested every year since the 8th grade; have to see the counselor Mr. Mackey every four days and is constantly in the principle's office almost everyday. It's like he blacks the fuck out when he's angry. When he's not blacked out he's one of the chillest people you could meet. I don't know how he does that shit.

Every since the 7th grade my group combined with Craig's group of friends and we've been best friends every since. When the Kyle and I situation blew up our group of friends already knew before everybody else did so it came to no surprise when we both just stop talking to each other. Our friends didn't choose sides just words; they didn't dare speak of Kyle when they hung out with me and vice versa.

The bell rings and I automatically stand up and dash for the door with a massive crowd behind me. I faintly hear Clyde shouting something at someone and someone shouting back, but I ignore it; too pumped up right now.

* * *

When I reach the back of the school I automatically strip the shirt I'm wearing and showing the white tank top I have on underneath. There's already a crowd circling around. I look at the crowd and see some of the dumb-ass teachers there. When I hear the roar of the crowd grow louder I look to see that the dick I'm supposed to be fighting just showed up dropping his bag on the ground. He walks forward and I'm already sizing him up. He looks pissed and I'm glad, I grin. This is what every one's been waiting for.

Cartman steps in the middle and with a big smile on his face. Cartman's lost some weight the summer before freshmen year and has surprisingly been keeping it stable. He's just more muscular now, but still eats like the sack of shit he's always been. Cartman is still the same person he's always been, but I know somethings changed with him.

"Okay, assholes this is how it's going to go. There are no rules and whoever beats the other into a bloody pulp first wins," Cartman steps back.

"Let's just get this over with," Kyle says annoyed.

"Don't worry this shit would be over before you can even think to land a hit."

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

Kyle strikes out so fast punching me hard in the face leaving me stunned for a second before I punch Kyle back in the stomach almost knocking the wind out of him. We both go like this for at least 15 minutes both beaten, but not standing down. The crowd is still riled up and I know this is going to go on forever until the cops get here.

I have never been arrested before, but from what Craig, Kenny, Cartman, Christophe and Damien tells me it is not pleasant. I know Kyle's never even thought about going to jail. If Kyle ever got arrested Shelia would be absolutely livid. Reminds of Kyle's slip up in 8th grade where after dinner one night Ike and Kyle got into a huge argument about something I remember asking Kyle about (but as usual then Kyle tried to write it off being because Ike was just being a dick head). And Kyle being the hot headed Jew he is, got so mad that he ran into his room and punched the wall so hard his fist made a hole through the wall that you could actually see through. The wall was fixed up, but Kyle ended up with a broken hand and having to go to anger management counseling. Even then Shelia acted as if Kyle had committed the worst act ever.

Fuck it, this is all Kyle's fault anyway, and just like he was back then he's still such an asshole. Everything is Kyle's fucking fault. When Kyle's about to strike out at my face again, I dodge only to realize someone stopped Kyle's fist. Turning to see who it was and who everyone was staring at I'm not really surprised at who it is. Kenny.


	3. Idiots

Idiots

* * *

_**Kenny M**_

This is so fucking ridiculous. I'm leaning against the wall on the left side of school smoking a cigarette and I pull out my new I-phone to check the time. Yes, people I can afford an I-phone.

When I was in the 6th grade my dad left me, my mom, brother and sister in South Park to fend for ourselves. My mom was so hysterical and cried non-stop for the first two weeks. During that time both my siblings and I actually spent time comforting and as crazy as it sounds reconnecting with our mom. I mean we were all in the same position. A couple weeks later I came home and saw Karen sitting on our door step and couldn't figure out why my mom wasn't home to unlock the door. Me being the genius I am and a pro at picking locks opened the door. I helped Karen with her homework and made anything I could find for dinner while I waited with my two siblings for mom to return.

Late that night when my mom returned she looked completely different from the woman who was screaming and crying and almost relapsed two weeks ago. She had on a formal skirt, blazer and dress shirt that I didn't even know she owned and a bright smile on her face. She told us that she had gone for a job interview and had gotten the job. I couldn't believe she had actually gotten and job and not a drug dealing job, but a real J-O-B.

Soon she was bringing home more groceries and clothes for us and we eventually moved out the ram shack we called a home, into a bigger place. Now I live close to Stan, Cartman and Kyle, but my house is actually closer to Butters.

At the end of my 8th grade year my dad returned. I saw him as I got off the school bus and couldn't believe it was him. He didn't look like the same dad that sold meth and tried multiple times to fight me and Kevin while he was either drunk or high. I brought him inside the house because no one was home yet and I asked why he came back to South Park and he told me he left because he wanted to get clean and come back a new man.

He told me about what he did after he was released from rehab. He's actually top ranking in the business he works at and transferred to South Park about a week ago. I couldn't believe my fucking ears; I just sat there and drank my can of sprite as he talked, not saying a word. When he was done talking I didn't know how to feel. I was happy that he had gotten himself together, but I was still fucking pissed that he left in the first place.

When my mom came home with Karen a minutes later, saving me from answering him when he asked 'how I've been' she looked shocked. Not wanting to stick around because I could already see where this shit was going I had put on my shoes and took Karen to one of her friend's house and met up with Kyle, Stan and Cartman.

That night when I came home with Karen my mom told me that her and my dad agreed that he not stay in the house, but that they are going to try to work things out. That night I was still trying to grasp how I felt and all that came to me was rage. Now my parents are still trying to work things out, but ever since then I've kept my distance from my dad.

* * *

I look at my phone and throw out the cigarette I smoked down to the bud just as the bell rings. I was skipping my last class, I fucking hate that stupid ass man Mr. Adler the only reason I'm taking this class is because I promised the fat ass and practically the whole class I would.

Mr. Adler is fucking boring (who the fuck hired him to teach here anyways) and I always liven up the classes I'm in. Whether I'm pulling a prank on one of the dumb ass teachers, or simply doing something so stupidly funny. I'm not the only one that gets yelled at or sent out of class its Cartman too.

He's always pulling some stupid scheme, ragging on everyone and saying smart ass comments, but hey, what else is new. He's also high on the list of people that gets sent to the principle's office everyday. The crazy thing is that he's one of the smartest students at Park County High School.

The other smartest kids are Kyle- because if he makes anything less than an –A Shelia will actually nag him to death, Wendy-She's just a fucking high achiever, Butters- Because if he isn't one of the top students he might not ever see outside again and Token- he just likes to do work and still has time to do a whole lot of other shit.

As soon as I step into the hallway I'm getting shoved and pushed around so I move over towards the lockers and I spot Clyde.

"Clyde! What the hell dude! You were supposed to stop him!"

"What? Hey, man I don't remember!" Clyde says sheepishly.

"What do you mean you don't remember I talked to you about it all last night and this morning?!"

Yeah, I kinda knew this fight was going to happen. I was smoking weed with Damien yesterday night (his dad let him buy this cool loft apartment, not too far from South Park) and he said the weirdest shit...

He had just taken a hit from the joint and passed it to me when he said, "Kenneth your attempts to save the day are futile, don't you see?"

Pausing before taking a hit I replied, "Dude what the fuck are you talking about?" Now he looked at me like I was stupid then grinned, "I know you know that it was about time this happened. Although, you can still attempt to save the day."

Now Damien was scaring the shit out me but, instead of asking what he's talking about again I just ask, "When?"

"Tomorrow. Be prepared Kenneth, this is what every one's been waiting for."

"Okay… but anyway dude as I was saying before all of this…" I continued on after taking another hit.

That night when I was walking home and texting I kept thinking about what he said and it was freaking me out, so while I was texting Clyde I asked him, 'Dude, what do u think every1's waiting 2 happen? Like dis shit is crazy.'

We were talking about Stan and Kyle and what happened that day during lunch. All throughout lunch everyone was tense and watching their every move like something might happen.

'Dude idk may b their waitin for them both 2 fight.'

I thought about what Clyde said while replying back to Bebe about some shit she wanted to do tomorrow after school, then replied to Clyde saying 'I was jus over Damien's and he was talking about somethin happening 2morow… If they get n a fight I want u 2 stop 1 of them til I get there Clyde.'

'Alright dude I will. Butt if dey get n a fight I'mma gonna laugh me ass off.'

'Shit' I thought Clyde must be drunk. 'Just remember dude. Good nite' I text while making a mental note to remind Clyde in the morning.

'I got u, good nite ken'

That morning I reminded Clyde again hoping he'd remember or understand. He said he did, but looked a little irritated because of his hangover. You're probably asking why I told Clyde and not anyone else. I told Clyde because even though he has a big mouth and when he's not drunk or high if you tell him anything serious or anything he believes is serious he would understand and help. Even though he acts like an asshole jock that only cares about partying and girls he's actually like a sweet puppy (not that he doesn't like partying and girls because he's always the first person wasted or making out with some random chick.) But as it turns out he didn't.

* * *

The doors to the back of the school push open and I'm just standing there until everyone exits, trying to think of a way to stop this. When every one's gone I can hear the crowd's cheer outside. This shit all started this morning during our homeroom class. Mr. Garrison's class, how and why they got some of the teachers from our elementary school to transfer here I don't have a clue. All the trouble here is double as much, on crack than the trouble in elementary.

Anyway, we were all in Mr. Garrison's class and as usual while he was teaching almost everyone was _not_ listening.

I was sitting next to Kyle and we were talking about Bebe and mid sentence Kyle was interrupted.

"…She is such a fucking tease Ken, you might as well just fuck and—"

"Hey, Kyle is it true you cry yourself to sleep because you're a little bitch?"

Kyle being the person he is, (well after anger management counseling) didn't automatically sock this dude in the face, but asked calmly, "Where did you hear that from?"

"Who else? That guy over there," The boy pointed at Stan. "Yeah, he is totally railing on you over there, talking about how much of a bitch boy you are."

"Dude just leave—" Token started, but was cutoff by laughing. Laughing that came from where Stan was sitting. People were sitting around laughing as if he was telling some sort of joke.

"See dude, they're laughing at you," The guy says smugly.

I thought Kyle was going to finish what Token was going to say because obviously Kyle _knows _that this guy is just baiting him on. Instead he said, "Well he's a fucking pussy who can't even come over here to say this shit to my face."

A huge smirk spread across the boy's face and he ran over and told Stan. From the look on Stan's face he looked like he was about to punch the guy in the face after he told him what Kyle said and more. I looked back over at Kyle, "Dude why'd you—"

Suddenly, I heard some chairs moving and the whole room went quiet even Mr. Garrison who was now flipping through a magazine with his legs crossed was looking at the scene. I looked over and saw Stan standing right beside me.

"If I'm such a pussy then say the shit you just said, right now," Stan said menacingly.

Again, I thought Kyle would just ignore Stan and act as if he didn't see him as usual, but instead Kyle looked at Stan with a malicious smirk and repeated what he said... and more.

"You're a pussy. You're an asshole dirt bag that does nothing, but talk shit about everyone," Now if you don't mind, you get the fuck out of my face scum bag," Everyone gasped with looks of shocked and amused expressions.

Before Stan could say anything I put my hand on his shoulder to try and stop him from saying anything more—to make this situation even worse. Stan looked at me then backed away going back to his seat on the other side of the room. Releasing the breath I was holding I sighed. It's not easy to have close friends of yours that are mortal enemies, in the end you always end up in the middle of every single fight.

Back in 9th grade when everything exploded between the two we all decided not to pick sides, that we would all hang out with the both of them whenever and its working, but its just… so damn hard sometimes dude.

When Stan was away from Kyle, but still in earshot "Bitch," Stan muttered.

'Oh no' I thought with a sigh as Kyle stood up so fast lightening wouldn't even be able to strike him and walked up to Stan who had turned around and pushed him. This caused someone in the class to yell out "Fight!" Almost everyone was shouting "fight, fight!" until I hopped off the desk I was sitting on top of and stood in the middle to try and stop this.

Some people were still shouting fight and both Stan and Kyle look like they actually wanted to duke it out right now. But out of no where someone said the craziest thing, "Yeah, fight and take your shirts of while you're at it. Come get this baby oil and pour it all over yourselves while wrestling on the grimy floor," Everyone stopped and looked at the person who said that shit: Mr. Garrison.

When we all looked at him he cleared his throat, tried to re adjusts his glasses and started flipping through his magazine, ignoring the whole class's stares. Everyone turned their attention back to Kyle and Stan.

"You know what, how about we settled this shit and see who the real bitch is." Stan demanded.

"A challenge, I accept. Be ready to get your ass kicked asshole, that's only if you show up pussy," Kyle said a malicious smirk gracing his lips.

"The only one who should be talking about getting their ass kicked is you. After school, behind the school, be there," Stan said shoving past Kyle just as the bell rang.

* * *

Walking to the front of the school and I'm halfway down the street from the school when I faintly hear two things: The crowd of dumb-ass kids and teachers cheering and in the distance sirens…

Oh shit, it's the cops. I start running back to the school and to the back just when I think the sirens are getting closer. I push through the crowd and hear Cartman loud whine, "Watch it Kinny!" The first thing I see is Stan and Kyle bruised, a little bloody and Kyle about to strikeout at Stan's face with his fist.

Rushing over with the speed I keep reserved for when I'm either: fucking, beating the crap out of someone and running from the cops. And I catch Kyle's fist before it could hit that beautifully sculptured face of Stan's. I look around and everyone looks surprised. Shit, I'm surprised myself.


	4. Because I Know

Because I know

* * *

_**E. Cartman**_

Oh crap here comes Kinny. Why is he here? I'll tell you why: 1. To fuck up my money. 2. To try and save the fucking day. Goddammit, I bet a lot of fucking money! Well, it's not like I didn't see this shit coming. Dumb ass Kenny, why did he have to mess everything up? Why God? Please God, next time could you please tell me or send me a sign or some shit before Kenny decides to fuck me! Because I like to be good and ready before I get a good hard fuck.

I look up when I hear surprised gasps in the air around me. And this is what the hell I see: Kenny holding Kyle's fist that was very close to smashing against Stan's face. Kyle looks shocked and pissed at Kenny from stopping his fist. Stan also pissed, but not as shocked.

"What the hell dude?! Let go!" Kyle says trying to get his fist out of Kenny's grip.

Kenny is surprisingly strong for someone who's skinny and doesn't have half of the muscle I packed on, but there's the skinny, mountain town hick for ya. Even though, Kenny may not live in the ghetto anymore, you can't erase about twelve years worth of surviving on whatever was given to you and fighting anyone and anything that thought that they could threaten or run over you because of your address.

"Alright, but you better not hit 'em," Kenny lets go of Kyle's fist and Kyle moves back. "Look, the cops are coming and they're just down the street. Break this shit up and go home."

Out of nowhere some kid says, "Fuck the police!" And punches Kenny in the back of the head. Pause.

Okay, for anyone who don't know who the most ruthless fighters are in this school are let me give you a quick list: Me (of course), Clyde, Kyle, Stan (It's a tie between the two assholes), Token, Kenny, Craig. Therefore with that being said it's safe to say that whoever this dude was just got knocked the fuck out! And Kenny actually gets on the ground in one swift movement to continue to punch the boy who hadn't had time to recover from that last blow.

Kyle and Stan move forward to get Kenny off of the poor boy.

"Move out of the way ass face!" Kyle says to Stan who was trying to pull Kenny off also.

"Why don't _you_ move, you fucking douche, this is all your fucking fault," Stan retorts back.

When they got Kenny off of the boy Kenny then tries to kick the boy but misses and kicks Kyle who was picking his bag off the ground in the back of his shin. Kyle turns around quickly with a sharp, "Hey! Asshole," And walks up to Stan and pushes him.

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

Oh boy, I'm tired and hungry as hell. I step in between the two and say, "Alright assholes, its over so takes ya asses home!" The crowd gives out a loud groan and disperses. Kyle goes back over to his messenger bag and hastily pulls it over himself, but before storming off, grabs Kenny and then storms off towards the flooded student parking lot.

**(*)**

I look at Stan who is now putting his shirt back on. He looks a mess as did Kyle. I know you're probably expecting me to go over and talk to him, to figure out what started it. I won't because I already know what started it.

At least go over there and see if he's okay? I won't because I know he isn't. Ask him why this happened? I won't do that because I know why. Who do you think sent that jackass over to Kyle in class to begin with?

Betting on one of those assholes and loosing my money (all thanks to Kenny) was for show, so no one would suspect a thing. I called officer Barbrady to tell him that it might be a fight going on school property and asked him if he could park down the street from the school and keep his sirens on. I convinced him that it might prevent the fight from happening if they knew the police was so close to the school. But... there is one thing I will ask Stan, "Hey asshole, wanna go to Shakey's?"


	5. Yes, You are Indeed

Yes, you are indeed

* * *

_**Kyle B.**_

When I reach my car–a white Audi s5 convertible, I open the passenger side door and throw Kenny in, then walk over to the driver's side and get in.

"The first thing I want to say Kenny," I start dangerously calm, " Is what the _hell_ dude?!" I looks over at Kenny who is fiddling with his phone.

"Kenny, Kenny!" I call and I am becoming increasing annoyed at Kenny's lack of attention right now.

"Yeah, what?" Kenny finally answers.

"Why the freak did you stop me from punching Stan?" I say slowly trying to calm my anger. 'Slow down. Deep breaths' I tell myself remembering the technique my anger management counselor suggested.

Kenny looks over at me and pauses for a moment before explaining, "Look, the cops were coming down the street and I didn't want you guys to get locked up."

"Yeah right, because you didn't want us to get arrested. Hell if I believe that one Ken."

"Really it's true. Before I heard the sirens I was almost down the street from the school," Kenny smirks, "And besides if you were to get locked up the creeps in the holding cells, they ain't gonna be quite gentle with a little red head Jew like you."

I smack Kenny's shoulder smirking, "Whatever," I say completely letting him off easy, before starting the car and putting it in drive.

"Anyway, you coming with me or do you want to go home for a while?"

"Nah, take me to the car shop. I need to see about my fucking baby dude."

"When do you think it'll be ready?"

"I don't know, but the damage was kinda bad."

"Serves you right, I told you, Cartman and Clyde not to do that dumb stunt you did—taking turns knocking down every one's mailbox."

"But that shit was funny dude."

"But you got caught."

"Damn that old man who mail box we knocked down," Kenny says while shaking his right fist and I laugh as Kenny continues, "He was a fucking douche, he actually chased us down in his car. We had to get away fast so Cartman was driving and Jimbo's truck was a block in our get away. Cartman cut across some people's yard, but Clyde was all like, "It'll be so cool if you jumped over Jimbo's car. So fat-ass turned around and jumped—"

"And failed horribly," I finish.

"Yep, so are you going to stay for the reunion?"

"To watch you and your car make out? No. I was going to Shakey's, but I'm just going to go home first and probably meet up with Red later."

"Oh, I see, you planning on getting it in tonight aren't you?" Kenny asks as he waggles his eyebrows.

"Look, we're just going to hang out. Plus she's been practically begging for us to hang out lately."

"So she wants you to fuck her."

"No—" I can barely deny it and from the look Kenny's giving me, proves it.

Kenny clicks his teeth, "Come on bro. I heard you two been seeing each other. So is it true?"

"Ken, if something was going on between me and Red you'd know." I try, but fail when Kenny continues to look at me as if he was still expecting an answer. "Maybe," I finally spill with a grin.

"I'll take that as a yes. And oh yeah, tell Ike that next Monday would be cool."

"What, what's next Monday?" I ask curiously.

Kenny smirks, "None of your business, just tell him next Monday."

"Alright, whatever, I am bound to find out anyway. Also, why can't you tell him yourself?"

"Because he sent me a text Wednesday saying he's grounded."

"Yeah, I guess I haven't really seen him out of the house lately, besides school."

"You guess? Haven't you talked to Ike?"  
"Yeah, we talk everyday, dude if you haven't noticed we live in the same house."

"I know, but does he tell you shit like why he's grounded or what's going on in his life?"

I say nothing because if it was really important or if Ike wanted to tell me he would. Right? As I pull into the auto shop Kenny hops out, and sticks his light golden blonde head through the passenger side window to tell me he'll text, call or meet up with me later, before I pull off, heading home.

* * *

You know, this is freaking bull crap. I know I shouldn't still be pissed about what happened earlier, but I am. Why the hell did Kenny have to stop me from punching Stan in the face? From knocking the asshole out and probably shut that him up for once. And then he says it's all my fault, yeah right he's the one who started all of this not me. I hate that fucking asshole.

When I'm home I quickly walk in the house and run upstairs to my room. I put my bag on my desk and immediately grab my cell phone that's been buzzing for awhile out of my bag to reply back to all my messages. I throw my phone on the bed, and walk out of my room to the bathroom to shower. When I'm done showering and dressed in a pair of black jeans and a long sleeve v neck shirt, I sit on my bed and check my texts (fucking fiends), facebook, twitter and email.

I could totally do without all the constant texts and all these people on my back. Why do they even want talk to me in the first place? I'm definitely not something special. I'm just a normal hormonal stupid boy. I miss when things we're so much simpler; no drama, no sex, just us dumb boys doing dumb boy things and girls doing dumb girl things. Putting my phone down, hoping to take a quick nap to ease my irritation and body from the fight earlier my phone rings. Fuck! I pick it up to see who it is and it's Red. I answer it.

"Hey Kyle," Red says flirtatiously.

"Hey," Its quiet for a second before I finally ask to feel the lack of space, "So, still want me to come over later?"

"Yes! I mean yeah, of course. Can you come over now?"

I try not to laugh. "Actually, yeah I can come over."

"Okay, well see you soon," Red says hurriedly and overly flustered.

"_Bye_ Red," I say in a way that I know will make her melt.

"Bye Kyle," Red says melting, before hanging up.

Just as I hang up Ike walks into my room and sits down on the edge of my desk (Ike and I don't knock on each others doors unless I'm getting laid— this does not apply to Ike who better not be fucking anyone, or if either is pissed the fuck off) and glares at me.

"No hello, how was your-"  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ike asks bluntly.  
"What?" I raise my eyebrows in mock confusion.  
"I know you and Stan had a fight. Everyone at school knows, hell everyone in South Park fucking knows."

"Okay," I say slowly. "Is mom—"

"Mom's at a school meeting. You know how those things go."

"Okay—Crap, who the hell told her?"

"I told you everyone knows. One of the stupid ass teachers at school probably went gossiping around and word got back to her."

"How was she when she left?"

"She was pretty upset when she left with dad. You know, when she's all like "Wha, wha, what?!"

I have to stop himself from laughing at Ike's impersonation of our mom, he sounds just like her.

"I'm screwed," I say instead, dreading the lecture that is sure to come when the infamous _Shelia _Broflovski gets home. To say I'm not looking forward to that would be an understatement.

"Yes, you are indeed." Ike agrees with a smirk.


	6. Royally Shitty

Royally Shitty

* * *

**"Hey asshole, wanna go to Shakey's?"**

I turn around and see Cartman, car keys in hand with an impatient look on his face. "Um, sure dude. I'll meet you there."

"Alright, you better hurry, I'm ordering two large pizzas and I'm feeling kind of hungry today."

"You're always hungry fat-ass."

"Ey! Just for that I'm eating three slices out each pizza hippie," Cartman says before walking off to the parking lot.

* * *

When I've got my shirt back on I head off in the same direction of the student parking lot. It's mostly empty; save for one unlucky guy who was almost rear ended by Cartman's huge yellow hummer. Cartman blew his horn loudly causing the guy to speed away. I open the door of my black land rover range rover sport and start the car. As I'm driving I can't help, but wonder why Kenny broke up that fight between me and Kyle.

Kyle started this shit, the guy in Mr. Garrison's class came over saying that Kyle said something foul about me, so I just ignored it, but what struck me was when he said "_He said your such a fucking pussy that you can't even fuck Wendy_," I knew he was lying, but it was really bothering me and it had struck a cord inside me, so I went to confront Kyle. When I stop at a red light I take my phone out of my pocket and check my messages. Some are about the fight, others are about just random shit. When the light turns green again I start driving and when I pass a nearby park I see Ike. He's at the park standing by a large overgrown tree talking to someone whose back is turned to me and suddenly he reaches out and hugs the person for a long moment.

From closer inspection I could see that it's a dude. Okay, that's weird. The light turns red and I continue to make my way to meet Cartman. When I reach Shakey's I easily find a parking space and before getting out of the car I reach in the back seat to grab a jacket. As I'm walking inside my phone rings, pulling my phone out of my pocket I see that it's Wendy.

"Hey babe," I greet automatically.

"Hey, Stan could you come over later?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, cool, I have a surprise for you."

"Really, well I can't wait to see it babe," I say as I push open the doors to the pizza restaurant.

"Don't worry you'll love it. Love you."

"Love you Wens," I say before disconnecting.

When I reach the table Cartman's sitting at he's already polished off one whole pizza and is working on the second. Fine with me I'm not really hungry. I sit down and Cartman looks up from his phone.

"Bout' time asshole. I left you a couple slices."

"Its okay, you can have it." I say, getting settled in the booth.

"Suit your self." Cartman shrugs probably not caring either way.

So, I'm just sitting here with Cartman as he texts and stuff his fucking face with the last couple slices. And I'm still wondering why the fuck he invited me to come to Shakey's to watch him stuff his fucking face. My phone goes off again but with a text. I check it and it's Token. I grimace as I read the text.

'_Dude, we need to talk about what happened with Kyle. Call me or I'll come see you.'_

"Who's that, the bitch?" Cartman asks now finished with every slice of pizza and looking at me.

"No, Token and Wendy's not a bitch." I feel like I'm constantly saying this, but it continues to fall on fat deaf ears.

"Whatever dude, what did that asshole want?"

"He wants to talk about the fight."

"Lame," Cartman says looking back down at his phone.

"Cartman, why did you invite me here?" I finally ask.

"What?"

"I know you didn't invite me here just for me to watch you stuff your face."

Cartman looks up at me and starts with a, "Look—"

"Oh no, no, you're not about to start telling me what happened was wrong and could've been avoided because—"

"No, asshole, I don't really give a shit about what happened."

"Then why would you—" I stop short, realization dawning on me. The fucker. "You wanted to see if I was alright."

Cartman looks horrified, "No, I didn't."

"Admit it, you care." I say and can't help the slight smugness I feel to have caught Cartman in an act of kindness.

"I won't admit to something that's not true buddy."

"Okay, fine then why the hell did you ask me to come here?"

"I need you to talk to Wendy for me."

"About what?"

"Ask her to talk to Heidi for me."

"Why?"

"Because asshole, I need to be invited to that party next Friday."

"So, just crash. That's what most people do anyway."

"I planned to, but the hoe hired security just to keep me out."

"How do you know she hired security?"

"I heard her and Red talking in the girl's bathroom."

"Dude, why would she hire security just to keep you out some dumb party?"

"You remember what happened Monday?"

"Yeah, but you didn't come to school Monday."

"In third period."

"When Heidi got called to the office? That was you? Dude she was crying her eyes out."

"Yep. I told her dad what a ragging slut she was."

"All because of what happened last Friday in the hallway." I state as I shake my head at Cartman's latest antic.

Last Friday at the end of classes when everyone's in the hallway either at their lockers or talking, I was walking out of class when Heidi cursed Cartman out in front of everyone. She yelled that he was a fucking mama's boy, and how dare he cheat on her and then took out her lipstick and smeared it on his face as she continually cursed and hit him. Eventually Kenny stepped up and got her away and calmed down.

"The hoe deserved it," Cartman says unapologetic

"So, why do you need _me_ to talk to Wendy?"

"Duh, dumb ass to tell that hoe to reconsider."

"I doubt she will, but I can talk to Wendy about talking to Heidi. In the meantime I got to go."

"Hey! Where are you going, I did not invite you out to just ditch me."

"Wendy's."

Cartman grunts and waves his hand dismissively, "So whipped."

"Am not. I just like being faithful to my girlfriend of seven years."

"Counting the many times you broke up and fucked some other chick or chicks?"

"Bye Cartman," I say a little louder than necessary as I begin walking out of Shakey's.

"See ya asshole."

I walk out of Shakey's and get in my car. Before pulling out of the Shakey's parking lot I send a text off to Kenny.

'_Meet me at Starks?'_

'_Sure dude.'_

* * *

"Crap, I guess I better leave now before they get back home." I pocket my phone before climbing off my bed.

"What? Where are you going?" Ike asks as I stand.

"I'm going over a friend's house," I answer as I open my closet and walk in.

"Oh, you mean that girl with the red hair that you're boning."

"Yeah," I say distractedly as I put on my black vans. "Hey, Ike can you cover for me while I'm gone?"

"Sure dude," Ike says automatically.

"Thanks. See you later Ike," I ruffle Ike's short black hair before walking out of my bedroom.

What the fuck am I going to say when I get back home tonight? That is the only fucking thing I'm worried about right now. I'm going have to come up with some convincing shit to get out of this one. I've had the Sheila lecture about not fighting so many times that I know the exact words before it even comes out of her mouth.

Crap, I don't think I'm going to get grounded since there will be no suspension (hopefully), but if I don't come up with something convincing this thing may blow up bigger than it should. Opening the door I spot a familiar white Hyundai genesis waiting a few meters away from my house. I quickly, but quietly close the door and wait a few minutes. Once I hear the sound of the engine disappearing down the street I walk outside, giving out a sigh of relief as I get inside of my car and head to Red's house.

* * *

When I'm at Starks I spot Kenny sitting by a nearby tree and I go and join him.

"You got here fast, did you get your car back?" I ask looking out towards the pond.

"No, it isn't ready yet."

It's silent for a moment and Kenny looks at me as I continue to stare unseeingly at the pond in front of us, "Hey, dude are you okay?" Kenny asks worridely.

"Yeah, yeah- Ken who was that kid from Mr. Garrison's class this morning?"

"I don't know dude. I think he's a freshman, why the hell he was in there beats me."

I chuckle unamused, "Wow, I never thought it'll come to this."

"Come to what?" Kenny asks genuinely curious.

"Dude, for a fucking freshman; someone who doesn't know shit about any of this to cause an actual fight between me and Kyle things have got to be more than royally shitty now."

Kenny's face doesn't show it, but I know he's shocked. I never really mention Kyle by his name, hadn't in a while. I'd usually refer to him as a douche or an asshole or some other insult. Kenny doesn't say anything, and I'm silently grateful to have someone to just _listen_ as I talk.

"I still hate Kyle. I fucking hate him more and more everyday, but I know that fight was not supposed to happen. When that kid came up to me during class he just started saying how Kyle said all this shit about me and usually I'd brush it off as nothing, but… something that he said hit me. It hit me hard dude. And I snapped and came over to confront Kyle."

There's a pause. "Was any of what he said true?" Kenny asks soft, calmly.

I don't answer right away, but I know if there is anyone I can be honest with, someone who won't judge me, its Kenny. I nod silently before I voice my thoughts, "There's some truth to it."

"Fuck man! That-that's fucking low."

I nod, "When Wendy and I first started having sex I was honestly like scared. I mean I was only fourteen when we started doing things, but sex itself was like a whole nother' ball game. I knew what to do and I even had you, some of the guys and my dad for advice on what to do, but I just couldn't do it. Wendy noticed, of course because every time she would say she was ready and wanted to...I'd clam up or make up some excuse. I was so embarrassed, but thank fucking God for Wendy. She's like such a fucking saint, she helped me through it. When I was finally ready she didn't lash out after our first time, that it wasn't as good as we both thought it would be."

"No one's first time is ever as good as they thought it would be."

"Yeah, but the fact that she waited until I felt comfortable...usually its supposed to be the other way around, but."

"Its okay dude, It happens to everyone. You are only supposed to do what feels right. If I could go back I would wait. I would wait until I found someone who felt just as passionately about me as I do about them."

"I get it now, because what is the rush for? Just to say you did something, just to have something to brag about?"

"I know. Its like on the outside you're expected to be happy, singing show tunes and skipping down the street. You're expected to tell all your friends, but on the inside...its like surreal, and I really didn't _feel_ like telling anyone."

"That's why when that freshman dude came running up to me talking about something that no one was ever supposed to know about I just lost it. The only person I ever told about that was Kyle before we fell out. It was like the last good memory of him when we were still close, telling me it would be okay and he would be there for me, and that I didn't have to rush things... and that this didn't make me any less of a _man_."

"But didn't Kyle lose his virginity before you?" Kenny asks with a slight hesitation.

"Yeah, and we weren't talking by that time and I just- the hate that I felt for him was just so new you know, so _strong_. To hear all the guys congratulating him and asking how it was, I was honestly...jealous. So, I remember saying to myself to man the fuck up and just do it."

"And it worked?"

"No, not the first time. But the more I told myself I could and that I was okay with all of the things Wendy and I did so far and with Wendy's support I did."

"And now I feel so stupid for even letting the guy get to me. I mean we are not fourteen anymore, we're older and more mature than that and I should damn well act like it. But I still can't shake how fueled up I felt and a bit happy to finally get to knock that cocky asshole on his ass."

"Stan…" Kenny starts.

"Then right in the middle of the fight you came Kenny; to stop it and I wasn't surprised, I wasn't even mad. _You_ made me realize how stupid this was."

There was another silent moment of taking this all in and Kenny looks like he wants to tell me something, but instead he visibly swallows and shakes his head. Kenny finally finds his voice a minute later and asks, "Did you even want to fight Kyle in the first place? I know you were mad, but did you want it to go that far?"

"Would it be crazy if I said no?"

Kenny looked over at Stan and said, "No, it wouldn't. It's understandable."

"It doesn't make sense Ken other than the fact that the entire act itself was stupid. I hate Kyle, I should _want_ to fight him and feel no remorse about it."

Kenny slings an arm around my shoulders. "Its okay dude. It'll be okay." Kenny tells me genuinely as he leans closer to me. I don't mind because Kenny's always wants to be close, I guess its some sort of comfort mechanism or because he lacked that feeling of closeness growing up. "And at least you don't have any visible bruises. If I hadn't made it in time before that charming face of yours was damaged, I don't know what I'd be looking at right now." Kenny jokes and just like that I'm glad to have Kenny right beside me because he always knows how to make light of a situation.

I laugh, "Like you haven't seen me with a black eye before."

"True, but I think he would've given you more than just a black eye," Kenny doesn't say Kyle's name figuring I wouldn't want to be reminded of my slip up earlier.

"Hey Ken?"

"Yeah?" Kenny answers as he begins swaying us back and forth gently, in no particular way.

"I saw the weirdest thing today on my way to Shakey's."

"What, did you see that man lying in the middle of the street too? Swear someone was gonna hit him."

"No, I saw Ike hugging and kind of nuzzling someone at the park. A dude."

"Really, you sure it was a guy, dude?" Kenny asks skeptically.

"Yeah, it wasn't like a bro hug it was really intimate and like I said he was nuzzling some boy's neck."

"Are you sure it just appeared that way? I'm sure it was more like a bro hug."

"Yeah, I guess so. Ike is dating Craig's sister Ruby."

"Yep." Kenny agrees.

My phone goes off with a text message and I swear. "Its Wendy, I'm supposed to be meeting her tonight. Do you need a ride?" I ask, standing and brushing a few grass strains off of my jeans.

"Sure, take me home stud," Kenny says with a grin, standing up and following me towards the parking lot."


	7. Flabbergasted

Flabbergasted

* * *

I'm at Red's house now, in her room, on her bed, her parents aren't home and she's on top of me. And no we haven't fucked yet. And I'm honestly about to leave, I really don't want to hear this bitch keep talking. Why am I even here in the first place? I don't even like Red, I just want to get laid. I feel so uncomfortable and Red is snuggled up to me and yapping my ears off.

I have to do something, now. I sit up causing Red who's on top of me to sit up too. Red pushes her red nails through my curly hair and I suck in a breath. Ever since I was in the seventh grade I've 'tamed' my frizzy hair by cutting it and by using a special conditioner that fits my hair texture. I like to keep it short and manageable and I hate it when girls do that. I shift so she's lying on the bed instead of being fully on top of me.

"Hey, what's the matter Kyle?" Red asks a little put off.

"Red, what do you want?" I decide to ask curiously, but firmly.

"To hang out," Red says trying to be sexy, but failing as she puts an arm around my neck.

"I know, you've wanted to hang out all week, but don't you get tired of wanting to hang out with me and all the other guys."

Red drops her arm and moves away from me. "What are you talking about? What other guys?"

"You know the other guys you 'hangout' with," I physically use air quotes around the word hang out in case she doesn't get it. 'Don't you get tired of being a slut?' I want to say, but I don't have to judging by Red's open mouth look.

"Are you calling me a slut?"

Yes! "No I'm just—"

"You know Kyle, I thought you were different from other guys, but I guess I was wrong."

I can't help but find that amusing and laugh as Red pouts. I'm (probably) going to feel bad about this later, but for now I can't find it in me to care. "Where did you get that _brilliant_ idea?" I want to do nothing, but laugh in her face.

"Well almost every girl wants you and you did look pretty hot fighting Stan earlier today," Red says attempting to be sexy again while scooting towards me and failing miserably _again_ and _If_ I was sporting anything before its completely non-existent now.

Red gets back onto my lap as she continues talking, "And during Mr. Garrison's class you were so mad and it was like, so hot."

I don't know how my expression looks, whether I just look upset or downright horrified.

"Okay, I can't do this," I finally say before standing up from the bed. Red is now staring at me from where she's seated on her bed.

"Wait Kyle, where are you going?"

"Look Red, I'm no different than any other guy, if you ask me I'm worse."

"That's why I like you."

"Well, then you need to have your head checked out. And you don't like me; you just want a good fuck so you can gossip to all your friends."

"Well your not innocent either, you just wanted me for my body. I was just giving you what you want."

"That's true, but despite what rumors you've heard I don't fuck every girl I think looks attractive." Lie. "And word of advice Red, nobody likes a whore."

Red stares at Kyle as he walks out of her bedroom door completely flabbergasted before she turns around and flops on her stomach grumbling, "And to think I was going to let him do anal."

* * *

After I take Kenny to Bebe's house; he said he didn't want to be the only one not getting laid tonight (besides Cartman) I go to Wendy's house. No one's car is here except for Wendy's. I can't help, but grin. This won't be a family affair. I park my car in the driveway next to Wendy's silver Volkswagen CC r-line and get out; I don't bother ringing the doorbell I just walk right in.

As soon as I'm in I hear music playing, I look down and see red roses on the floor, leading up the stairs. I follow the trail which leads me straight to Wendy's room. I open the door and as soon as I walk in I see Wendy standing by her desk; her back towards me. I walk up behind her and she still hadn't notice me yet, I wrap my arm around her waist. Still she doesn't notice me. So I whisper in her ear, "So is this my surprise?" She turns abruptly rigid.

"Oh, hey Stan," Wendy say surprised before turning around with a small smile.

"Hey," I greet kissing Wendy on the lips. "Why are you standing in the middle of the room?"

"No reason, just checking my messages," Wendy says slipping her purple phone in one of her robe's pockets. "And to answer your question, no, this isn't your present." Wendy unravels her purple robe and let it fall down to the mahogany floor, "This is." I am completely lost for words. Wendy stands before me in a purple and black bow ruffle corset and skirt lingerie set that hugs her curves so perfectly and tall black pumps.

Wendy swipes her pin straight black hair over one shoulder and walks over to her dresser and comes back with a small black box; big enough to fit a necklace in. She sits next to me and hands me the box. I open the box and there's a necklace with a pendant on it that has hers and my first initials on it.

"I made this for you last week, you can think of this as an early birthday present, but I'm giving you this because I really care about you Stan."

"Thanks babe," I say kissing Wendy. We don't break apart, but I take the initiative to deepen the kiss until we're full blown making out with Wendy's voluptuous body underneath me on her canopy bed.

Soon one thing leads to another and let's just say that I left Wendy's house that night a very lucky guy.


	8. But You Love Me

But You Love Me

* * *

The weekend passes fairly quickly and soon enough everyone was back at school on Monday and like everyday, there's some type of shit going on.

I'm in fourth period English class with Kenny, fat ass, Clyde and douche. And I'm sitting next to Clyde who's on my right and Kenny who's on my left and Cartman sitting in the desk behind me. The teacher—Mrs. Green (she's British and has an accent similar to Pip's) is talking and it's silent; most of us are writing note when a loud, obnoxious farting sound breaks the silence and concentration of others.

"Goddammit Cartman!" Kyle yells.

"What? Jew just turn around and do your fucking work."

"You keep farting and I can't even concentrate for two fucking minut—" Kyle was cut off by Cartman farting again.

"Oh, did you say something Kyle I couldn't hear you."

"Alright, Eric go to the principal's office."

"Finally," Kyle practically screams in relief.

"Mr. Donovan wake up!"

Sitting next to Clyde I shake him and he jumps up with a shout of, "Mommy, I did put the toilet seat down!"

"Clyde, do I need to send you to the Principal's office too?"

"N-no Mrs. Green," Clyde says and sits up to try to pay some sort of attention.

"Craig Tucker are you also sleeping in my class?"

Craig's head shoots up from his desk quickly as he says "No," before laying his head back down.

"Mr. Tucker! You are sleeping in my class!" Mrs. Green shouts impatiently. Not that she's going to get much of a reaction out of Craig.

"No I'm not," Craig says with his eyes still closed and head still laid on the table. The entire class starts laughing at a confused and frustrated Mrs. Green who turns around and starts to teach again.

"Mrs. Green?" I ask tentatively, not really wanting to bring too much attention on myself, but Wendy just texted me approximately three minutes ago to meet her near her locker.

"Yes Stanley?"

"For crying out loud!"

"Kyle don't get upset so quickly. This could be important. Now what is it that you want Stan?"

"No, it's okay never mind—" I start to say as the attention of the entire class is diverted to me. We only have about ten minutes left of class anyway.

"No, go ahead Stan," Mrs. Green encourages.

"Uh, can I go to the bathroom?"

"Really?!" Kyle throws his hands in the air in irritation.

"Dude chill, this has nothing to do with you." I can't help, but say completely annoyed.

"It does when it's involving my education." Kyle quips back and I grit my teeth. Fuck your education.

"Well just shut up and finish taking notes like everybody else."

"Don't tell me what to do jackass."

"Kyle, language." Mrs. Green says at last.

"Can I just go?" I ask firmly.

"Yes Stanley, you may." Mrs. Green allows with a wave of her slender pale hand.

As I walk past Kyle's desk he mutters just enough for me to hear, "Asshole." Hearing this, as I walk past I 'mistakenly' knock Kyle's notes on the floor. Twerp. "Oh," I start in a bluntly obvious fake concerned tone, "Looks like you dropped your notes Broflovski, how clumsy of you."

"Yes Kyle, you shouldn't leave your notes on the ground someone could trip," Ms. Green pitches in politely as she continues to scribble something on the whiteboard.

"But I think he did it intentionally Mrs. Green," I decide to say lips quirking up in a half grin/grimace as the class snickers.

"Is that true Kyle? Did you drop your notes so Stanley would fall?"

Kyle had to be boiling with rage. Good. "No, Mrs. Green I did not," Kyle says through gritted teeth.

And as I leave the classroom I paste a smug smirk on my face and for sure Kyle wants to knock it off my face so bad.

* * *

"I'm sorry Principal Victoria," I say in my usual un-sorry and bored tone.

"I told you I'm not Principal Victoria! I'm the Vice Principal!" The raging balding guy with a receding hairline shouts at me who was now seated in the dark blue cushioned chair with mahogany arms and legs that matched the decor of the office.

Oh great, this asshole; Vice Principal Brown. He's round, his breath smells like stale coffee and he's always wearing a suit that resembles the color of shit. Principal Victoria is one of the South Park

Elementary faculty members that followed us to high school along with some of the teachers from North, West, and East park.

"And where is Principal Victoria Mr. Round?" I ask not really caring.

"Brown, and she's not here today, she took a day off."

"Alrighty, well I guess I'll go back to class then," I comment standing up.

"No, you will not. You were sent here to be dealt with and you should be punished."

"Punished my ass, I'm leaving." I snort.

"That's it young man! I am tired of your attitude and language!"

"Well, I'm tired of standing here looking at your round ass in a brown shit stain suit." I point out.

"That is it Eric," Both Vice Principal Brown and I turn in the general direction where we heard the voice. Standing in the arch of the doorway is Principal Victoria dressed in a blue pinstripe pants suit today. "For the rest of the month you will have after school detention."

"But it wasn't my fault I have gas reflux," I whine, knowing that more often than not it _still _gets me off the hook even as a seventeen year old.

"Sorry Eric, but you will serve after school detention, starting today." Principal Victoria decides unfazed.

"Goddammit!" I yell angrily before leaving and slamming the door on my way out. I ignore the registrar's stare before barreling out of the front office and into the empty hallway. I have shit to do today! As I'm walking down the hallway I see Stan walking the opposite hallway. How he convinced that stuck bitch to get out of class must have been amazing.

"Hey asshole, what are you doing out here," I greet as I make my way across the hall towards Stan.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Yeah right, I'm not stupid." Must Stan insult my intelligence like this.

"I'm going to go see Wendy," Stan admits.

"Weak," I say un-caring.

"Shut up fat ass, she wants to tell me something."

"Oh no. I guess today is the day. It's a little earlier than I expected the bitch would dump you, but it wouldn't make—"

"What? Wendy's not breaking up with me?!" Stan is so easy.

"Look Stan, you know this bitch does this all the time. She says she wants to talk and the next thing we know you're making out with Patty Nelson or some other hoe, and crying about how the fuck you feel."

"Look I have to go, I told Ms. Green I was going to the bathroom." Stan says walking away from me. I know I've gotten to him, why do I do it? Because it's too easy. And honestly I don't know how Park High's golden couple even manage to last as long as they do. They breakup about twice a year and still run back to each other, it's fucking pathetic.

"Good luck asshole, don't cry like a pussy," I say before leaving in the opposite direction, towards the front doors of the school. Fuck if I'm gonna let detention ruin what have planned today.

* * *

Walking down the hallway I couldn't help, but wonder if Cartman was right. Maybe Wendy wants to break up. Shit, what am I going to say? If she breaks up with me I'm going to feel like shit. I cover face with my palms, but drop them once I spot Wendy standing patiently by her locker. When she sees me she gives me a weary smile.

"Oh crap, she's about to break up with me."

"What, Stan I'm not breaking up with you. I just wanted to ask you something. Can you tell the president of the debate club 'aka Kyle' that we're going to have to reschedule our meeting. I'm not going to be here after school."

"Why?" I ask curiously. She didn't mention anything important yesterday.

"I'm leaving early. I'm going to an interview for an intern job."

Ah, I vaguely remember Wendy telling me that Gerald Broflovski's lawyer firm has an intern position open.

"Okay, but why can't you tell the _president_ of the debate club yourself?" I ask not really wanting to talk to Kyle or be around him at all.

"Because I have to leave now Stan, my interview is in an hour." Wendy explains calmly as if this makes complete sense.

"To prepare?"

"No, to pick out a cute, but sophisticated outfit," Wendy says with a bright smile, " I'm taking Bebe with me so she can help."

"I still don't understand why you can't go tell him now," I say pouting just a bit and hoping it gets me out of doing this one thing.

Instead Wendy stares at me hoping I'd relent, but when I refuse and my expression still shows indifference she sighs heavily.

"You know, it's okay Stan. I'll go by and tell Kyle. You don't have to do it. I just thought you would because you _are_ my boyfriend who I love very much by the way. And I thought you'd be able to do me this _tiniest_ favor. I thought you would understand how important this interview is to me," Wendy then opens her locker and sighs heavily once again, taking out two giant books.

Watch Wendy stuff her already overstuffed backpack with one book and the other inside of a giant handbag I admittedly begin to feel guilty. I mean it is a small thing to do, won't take more than a minute and I should be man enough to do it.

"I'm sorry Wens, your right I am your boyfriend and I love you too. I should be able to do this for you. I'll do it, no problem."

"Thanks Stan," Wendy calls as I leave and God I love her.

* * *

I finally finish taking notes just as the bell rings. As I'm getting my books together I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see Craig.

"You nearly lost it in class a few minutes ago."

"How would you know, you were asleep."

"No, you should know by now that I was not _really_ asleep." That's true and explains why Craig always passes tests or any type of quiz we take. He just doesn't care too much for participation, but funny enough Mrs. Green is the only class Craig sleeps in because and I quote 'She's a whiny British bitch.'

"It was nothing, just Cartman being annoying as always and everyone interrupting my class time. I can barely finish taking the notes I needed to study." I need to pass this test we have coming up next Monday, I need to do something to get my mom off of my back. When I arrived home late last Friday I was ambushed by a wave of lectures and threats of being grounded and having my car keys confiscated.

I wasn't too worried about being grounded because I could just sneak out, but I would like to keep my car and to be able to go on my surprise weekend getaway party.

I haven't told anyone yet, the only person who knows is Wendy because we are planning it together and should pretty much be finished with all of the details and plans after school today. But we pretty much got permission from Principal Victoria to invite the entire senior class on a two day retreat before school closed for the holidays.

"Okay, dude just try to chill out some." Craig advises, "Hey, are you going to Heidi's party Friday?"

"I don't know I have a paper to finish and—"

"No, you're going even if I have to drag you there myself dude. Last time you ditched out on us." Craig states firmly. And by ditching did Craig mean that I actually left to go bang this private school girl's brain out on her living room couch, while her best friend waited for her turn...then yeah.

"Alright I'll go, but I'm not getting wasted." I say, but I know that as soon as I get a cup in my hand that idea is probably going to go straight out of the window. Craig rolls his eyes at my lie and turns around to leave, "See you later asshole." I say lovingly to Craig's retreating back, and I didn't need to see Craig to know that he was flipping me off.

Moments later when I'm at my locker putting my previous books in and getting new ones for my next class, I close my locker and see Kenny leaning on the locker next to mine.

"Hey Ken." I greet lightly.

"Hey Kyle." Kenny looks at me in a knowing way and I shut my locker before we begin walking together. We take our time walking to our next class and occasionally stop to chat with some guys.

Although, as we pass two girls, one of them consisting of Red who shoots a mean glare at me and shrug hardly caring.

Kenny seeing the death glare Red gives me asks, "So, how did it go with Red last Friday? I think you failed to tell me anything that happened between the two of you. And don't leave out any of the dirty parts either." Kenny smirks in anticipation.

"There were no dirty parts. I asked her why she whores herself around, she freaked out and I left," I deadpan.

Kenny stops walking and after walking a few feet ahead I look back at Kenny confused, "What?"

* * *

"You practically called her a whore dude. Wow. I knew you were an asshole, but that may have been downright cruel" I say still a bit shocked knowing how blunt Kyle can be most times.

"I was curious and she needed to be asked. Everyone knows she's with a different guy every couple of days."

I was still a little in shock. He knows that when it came to girls Kyle is a major asshole. Its agreeable that Red does tend to be with a different guy frequently, but from actually being one of the assholes that dated and dumped her, I know for a fact that she's not doing it because likes it. She's just lonely and that, even I can understand. She's just a good girl with bad habits.

Despite the rumors that run rampant at this school Kyle has only had two official girlfriends who were Bebe Stevens (Who I am currently fucking) and Rebecca Cotswolds. Those relationships did not go well. Kyle dated Rebecca first, who he did did not have sex with and Bebe second (who he did have sex with ). Every other girl was just one night stands or brief flings that never lasted.

When Kyle and Rebecca broke things off they decided to still be friendly towards each other, but with Bebe… When Kyle broke up with her at the end of 10th grade year she was completely horrific. She cried and screamed. Now Bebe's over Kyle, but ever since what happened to her, Kyle's been known to be the asshole all girls want, but could never truly have.

"True, but don't tell her that. Some guys don't mind a slutty girl," I say knowingly.

"Aren't you still with Bebe?"

"Yeah, but I think I'm going to break up with her today." I joke, because I'm not really sure what me and Bebe have going on could be called an actual relationship. We mostly just fuck and talk, well I do most of the talking, but it's...cool.

"You've only been with her for a couple of weeks."

"She's too clingy for my taste." If Bebe was anything, she wasn't in the least bit clingy. After our first time fucking she didn't stay long to actually want to cuddle. Talk sure, but being all lovey dovey nope. I kind of think that Kyle broke her after he broke up with her. Bebe has not been very emotional available ever since. She's good with sorting out other people's shit, mines included, but she's not very emotional or passionate when it comes to herself.

"You're such an idiot Kenny," Kyle says pushing me lightly, before walking into our advanced chemistry class. Hey, I may not be as smart as Kyle in other subjects, but I tend to have a thing for anything science related. I'm fair in math, but I hope to actually get a degree in automotive engineering.

I haven't really voiced this to anyone except for Butters and Bebe and they've been supportive, but would it be stupid if I was actually worried at what people will think when they realize that I'm not just interested in fucking around and actually care about my future? I hope not.

"But you love me," I reply back smugly as I follow him inside.


	9. Oh, Hamburgers

_Oh_, Hamburgers

* * *

I'm in my last class of the day, sitting in my usual seat waiting for class to start. I really don't want to do this. As soon as the asshole walks through the door I stand up and stop him.

"Broflovski," Kyle doesn't say anything, just gives me a dirty look of acknowledgement.

Before I can tell Kyle that Wendy cancels Mr. Garrison yells at us to be seated. Sighing I go to sit down in my seat just as class begins.

Class is as boring as ever and I'm only barely listening at the end of class when Mr. Garrison mentions a paper.

"The paper I want you to write is to be five paragraphs about what you think would improve our economy today. I will pair you up today with someone to complete this paper by Friday."

The class groans to which Mr. Garrison replies, "I know, I know you all have some sort of _insignificant _other or thing to attend to, who cares?" He then proceeds to call names from a list.

* * *

_**Craig T.**_

I sit down in my usual seat in Mr. Garrison's class and by the end of class I'm just ready to leave. I don't really care about being partnered up with someone. This paper is easy, so why the hell do we have to be partnered up? Finally, Mr. Garrison starts to call out names.

"Bebe you will be paired with Clyde. Kenny you will be paired with Butters. Token you will be paired up with Heidi. Craig you will be paired with Tweek. Oh, fuck! "Wendy you will be paired with," I look over and see that Stan looks like he's expecting to be paired with Wendy. "Cartman," Stan's face falls "because these two are not here can someone let them know they will be partners, okay."

Mr. Garrison continues until he's down to the final four, "Pip you will be paired with…Damien." That only leaves two people left. "Stan you are paired with Kyle," The whole class silently gasps, but no one has a chance to say anything because the bell rings. I grab my books and pat Stan who seems frozen in his seat comfortingly on the back. I lean against the door frame as everyone passes out quickly and look over at Mr. Garrison's desk where Kyle is demanding he work alone. Mr. Garrison just shakes his head 'no' before beginning to pack up his papers and grab his bag.

But Kyle asks again only to be declined verbally by an annoyed Mr. Garrison and told specifically that he cannot work alone or switch partners. Kyle then grabs his books off his desk and hurries out of the door furious. Stan who finally got out of his shocked state gathers his things and leaves without sparing one glance at anyone.

**(*)**

Goddammit, why did Garrison have to make things worse than what it already is? Before I even realize it I'm speaking.

"Why?"

"Because they need to get over whatever bullshit that have going on," Mr. Garrison answers not missing a beat as he continues to pack up. Its as if the asshole knew someone was going to question his decision.

I shake my head, "It's just going to make things worse."

"Look," Mr. Garrison starts as he looks at me without a hint of emotion and for what seems like the first time, I realize how much older Mr. Garrison actually is. He's been my teacher since the third grade and now as I'm standing before him as a senior in high school it's pretty weird. "I've practically known you kids since before you were able to wipe your own snotty noses and asses correctly.

And as history has proved, things aren't going to just magically get better by ignoring the problem and coming up with excuses. I can see that you hope, and don't deny it you stoic bastard because I know it's a front," Mr. Garrison says as I open my mouth to object. "You want them to make up, it's fucking exhausting having to play both sides, right? This is just a push in the right direction. So for once just be grateful for something I've done for you kids," Mr. Garrison finishes stuffing his papers in his bag roughly before grabbing his jacket.

He gently pushes me outside of his classroom before shutting the lights off and locking the door, "I'm not as oblivious as you all would like. You have no idea the types of things I hear and see," Mr. Garrison states before walking towards the end of the hall towards the back exit where the teachers/faculty parklot is.

I'm in shock and I feel admittedly guilty for questioning Mr. Garrison's attentions. I bet we do seem like a bunch of selfish brats that are always mixed up in some drama. With a sigh I hurry to my locker which is conveniently next to Stan's. He's at his locker furiously putting things inside before stuffing his book bag. He slams his locker shut and covers his face.

"Dude," I start not really knowing what to say and Stan glances over at me quickly before glaring at his locker.

"What?"

"You know what," Stan sighs. "Look dude it's just one assignment; an easy one. You could finish it in like a day."

"I know, but I have to work with _him_ Craig."

"So what. Like I said it's an easy assignment. Finish it today and you won't ever have to talk to him again. Then Friday night we can get wasted or do whatever we want, fuck you," I say causing Stan to chuckle.

"You're right dude, It's just one paper," Stan relents and I give a short nod to this.

"Yeah, I know I'm right ass hat," I agree. There's nothing I would like to do more than just fucking sleep. Today has been so exhausting. I walk with Stan out of the side door that leads directly to the student parking lot before promising to talk later and breaking away to my black dodge challenger. And if I see Stan walking over to Kyle in the almost empty parking lot I don't say anything.

* * *

I'm in the student parking lot about to open my car door after putting my books and bag in the backseat when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there's—

"Broflovski," Stan starts as I single my attention on him. I'm taller than Stan by at least a foot and a few inches and I would be a liar if I said I don't use it to my own advantage. Stan's always been one of the short guys since the 8th grade when everyone hit their growth spurts, but that doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes at my guarded stance. "Look, I don't want to do this paper with you anymore then you want to do it with me," I raise an eyebrow in question. What does he plan to achieve by telling me this.

"Your point?"

"I need to get an 'A' on this assignment, so I'm willing to put aside my dislike for you to earn it." I want nothing more than to get in my car and drive 99 mph off a cliff. I don't want to work with Stan I fucking hate Stan.

But instead of voicing this with great strength I spit out an quick, "Okay."

"I think we can finish this paper within one day…so..."

"I can't. I have a debate club meeting with Wendy today." I say even though our meetings are actually on Thursdays, but I'm not going to fucking tell him that.

"She cancelled," Stan says with a shrug.

"What?"

"She has an interview to go to."

"Well, I promised I was going to hang out with Kenny right after school—" I quickly try to recover only to be cut off by a slightly annoyed Stan.

"Kenny's doing his paper with Butters after school."

Figuring I have no other convincing excuses that would get him off my back for the rest of the day, I relent to working with Stan, "Alright." I say and I'm definitely going to hate myself for saying this but, "Come over to my house and we'll work on the paper, my parents went to Ike's recital and should be gone for a couple hours." Stan says nothing and I don't wait for him to before getting inside of my car and leaving the parking lot.

* * *

A few hours later I'm sitting on the floor in the Broflovski's living room and the douche is scowling at me. I'm not looking at him, I'm looking at the screen of his laptop, but I can see his reflection. He's still glaring at me; I can feel it.

"Do you have a problem?" I decide to ask.

"Yes, there's a douche bag sitting in my living room," Kyle replies with a fake calmness that just rubs me the wrong way.

I sit Kyle's laptop on the sofa behind me and ask not just to get a rise out of him, but out curiosity "Dude, why do you have such a fucking issue with me?"

"I don't have to explain myself to someone I fucking loathe," Kyle spits out and did I really expect an honest answer to that.

I honestly want nothing more than to punch Kyle in his face right now. To tell him that I hate him and that I don't even want to be in the same vicinity as him any longer than I have to, which isn't long because we just finished our paper a few minutes ago, but—

"Dude, why do you hate me so much?" I ask in all seriousness. I'm curious, shoot me. And I don't think I will ever get the guts nor time to ever ask again. I know I won't.

Kyle's face shows surprise, but it disappears as quickly as it came, "You should go," Kyle says standing and walking out of the room to the front door.

"Why?" I ask my tone verging on the edge of frustration as I stand, facing Kyle.

"Because it's my house ass face." Kyle states firmly, hand motioning towards the door.

"I'll go... if you tell me why you hate me so much," I reply not making any movements towards the door.

"Why do you hate me?" Kyle throws out as I move closer to him.

"I asked you first," I whisper, having now succeeded at having Kyle's back against the wall.

"…I just do. I just fucking hate you. Every day I wish you'd just move away, leave South Park," Kyle whispers back.

"You're not giving me the truth and you know it."

"…Okay, you need to leave now," Kyle says once again.

"No, I'm not leaving," I say firmly, trying to keep my cool. For a moment we just stare at each other until Kyle averts his eyes to the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"Can you leave now? I have other things to do," Kyle states, still avoiding eye contact with me.

I keep Kyle against the wall with our hips close to touching, barely an inch apart, "Just tell me the truth Kyle," I ask again, and why the fuck is this so hard? Why am I even doing this?

I can feel how tense it's gotten between Kyle and I. And I'm stunned when Kyle answers back without any trace of malice, without any trace of any emotion, "What do you want me to say," It's not a question as much as it's a statement.

Kyle's eyes shifts up and lock with mine. "Anything," I say softly, "You can tell me anything you want."

Kyle visibly swallows before he abruptly says, "Leave. Now," His voice is once hard and cold once again.

"Fine," I mutter, completely pissed off now before turning away from Kyle, leaving.

* * *

"Hey Butters?" I ask grinning.

"Yeah Ken," Butters answers softly.

Butters and I are lying on the bed in Butters' room and I'm drawing circles on his knee. For some reason I'm always touching Butters, but he seems to not mind and I've been doing this since the 6th grade. And I'm going to admit it, I like touching Butters, I like hanging out with him. I like the fact that he'll be honest with me. I grin absently at the thought of Butters not being so innocent nor naive anymore.

"When do your parents get home?" I decide to ask before I get lost in the comfortable silence between us.

"I-I don't know," Butters answers a little caught off guard. I guess we should finish our paper," Butters says sitting up. I groan not really wanting to, but one side look from Butters makes me reconsider. He and I were working on our history paper and were close to being done when I started a tickling war of some sort. Which was honestly just an excuse to hear Butters high pitched desperate laughter.

Tired, we just layed on the bed talking about random things. About how Esther got caught in the janitor's closet...with the janitor last year. Butters parents weren't home when Butters invited me to work on our paper at his house and that's great. I don't like Chris and Linda because they are always coming in to check on Butters and grounding him for bullshit reasons.

"Alright," I say sitting up also. And an hour later Butters and I have finished our paper and just as Butters closes his laptop I flop back onto the bed. "Hey, Butters are you going to Heidi's party tomorrow?"

"Ken, well, I don't know."

"Well, I think you should come, it'll be fun."

"_Well_," Butters starts making me smirk, "I guess I could if my mom and dad don't ground me again. Plus _Heidi,_" Butters snort, "Really?"

"What?"I ask and don't even attempt to hide my laughter.

"She's such a bitch Ken. She thinks that just because everyone loved her brother, that everyone will love her no matter what the hell she does." Butters says as he stands gracefully from his bed to lean on his white dresser, facing me.

"He was the same, but nobody really had the balls to stand up to him."

"Except for Stan."

"Yeah..." I trail off because Stan actually was the only one to put 'Mr. PARK COUNTY HIGH KING' in his place. Till this day I still believe Stan's got balls of steel. Because a freshman boldly telling someone more experienced and older to square the fuck up...we were all scared shitless that day, but that didn't stop us from standing behind Stan.

That day kinda went down in Park County High history and effectively gave us our infamous reputations. If only things were still like that. I almost chuckle at the memory of Kyle about two seconds away from smashing the fuck out of Heidi's big bro's face if he thought he was gonna put a hand on Stan. Damn, how things have changed.

"Don't worry, even if you do get grounded," I sit up and move to the edge of the bed and motion for Butters to come closer. "And so what if Heidi thinks she shits diamonds. I can help you sneak out if I need too."

"Ken I—" Butters starts, but doesn't get to finish at the sound of Butters' bedroom door opening.

"Butters did you—" Chris starts, but changes his words and tone when he sees me in Butters' room with his son standing between my knees.

"Butters!"

"Yeah dad?" Butters ask with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"What are you doing? We told you not to bring anyone over while we are out," Chris lectures and if I didn't have at least a modicum of respect for the guy I would tell him something he'd want to fuck me up over.

"I know, but me and Kenny had a paper to do."

"But you still disobeyed your parents so you are grounded mister."

"B-But dad—"

"No but's mister! You are to not go anywhere this weekend, is that clear?"

"Dad—"

"Is that clear?!"

"Yes, sir," Butters says a bit firmly as he wrings his hands together.

When Butters dad leaves I move even closer to Butters, "Butters, Butters?" I touch Butters' hands, stopping his movements and causing him to look at me, "It's okay Butters—"

"No it's not; now I _can't_ even go to Heidi's party."

"Yes you can, it just means we have to go to plan B: sneaking you out of the house."

"How're we gonna do that Ken?"

Looking at Butters face as he bites his bottom lip. I know he's just trying to put on a brave face. He hates it when his parents treat him like a child and I...totally agree. I stand and lean in close, tipping Butters chin up to look him in his beautiful blue eyes that hold much more light than mine, "Hey, don't worry about it," Butters doesn't speak as I envelope him in a hug, "I will see you later Butters I got to go to work."

"See you later Ken," Butters says finding his voice as I grab my grey hoodie before leaving.

* * *

_**Butters S.**_

I flop back onto my bed, still a bit red in the face from being so close to Kenny. I don't think Kenny knows just what he does to me. Kenny and I always hang out together and I really like having him around. I admire how much he does. He cares a lot more than people tend to give him credit for...but the same could also be said about Eric as well. I pull my white flowy curtains back just a smidge to see Kenny making his way down my driveway and down the street towards the auto shop. As he disappears from sight I let the curtains fall back in place soundlessly.

I like that Kenny tells me things that he wouldn't tell anyone. I also like how he is always here for me and in turn I vowed to always be there for him. Giving out a long sigh I practically face plant on my bed. Knowing that he would never want me, I mean for golly sakes he's Kenny and I'm just Butters honestly messes with my head sometimes. Which is funny because Kenny's always messing with my head himself. Just by the way he touches me... I know he just does it for no exact reason, but it's like sparks shocking my skin and I just let him. I guess I like torturing myself.

Oh, and yes I'm bi-sexual, I finally realized (admitted to myself) that I was when I was in the 7th grade and I came out to my parents and everyone freshmen year of high school. Kenny is straight, and sadly I just know he wouldn't go for someone like me even if was attracted guys. Sometimes I wish that he knew just how I feel. I've honestly never had to work this hard to get any guy I ever wanted but I really don't want to ruin our friendship. So if ignoring my body's wants is what it takes to keep things between Ken and I the same then I'll do it.

Well, in the meantime even though I'm a little weary I can't wait until tomorrow for Kenny's plan B. How does a person like me even have a friend like Kenny, I don't deserve him as my friend. Kenny is a great person, he's really nice, and so freaking _hot_. Looking down I spot the embarrassing tent in my pants.

"Butters dinner's ready! And your mother and I expect you to come down this instant or you will be grounded for two weeks mister!"

_Oh, _hamburgers. I try to get rid of my lopsided smile, debating between taking care of my hard on or going downstairs _with_ a raging hard on. It didn't take long to decide that I'm not up for leaving my room.

Unbuttoning my white jeans I push my jeans down to my waist along with my underwear enough to free myself. Taking me in one hand I pump away, barely able to stifle any of my moans with my plush white pillow.

When I finally release I reach over onto the nightstand and grab a couple tissues to cleanup the mess I made. Pulling my underwear (which were pink and white stripe hello kitty today) up I decide take off my jeans completely, trading it for my comfy blue pajamas before falling asleep exhausted.


	10. Ugh

Ugh

* * *

_Ugh_, school couldn't have been much worse than it already is and it's only lunch time. As I'm making my way to the cafeteria he bumps into me. The guy who has been staring at me all freakin' day in the classes I have with him. I have no idea nor do I want to know why the hell he's been staring at me since I walked into homeroom this morning. He doesn't even say excuse me he just stares at me again with those deep blue, hopeless eyes.

"Take a picture why don't you," I comment in passing before making my way into the cafeteria. I don't look to check his reaction because I seriously don't give a shit.

In the cafeteria I sit at my usual table with Kenny, Butters, Cartman and Tweek who are already seated.

"Hey, Kyle why is Stan staring at you?" Butters ask quite bluntly as I'm eat my lunch. I quickly take a sip of my sprite before answering.

"I have no idea dude, but he really needs to stop, it's creeping me out."

"Maybe he has it out for you, dude?" Tweek pipes in sarcastically after drinking from his thermos. And I hold back a small laugh at how nonchalant Tweek looked as he said that. I know in the past Tweek would have been dead serious about his assumption, but now that we're older it's not really so exaggerated anymore. I eye the thermos Tweek is sipping out of with want.

And no it is not coffee, Tweek quit that stuff in the 7th grade after his intervention. His random spasms and outburst had gotten so bad that he had to start taking capsules and pain meds to be able function at school. So after all of us voicing our concerns Tweek had finally quit and no longer have all of those bad side effects. Tweek now enjoys drinking tea, he says it's calming and I believe him. And I happen to enjoy the occasional honey chamomile tea-

"Maybe he's realized how much of a conniving Jew rat you are?" Cartman comments idly as he finish munching on a powerbar.

"Shut the fuck up Cartman," I mumble after taking a hearty bite from my sub sandwich.

"Maybe," Kenny starts, "He just wants to talk to you," Kenny says in a knowing tone.

The whole table goes silent before I start a bit taken aback, "Well, I have nothing to say to him. Just because we had one project to do together does not mean we can be—"

"Friends?" Tweek and Butters say in unison.

"Butt buddies?" Cartman pitches in with a snort.

"Super Best Friends~~?" Kenny draws out in a singsong voice.

I throw them all a menacing glare _especially_ Kenny (because he should really know fucking better) who throws his hands up and I even throw in a kick to Cartman under the table to which he replies with a high pitch, "Ey!" Causing everyone at the table to laugh.

"No. That will never happen," I disagree before eating a couple pretzels.

"Never say never," Kenny tells me twisting a strand of my curly hair on top of my head.

"Whatever," I say dismissively before taking another bite out of my sandwich, "Hey, fat lard how are you getting into Heidi's party tonight?" I ask wanting to change the subject away from me.

Cartman pauses from his eating to look at me, "I'm going to sneak in with the help of Token of course."

"You do realize that Heidi hired like 20 people to keep you out," I say nonchalantly, but completely bullshitting Cartman.

"20? Goddamit! Well that means I'll have to resort to plan B?"

"What's plan B?"

"None of your concern," Cartman says before stuffing a spoonful of mash potatoes in his mouth.

Finishing my sandwich I avert my attention to Tweek who is currently biting his lower lip.

"Everything okay Tweek?" I ask admittedly concerned.

"Yeah Kyle, it's just that I'm not really hungry right now," Tweek looks across the cafeteria at where Craig's sitting. I see this and smile knowing what's wrong with Tweek. Tweek confessed to me a while back about having a huge crush on Craig, he was freaked out and it sort of freaked me out because I didn't know Tweek even ran that way. Funny. I'm still surprised that Craig hasn't figured it out because they spend almost everyday together despite arguing more than a married couple lately.

I want to feel bad for Tweek because it has to be killing him to not know if his feelings are reciprocated. Especially when it comes to Craig. I want to and I know deep, _deep_ down I do because it's always that annoying nagging sensation that just feels for every poor soul. But it's not too effective for me to actually act on it. Besides even though Craig, has a stone cold exterior, and who everyone thinks to be completely nonchalant and harsh about things, I know for sure from being close friends with Craig for years that Craig is just a sweetheart with a crazy soft spot for animals and red racer.

"Hey, knock knock," Kenny asks me and I roll my eyes so hard they might pop out.

"Who's there?"

"The guy who finished second."

"The guy who finished second who?"

"Exactly," Kenny says with fake excitement causing everyone at the table to laugh at the entirety of the joke.

* * *

"Stan, can you stop fucking staring at Kyle?" Craig asks annoyed at me for constantly glancing at the redhead across the cafeteria and obviously ignoring anything anyone says to me.

"Yeah, sorry just…" I don't complete my thought and I really don't plan to. I avert my eyes away from a suspicious Craig.

"So, I heard that Wendy got her internship at Gerald Broflovski's lawyer firm," Token says as he pops a fry into his mouth. I don't reply, just stare at my tray of food blankly.

"Stan?!" Clyde says annoyed now as well.

I sit up straight and look up, "What?" I ask irritated. I can't concentrate for shit today.

"What the hell happened when you went over Kyle's house yesterday dude? You're freaking me out."

"Nothing," All three boys give me a 'bullshit' look, and I relent before things get ugly and continue, "Fine. We worked on our paper together with no problems then when I was sending a copy to my email he starts glaring at me and so I asked why he hated me so much and he told me to get out."

"And?" Token asks knowing there is more to the story.

"I didn't leave and told him he could tell me anything he wanted and he just told me to leave and so I did."

"Wait, what did you mean by he can tell you anything? Why did you say that?" Craig asks curiously as he dipped two fries in ketchup, but not eating them.

"Well, he said that he didn't know what to say to me."

"Then why are you starin' at him dude?" Clyde asks completely confused, eyebrows scrunched together as he plays with his mashed potatoes.

"Yeah, why don't you just talk to him?" Craig asks shrugging.

"I can't do that. Just because we had one paper to do together doesn't mean we like each other. Nothing changed, I still hate Kyle."

All three boys look at me and smirk which causes me to ask, "Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"You called him by his name, that's like a first in three years," Token says holding back a grin.

I click my teeth, "Shut up. Its not a big fucking deal, we're not ten anymore. And this project actually made me realize something."

"What's that," Craig asks throwing a fry at me and I dodge it completely and glare at a smirking Craig.

"That there are going to be a lot of projects and papers, and it's probably not going to be the last time I'm gonna have to speak to the guy. So what's the point of hating the guy."

"So, what...you're saying is that you don't hate Kyle anymore," Clyde asks raising an eyebrow.

"No," I snort, "I still hate the guy, but why let it affect me. If he doesn't care then I don't either."

"Right," Token says after my little 'realization,' "So, because he doesn't care, you're just going to pretend you don't either-"

"Who's pretending?" I take a bite out of my chicken sandwich.

"Okay...anyway dude," Clyde says after that awkward-tense moment passes, "I'm so not looking forward to those fifty laps around the football field today at practice."

"Well, if you didn't stuff your face in tacos and nachos after every game and practice you wouldn't feel so sluggish," Token comments.

"Like seriously Clyde, how are you still so fit? Six pack and everything, but eats like there is no tomorrow. I'm completely convinced you're a martian."

"Martian? Where did you get that from?" I ask giving Craig a weird look to which he just shrugs.

"I was watching a few clips of Marvin the Martian on youtube yesterday and that just sounded good, so yeah. A martian."

"Well atleast I eat, you're like part vampire dude," Clyde says causing Craig to furrow his nose in irritation.

"And how does that even correlate?"

Clyde gives out a long annoyed sigh, "Really? Vampires don't eat, they survive off of blood."

"Okay…" When Craig still doesn't get it Clyde throws his hands up, "Sorry, I'm not a die hard Twilight fan like you Clyde, don't get your panties in a bunch. Plus even though they don't need actual food like we do they still eat."

"And Clyde's the Twi-hard, right," Token says sarcastically.

"At least I'm don't fantasize about fucking Harry Potter's brains out," Craig laughs causing me and Clyde to give Token funny looks. And where is Jason when you need him? The guy is probably skipping lunch in the woodshop classroom.

Token raises an eyebrow in a 'are you serious' way, "Just because I enjoy the series doesn't mean I'm some sort of creep. Where did you even get that idea?"

"I dunno Token," Clyde starts, "I've seen your Harry Potter book collection."

"And I've walked in on you a couple times unhealthy stalking a J.K Rowling fan site and reading those...what are those things called fan flicks?," I pitch in just to irritate Token.

"Fan fics," Craig inputs.

"Yeah, those," I agree snapping my fingers.

Token rolls his eyes as Craig slings his arm over his shoulders, "Its okay Token, if there's something you'd like to get off your chest or out of your system we can hook you up with one of those die hard Harry Potter girls you seem to fancy as well," Craig says in a fake English accent to which Token shrugs Craig's arm off of him as the entire table erupts into laughter, except Token who just rolls his eyes as the bell rings signaling the end of lunch.

* * *

_**Clyde D.**_

"Finally," I yell in relief as Stan, I enter the locker room to get ready for practice. Another round of boring classes done with. Personally, I would rather socialize than learn about shit that I already know about. I mean it's not like I'm failing my classes or anything, I'm not overachiever, I'm just average, but I do know my shit. Well, as much as I need to know to pass my classes and keep my dad off my ass about school.

He's like a hawk always trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing and how I'm doing. God, I don't even want to think about the time we had the 'talk' last summer. Can you say Mor-ti-fy-ing. Its alright though, I know he's just doing it because he cares, but I'm sort of thinking of hooking him up with a few of my teachers.

"Same here," Stan says stretching before going over to his locker and taking out his duffle bag he put in earlier today.

I walk over to my locker and do the same as I greet fellow football players. I change quickly after hearing three bangs on the locker room door signaling us to get our fat asses outside. I change into the form-fitting practice wear we all have. With our specific last names and numbers on the back of our jerseys and spandex like matching blue, with white trim pants.

I put on my cleats and grab my black football helmet last before exiting out to the field. I sit my helmet down and with a sigh I look out at the players that have already started their fifty laps. I feel someone smack me hard on the ass and I turn around seeing Gary Harrison.

He gives me an encouraging smile before dashing off himself. I swear this guy acts like he wants a piece of my ass or somethin'. Gosh, I know I'm hot and all, but keep your fucking hands to yourself. I start my fifty laps after a threatening look from coach Mick. (That guy is not one to fucking play with trust me. My legs still ache when I bend down.)

I'm surprised Gary even wanted to come to Park County High seeing as he went to some prep-school out in Denver for all of middle school. He's nice and all, but ever since freshmen year he's been different. Maybe it's because we hadn't seen the guy in three years, but he's more cocky now. Like he knows he's the shit and that he's hot.

Which admittedly he is, but when you walk around thinking you can fuck any and everybody, it just makes you a big cock head. I've seen him lure girls and guys alike in with that sweet charm of his, but its something else to the guy. I hate being suspicious of people, and I wasn't in the beginning even with all the touching on my ass, but ever since I hung out with Christophe and Gregory at their place one day tenth grade year I've been really weary of the guy.

* * *

_..._

Just like any normal day I decide to go over to Christophe's house and do whatever. I find it cool how his mom let him buy a house of his own (A.K.A she made him promise to visit her during the summer and school breaks and agreed it was cool). He bought this house with the money he's saved over the years for his job as a mercenary right before turning eighteen and it has amazing charm to it. But I think the reason why Christophe even got a house was because of Gregory. Because really, what would a guy who doesn't cook, doesn't clean need a huge house for? Either way though the house is amazing! And I bet that it's mostly due to Gregory who tries to make the house as warm as he can by baking cookies or cooking awesome meals whenever he's not working on his college course work and especially when Christophe is out of town on business. Its a comfort thing I guess.

A grin lights up my face when I see Christophe's arms wrap around Gregory as he takes something out of the oven and effectively scaring the living daylights out of Gregory. His body visibly stiffens and he quickly sits the pan of cookies on the stove. I hide behind the kitchen opening, thankful that they hadn't spotted me yet.

"What the hell are you doing!" Gregory shouts at a smirking Christophe, "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry bout zat," Christophe replies with a shrug that didn't look the least apologetic.

"Ughhh!" Gregory yells in frustration, "Just don't do that," Gregory says more quietly a moment later after he calms down.

"Why not?" Christophe says moving closer to Gregory again, no doubt about to grab him in another bone crushing hug.

"Because, what if I would have dropped those cookies? Then I'll have to start all over again."

"zen I would 'elp make some more," Christophe moves closer behind Gregory.

"You can't even bake," Gregory says laughter evident in his voice.

"zat doesn't matter," Christophe finally wraps his arms around Gregory again, but this time Gregory isn't as tense before; he's actually relaxed, "Babe, remember who jour making 'ose cookies for."

"Christophe," Gregory says softly walking around the kitchen with Christophe still latched onto him.

"Yes," Christophe says, but it's muffled because he now has his head in the crook of Gregory's neck, giving him wet kisses there. Christophe then sniffs Gregory obnoxiously loud and smiles contently, "I want to make a cake outta jou."

I can't see Gregory's face now, but judging by the way Christophe smirks wickedly that he was blushing. Figuring I should make my appearance known I walk through the archway of the kitchen and clear my throat loudly catching their attention immediately. Gregory turns around and in the process quickly pushing Christophe away, face red all the way to the tips of his ears. Christophe's smirk widens as he faces me fully, "Clyde, how are jou my friend?"

"I'm cool," I reply before Gregory elbows me in the gut, "What was that for Greg?"

"You eavesdropping perv," Gregory says before handing Christophe and I M&amp;M cookies.

"Babe, I love jour cookies!" Christophe exclaims to which Gregory just grins smugly before following Christophe and I out of the kitchen and into the big open spaced living room.

I sit on the large leather sectional sofa and instantly lounge back. Gregory sits next to Christophe on a mocha colored love seat and lets him throw an arm behind him.

"So what's up," Gregory asks looking at me with a slight smile as I lay on my stomach facing the huge TV on top of the white french fireplace mantel .

"Nothing," I mumble.

"Zat doesn't sound like nothing," Christophe says kicking me lightly with his all black calf length combat boots that matched his black cargo shorts, a snug grey shirt and open black hoodie.

"Yeah, tell us what is wrong?" A grey and white pair of converses tap me as well, matching Gregory's light blue jeans and yellow polo shirt.

"Alright, stop with the footsie with my face," I roll onto my back, "It's Annie."

Christophe gives out a groan of irritation at Annie's very name whereas Gregory crinkles his nose in distaste, "Jou still with her?!" Christophe asks incredulously.

"Yes, but I think I'm gonna end it soon."

"Jou think so," Christophe says sarcastically with an un-amused chuckle.

"What did she do," Gregory asks finally.

"I don't know she's just been acting really weird lately. She never wants me to touch her or hangout with me outside of school functions," I sigh and when there is a long moment of silence I look up at the couple who seemed to be having a mental conversation. I clear my throat, abruptly breaking them out of whatever conversation they seemed to be having.

"Is there something you guys want to tell me?"

Both their eyes lock on me as I sit up now. Christophe looks away first before reaching into his jacket pocket for a cigarette only for Gregory to snatch the whole box out of his hand and throw it behind the loveseat.

"Okay, I think there is something you should know about Annie and," Gregory looks at Christophe again before nodding, "And Christophe is going to tell you," Gregory rushes out.

Christophe rolls his eyes to which Gregory gives a sheepish shrug, "Okay, um Clyde," I perk up a bit in anticipation, "Annie ez cheating on jou."

"What?!" I ask, now the incredulous one, "No, she couldn't be," I disagree shaking my head.

Christophe looks at Gregory with a shrug and they do that whole mind chatting thing before Christophe starts, "Look, I'm sorry-"

"No! She can't," I yell balling up my fist by my side, "Maybe she just needs some space, maybe she's going through something and she's afraid to tell me, maybe something happened to her?"

"something 'appened to her alright," Christophe says fist curling and uncurling.

"What do you mean," I ask staring hopelessly at Christophe and Gregory.

Most likely deciding to take a different approach to things Gregory asks, "Do you know Gary Harrison?"

"Yeah," I nod shortly, "So?"

"So...has he been hanging out with Annie a lot lately," I begin to shake his head before Gregory continues, "You know talking to her at football practice or after school?"

Now that I think about it Gary has been talking to most of the cheerleaders a lot, not doubt he was flirting with them too and doing-

My eyes widen a bit, "Wait, what does this have to do with Annie though," Gregory sighs and Christophe who is becoming fed up with talking about Annie moves forward in his seat despite Gregory trying to get him to relax. It's futile because he already knows Christophe doesn't like anyone messing with his friends.

"Ze marks on her neck, where did zey come from?"

"I don't know she said her cat scratched her," I say, ignoring the fact that Christophe even knew that Annie had marks on her neck. He's graduated for chrissake! But I guess that doesn't stop him from keeping tabs on people, he is a mercenary after all.

Christophe closes his eyes for a moment and opens them a second later, " 'Ose marks are not cat scratches, 'ose are finger nail marks 'nd hickies!"

"Okay, but what does that have to do with Gary!" I yell standing.

"Who do you think 'ave her 'ose marks," Christophe deadpans.

Finally it strikes me and I want nothing more than to just forget. Forget we were even having this conversation. I plop back down and just stares at the shiny glass coffee table a few feet in front of me. I am such a fucking idiot. I can't help, but feel like any idiot after not putting the pieces together. Standing up quickly I rush out of Christophe and Gregory's house and faintly process Christophe's swearing in anger on my way out, "Salope stupide putain!"

A few hours later I return to Christophe's house after calming down. After knocking on the door Gregory answers and immediately lets me inside before hugging me. Christophe walks into the foyer and he gives me a crooked smile. And just like that I realize this wouldn't be so bad. I would get over being cheated on and Annie Nelson.

_..._

* * *

Yeah, Annie cheated on me and when I confronted her about it she admitted it, but wouldn't say who. My best bet is still Gary. Christophe admitted having seen Annie and Gary together weeks ago, but found it was better if I had found out on my own. Welp, shit happens, but even though I believe Christophe I eventually want to actually hear it from the horse's mouth what the fuck he did.


	11. Old Habits Die Hard Pt 1

Old Habits Die Hard Pt.1

* * *

"You all are to write a one page paper, m'kay about your time here in detention. M'kay the paper will be collected at the end of this session. Any questions?" Mr. Mackey looks around the very large library. When no one raises their hand or says anything he continues handing out paper and tiny little pencils.

"What a load crap!" I say as Mr. Mackey sits a paper and pencil down without an eraser in front of me,

"What is this, The Breakfast Club?"

"No Eric, this is detention, m'kay. And you're here because-"

"Alright, alright, whatever, I know why I'm here," I say dismissively before picking up the short little pencil. What the fuck is this? I could totally crush this with the palm of my hand if I tried. I drop the pencil back on the table in annoyance already.

After Mr. Mackey finished handing out papers and pencils he stands to the front of the room again, "Anyone who fails to turn in a paper by the end of detention adds on another day of detention," Mr. Mackey leaves the room and the sound of the metal door closing echoes in the huge room.

**(*)**

Great. Just fucking great. I'm stuck here in detention when I could be doing a million other things. One of them being tormenting the shit out of people. I mean come the fuck on! Its a fucking Friday, and Heidi's party is tonight. That fucking bitch, hiring security to keep me out? Me?! Where the hell they do that at? Its not like she didn't deserve what I did to her.

No one knows what really happened, and what really happened is that I dumped that hoe. Yeah, she cried and what not, I felt a _little_ bad for a little bit, but that's it. All of that stuff she did that day in the halls were just plain fake and dramatic, just to make me look like an even bigger douche than I already am, which is futile if you ask me.

And the fucking cherry on top is that I'm stuck in this hell hole with two freshmen girls. One that is dead set on finishing her paper, and the second who keeps eyeing me and I'm about to take her up on her offer. And Gary Harrison. Seriously, the fuck did this guy do? I know anybody can be able to tell that Gary isn't the same Mr. 'I'm-Gullible-because-I-choose-to-be'. He still likes to play that guy card, but I'm soooo unconvinced. I mean come on you gotta do better than that, even better that he leaves marks.

Annie Nelson wasn't the only one he's fucked and fucked over there's plenty others and I'm just waiting for the day they all form some sort of 'He fucked us 'literally' club to come banging his face in. Now that'd be a sight to see, I wouldn't want to miss angry high school, college, and a couple adults giving the bastard what he deserves. But who am I to talk about what someone deserves, I'm just as bad, maybe even worst. Nah, I'm pretty convinced I'm worst.

Damn, I wish I had my phone right now. To at least see what normal people that don't have to sit in stupid detention are doing. It should be me out there, you know, enjoying life and posting shit eating smiles on facebook and instagram and tweeting out how bored I am with my awesome life. But fuck no, I'm stuck here in this shithole. Picking up the pencil I begin to write this stupid one page paper that I finish within 10 minutes tops.

Flinging the pencil god knows where in the room I kick my feet up on the medium length mahogany desk, leaning back in my chair. After at least 30 minutes pass I get this nagging feeling in my gut that someone is watching me. I brush it off to just being the girl who wants to hook up with me and close my eyes, but after probably 4 minutes it's still there.

Looking behind me I see that the girl who was staring at me earlier was now talking to the other girl about something I could really care less about. She winks at me when she sees me looking that way and I flash her a charming smile that makes her giggle and turn back to her friend. Not them then-

"Hey, do you have a fucking problem?" I ask meeting the eyes of Gary.

"No," Gary says simply, "But I suppose you do?"

"Yeah, I have a problem and it's that huge hole in your face, so if you want to keep it I suggest you close it."

"But wouldn't you rather it be _open_?" Gary says wiggling his eyebrows.

I sit up straight, letting the chair legs touch the floor, "Dude, what the fuck are you on?" I rake Gary with a disgusted glare. This ass fuck did not just try to come on to me.

Gary doesn't say anything, but grins at me, "Just stop staring at me or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Gary asks nonchalantly as he stands and makes his way over to me, "Pummel my ass, fuck me up?" Gary sits on the top of my table and smirks at me.

The actual fuck, did he just fucking tease me, and smirk at me, tauntingly at that. Who the fuck does he think he's baiting on? I'm about two seconds from ruining this guy's entire life.

"So, I heard you couldn't get in Heidi's party tonight. You are still plotting to get in aren't you?"

'_The fuck?'_ "Yeah, so what?"

"I know a way you can get in the party without Heidi or her little minions knowing."

I stare at Gary trying to figure him out. Why is he doing this, hell, why is he even talking to him right now, "No way. What's in it for you?" I automatically ask causing Gary to raise an eyebrow, smirk widening.

"Nothing."

"Bull-fucking-shit. You want something, I know you do, people like us always want something."

"People like us?" Gary asks skeptically, but smirk unwavering. I roll my eyes.

"You're not the innocent little 'I'm so nice' Gary that you used to be. You're something else."

"What?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'll find out. I always do."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Eric," Gary says causing me to arch an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I will."

"I know you may be the best at mind games like these Eric, but this code you may never crack."

Its silent for a moment in which the we just stare at each other or in my case glare at each other before Gary speaks, "So are you going to take me up on my offer?"

"Depends on what you're offering, fully offering that is," I narrow my eyes which causes

Gary to laugh, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just you're so dead set on trying to figure me out. You shouldn't stress yourself out like that."

"Whatever, but I'm not agreeing until you tell me what the fuck you want from me."

"Shh, such crude language," Gary says with a serious face only for it to break a second later and return to its amused state, "Okay, I relent. I'm really just in need of someone to talk to. Someone that can understand these crazy thoughts running through my head."

I stare at Gary as if he suddenly grew two heads, "Okay, let me get this straight. You want _me_...to be _your_ friend," I snort, "You must really be on some serious shit."

"Come on, I'm not too bad," Gary says smiling disgustingly at me, "Well, atleast I don't think so."

"Bite me asshat," I say in return, ignoring Gary smiling at me.

"Hey now, you keep throwing out suggestive terms like these, it'll never work."

"Why me," I ask becoming irritated by Gary's light hearted attitude despite me being an asshole to him.

"Why not? And like I said I feel like you may can understand me."

After another round of tense silence, I cover my face with my hands and with a groan look up at Gary, "Alright, but you're really going to have to stop staring at me, and making everything so suggestive."

"I'll try, but it's not guaranteed. Old habits die hard," Gary shrugs before smiling at me as I slam my head down on the table, face first.

"I swear if you fucking come on to me again…"

"I won't, I pinky swear," Gary says and I just lifts my head to give Gary a dull look. When Gary shows no signs of relenting I take his pinky promise.

"Okay, what's this plan of yours?" I question finally after trying to withhold myself from finding that pencil I threw and stabbing myself in the neck.

Gary clasps his hands together excitedly, "Okay, well first.."

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

* * *

**_Sharon M._**

"Hey mom."

"Hey sweetheart," I reply tiredly to Stan as he lounged on the couch watching tv. I take off my brown pea coat and hang it on the coat rack nearby before slipping off my shoes as well and sitting them near the door.

I mentally sigh just thinking about being on call, I know I'm going to get called in to work tonight. I always do. Hell's Pass is always busy Friday nights.

And being a nurse just makes it harder, well a nurse that actually cares and enjoys her job. I sit on the sofa next to Stan and try to rest for a minute and get the feeling back in my sore and numb feet from standing and running around all day. I don't mind though I'm use to it, it's just part of the job that all nurses have to endure.

I sigh contently at the soft cushions, not really paying attention to what Stan is watching and smile when he wraps an arm around my shoulder and mushes his face close to mine in a one arm hug. He is so warm, such a cutie pie. Him and Shelly are my reminder everyday for why I do what I do from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I fall asleep at night.

During the second time Randy and I split when Stan was 10 and Shelly 13 I decided to go back to school. I took online classes at Colorado State University and completed all the way up to my bachelors of science degree in nursing. During that time I worked full time at Tom's Rhinoplasty to make income and be able to support my education as well as my children's.

Now I just work half-time at the clinic and full-time at Hell's Pass. Even though I don't need to work 2 jobs now that Randy and I are back together and he makes a hefty amount as a geologist I like occupying my time with things I enjoy.

I kiss Stan's head before they pull away, "What're you watching," I asks Stan who is still staring intently at the tv screen.

"Just a re-run of last nights Terrance and Phillip. Waiting for some more promo on when Asses of Fire 4 is coming out."

I nod before asking, "How was your day?"

"Alright, how was yours?"

"Good as usual." Lie. We had four close calls today because two of the doctors felt the need to hook up with each other twice in the same day_._

"That's great mom," Stan says smiling at me before returning his attention to the tv. I pat his head before standing and walking in the kitchen.

Going over to the cupboards I began looking for something to cook only to notice a yellow sticky note on the counter. In Randy's small chicken scratch writing it says, _'Sharon, I made dinner already. Its in the oven.'_ I open the oven and see that Randy made a chicken alfredo casserole and also another sticky note. This one says, _'We need to talk :-)'_ I slightly stiffen as I read the small underlined words, even though he drew a smiley face at the end I still have a tightening in my gut.

Why should I even feel this way? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Aren't I supposed to be leaving notes for him to find so we could talk? No. This is strange and out of the ordinary for Randy. Balling up the yellow note and the one that was attached to the countertop I throw them both in the trash bin. With a sigh I try to think about this week's events. What could make Randy actually want to to _talk_ because the last thing on my mind right now is _talking_ with Randy.

**(*)**

I turn the stove on to heat the food up and when it's done and I have set everything up I call Stan to the table to eat. We eat and I hear about both Stan's day and I tell him about min and after dinner I facetime Shelly so she can tell me about her day. Shelly is very excited that her and her boyfriend Casey are going to some festival next weekend. I smile at her enthusiasm and the way her eyes light up at the mention of Casey.

Even though Shelly was young when her crush Larry Feegan died she still carried that heart break with her through her teens. She would date other people, but none of those relationships ever worked out. When Shelly met Casey freshmen year at Colorado State they started out as friends, but eventually Casey began to break through Shelly's defenses and I've never seen my little shell look so happy! Casey is a really nice guy that we all like and likes Shelly for who she is and they are still going strong during their sophomore year.

I express my enthusiasm at being able to see her later on tonight whenever she makes it after her last class. I remind myself to call her to check in later if I have to go back into work tonight.

Around 8:30 I retreat to my room and Stan mentions something about going out later. In the confines of my room I immediately head to the bathroom and run a hot soothing bath for myself. Once the water is ready I get in and sink in to my shoulders, my muscles instantly relax. After 30 well needed minutes in the tub I get out and dress in my white with pink trim night gown and curl up on the bed with a book I've been dying to read.

When I'm sure an hour has passed and I feel myself dozing off even though it's 9:20 I remove my glasses and sit them on the nightstand along with my book. Throwing my legs over the bed, I stand up to turn the lights out only for the door to open.

"Randy," I say a little surprised before moving back so he can enter.

"Hi Sharon," Randy kisses me on the cheek softly before walking inside the room."Did you get my notes." He asks sitting on the bed.

"Yes," I say looking away and giving a small nod even though Randy couldn't see it.

Randy doesn't change out of his clothes and into his usual pair of plaid navy pajama pants before going into the bathroom and brushing his teeth. And I ignore the itch I have to ask him where he's going tonight.

I just sit on the bed still trying to figure out what Randy wants to talk about. Was it something I did? Probably, maybe this is how all guys feel when their wives suddenly want to 'talk'. I frown. Watching as Randy gargles I get the impression that Randy is trying to prolong this. Maybe he's thinking of something to say?

Finally Randy shuts off the bathroom light and sits on the bed next to me. Seeing my frown Randy asks, voice laced in concern, "Are you okay shar?"

"Yes, um what is it you want to talk about?"

"Oh, yeah, talk," Randy says rubbing the back of his neck. Really, did he seriously forget what he wrote on that sticky note?"Well, Sharon I love that you're working so hard and that you are doing the things that you enjoy. And you know that whatever makes you happy makes me happy as well, but-"

Here it comes, I wait patiently for the blow, "I think we really need to have sex."

I freeze. Did I just hear that right? "What?"

Randy closes his eyes like it's hurting him more just to continue, "I'm...feeling disconnected from you. We need to spend some time together, just the two of us."

I can't believe her own ears. What?! "Why?" I decide to ask.

Randy gives an un-amused laugh, "Sharon we don't spend anytime with each other anymore. All we do is sleep in the same bed and even then," Randy looks pained again, "You don't even want to cuddle or anything."

My mind is still riddling out of control, but my mouth at least seems to be working as I touch my palm to Randy's face, "I'm sorry. I know we've been kind of separate lately. And I know how hard it is for you to even tell me so, but...I'm not really in the mood for sex right now."

Randy looks like a sad kicked puppy which makes my heart clench and almost reconsider, but it only lasts for a moment before Randy nods and kisses my cheek before kissing me back and standing.

I stand after Randy leaves and turn out the light getting in on my side. Before I fall asleep I stare at the empty spot next to me. I ghost my hand over the exact spot where Randy would lay and I imagine watching his back as it slowly rises and falls signaling him being in a deep sleep. Most nights I just wonder what he thinks about. How warm he feels when I would touch my flat palm upon his back. '_If only you knew...I want to, so bad, but I just don't know how to tell you…'_ I would whisper in his ear, but he wouldn't hear me, he never does.


	12. Old Habits Die Hard Pt 2

Old Habits Die Hard (pt.2)

* * *

**_Tweek T._**

"We be all night, love~love~ we be all night, love~, love~!"

"I'm never tired, never tired, been sippin, that's the only thing that's keeping me on fire, me on fire~"

"You know this song would sound a lot more better if you just let Beyonce sing it. Not you."

I roll my eyes at Token's comment, but stop singing and take the lone earbud from my right ear and in the process I my sock covered foot at Token.

Funnily enough, I nabbed these black cat littered socks from Ruby yesterday at Craig's place because I thought they looked cool. Although it does nothing to match my burgundy beanie, green pullover hoodie on top of my black shirt, dark blue jean knee length shorts and black and white Vans that are discarded somewhere around the room.

Token just bats my feet away and continues to thumb through his phone as he sits next to me on the long mancini dark brown/beige sectional sofa in his room. Token decided to wear an imaginary foundation baseball tee shirt, white skinny jeans, and black and white matching Nikes. And he looks Immaculate as always.

Sitting up I look over Token's shoulder and ask before popping a dorito in my mouth, "Whatcha doing?"

"Telling Clyde to meet us at the party and letting Heidi know we'll be there to pre-game," I whine unashamedly. Who even came up with pre-gaming? Someone who wanted to get wasted before an acceptable time that's who.

"What do you mean _we_?" A new voice says causing me to turn around, and instantly regret it a second later.

I can't believe this douchebag. Leaning on the door to Token's room is Craig wearing a black beanie, a Dravus West black and white stars tank top underneath a leather black jacket with a connected hood, black jeans, and all black Vans with the white stars printed on the backstays. Perfect. Craig just had to look stunning as _always_. The guy loves his clothes and it shows.

When he notices me staring at him, his tongue flicks out at his silver lip ring with a smirk. Fuck! Turning away from Craig I try to will away the boner that's promising its appearance any moment now.

"I promised Heidi we would come over to pre-game with her," Token says shrugging at Craig as he sits on the left arm of the sofa. Does he not notice how amazeballs Craig looks right now or is it just me?

"Again, what's with the 'we' I didn't give you my consent," Craig says being a brat and making Token roll his eyes.

See Craig's being a brat right now because he doesn't like pre-gaming. Meaning he doesn't like showing up early, He'd rather prefer to show up fashionably late, even though he'd punch me if he heard me mention it as so.

Best bet though is that Token promised he'd help Heidi pre-game just to be nice and hang out with Nicole who also agreed to help pre-game at Heidi's party. But me? I could really careless, but even though I'll usually be game...I'm kinda feeling like coming later.

"You don't have to come," Token says finally as he slides his phone in his pocket.

"No, I want to know why you would promise to even go pre-gaming in the beginning. We never pregame." Jeez why does everything always have to have some ulterior motive with Craig? Why is he so suspicious lately.

"He wants to hangout with his girlfriend dude. Get off his back," I stand and find my shoes by one of the large floor to ceiling windows and slip them on, "Why are you so suspicious, chill out."

"I am," Craig says dismissively, and I glare at him.

"No, you're not." Fucking liar.

"Why are you being so pissy Craig?" Token asks, eyebrows furrowing together in annoyance as he continues to stare at the screen of his Iphone.

"I'm not pissy," Craig says sounding like a tee'd off pup, "I'm just pissed-"

"That's the same thing," I roll my eyes, "Just shut up and go somewhere else," I say waving my hand idly around the room, "You don't have to pre-party at Heidi's." I don't want to fucking pre-game, but if it means having to stick it out with Craig then I'll happily hop into Token's car.

"I'm not saying I won't pre-game!" Craig says sounding like a defiant shit head.

"Then what are you saying, crazy?!" I yell, now facing Craig.

"I'm saying, who the fuck gave anyone permission to just decide what the rest of us does?" Craig grits out, eyebrows arching slightly at me, "If he wants a fuck then he shouldn't involve us in it."

"Just shut up Craig, you're not making any sense,"I say finally, "You're being a bitch. No one decided anything, he was just suggesting we help pre-game."

"Are you his fucking voice now?" Craig says in irritation.

Suddenly Token stands between both Craig and I before shrugging nonchalantly and walking out of the open bedroom door, leaving me and Craig by the doorway.

A few moments pass where we both just keep glaring at each other in annoyance before I finally yell out in frustration, "Wait, Token I'm coming with you!" and practically break my legs going down the hallway to the balcony of the pristine white stairs.

"What?!" Craig asks racing after me and trying to drag me back.

We tussle for a moment before I elbow Craig in the chin causing the brunette to let me go. I scramble down the stairs only to tumble down the last few _aching _steps when Craig cleverly jumps upon my thin frame. We both eventually land at Token's feet and continue to fight along the marble white floor. With a sigh Token exits the house.

A couple minutes goes by and I escape Craig's clutches again. Getting to my feet I ignore Craig and before he could even begin to to open his mouth a familiar hum of a car sounds faintly in the foyer. Rushing towards the large double doors I fling one wrought iron door open and notice Token's white range rover sport leaving in the distance.

"Fuck!" I run a hand over my face as I stand in the doorway. My body instantly stiffens as I feel Craig's body push against my backside. And as the annoying and drop dead sexy chuckle resonates in my ear I've never wanted to kill and fuck someone so badly.

"Looks like you're stuck with me," Craig speaks, "I guess today would've been a great day to actually drive your own car and not bum a ride from your friend."

I clench my fists at my sides in preparation to hit Craig square in the eye. And I do.

Ignoring Craig's brief yelp of pain I storm off, ignoring the burning of in my hand (It's not broken, but it stings like hell) and going somewhere I don't really care as long as it's away from Craig. Asshole.

* * *

"Alright, see ya later Sam," I shout in the back as I wipe my hands on a old red cloth before throwing it somewhere in the auto shop. I nod to myself as I hear my boss's voice telling me to get the hell outta here already. I chuckle to myself, "Alright, old man." Till this day I can't believe he let what he calls a 'snot nose brat' like myself even work here. Its just something that I've always been interested in so when I heard about a job opening up I went for it. It was incredibly rare that I even got the job because I was just starting high school and I had next to no degree and experience, but once I showed him what I can do and how much I wanted the experience he hired me on the spot.

Exiting the auto shop I see a familiar white bmw x6 with spinout gloss black with pink face rims. Walking towards it I gets inside, sliding into the passenger seat. Immediately my nostrils are infiltrated by the smell of pineapples.

"Hey babe," Bebe greets before quickly backing out of the parking space and out of the parking lot.

"Hey," I greet back and give her a kiss on her cheek and grin as her face scrunches up in disgust.

"Okay, okay, you're all greasy Ken," Bebe says quickly.

"I know, and you're wet," I say looking at Bebe in confusion.

"Oh, I went pre-gaming with Red at Heidi's and some genius decided to take out the hose and squirt us with water."

"You have no idea how wrong that just sounded," I say trying not to laugh at Bebe's words, but fail at Bebe's little impish shrug at the realization of her words.

"Atleast I wouldn't be soaked-" Bebe stopped again and sticks her tongue out, "Screw it," We both burst into laughter.

"Its okay Bebe, you're sexually frustrated. It happens," I say with a impish shrug of my own.

"Pssh, I am not sexually frustrated. I'm just-you're just taking everything the wrong way."

"I take _everything_ the wrong way."

Bebe doesn't say anything to that, but asks, "Do you want me to drop you at home because I gotta go home and change."

"Uh, sure," I agree and that's the last thing we say conversational wise. We both sing to the radio the rest of the way and enjoy each others company. Once Bebe's car comes to a stop in my empty driveway I begin to exit, but Bebe grabs my arm and gives me a 'look'.

Taking the hint I nod, a knowing grin gracing my lips as we both exit. I take out my keys and open the door, we both step inside and Bebe is immediately all over me. I am only able to break apart for a second as Bebe kisses my neck.

Listening for any sign of a TV being on or a stereo and finding nothing I immediately pull Bebe upstairs. Bebe pushes against my bedroom door causing it to open from not being fully closed and I shut it with my foot before she leads me to my bed. Pushing me down on the bed Bebe straddles my waist and bites my earlobe and I've finally had enough of this torture.

Flipping our positions I flip Bebe onto her back and stand, pulling off my white T-shirt and removing my faded blue jeans along with my shoes. Bebe stares at me as she bites her lip invitingly.

I quickly help Bebe unbuckle her short jean cutoffs as she removes her soaked white tank top revealing her hot pink bra underneath. She pulls down her matching pink panties painfully slow, teasing me. Fuck. She bites her lip once again before letting them pool at her ankles and drop to the floor.

I don't bother undoing Bebe's bra as she pushes it up completely revealing herself. I don't hesitate to free myself from the confines of my black and maroon striped boxer briefs. I hover above Bebe, tease her a bit, getting her ready to take me. I don't stop until she's clawing at my back before entering in one swift motion, Bebe's breathy moans filling my bedroom.

Thirty minutes later I'm lying in my bed as Bebe gets dressed. Arm behind my head as I watch as she pulls her shorts on over her panties. I close my eyes in a content sigh. When Bebe is fully dressed I open my eyes once I feel her lips against mine.

"Thanks for that," She says with a small smirk playing on her lips.

She'd better stop. The way she's looking at me, I can feel myself steadily hardening again from the thought of dragging her back onto the bed and going for round two. As Bebe slides on her shoes, she just looks so fuckable, so gorgeous. I will never understand why no one wants to date Bebe.

She's a pretty awesome girl. She can hang with the guys when it comes to drinking and eating (even went head to head with Cartman). She's hilarious and clearly a good fuck. I'm brought out of my mind at the tug on the steel dog tag around my neck and Bebe kisses me on the head before leaving and I can't help, but wonder why haven't I officially taken Bebe onto my arm.

We haven't even went on a real date before. We kind of just fuck and are there for each other whenever. She's the perfect buddy...but I just don't know what it is about her or rather me that just hesitates. I know she hasn't been the same since...Kyle, but that's beside the point. Suddenly I feel guilty about this entire situation. This has been happening for a while now every time I actually think about making things official with Bebe. Everytime. I know I don't want anything permanent right now, but is it wrong to still deep down hope that I will one day be ready. Ready to really let someone...love me and let myself love them.

* * *

_**Ruby T.**_

'_Hi, you've reached Ike Broflovski! Leave your name and number and hopefully I will be able to return your call.' Beep!_

I press the end button on my phone for what feels like the hundredth time. I run my fingers through my messy red hair before sighing and putting it in a sloppy bun on top of my head.

"Still no answer," I say kicking my feet up on the hot pink coffee table in front of me.

I look beside me at Karen who has her nose in a book at this very moment when I'm mentally freaking out here! "Kare," I whine trying to get Karen's attention. Karen reluctantly pulls her eyes away from her English book and stares at me.

"What?"

"Are you even listening to me?!"

"Yes."

"Then why aren't you freaking out?" I ask incredulously.

"Because, there is nothing to freak out about. You called him way too many times, he didn't answer _way too many _times. He's clearly avoiding you."

"Humph," I shrug, "Maybe his phone is on silent."

"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that," Karen mumbles causing me to suck in a breath in shock, but instead of being irritated I punch Karen on the arm.

With a smirk I ask slowly, "What?"

"Oh, nothing," Karen says in fake niceness, knowing I heard her.

"Oh, I don't think it was nothing," I say, standing and facing Karen causing Karen's eyebrows to raise.

"Don't you dare," Karen says in preparation.

I chuckle, "I'm gonna."

"No-" Karen didn't have the chance to finish before I pounce on her in the beginnings of a tickle war.

"Stop! S-stop," Karen says, but I don't care to listen and eventually we both fall in a heap onto the soft white carpeted floor of my bedroom.

"Ow, Ruby!" Karen complains while rubbing the back of her head while straddling me.

"Atleast I'm not the one with the fat ass."

"Hey! My ass is not fat," I shrug impishly at Karen's mock offended look. What? Girl's got ass.

"I beg to differ," A new voice says causing both of us to turn our head to the person standing in my doorway, "You actually have a well rounded backside with just enough thickness to put a guy like me to bed. And even five shots of vodka couldn't do that."

"Told ya," I say sticking my tongue out and wiggling it at Karen.

"Whaddya want Filmore?" Karen asks pushing up from me.

"Here to see us make out?" I ask taking Karen's hand and standing up.

"Though that would be _so_ awesome, I'm afraid I'm here to deliver some news."

"What's that? You finally nailed Flora or did she somehow change her mind?" Karen says rolling her eyes.

"Why so interested little Mccormick? Would you like to learn how to drive stick."

"Ew no."

"I don't know maybe you are interested," Filmore says moving closer to Karen.

"Down puppy, you know Karen's just being a lil shit," I say laying upside down on my hot pink canopy bed while holding one of my pink dumbbells in hand, careful not to chip my turquoise painted nails I got done yesterday after school.

"Yeah," Filmore says, but not sounding so convinced, "Maybe," He says staring at Karen before grinning and causing his dimples to show as he runs a hand through his dark hair.

"Any reason you're still here?" Karen asks sitting back in her former spot on the cute hot pink sofa.

"Just to visit my dear friend Ruby," I continue to pump the dumbbell in the ar steadily.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I've missed your bright and shining face."

"You just saw her literally four hours ago-"

"But I also wanted to know if you'd hook me up with Beth Frankleston."

I chuckle as I continue to work out as Karen scrunches up her nose in distaste, "Frankleston huh?" I acknowledge before unceremoniously dropping the dumbbell on the floor and sitting up, "You must like 'em crazy."

"What can I say, crazy girls are amazingly good in the sack."

"You do know she kicked her last boyfriend's ass right. In front of his parents," Karen adds skeptically.

I raise an eyebrow in an 'are you sure' way at Filmore to which he nods slightly, " I'll talk to her, sure." I agree. Alright then.

"Cool, then I'll see you guys tonight."

"What's tonight," Karen asks boredly.

"You guys don't know," Filmore asks slowly.

"Know what," I question folding my arms over my purple hearts scattered shirt.

"There's gonna be a huge party tonight at some girl named Heather? Emma's house tonight. Anybody that's anybody is going to be there. Filmore smirks once again, "But seeing how you just found out, I guess you're both...are nobodies."

"We are not nobodies. We heard about the party, we just didn't know which one you were talking about."

"Oh, really now?"

"Yeah, in fact, my brother invited us."

"Craig Tucker. The boy who smashed Josh Meyers' head open in juvenile hall last year. _The_ infamous Craig Tucker invited his baby sister to a party where there's gonna be a lot of sex, drugs and alcohol present.

"Yup," I agree accenting the P.

Filmore narrows his eyes skeptically before shrugging carelessly, "Alright, well I'll see you two there."

"Wait," I call quickly causing Filmore to halt in his steps.

"What?"

"I never told you what I wanted in return for hooking you up with Natasha."

"Beth." Filmore corrects.

"Who cares."

"HA!" Karen laughs as she continues to flip through the gossip magazine carelessly.

"I want you to," I continue, and quickly glance at Karen, "Hook Karen up with someone."

"WHAT?" Both Karen and Filmore shout simultaneously. I'm loving this already.

"That's the deal," I lean back against my huge bed, "Take it or leave it." Yeah, I'm being a shit right now, it's my forte.

"No," Karen protests, "Him hooking _me_ up on a date," Karen starts incredulously, "First ew, second I don't even want to date anyone."

"Yeah right Kare. Ever since we became high school freshmen, you've been eyeballing all those football jocks."

"No, I haven't," Karen protests weakly.

"Plus, who better than to find you a date then the guy who's slept with all of the freshmen class himself."

"That's exactly the point. How is _he _gonna get me a date when he'll do anything for sex. He doesn't know the meaning of dating let alone having an actual relationship with someone-"

"Deal," Filmore says interrupting Karen's tirade.

My smirk widens, "Shake on it," I offer a lazy hand.

"Only if you'll help."

"You're horrible, get out of my room Filmore," I throw a plush silk hot pink pillow at him which he quickly dodges. Football has been good to him. Fast reflexes and all that.

Filmore looks at Karen before exiting, "Where something, you normally wouldn't."

As soon as Filmore's gone I squeal like a four year old, bouncing over to Karen, "Omigosh, we are going to a par-ty, we are going to a par-tay!" I sing before reality sets in for my ass, "Oh my god, we are going to our first ever high school party! What are we gonna wear, how am I gonna wear my hair, what shoes am I-"

"I'm not going." Karen interrupts, busting my bubble.

"What, Kare, please. You've got to! It's our first ever real party. With really cute boys and...girls _and_ it's our first _real_ party! Not the backyard, balloon animals and parent approved 'music' parties where everyone just stands against the walls. This is gonna be...awesome."

"No, I'm perfectly content not going."

"Please Kare."

"No."

"Kare~" I try in a singsong tone.

"No~" Karen answers back.

"Pwease, I can't go without my bestest friend in the whole wide world! I need you Kare," I pout, giving Karen full on puppy eyes.

"Ugh," Karen moans in irritation after a few moments of me just staring at her with wide pleading eyes,

"Fine. Just stop looking at me like that."

"Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!" I rush out. She couldn't resist me.

"No problem." Karen mocks my earlier pouting voice, "You _are_ my bestest frwend in the whole wide world."

I pinch Karen on the thigh, "Bitch."

"Whore," Karen says slapping my right hip with a small smile. "But how are we gonna get in. Because Craig didn't really invite you and Kenny's damn sure not gonna even let me set foot outside of the house if he knew what we are planning."

"Simple, We sneak out, seeing as my mom's working late tonight and my dad is having one of his poker nights down in the basement. Then we'll just have to check twitter or instagram and boom, we'll have a good sense of where this party is located because I mean this is South Park, how hard could it be to find where this 'house party' is."

"What if it's in North Park?"

"We gotta stay optimistic, but if so...looks like we'll have to bum a ride from someone."

"Who do we know that isn't an adult and aren't most likely to tell our brothers on us?"

"Georgie."

"Okay...but," Karen says hesitantly, "Last time we were in his car we almost died."

I grimace at the memory, "Road rage at its finest."

"How is he even allowed to drive?"

"He's not, he only has a permit."

"What?"

"Yeah, but who's gonna stop him? Officer Barbrady doesn't care as long as he doesn't hit anything...or anybody."

"Christ."

"But that's plan B."

"Got a plan C?"

"These heels were made for walkin…"

"Okay," Karen smiles at my song reference, I can tell she's starting to feel better about our plans. Standing we both begin to search for suitable high school party outfits.

**(*)**

After checking Twitter and Instagram and even Facebook we get the address for the party. Now Karen and I are just staring in the mirror at the outfits we picked out in awe. Karen gawked at my outfit when I first showed her which just consists of high waisted frayed hem bleach denim shorts, a black tank top underneath one of Craig's open black and red plaid shirts (that I had to roll the sleeves all the way up to my elbows) and black chunky heel booties. With a silver zig zag necklace and a pair of aviator sunglasses pushed through my wavy hair to finish.

Taking in Karen's outfit, that I picked out (with her approval of course) made me even more excited for this party. I can tell by the slight twitching of her fingers that she was trying to stop herself from pulling down on the grape colored sara slash neck crop top to hide her bare tummy. To match she is wearing black denim tube shorts, the gold curve necklace she got for her birthday last year. Bending down she adjusts the laces of her black calf length combat boots, but I know she just did that out of nervosity. I let her retie her boots as I do the finishing touches to her messy bun on top of her head, silently hoping everything goes smoothly.

"We look...so hot," I complement doing a full spin in my full length mirror that hangs on my closet door.

Karen furrows her eyebrows together as she glares at the mirror in front of her, "But how are we going to get out of the house without anyone from your dad's poker night seeing us?"

"Simple," I open my closet door wider and reveal two black trench coats.

"And why do you have trench coats in your closet?"

"Because I've always wanted a reason to dress up like a detective. Like I was on some mission only I knew about."

Karen raises a curious eyebrow, "And my trusty sidekick. So here," I hand Karen a trench coat. "Suit up."

**(*)**

Ten minutes later both Karen and I are inching closer and closer to the front door, trying to make as little sound as possible despite the soft clacking of our boots on the shiny wooden floor in the foyer. As Karen wraps her fingers around the door knob a voice causes both of us to halt in our steps.

"Where do you think you're going," Sounds the nonchalant voice of Thomas Tucker. He looks between both Karen and I with bored interest despite the clear curiosity of his words.

I would have outright laughed at the situation because of both us standing in the foyer wearing long trench coats and my dad holding a can of beer in one hand and a huge bowl of chips in the other, "We are just going to Pattie's house," I lie, hoping the slight shake in my voice doesn't resonate.

"Whose Pattie?"

"Just some girl. We were just gonna watch movies."

After a moment in which my dad just stares at us before taking a casual sip of his cold beer, "Oh," he says in acknowledgement, "Are you girls planning on sleeping over?"

"Probably, but we may come back if it's not too late."

"Okay." My dad walks away and as we hear his footsteps descend into the basement we both let out a breath of relief before Karen flings the front door open and we leave. I close the door tightly before we remove our trench coats. We discard the coats near the side of the house behind my mom's large rose bushes before walking down the driveway. And I make a mental note to myself to remember to collect the coats when I get back home. Karen takes out her phone and pulls up the saved address to the party and types it in her phone's GPS. Not wasting any more time we begin walking to what is our first ever high school party.

* * *

I Glance at the digital clock on my dashboard after I park my car by the side of Heidi's house. Its 9:45. I step out and straighten my plain white t shirt that I'm wearing underneath an Edwin blue dots shirt. To match I'm wearing black jeans, a pair of high top sneakers and a blue and silver sports watch. I adjust the burgundy beanie on my head as I head straight to the front door. Security my ass. From outside I can hear the loud thumping of music and the sounds of drunk laughter from inside. Opening the door I'm immediately assaulted by the blasting music full on, and people greeting me with hugs, casual handshakes or fist bumps, and the slight nod in acknowledgement.

"Stan, you tosser, the party started at eight," Heidi playfully pushes my shoulder.

"That's why I showed up an hour later," I give her a half hug before being enveloped in a hug by Bebe.

"Yeah, no one ever comes on time," Wendy agrees as she makes her way towards me.

"Hey babe," I greet, leaning down to kiss Wendy on the lips as she wraps her arms around my neck.

"Nice outfit," Wendy compliments touching my soft medium length quiff that slightly fans over my eyes.

"You look...so hot," I tell Wendy, eyeing her shamelessly. Wendy wore a short sleeved white shirt with 'hakuna matata' printed on the front, dark wash high waisted blue jeans, matching beanie and wedge sneakers. Her pin straight hair looks amazing in the dim lighting of Heidi's foyer.

"Thanks," Wendy says touching my cheek lightly.

Soon both of us are interrupted by Clyde who already seems to have had more than a few drinks in him already, "Stan, my man. How's it going?"

"What's up Clyde," Wendy rolls her eyes as both Clyde and I give our usual handshake.

"How long you've been here?"

"Since seven to help set up and do a little pre-gaming. But you're as fashionably late as usual."

"Not as 'fashionably' late as Craig will be."

"Yeah, he just texted me, he should be here in about half an hour at the latest."

"Where is everyone?"

"Shit if I know," Clyde says as he smoothly takes the red cup out of a passing girl's hand and drinks from it before giving it back. All without glancing twice at the girl. She blushes cherry before scurrying to tell her friends about what happened. Freshmen. "I saw Token and Kevin Stoley in the kitchen somewhere, but I was about to head over to the beer pong table," Clyde half smiles, "You up for a game?"

Always up for a game, "Yeah, sure."

Before I can follow Clyde over to where a group of girls and guys are crowded around playing beer pong Wendy stops me with her hand on my arm, "What's up?" I ask, trying not to let my eyes wander away from her face, to other places...

"Just take it easy tonight, okay?"

I like that Wendy cares, but it's a party, and not my first one, so instead of being irritated I wrap my arm around Wendy's waist "Awww babe," I coo at Wendy, "Always so worried about lil ole' me."

"I'm serious Stan."

"I know Wens, but don't worry, I'm not even trying to get trashed tonight. I'll pace myself promise, okay?" Wendy nods and lets me kiss her cheek before walking away.

* * *

"Did you finish all of your homework today Butters?"

"Yes mom," I reply curtly.

"That's nice Butters."

"Well, me and your mother are gonna close in for the night and I expect you to the same soon."

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight." My mom runs her tired fingers through my blonde locks as she passes me on her way upstairs, closely followed by my dad.

After the soft thump of my parent's door closing I let out a tired sigh. Pulling my phone out of my light blue pajama pants pocket I check the time. 10:00. There's no way I'm going anywhere at this point. Heidi's party is probably in full swing by now. I try not to let myself dwell on it any longer and go upstairs to just go to bed. Closing my door softly behind me I go over to my light blue bed and land face first on the soft covers. With a small groan I eventually flip onto my back and close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep. Only to be scared half to death by a loud tapping on my window. Jerking up straight I turn around facing the window seeing Kenny perched outside my window. Quickly getting up before my parents take notice I open the window letting Kenny in.

"Kenny, what are you doing here," I ask softly as I wrap my arms around myself from the onslaught of the cool breeze coming from the open window.

"Sneaking you out," Kenny says simply.

"What? No. W-we can't just climb out of my window."

"Why not?"

"My parents are right next door and I don't think I'll hear the end of it if they saw me climbing out of my bedroom window when I'm supposed to be grounded."

"Butters do you wanna go party tonight or be the good parent abiding son who's gonna miss one of the first parties of the school year?"

"Okay...but just be quiet while I change."

"No problem," Kenny says as he goes to lounge against my light blue headboard with white squiggly lines designed around it, "No problem at all," Kenny says sultrily and I feel his eyes watching me as I strip my pajama pants revealing light blue hello kitty boxer briefs, "Nice underwear, by the way."

I blush to the tip of my pale ears, but continue to change into white ripped jeans, throwing a Wildfox tie dye shirt over my head and sliding my sock covered feet into a pair of white converses.

"Really Butters?"

"What?" I ask confused at Kenny's raised eyebrow.

"I say we're gonna sneak out and you wear the boldest colors."

"I guess I underestimated your 'sneaking' abilities then," I say a bit sarcastically. I can't help it I'm nervous right now and a bit happy that Kenny really came through for me.

"No, its fine. You know I'm just fucking with you, cutie." Kenny stands with a stretch and I actually see's what Kenny wore, which contrasts greatly to my bright clothing. The moonlight illuminates Kenny's dark grey crew neck, dark acid wash jeans and black vans, "Alright I'll hop down first."

"How did you even get up here?"

Kenny smirks lightly, "You can't know all my secrets," he says before quickly hopping out and landing on his knees gracefully like some sort super hero before standing back up quickly and looking up at me.

I hesitate because although I do yoga on a daily basis I'm not nowhere near as agile as Kenny is. And honestly I don't wanna bust my head on the way down. Kenny waves his hand encouragingly, but I'm stiff as a popsicle stick. After slowly counting to three in my head I jump. And land right on my bum.

"Are you okay?" Kenny asks as he quickly helps me up and helps dust grass off of my pants. I bite my lip as his fingers run over my waist.

"Yeah," I say a little breathlessly as we begin walking over to a car. "Whose car?" I eye the Ford F150 parked next to my the house.

"Kevin's he's up here for the weekend to visit from college and he said I could take it."

"When do ya' think you're gonna get your car back?" I ask as we both get inside.

"Should be done in a couple weeks. I'm putting some new stuff inside, just gotta wait for the rest of the materials."

"I think it's real cool how you know how to work on cars Kenny. You're real talented."

"Thanks Butters," Kenny chuckles before starting up the truck and quickly taking off.

I blush as Kenny steers the car with one hand while he uses his other to ruffle my cropped hair fondly.

"Have you told anyone else of your plans for school?" I ask because I'm curious on where Kenny's mind is at.

"No, just you and Bebe."

"Do you want anyone else to know? I think it's okay to let your friends know what you plan on doing once school is over."

"Maybe. Its just that," Kenny turns a corner before glancing at me, "People don't really expect more of me. They don't think I have goals or think of anything other than-"

"_I _expect more of you," I blurt because I can tell Kenny was becoming frustrated, "I believe you are capable and worth more than just alcohol, drugs and bullshit parties."

Kenny nods, but doesn't reply. A few minutes later as I'm staring out the passenger side window I feel Kenny's hand squeezing my thigh, but I don't look down.

* * *

Almost an hour into the party and I've had about three vodkas mixed with lemonade and whatever concoction Jason created consisting of peach ciroc, lemon juice and rum. Everyone's standing around dancing and cheering as the game of pool between me and Pete Melman becomes more interesting. Pete throws another twenty down on the side of the pool table. "Raising the ante?" I acknowledge as I sink another strip ball into a hole.

There are only a few balls left and we are betting a hundred dollars at this point, "Scared yet Marsh?" Pete asks as he sinks one of his solid balls into a hole.

"Never," I reply as I angle the pool stick and shoot, sinking two balls into different holes. The people around us cheer and I shoot a winning grin at Pete.

As I lean against the pool table as Pete takes his turn and look around the room at the wild dancing girls, grinding and twerking on guys and other girls who seemed to not know what to do but grind back to the beat of _I Endorse these Strippers_ blasting from the speakers. The sound of Pete sinking one of his balls brings me from my thoughts and I smirk taking my last shot, bringing the game to an end, and ignoring the slamming of the pool stick in front of me. I take the money accumulated and split it in half, giving Pete the other half.

Pete looks at me skeptically, but I hand him the money anyway, patting him on the shoulder, "Good game," Pete nods and then walks over to talk to a few winking girls.

I hand my pool stick to the next guy and go to the kitchen to get another drink, but as I step foot in the kitchen, cold hands cover my eyes, "Guess who," The deep and raspy voice whispers in his ear. From the cool metal rings pressing onto my eyelids I know exactly who it is.

"Craig," I say as the guy removes his hands.

"Sup dude, how are you?" Craig greets.

"Cool, just finished a game of pool. You just got here?" I ask as I refill my cup.

"Yeah," Craig takes the cup out of my hand and throws it back.

I grin and push Craig's shoulder before noticing the shiner he's sporting, "Dude, what happened to your face?"

Craig rolls his eyes in remembrance of what happened earlier, "Tweek," He says before reaching over to refill the cup.

"Wow, what'd you do to piss him off?" Craig throws me a smirk, "Still trying to get Tweek in bed I see. Dude, does Tweek even like guys?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, not really, but be cool."

"I'm trying, but lately I've just been wanting to fuck the shit out of the guy."

"All you guys have been doing the past few weeks is argue."

"Exactly," Craig throws back a shot of tequila, "I love a hottie with a smart fucking mouth on em'."

"You and me both." I agree.

"What's this I hear about hotties?" A new voice questions jokingly.

"Hey, Ken," Both Craig and I greet as Kenny comes striding through with Butters in tow.

"Sup' Butters, thought you were grounded?" I ask as Butters fist bumps Craig.

"I was, well still am-"

"You snuck out?" Craig asks curiously looking at Butters.

"Yup," Kenny answers proudly as he grabs a cup and starts mixing a few drinks inside.

"I remember my first time sneaking out, scared as shit, but it felt so fucking liberating," I say. Now my parents don't really care as much as long as I make curfew on school nights or call if I'm staying over somewhere else.

As I make me another drink (that wouldn't be stolen by Craig) I can hear someone screech to turn the music higher to whoever is the DJ tonight does and I can practically feel the house vibrating from all the noise. How has no one even called the cops yet? Passing through a random room I see a large round table filled with girls and guys half naked, some with just their panties, bras and underwear...some without.

"Hi Stan," Mellie shouts at me fully topless as I pass by. I smirk, and nod in acknowledgement as everyone gawks at her jiggly boobs. I make my way into another room, (guessing the living room) and towards where Token and a few of the guys are talking.

**(*)**

"Hey, man where've you been?" Token asks as he notice me approach them.

"Around, trying to avoid Wendy asking me to dance, and grabby hands."

"I know what you mean."

"Ugh, girlfriend problems," Clyde comments before going back to sticking his tongue down some girl's throat as she grabs on his sleeveless red hoodie.

"Speaking of grabby hands…" Kenny grins before being pulled away by Red. Token and I share a quick knowing look.

Suddenly the sounds of a series of loud greetings and praises as a Pitbull song changes to _R.I.P 2 My Youth_ and causes almost everyone to look towards where the all the noise is coming from. Walking in with his head held high, and a half grin painting his lips Kyle enters the house. The guy is immediately showered in hugs and gives everyone around him some sort of acknowledgement. Kyle seems to just ooze confidence as he strides through the house dressed in a white skull designed shirt underneath a black bomber leather jacket, the tightest black jeans, with black and white Vans. As Kyle approaches us with an air cockiness I try not to openly turn my lip up at him, and stay stoic at his presence.

"What's up Kyle?" Token gives Kyle a laidback handshake in greeting.

"M' good, you?"

"Yeah, just hanging back."

"Sup' Clyde," Clyde detaches from the girl's mouth long enough to give out a 'Hey, Kyle,' in greeting.

"Everyone's here already?"

"Should be, I think everyone except Cartman."

"Well, at least everyone that matters is here."

The two talk for a couple minutes with the occasional hum of acknowledgement from Clyde and I've had about enough. Who does Kyle think he is to just come and talk to my friends (who are coincidentally his friends as well), stand in front of me (But really where else is he supposed to stand?), and not acknowledge me (Why would he?). I wouldn't normally be so pissed about Kyle ignoring me, but we usually steer clear of each other, which was an unspoken agreement between everyone to avoid anything from popping off. I down the cup in my hand, the asshole did this on purpose, to try an ice me out. I'm brought out of my thoughts by Kyle's irritated voice.

"Is there a reason you're standing here?" Looking around I'm befuddled on when everyone's attention turned to me.

I actually think about not engaging with the jerk, but the cockiness in his voice, and his eyes just taunting me to react…

Before I could reply Heidi runs through the room with an excited scream, causing everyones attention to divert to the scene in front of them. "Connor! You made it." I raise an eyebrow at Heidi, it couldn't be.

But it is. "I said I would, I missed you too much." Heidi's older brother Connor scoops Heidi up and spins her around causing all the girls to coo in a round of 'aww' at the brother and sister. Once Conner sets Heidi down he is bombarded by people and calls out one person in particular, "Marsh!"

I look up from my empty cup only to be pulled into a strong hug by Connor, "Hey man," I greet, returning the hug. How's college?"

"Awesome. Man, the chicks there are hotter, wilder, and have the stamina of a fucking horse. How've you been?"

"Great, just taking it easy," I nod.

"Oh shit, what's up Toke?"

"Hey Con. I heard Colorado State beat Savannah State by three, great game. "

"We aren't called the Rams for nothing. My man, Donovan," Clyde pulls away fully from his girl to give Connor a warm hug.

"Hey, didn't know you were back in town man."

"And here I thought you missed my charming face."

"Wiping the ground with it yeah," Clyde jokes.

"Still a cocky little shit I see," Connor says pulling Clyde into a mini headlock.

Letting go Connor notices the nervous sophomore girl smiling at him as she throws her long dark hair over her exposed mocha colored shoulder flirtatiously and winks, "Looks like you've found someone to distract you from missing me too much," he says bumping fists with a laughing Clyde.

"And who do we have here, Kyle Broflovski," Connor's eyes dance around Kyle's unimpressed face, a half smirk forming before he directs his attention to the three guys behind him.

"Oh yeah, guys meet Daniel and Mike, my teammates and frat brothers," Both guys nod in greeting.

"Connor I want you to meet someone," Heidi tells Connor as she pulls him away to meet one of her friends.

I'm still in a slight shock. I haven't seen Conner since the beginning of the summer before he went off to college and it is actually really nice to see him. "Was that Connor Ackles just now, like for real?" I hear the sophomore girl whisper to Clyde.

"In the flesh."

Connor is the infamous brother of Heidi who basically dominated Park County High for the last four years before going off to uni. He was the guy every guy wanted to be, the best teammate and captain you could ever have, and the guy every girl wanted to fuck. He was Mr. Popular, completely charming with his golden brown hair that he's kept short and neat with his usual side part haircut, perfect smile and style.

The only problem being that he was a complete asshole. Everyone knows it, but still fucks with him. Since freshmen year Conner and my crew have been cool and he taught me half of what I know about high school life. The party continues on as it did before and I turn my attention back to Token who's now chatting with Jason about something. And Kyle was no longer in sight.

Getting another drink from the kitchen I pour straight up vodka in my cup and relish the burn it supplies on its way down, spreading warmth in the pit of my stomach. I pour another cup and down that one as well, on my third cup I feel someone standing beside. Staring.

"What?" I take a long gulp from my red plastic cup.

Kyle with a similar cup in hand throws back his drink before answering as he walks away, "You might wanna slow down before you get too fucked up."

I scrunch my nose up in disgust, "Fuck you," I reply in disgust at Kyle's retreating back and continue to kill half a bottle of Absolut.


	13. Old Habits Die Hard Pt 3

Old Habits Die Hard pt.3

* * *

_**Randy M.**_

"Nelson can you pass the chips," One of the guys asks as we sit around the large green poker table.

"Hey, where's Stoch, is he coming?" Steve asks absently.

"No, he said somethin' about having a night in with his wife," Nelson answers as he straightens his cards.

"How lame is that," Gerald comments and we all nod.

Picking up my discarded cigar in the glass ash tray beside me, I take a puff and re-adjust the cards in my hands. I'm only half listening to the guys talk about some fight Skeeter had to breakup yesterday, where a guy got smashed in the head with a beer glass. But I just can't shake the thoughts of Sharon from my head. Before leaving the house we barely even spoke and I feel so embarrassed having to practically beg my own wife for sex and to be intimate. Sharon only left a brief voicemail on my phone about an hour or so ago telling me she got called into work. We don't even see each other anymore, we're just like two ships passing in the night. Blowing the smoke out of the side of my mouth into the dimly lit room I find the nerve to confess, "I could use a night in with Sharon myself."

"Trouble in paradise?" Richard asks.

"Its just that Sharon's been working everyday, all day. And when I finally do get her alone, which isn't long...she's always tired."

"Ooh, I see where this is headin' she doesn't put out like she used to huh?" Thomas asks.

"No, the last time we even fooled around I barely got off with a rushed handjob."

"Ah, marriage," Steve sighs wearily, "All the sex you used to have when you were dating or during the 'honeymoon' stage stops all in that first year of marriage. I just wish it was some way life could prepare us for the permanent dry spell we all are bound to have."

"I mean it was good before, I was sedated, but when Sharon and I got together again it's been weird. Add on her full time job at Hell's Pass…"

"Do you think she may be...seeing someone on the side?" Ryan asks hesitantly.

There's a pause and I finish off my cigar as I contemplate this. Could Sharon be cheating? I shake my head.

"No, couldn't be."

"I don't know…" Nelson says skeptically.

"She's not!" I discard the finished cigar in the ashtray and run my fingers through my short ink black hair with a few light grey strands mixed in frustration, "Alright guys?" The table is silent for a while as they continue their card game, the hum of some sports game playing in the background on the huge flat screen Thomas has set up on the wall behind them.

"You know what I think you should do?" Thomas mentions.

"What? And don't suggest I ask Sharon to quit. She loves her job."

"No, now this might sound wacked out, but I was watching this show where this lady dressed up as one of those janitor guys and went to a high school to find hidden talent. There was talent there, but they didn't show her, they thought some other jerk off was the talent agent, but to make a long story short. What if you pretended to be someone else to see if Sharon's cheating or what she's been up to."

"So you want me to dress up as a chick and spy on Sharon."

"Don't act like you've never did it before." Ryan croaks out in reference to me dressing up as a chick before which causes a round of chuckles around the table. Yeah, well screw them, I had my reasons.

"No, you can still be a guy, just another guy. Like dye your hair blonde or somethin' and shave that rug off your face and any noticeable features that may give you away."

"Yeah and get a tattoo and a piercing."

"Yeah right, like Randy's going to really do that, right?" Gerald says, humor still evident on his face.

Everyone looks at me, "Yeah, I'll never do anything like that."

" You're a lost cause man." Thomas shrugs with a grin.

"Anyway, still in the dog house Stuart?" Gerald asks.

"Pretty much,"Stuart says with a weary sigh.

"You just got to gain her trust back man."

"But I feel like it's not enough to show her and the kids that I'm a good guy, that I'm better now."

"Its just going to take time. And how are things with the kids?"

"Well, things with Kevin and Karen are great. They seemed to take me in with open arms after I explained to them how I'm clean now. But Kenny...he's a whole different matter. Its just like he holds a grudge against me, which I can understand, but I'm trying here. Plus he avoids me like the plague."

"Corner him." Ryan suggests.

"No, that won't work," Thomas pitches in, "I tried that with Craig and I'll never do it again. They'll come around eventually. They just need to get out of all their angsty teenage bullcrap."

"Alright, is this poker night or a slumber party where we discuss our _feelings_? Enough talk 'bout our feelings alright? Let's talk about the game game yesterday, the Broncos won…"

Tuning out the guy's voices I give the occasional nod of interest, but I'm concerned about what Thomas suggested. Should I really spy on Sharon? Am I that desperate? Quickly I decide that yes, yes I am.

* * *

So, what's the plan?" I ask as Gary parks his white Hyundai Genesis haphazardly behind Clyde's familiar red four door Jeep Wrangler.

Somehow I let Gary convince him that it was okay for us to ride over together.

"What plan?" Gary asks absentmindedly before shutting the car off completely.

"You said you had a way into the party without me getting caught."

"Oh, that," Gary just stares at me contemplatively before a smirk forms on his face. "Okay, I can get you in, but you'll owe me a favor."

"I really don't care." I say quickly and dismissively. Whatever the asshat wants couldn't be too demanding could it?

"Okay," Gary hops out of the car and I follow and we go around the left side of Heidi's house. Gary bends down and removes a key from under a big rock. As Gary bends down I notice how tight Gary's pants actually are, but I quickly look away as he stands.

"What?" Gary questions absently.

"Nothing, how did you know that was there?" As we continue to make our way around the house to a side door Gary speaks, "Lets just say," Gary sticks the key into the lock and effectively unlocks the creaky wooden door, "I've been here before." I don't think anymore about it as we are both submerged in darkness. A light flickers on a moment later and I realize that we are in a bedroom. Averting my eyes from the various trophies, neatly made king sized blue and white bed, and stacks of magazines in the corner, I look at Gary as he points to another door.

Walking over to the door I open it, hearing the onslaught of Pia Mia and Austin Mahone and laughter. "Thanks," I say shortly before quickly leaving and heading towards the kitchen. As I pass through rooms to get to where the drinks are most likely stored. I greet everyone with a devious smirk when they ask how I got in and wink at a topless Mellie, who just blushes and turns away as her nipples begin to harden. In the kitchen I make my appearance known with an obnoxiously loud, "Hey Fuckers!"

"Oh great, you're here." Kyle says monotonously, leaning against the wall as he talks to Jason.

"Shut you're jew rat mouth Kyle." I reply as I make my way over to the snack table picking up a few snacks before moving on to the liquor.

"Hey, Cartman how'd you even get in?" Someone asks punching my shoulder.

"Where's everyone?" I ask picking up a bottle of Jack Daniels and drinking straight from it. I don't chug it like Stan would and I won't continue to take swings from it either because I'm not trying to get trashed tonight.

"I have no freaking clue."

* * *

Dancing to the beat of _Hypnotic _by Zella Day I have to admit Ruby was right. We've been here for over an hour and I can't get enough of the dancing. Swinging my hips to the beat, I agree with Zella Day that I completely feel like someone else right now. Feeling hands roughly grab onto my hips I playfully grind back against Ruby with a smirk, only when she grinds back even more sensually I feel something so very un-Ruby like. Turning around I come face to face with Filmore. His eyes are completely dilated as he stares at me with a small smirk, noticing that I stopped a few feet away Ruby stops dancing as well, "Glad that you both made it." Filmore says finally, "Thanks for whatever you said to to Jessica Frankleston," He says to Ruby.

"Beth," I correct. Am I the only one who thinks it's important to at least get her name right?

"I'm anything, but a liar so to hold up my end of the bargain," Filmore continues ignoring me and introduces the guy next to him with shaggy blonde hair dressed in a blue Aeropostale shirt and khaki shorts. He seems like the surfer boy type and even has a shark tooth necklace around his neck. He's cute.

"Hey, I'm Jared." The boy introduces with a deep voice and that just made him even hotter, "Do you wanna dance Karen?"

"Of course she does." Ruby supplies for me and then gently nudges me towards Jared.

Jared wraps his hands around my waist and we begin to dance to the beat of a random song. "So, this your first party?'

"Yeah, I usually don't go to these things-I mean parties like these," I mentally kick myself at being so frazzled and nervous by Jared's hands as they hold onto my waist, "Is this your first party too?" I bite my lip, trying to keep my jitters at bay. I hope Jared doesn't feel me literally shaking from being so nervous.

"No, but you should be pretty safe with me since I'm sort of an expert on these things."

"Expert. I take it you're not a freshman."

Jared chuckles, "No, I'm a junior." My heart is literally pounding in my chest and as Jared pulls us closer I try not to seem so obvious as I search Ruby out with my wandering eyes. I don't find Ruby, but instead make direct eye contact with Filmore. We stare at each other for a moment and I'm not even really sure if he's really looking at me until his red lips upturns in his usual smirk.

'He's a Junior?!' I mouth at him, but it doesn't seem to get through to a probably wasted Filmore as his attention becomes diverted...elsewhere.

"So, Filmore to me you were into older guys. That true?"

"Uh, not particularly, but y-you are cute."

"Thanks," Jared leans in closer to my ear to whisper, "And you're pretty hot yourself." I can feel my cheeks set a blaze, spreading to the tip of my ears as Jared's hands slide down to the hem of my shorts, cupping my butt.

"Jared I…"

* * *

I furrow my eyebrows in slight irritation at the constant, but faint calling of my name. I walk into the living room slipping through dancing bodies and hands trying to pull me in as the voice gets louder.

"Stan, there you are! Where have you been?" Wendy asks as she reels me in with her arms gently around my neck. I swallow the lump in my throat before taking another gulp out of the cup hanging from my hand.

"Around," I wrap my other hand around Wendy's waist.

"How are you enjoying the party?" Wendy asks as she releases me.

"Its...cool." I comment before taking another mouthful.

Wendy hits me on the arm at that, "Hey, this party is awesome." I stare at Wendy for a moment to tell if she was being serious or not, "Heidi's been freaking out about it all week."

"Okay, this party is really good," I say instead, hoping to appease her, although I don't think it's really anything to be shouting off of rooftops about. Wendy goes back to talking to her friends, but not before shooting me a knowing look as I continue to take sips from my cup. I roll my eyes and debate whether or not to get another refill. This is like my...I really don't know how many cups I've had tonight or how much would be considered a cup (considering I almost killed that whole bottle of vodka earlier). I'm not trashed nor wasted...yet. I'm drunk sure, but I tend to have a high tolerance, so it takes more than a whole bottle of vodka to get me completely undone. Fuck, I was supposed to be pacing myself. I finish my cup and discard it somewhere in the room, forgoing another as I just stand behind Wendy, arms wrapped around her waist. Every other minute or so I would whisper something in her ear that'll make her giggle and trail my teeth around her ear lobe.

"Wens," I whisper slightly needy. Wendy smiles, but ignores me as she continues talking about something that's not really that important. I mentally groan in annoyance as I try to contain my befuddled mind and my half hard member in my jeans. Casting my eyes around in boredom I see the usual couples and randoms making out, dancing (if you can even call it that at this point) and Tweek who probably just got here, laughing with Butters about something and nursing a green beer bottle and Mr. Asshole himself. If I wasn't so bored and horny I'd probably go find someone to chat with, but since Wendy keeps throwing flirty side looks at me every now and then...I'm thinking about taking her upstairs pretty soon, if she ever stops talking.

But alas I'm still waiting, and stuck trying not to seem so obvious as I watch Kyle as he leans against the wall talking to Amy Anderson, red cup hanging loosely in his left hand as he talks to her. From the looks of it he's actually flirting with her. I know Amy Anderson. She hangs out with Kenny's sister Karen and I often see her in passing when hanging out at their house. She's a good girl, a bit older than Karen, but she doesn't seem to have a bad influence on Karen because they still hang out around their house. I snort at how Amy looks at Kyle, she's so entranced by whatever he's saying. Wendy shoots me a funny look and I swiftly pretend not to see it. God, I wish I could hear what they are saying. Knowing Kyle he has no sense of respect or rather modesty at all so it makes sense that she's practically turning tomato red as he continues to run some type of game on her. I don't even know why I would want to hear whatever lame pickup lines or boring shit Kyle could possibly be spewing to this poor girl. I try to forget I even thought of that and kiss Wendy on her neck gently. A moment passes and I find myself once again staring at Kyle and Amy again.

She's leaning in closer while Kyle just looks too 'cool' for this party, for her, for everything. And I hate it. He gently tucks a lock of her auburn highlighted hair behind her ear and she blushes even more at the small gesture. I actually feel bad for the girl as she continues to talk to Kyle, rambling on about something. Kyle takes a swing of his drink and I swear he spots me-the fucking asshole saw me looking. His lips quirk up and...he's such bastard. I need to get over there. I can't let him do this to that girl. I unwrap my arms from around Wendy with this one thought in mind. As I approach Amy she smiles nervously and gives out a shy, "Hi, Stan." I paint an indifferent smile on my face.

"Hey Amy, great seeing you here." Amy nods and there's an awkward pause before Kyle hands Amy his cup and charmingly enough asks her to refill his cup.

"You should take it easy, you know. Don't want to get fucked up." I mock his earlier comment to me in the kitchen.

Kyle raises his eyebrows at me in mock confusion, "That's the point." Amy quickly returns with Kyle's drink in hand, "You know what sweet cheeks bring me that bottle of Maestro Dobel out of the right bottom cupboard in the kitchen. The girl blushes further and nods before leaving to get Kyle's drink/bottle.

"What do you want," Kyle asks bringing my attention back to him.

"What do you think you're doing? With her?" I spit out.

"Why do you care? Its clearly not of any of your concern, unless you want her for yourself. I don't think Wendy would to be happy about that, right Stanny-boy?"

"Shut your fucking mouth and keep Wendy's name out of your mouth. You know, she's just sixteen right? In case she didn't mention it."

"I'll be sure to let the council know," Kyle quips, the-ever-fucking sarcastic shit.

"You're such a fucking douche, you clearly need help."

"But, you're the one talking to me."

"Lets not," I finally grit out, jaw locked. I'm losing patience quickly, "Just get out of here. Stop fucking with her. There are plenty other girls around-"

Kyle just stares at me, "Why are you really over here?"

"What?"

"You didn't really come over here to play 'hero'. So spit it out or get the fuck out of my face." Kyle says harshly.

"You know what, I just don't get it. W-why are you even here." I don't just mean at this party. Why is he _always_ here!

"Because I can be." Kyle replies and I wonder if he sounds as darkly as I hear him or if it's just my hazy mind and slightly impaired hearing from all this fucking alcohol finally catching up to me. "It's you who needs to go away, who fucks up everything."

"But why?" I blurt out like word vomit. And did my voice always sound so befuddled, "Why me?"

"Because," Kyle says simply.

I slam my fist against the wall beside Kyle's head,"No. Tell me why. Why are you being-being so difficult."

"Because I hate your guts. I just really fucking _hate_ you Stan."

"Tell me why."

"No."

"Kyle."

"Don't say my name."

"Kyle, I-I don't, I can't…" I stop myself. What the hell am I doing. I can't be this fucked up.

I don't know if Kyle heard my unspoken words or not, but it's a small shock as he looks away and pushes me away, "Stop it."

"No, its true." Word vomit.

"Stop. You're drunk. And this conversation is over." Kyle says roughly and loud enough as Amy returns.

I want to scream in frustration at myself and at everything right now really as Kyle pastes on an obvious fake smile for Amy and shoves me hard with his shoulder as he makes his way out of the room with the oblivious girl. And after a few seconds I leave also.

* * *

**"Jared I...**I don't know you enough." I say awkwardly, "Is that cool?"

"Yeah, its okay." Jared agrees with a small smirk.

"Thanks," I say softly. That was fairly easy. Maybe he is a good guy, I wouldn't mind getting to know him better. Outside of this type of setting of course, probably like at a park or something, maybe we can even go to a movie. Eventually as the song switches to something more upbeat I continue to search Ruby out. Still I'm at a loss, but I kind of don't mind being with Jared. This is easy, this is really nice. He's not clumsy and meets my hips as they move to the beat. I find myself once again lost in the music and I don't bat an eyelash as Jared's hands slide further down my hips to the middle of my back. I shoot Jared a confused side look as a warning, but continue to dance. A few moments more I feel Jared's hands grasp my backside again and I immediately stop, frozen. Turning around I glare at a smirking Jared and fully remove his hands away from me.

"Okay, clearly you didn't get it when I like asked you not to touch or try to do anything physical to me."

"Oh, come on, I know you like it. And I'm feeling you, so why not?"

"First, you're confused and I don't like it and I don't like you now excuse me." I can't believe this-this _jerk_. The audacity. I begin to take my leave, but he catches me around the waist roughly, reeling me back in despite my resistance.

"I'm afraid we aren't done dancing yet," Jared emphasizes this by pulling me in closer.

"Just let me go."

"No. We were having fun. I was enjoying having that fine ass of yours grinding against me." Limited in movements from Jared's tight hands holding my waist I frantically try looking for Ruby (who I still cannot find) or Filmore. My chin is suddenly jerked forward and I'm face to face with Jared again. "I might even take you upstairs to see just how much of a good girl you really are."

"Just stop," I gasp out as Jared harshly grabs a handful of my bum to accentuate his point. I ignore the pain rising within me and keep looking for someone familiar. The only familiar person I can spot is...Tweek. He's talking to some blonde guy who has his back to me. I bite my lip nervously, I don't want to blow me and Ruby's cover, but I need to get away from this guy. I stare at Tweek for awhile hoping Tweek will notice someone is staring at him and after few agonizing moments wrapped in Jared clutches he notices. He searches the crowd for a minute until his passes right over me and I feel as if I'm gonna cry.

But...Tweek's eyes scan over me again and his eyes widen as do mine in a slight plead to help me out. I hope-no I am begging that he understands. A second later Tweek nods and tells the guy with blonde hair something before leaving. Well, there goes my help and there goes my freedom. A moment later I finally spot Ruby behind Jared dancing wildly with some boy. Ruby turns around and I could scream with relief as we make contact and I plead with my eyes that she'd get it. I even wiggle my eyebrows as our secret code for 'help'. Pushing her dance partner away Ruby moves to my side, and grabs me by the forearm to pull me away. I breathe a sigh of relief, but its short lived as Jared speaks clearly annoyed by Ruby, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Karen is this guy bothering you?" I nod and Jared glares at me.

"I didn't do anything she didn't want."

"No, that's not true."

"You," Jared grabs my chin roughly again, "Shut up and you," He spits and glares at Ruby, "Need to back the fuck off and let your friend go."

"Like hell I will."

"Bitch, this has nothing to do with you. Unless you want in too, I could use a good threesome."

"You are such a _scum bag_," Ruby practically screams. Ruby is truly Craig's sister, you can tell she picked up a few pointers from him. She doesn't back down and this is no exception.

By now we've gotten the attention of the crowd around us as Ruby are Jared go at it. Jared even going as far as to take a threatening step closer to Ruby, but she stands her ground even though he's a couple feet taller than her. "Just back the fuck _off_." Ruby warns.

* * *

"Hey when did you get here _Eric_?" Kenny asks he and I sit on the back patio passing a joint back and forth. I offer it to Cartman as he plops down in a chair and he takes it, taking a long hit, "About an hour or so ago."

"How'd you even get in?" I ask blowing out the smoke from another rolled blunt.

"I have only ways. But I probably shouldn't have came, this party has been a burner so far."

"Ah, It's alright," Kenny shrugs, "Did you see Connor yet?"

"That asshole's back?" Cartman laughs, "Finishing off his joint, "Nah, but I'll run into sooner or later. How long is he back?"

"I don't know probably the weekend, Kevin's back to."

"Really." Cartman comments idly as he throws the burnt out joint in someone's full cup left on the patio table.

"You fucker," I can't help, but comment, chuckling at Cartman's shitty action.

"No offense Kenny, but I'm not buying that whole macho, 'Imma straight dude, dur da dur' crap Kevin spews, he likes dick." Kenny and I burst into laughter.

"But, dude, he's dating this girl named Sarah I think." Kenny tries, but Cartman raises his eyebrows completely unconvinced.

"Come on Ken, the dude wears a muscle shirt all day, everyday, a pair of faded blue jeans and cowboy boots. He's a walking dick."

"But Sarah though."

"Kenny, there is no Sarah." Cartman assures, causing Kenny and I to erupt in more laughter, "There might be a Samuel, Tom or even an Ethan, but Sarah? Nope."

"How do you even know? You have some sort of gaydar do you?"

"No, I just hang around you gay douche bags to know enough."

"Oh, you probably take dick too." I say and it was worth by the way Cartman turns tomato red and scrunches up his face in disgust.

"Never. I prefer strictly pussy and the occasional ass from a _female_."

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it." I shrug nonchalantly, watching Cartman eye Kenny and I hatefully.

"What's the difference from doing anal with a girl and fucking a guy?" Kenny asks.

I snap my fingers automatically, "There isn't."

"Whatever, its just not my scene. Anyway, I'm surprised Damien and Pip didn't show."

"You know they only show up for the epic parties and this one, meh." I shrug, before taking a drag.

"Yeah, I'm thinking about going to visit though, they should be back up here by Monday for school."

"Where did they go?" I ask finally finishing off my blunt and discarding it somewhere in the grass.

"To visit his dad."

"And how do you know this?" Cartman asks nosily.

"I have my ways." Kenny replies with a knowing smirk.

Moments later we are interrupted by a slightly frantic Tweek, "Hey, you guys gotta come now!"

"Glad to see you made it Tweek." I can't help, but snark off. And at Tweek's unimpressed glare I can tell he really doesn't want to deal with my shit. Fuck if I care though. Tweek closes his eyes in frustration before speaking again.

"I need you and Ken to come now!"

"Alright dude," Kenny agrees as he stubs out his second joint on the patio step next to him before standing. "You okay man," He asks patting Tweek's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just that-"

"**J_ust back the fuck off!_**" An all too familiar voice rings throughout the house. No, it couldn't be though, but...I know that screechy voice from anywhere…

"Woah," Kenny half chuckles to try to lighten the mood, "Who the fuck was that?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you both," Tweek looks slightly uncomfortable as he shoots me a quick glance before turning his attention on Kenny. This isn't good. I can feel it, I feel that this is about to piss me the fuck off. I stand up and face Tweek, "It's your sisters," Is all Tweek finally pitches out.

"What? I didn't hear you?" I ask and clearly I've misheard. But by the look on Tweeks face...its enough to send me tearing through the open backdoor and back inside of the house, Kenny, Tweek and Cartman hot on my heels.

* * *

I am a bit more than drunk. No, I'm honestly a bit wasted. Still not full hammered but, trust me I'm getting there. As I walk over to Wendy after being lost in the crowd for a while I hug her loosely from behind before letting her go. I try to focus on what the guys are saying, but I have the attention span of a two-year old right now and I find my attention straying elsewhere. On Kyle to be exact. How come he's always here. I leave for an hour or what I assume has been an hour and we somehow end up in the same exact room again. I watch in disgust as Kyle continues to fuck with Amy.

I watch them long enough to notice that three minutes later they are no longer lounging against the wall, but are practically eating each others faces off. Another two minutes pass and glancing back over, the two are nowhere to be found. After a few long moments of taking notice of this I decide to wander the house to bust the fucker. Why? Well, why the hell not. Nothing would be more hilarious than to see Kyle hooking up with a sophomore girl and the look of disgust on her face when she see's his tiny cock. He's so fucking cocky when he's probably the size of my thumb. As I walk the upstairs hall I stop at the sound of loud moaning erupting from down the hall at the very last door. By the green and pink post it notes and dry erase board on the door it's Heidi's room. The door is partially open and as I look inside and I'm instantly frozen.

That's definitely the red-headed jew I was looking for, but what has me so caught off guard is how ferociously he's pounding Amy into Heidi's large green, frilly canopy bed. Every thrust he delivers from behind her causes her large boobs to jiggle uncontrollably and if her moans weren't enough, the way she's gripping onto the light green bedspread for dear life proves how hard they're going at it and how much she likes it. I can't take my eyes away from the scene in front of me, but as I feel someone's eyes on me I'm brought out of my stunned state. I know I've been caught. Looking up I notice Kyle staring at me, his eyes are completely blissed out as he continues to fuck this girl. His lips quirk up in a empty smirk and a second later I find myself backing away from the door and running down the stairs, dodging wasted girls and guys that call my name in greeting. What the fuck was that?! And why the fuck did I just run? Wasn't the point of this was to embarrass Kyle? I'm pulled out of my own head at the sound of shouting and I realize there's an entire crowd formed around on the makeshift dance floor.

"What the _fuck_ is going on here?" That was unmistakably Craig.

"Do tell," A hard voice inputs also, "Because I'm about a second away from socking this cunt in his face." And that was Kenny. Someone touches my shoulder and I turn around to see Tweek as he slides next to me.

"What's going on?" I ask trying not to sound too fucked up than I already am.

"Karen and Ruby are here. Some guy was feeling up on Karen and-"

"What the fuck is it to you." A voice sounds back.

"Will you shut the hell up for once! You're small shit compared to him."

"Yeah defend your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend. He's my brother and that's her's in case you didn't know."

"Who gives a fuck, this has nothing to do with you."

" Anything that happens to Karen happens to me too."

"Oh, I see, so you're both fucking dykes."

"Hey, watch your damn mouth." Kenny says and me and Tweak slide closer through the crowd to get a good look of what's going on.

"You know, fuck you and your dyky sister McCormic-" The poor guy didn't even get to finish before Craig socks him in the mouth. The boy lands on the ground as Craig begins to totally wail on the guy. A few people join in as well and eventually Tweek pushes his way through the few bodies blocking us to try to get Craig off the guy.

"Craig, fuck! Get off him!" Tweek is finally able to get Craig away from the bloodied boy. Tweek pushes Craig away and out of the room and possibly out the house, followed by Kenny, Karen, and Ruby. Soon after the party swings back into gear and someone resumes the music. Only a couple kindhearted souls even think about helping the dude off of the floor and to the nearest bathroom to rinse off and attend to his busted lip. Craig possibly broke his nose if the way he's dripping blood indicates anything.

"Dude, tonight is fucking insane!" Some random guy screams in my ear.

"I know."

* * *

Around 2 AM everyone starts to clear out and I laugh my ass off at all the drunk asses spewing their guts up in the front yard and the gross couple making out against the banister. So fucking sick. Even saw Jew following Heidi out of one of the downstairs bathrooms. Don't need a clue to figure out what happened there. Such a fucking hoe, maybe I should convince her to fuck with me. Nah, I really am not that desperate. And who knows how many guys she attended to tonight. I'll just continue to kill this _Coors Light_ and watch tweedledee and tweedledum get bitched out by their older brothers.

"Fucking hell, why did you even come?" Kenny yells at Karen.

"Because we just wanted to get out." Karen replies a bit shaken up.

"Yeah, its our first high school party, we should be able to have fun too." Ruby pipes in.

"Hey," Craig interrupts none too nicely by the way Ruby slightly backs down, "You," He says pointing at Ruby, "Shut your mouth, you have some explaining to do, and is that my shirt?" Ruby pales at that and I hold back laughter as I take another swing of my beer.

"Craig," Ruby starts.

"No. Not a fucking word." Craig says with finality, "Now start walking." Ruby just looks at Craig helplessly before dragging herself towards Craig's parked car.

"Hey," Kenny calls to Craig's retreating back, "Can you drop Karen off on your way?"

"Yeah, sure." Kenny turns away and Karen grabs his arm halting him.

"Kenny, I-I'm so sorry! I just, I didn't think this would happen, I didn't think-"

"That just it Kare, you didn't _think_. Did even cross your mind as to what could possibly happen at these types of parties? No, you just acted without thinking. What would you have did if that someone would have slipped something in your drink or worse if that jackass would've actually took you upstairs somewhere? What if you couldn't get ahold of Tweek? This isn't a kid party. These people don't care about what happens to you. You are just another random face to them, so it doesn't matter whether or not someone hurts you."

"So what, I'm never going to be able to go to parties now?"

"That's not what I'm saying. Look Kare, you're fresh out of middle school. You need to know how to carry your own. And as much as I want to always be there, I can't always be there. I just want you take this slow. You are not obligated to rush into these types of things, you and Ruby are smarter than that, so be smart about this. And if I'm honest you both are _just_ so much better than this," Kenny finishes his rant and turns his back on a sulking Karen.

"Kare," Craig calls from his car and Karen finally walks away and gets into the backseat of Craig's car.

"Shit, that was so fucking lame."

"Tell me about it." Kenny agrees as he sits on the front steps and out of the way of a group of stumbling drunk girls. "Always knew the day would come when my lil sis was no longer interested in dolls and playing dress up. The day she'd want to start going out and partying." Kenny says wistfully.

I glance at Kenny before shaking my head. I honestly don't think this will become a habit of Karen and Ruby. They are just young girls that wanted to know what it's like to go to an actual high school party. Despite them not realizing that not all high school parties are actually how they are portrayed on TV. Like Kenny said both girls are admittedly smart, but it's because they have brothers like Kenny and Craig they most likely won't end up like Heidi- begging guys for a fuck just to stay popular. Even though, Ruby seems bold and fearless her brother's word are final to her, she listens to him as do Karen to Kenny. Karen is practically Kenny's baby, he's been taking care of her before he really even knew how to take of himself and she knows this and doesn't take advantage of it...but Kenny doesn't need to hear this from me.

"Yeah," I say instead, "Sucks to be you."

Kenny smirks, "Fuck you."

"You wish."

"Maybe." Kenny winks at me suggestively and I'd never wanted to kill the bastard so bad.

"Gross, get loss," I sneer at Kenny and totally ignore Kenny's annoying laughter as I return inside of the pretty much empty house besides that same disgusting couple. The guy literally threw up not even six minutes ago and continues to tongue this girl down.

**(*)**

Walking down the silent hallways and disposing of my beer bottle somewhere on the floor (who cares, its not my house) I eventually pass the door I entered the party through. The door was cracked just enough for me to see three people inside together, huddled in a half circle, pants around their ankles along with their boxers...cocks out. And in the middle of it was fucking Gary. I gotta hand it to him. As I watch him work over these guys dicks it amazes me. How he has a certain technique, as he sucks one sloppily, and furiously jerks off the others...I'm slightly entranced. Looking away from the blonde boy in the middle I take in the other guys around him. Two brunette guys I don't recognize and a blonde one who's gripping the back of Gary's head, face fucking him with a large shit eating grin. I'd be able to recognize that grin from anywhere. Connor. Backing away from the door I close it soundlessly. The room Gary let me in through...It was Connor's. That explains the trophies and the sports magazines. As I'm making my way back out the front door I bump into Kyle.

"Watch where you're going fatass." I ignore Kyle and continue to take my leave. As I make my way into the fresh, cool outdoors I'm grabbed on the arm.

"What Kahl?" I ask irritated.

"What has your panties in a bunch?"

"Nothing, I just had too much to drink." I lie. Kyle accepts this though and doesn't push further and falls into step with me. We don't say anything for a while and that's fine and I pretend I don't see Gary's car parked a couple meters down on the side of the street. Finally when Heidi's house is out of complete sight and we're rounding the corner past Clyde's house Kyle speaks.

"Stan tried to talk to me tonight." I say nothing to this, and Kyle continues, "He tried to tell me-"

"You know what Kyle, I can't do this tonight. I can't listen to you wallow in pain and talk about Stan. I friggin' can't and to be blunt I'm tired of it." We round another corner and I spot my house in sight. I stop and look at Kyle. He's a right mess right now and a part of me feels a little guilty about not listening to the guy or at least humoring him, but a very big part of me right now, doesn't regret telling Kyle how I feel for once. "Just go get some sleep dude," I find myself saying, "Rinse your fucking mouth out and get some water in your system and just go to bed." Kyle nods before we both turn the opposite way heading home. I swear to whatever is holy that if I didn't love Kyle like a brother I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't even put up with his shit. But alas I've been the bearer of all his bullshit since Stan stopped trudging the load. Its not like he doesn't have anyone to talk to, he just talks to me...like somehow in my fucked up way I'll be able to understand what he's going through. I just can't right now with him, with everybody.

* * *

_**Shelly M.**_

"Yeah mom, don't worry I have my key. Yes, I know. Yes mom," I sigh in exhaustion as I continue to walk up the driveway and up the short pathway to the front door of the house. As I only half listen to whatever mom is nagging my ear off about as I step onto the welcome mat and start unlocking the house door. "Alright mom, I'll see you when you come home...whenever that is."

"Okay Shell, and if you want you can order takeout or have the rest of the leftover alfredo your dad made for dinner, but I'll see you soon." With that I unlock the house door and end the phone call. Looking at the time on my phone alfredo is sounding pretty good right about now, but maybe-

"Well if it isn't Shelly Marsh." I halt with my hand on the door knob at the strikingly familiar voice. Turning around with a grimace, hand perched on my right hip I face the man in front of me.

"What do you want Skyler?" I spit out.

"Why the long face Shell? Aren't you happy to see me?"

In all honesty no, I am not by any means happy to see my ex-boyfriend Skyler. Emphasis on the _Ex_ part. We hadn't dated since I was in the tenth grade and had a meaningless fling back in the twelfth, but he's always been a self absorbed asshole so shit just never worked out. The last time I'd even seen Skyler was the summer before I left for my freshmen year of college and Skyler left to make it out in California as an musician. But to see him here standing in front of my house with that same sardonic smile he always had makes me remember why I avoided Skyler and his friends (who stayed in South Park) every time I came home from school. I didn't want to speak to or hear about Skyler then and I definitely don't now.

"Thought you were in California." I decide to say as I make no moves to greet or come closer to Skyler.

"Was," Skyler answers, but doesn't make any moves towards me either as he leans against his black 1969 Camaro. "But you knew that already." Skyler says a fake grin lacing his mouth.

I shake my head at his comment, a noncommittal sound erupting from my vocal cords, "Nope, I don't keep up with you like that-like-"

"You used to," Skyler finishes as he crosses his leather clad arms across his chest. And I refuse to acknowledge the way the leather jacket hugs his muscular figure. It'll be a lie to say as he's gotten older Skyler's good looks haven't improved (He comes a long way from split ends, pimples and just overall bad acne), and his boyish features is nothing, but a distant memory compared to his whole 'Rugged' older look he has now. But whatever. He's still a douche.

"Okay, lets just go with that."

"Its true."

Skyler holds his hands up, "Not arguing it."

"What do you want Skyler? I'm tired from driving and I just want to go to sleep."

"Can't I just visit an old friend? Whether you know it or not I do consider you a friend even though we've seen each other's private...bits."

I grit my teeth, why was I even expecting him to actually care that I'm tired and just drove all the way from school after my last class and straight home. Why was I expecting him to be mature about this? I don't know, maybe I'm crazy or I'm just that sleep deprived right now. "Get to the point."

"Alright. Look, I have a friend that lives in downtown LA and eventhough I've come back home for a little while we still keep in touch."

"So, what does this have to do with me?"

"_So_, my friend works at some indie cafe and she's always talking about this sweet guy who comes in regularly and orders the exact same thing everyday, a cafe au lait with soy milk. He's so nice and even though he's a tad timid he's not as uptight up as she first thought he was. To make a long story short, because he comes in so much they get to hang out sometimes when she's on break or when the day is slow and there's not many customers. She finds out that he's actually a really strict vegan and orders the same thing because that's the only drink they make that fits his diet. But what really caught my attention was when he mentioned having lived in California for years, but for a short time he lived in a small town. What small town? South Park."

"Im not following," I comment as I rub my tired eyes and switch my keys to my other hand. "There's a list of people who are probably vegan and at once lived in South Park."

"Okay, I get that so I ask my friend to atleast give me a name and finally she says, 'Skyler, he has the weirdest name, Larry. Feegan." I'm frozen. I hadn't heard that name in what seems like so long. Skyler must be bullshitting.

"Bull," I call.

"No," Skyler assures, "I'm not."

"No. No, no, no, no. Just no. This," I cover my face with my hands and bend down momentarily before quickly standing back up. "This can't be. He's dead...He's supposed to be dead!"

"I know that's what I said. I said that it was impossible they even had this kid on the news, in the newspaper all around town for weeks. And he just magically turns up in LA alive and well. Completely insane. So, she sends me a picture and…" Skyler doesn't finish his statement.

"What? And what Skyler?" I ask pushing my brown locks out of my face in irritation. Skyler just stares at me for a brief moment before speaking, "You know what, I think this was a bad idea. I should've never come, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, Skyler I-I want to see," I swallow the lump in my throat, holding back tears, "I want to see the picture."

"Okay," Skyler agrees at last and he takes out his phone from his jacket pocket and taps around on it. I come closer once he presents the picture to me. And smack dead on his screen was of a guy with tan skin and short blonde hair with his thumb raised on one hand and his other wrapped around a blue coffee cup with intricate drawings covering its entirety. And most of all even though he's skinner, that smile was so familiar as it graced his lips. I want to faint three times over, but I can't even look away from the picture of a now young-adult Larry and his shy smile and rosy cheeks. When I finally work up the nerve to look away my eyes are begging to let tears fall. So without another word or goodbye I run into the house, slamming the door in the process and lock it with just the flick of my wrist before sliding down the dark wooden door and onto to the mahogany wooden floor. The sound of my erratic breathing echoing in the empty house.

What the hell is going on? Why? Just why, why now? Wait, why does it even matter? I'm completely moved on from just some childhood crush...But why can't I shake the burn I feel in my chest, and the throbbing in my heart. I feel like I've been lied to...for a _long_ time and I don't-I don't know what I am going to do.


	14. There are Always Two Sides

There are Always Two Sides...

* * *

"Kyle! Kyle! Kyle!" With a groan I wrap myself further inside of my cocoon of covers trying hard to block out my mother's call for me. I'm not ready to wake up yet. "Kyle!"

"What ma?!" I shout, sitting up in my huge bed. I don't get a reply, so I flop back on the bed. A few minutes later my mom bursts inside of my room.

"Bubbala, why are you still in bed? Get up, you have school today."

"I know ma, its only," I glance over at my phone as it lay charged up on my bedside table, "6:30. I still have at least thirty minutes before having to wake up." My mom sits on the edge of my bed and she kind of looks too fuzzy in this dark room right now.

"What's wrong with leaving a little bit early today."

"W-what? Ma, I need sleep okay? I have a Math test today and a English presentation and I need to be fully rested." I try to reason, but knowing my mom she understands, she just doesn't think it's important compared to whatever she's up to now.

"Please, bubbala. Ike needs to be to school early today." My _mother_ finally says and I know my face doesn't express how incredulous I feel right now.

"Why?" I ask instead of screaming out an obscene 'NO'.

"He has to make up a test he missed last Friday. He had to come home earlier because he wasn't feeling well." I just stare blankly at my mom for a while. I'm not so much glaring at her as I am screaming inside of my head.

"Fine." I say finally and push away my soft and warm blue covers, climbing out of bed.

"Thank you bubbala! I have breakfast ready downstairs if you want."

"Thanks ma, but I'm not really hungry." I tell her as she goes over to my large windows and opens the silk grey curtains, revealing the little sunlight there is. I cringe away from the light, and head into my bathroom.

The first thing on my to do list is having a well needed piss before quickly jump inside of my shower and washing off for ten minutes. After getting the shampoo out of my hair I get out and wrap a soft white towel around my waist. I dry my hair and pick out a pair of black jeans that are ripped at the knees and a long sleeve green polo to wear today. I throw on some black vans and a grey ring on my thumb and run a hand through my curls on my head and make a note to go in for a haircut this week.

Throwing my towel in my bin in the bathroom I make my bed, grab my keys, phone, bag and leave. All within twenty minutes and I'm downstairs, I immediately walk into the kitchen and to the refrigerator to grab a powerade. My dad stock up on these like crazy and over the years I've grown to love them. I crack the top and take a deep gulp before focusing my attention on Ike who's sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen looking at something on his phone. He doesn't seem to feel me staring at him, so after killing half the bottle of powerade I make my presence known.

"Ike," I call and he looks startled for a moment before noticing it's me. He smiles, "You have to be to school early right?" I ask and he nods before pocketing his phone in his back pocket and standing. We make our way to the foyer and I grab my leather jacket and Ike a random zip up jacket and his backpack.

"We're leaving ma!" Ike calls upstairs, before walking out to my car. I close the door behind us and lock it. I unlock the car door and Ike and I get inside. I start the car up and pull out of the driveway quickly before speeding down the street. Glancing over at Ike I see that he has his phone back out. Am I not that interesting to talk to anymore? I slow all the way down as the light turns yellow and soon it turns red. I could've made it, and I usually would have but fuck it and the people honking behind me.

"So, you missed a test last week," I start slowly.

"Yeah," Ike says absently before looking at me, "Why?"

"You didn't mention that you were sick last Friday."

"So? Its not like you could have did anything about it."

"Yeah, but" The light turns green and I continue driving "I could've took you home and made you like soup or got you medicine."

"Right." Ike says shortly.

"Plus I'm your brother aren't we supposed to tell each other things like this."

"Yeah, I thought so too. Doesn't seem like it lately though." He says sharply.

I ignore Ike's tone and instead ask, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Ike heaves a heavy sigh, "I barely see you anymore. The only time I get to see you other than around school, which is not much by the way seeing as I'm just a freshman, and at home. And even then all you want to do is study and sleep." Ike spits out as I flip on my turn signal and switch lanes and stop at another red light.

"I know and I'm sorry. I know I've been really unavailable lately and we need to spend more time together. I want to know more about what is going on with you."

"Okay, thanks. Well...I guess I can start by telling you that I almost got in a fight last Friday and that's why I missed the test."

"Wait, what? Did I hear that right? Mr. I'm Einstein reincarnated actually got in a fight?"

"Shut up. I said almost."

"Who was it?" I ask instantly.

"Filmore."

"What? No, I thought you and Filmore were cool, practically best friends. Why does he want to fight you?"

"Well, things change." I dont say anything to that. What am I supposed to say to that? "Filmore is mad that I'm with Ruby." Ike says after a moment. "He thinks I stole her away from him."

"Did you?"

"No! He's my best friend and I've known him since pre-k and no, I wouldn't do that."

"Then why do you think he feels this way?"

"Because he kind of already had a crush on Ruby and-"

"He told you." I state.

"Yeah," Ike admits, rubbing the back of his neck, "And I got with her anyway. I mean why not? I liked Ruby as well and she said she was interested in me. Look I know I fucked up, but right now I just need some brotherly advice on what to do.

"I don't want to tell you what to do. But I will advise that you both talk it out. Tell him that you wasn't trying to steal Ruby."

"If only it was that simple. I mean I don't want to sound like Im weak or anything and begging for us to be best friends again I just want him to know that it's not what it seems." Ike says and he sounds...guilty.

"What do you mean?" I ask, pulling closer to the high school.

"I was just so sad, so confused. And I did really like her."

"Ike..." I try not to sound as worried as I feel right now. Although, should I be worried about Ike? I pull into the student parking lot and easily I slide into a parking space.

"Its okay. Thanks for the ride and advice. I will talk to Filmore." Ike shoots me a smile, hugging me from the side before getting out.

Why do I feel like there's more to the story than what he just told me? Why do I feel like it's more to Ike than I thought before?

I got at least another hour before everyone gets here, so I guess its safe to go to the library and get a head start on next week's chapters for Chemistry. But as the hour passes by swiftly I can't get rid of the worry I feel in the pit of my stomach. Its a horrible feeling that I rarely let myself feel, but when it comes to Ike I can't help it. I only want the best for him.

* * *

It's been two weeks since Heidi's party and I haven't even thought about what happened with Kyle. That's a lie. I have, but not more than a couple times. I mean I hadn't really had a quiet moment to myself between being with Wendy whenever she has the time now, homework (which I sometimes half ass do), football practice, and hanging out with friends. And on top of everything my dad announced that he was going on a business trip in Denver. He said he doesn't know when he'll be back and that he will call whenever he gets the chance. We all just pretty much stared at him like he had grown four heads. I could tell the gears in my mom's head was turning fiercely, but she just gave a short nod and they shared an impassioned kiss on the lips before hugging me and Shell. I hate it when they do shit like that. I always feel like they are trying to keep up a front for me and Shelly and I'd rather prefer screaming than fake shows of affection.

We kind of just stood there as everything set in. Shell looked liked she'd rather be anywhere else than here and I felt like shit as my mom made us breakfast before I left for school and Shelly to do whatever. No one has even bothered to ask why Shelly is still here after two weeks. She doesn't seem to have dropped out of uni because she's always talking about schoolwork. She hasn't broken up with her boyfriend Casey because they still talk on the phone 24/7. The only weird thing about this situation is that she's been sneaking out of the house early in the mornings and late at night sporadically. She doesn't think I notice, but I'm a light sleeper and I could probably hear a pen drop in our silent house, so I have no problem hearing the occasional loose floorboards creak.

After finding a parking space I climb out of my car and walk through the front entrance of the school. As soon as I step inside I try to make my way to my locker as quickly as I can before I'm bombarded by a group of freshmen girls, openly gawking at me. I make no stops and soon I'm putting my dark blue back pack in my locker and grabbing the books I need for biology class. I plan to go straight there without any stops after homeroom. Closing my locker I finally take the time to really look around me. I try not to openly laugh at Craig. He has Ruby literally trailing him. I guess he still hasn't fully let go of what happened at Heidi's party, he did this last week and the week before, so Ruby doesn't look too bothered anymore.

"Hey," I greet Craig with our usual handshake, "Hey Ruby," I greet Ruby who seems to begging me with her eyes to put a stop to this. I do feel a bit bad for the girl, she had good intentions and just wanted to have fun at a high school party. "Craig. Isn't it about time you let go of what happened two weeks ago? C'mon dude, let Ruby go hang out with her friends."

"I don't know," Craig says unmoving. Well this is not going to go to well if Craig's just gonna be hard ass about it. I know that when Craig is adamant about something it's hard to change his mind.

"Please Craig, just let me go back to my friends. How many times am I gonna apologize for what happened? And if it means anything I'm not planning on doing that again." Ruby pleads and even throws in her puppy dog eyes. Craig stares hard at her seemingly unaffected, but I know he's going to end up giving in.

"Fine." Craig relents, finally.

"Thank you!" Ruby kisses Craig cheek before heading down the opposite hall.

"Aww, what a nice brother and sister moment," I comment sarcastically to which Craig snorts.

"If anything I was giving her friends a break from being terrorized. She's such a twerp."

"Yeah, okay." I chuckle, I know Craig loves Ruby, he can just be really overbearing sometimes. I guess that's what it means to be the older sibling. You worry more and sometimes come off as an asshole just to protect them. Well, that's the way I see it, seeing as I don't have a younger sibling, but a nosy older sister.

Craig grabs his books out of his lockers and we walk to homeroom together. "So, my dad left this morning." I decide to say since everyone's going to find out eventually.

"Why?"

"He said he had 'business' to take care of in Denver."

"And you don't believe him."

"Fuck no. I think he has ulterior motives for leaving."

"Oh, boy not another Randy Marsh shit show."

"Looks like it. Between my mom being so busy she's barely home and my dad leaving I don't expect any less than shit."

"How is Wendy doing in her internship?" Craig asks and I'm grateful for the subject change.

"She's doing awesome. Its just one slight thorn in her ass."

"Let me guess, Cartman."

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Craig clicks his teeth, but doesn't say anything for a moment, "Kyle told me."

"Oh." Is all I can say to that. Kyle? I mean I'm not surprised he knows it is his dad's law firm, but-

"Yeah," Craig says and I can tell that it's a bit uneasy, "Hopefully those two won't kill each other."

"Knowing how Cartman is he'll find any reason to bother Wendy."

"I am loving how optimistic you are today!" Craig says sarcastically. I can't help it, today is clearly not my day.

**(*)**

All I wanna do is just sleep this entire day away. I just shrug as we enter homeroom and we go to our assigned seats. Mr. Garrison clearly forgot that we are no longer in the third grade, because he treats us exactly the same. Sitting down in my seat I lay my head on top of my biology book on the desk, planning to sleep this entire period. Mr. Garrison calls roll lazily from his desk and I throw my hand up when he gets to me before laying it back down. When roll call is over and every head is accounted for I begin to daze off. Only to feel something or rather someone poking my side. Its relentless and doesn't stop until I turn my head towards the suspect.

"What," I ask trying not seem as annoyed as I really am about not being left alone.

"Why the long face?" Butters asks and I fight the urge to turn away rudely.

"I'm just tired Butters, so if you don't mind-" I say only to be cut off by Kenny, who just sat down in his seat next to me.

"We mind. Now, what's bothering you on this lovely Monday morning."

"I didn't get much sleep last night." I say instead of bringing up my dad leaving again. There's too many people that may be listening.

"Late night?" Kenny asks with a smirk. Yeah, right. With the Wendy's internship I will be lucky if I get a handjob.

"Nope. Just couldn't fall asleep, but my sleep pattern has been all over the place lately"

"Maybe you have insomnia." Butters suggests. Maybe.

"No," I find myself saying anyway. I actually have pills that are supposed to help with my insomnia, but I don't like taking them. Its not that they don't work, I just don't like the thought of having to depend on pills to sleep, plus they knock me out like a light. I don't express as much and Butters still looks concerned.

"Don't worry, Stan'll be okay, right?" Kenny says and I nod. The subject drops and moves onto what we did over the weekend.

"So, does that mean he's going to get an actual job?"

"Yeah, he wants to prove that he can make a living here."

"That's just-wow." We were talking about what happened after Damien visited his dad in hell. Apparently, Damien doesn't want to be like his dad, and plans to actually become a businessman after he graduates.

"He's not going to get a full job right now obviously, but he's got an internship at some office in North Park." I nod. "I also hear that Conner is planning to come back up here this weekend."

I groan, but smile lightly to myself, "The dude has been up here every weekend for the past two weeks."

"Yeah, I wonder why."

"Maybe he just misses being here?" Butters suggests.

"Yeah, but he's constantly taking me to meet his frat brothers and he even wants me to come up sometime in March I think.

"What's in March?"

"Some kind of March Madness blowout they're having at his frat house."

"That's cool, I guess," Butters says with a shrug. And hopefully it will be because I already gave him my word.

**(*)**

The conversation changes and ten minutes later homeroom is over. And we all file out of the classroom and to our next classes. I get through my next two classes without hassle or having to do much talking and I consider skipping lunch, but as I'm walking towards my locker I receive a text from Wendy telling me to sit with her at lunch today. I agree because we haven't spent enough time together. And against popular belief I actually give a fuck about Wendy.

The hallway is near deserted now so I decide to make a quick detour to the bathroom. I immediately begin to regret my decision to not head straight to lunch as I walk into the bathroom. Ignoring the other (and only) occupant of the bathroom I go to the only available urinal which is conveniently right next to him, great. I stare straight ahead and pee before flushing and washing my hands.

"Stan," I clench my jaw and face Kyle, "Can we talk." What?

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Well I do," Kyle says roughly, "So just listen."

"Yeah, no. I don't have to listen to you."

"You do."

"I don't. What are you going to do, force me to listen to you?"

"I might."

"Yeah right. I think we both know who'd win if you try that." I remark and the asshole chuckles. I don't find anything funny at all.

Kyle shakes his head as he now leans against the bathroom wall, "Seriously, I just want to talk." What could he possibly want to talk about? I tried that two weeks ago and he turned me down. Just the thought of that moment in his house is embarrassing enough.

"Fine. You have three minutes. I'm meeting Wendy soon." I cross my arms over my chest.

"I think," He starts and doesn't finish. I roll my eyes and am about to leave."We should at least be somewhat cordial to each other." He finally says and from the look on his face I can tell it took a great deal to even get that out. I can't believe my ears however. Did he really suggest we be somewhat friendly? The word no is the tip of my tongue, but it never comes as he continues, "After Heidi's party, I decided that I'm done fighting with you. We are going to have to deal with each other on more than one occasion seeing as we have the same friends. I'm not saying we have to be friends." Kyle finishes and I just stare at him confused. What should I say to this? I was thinking along similar lines two weeks ago...Kyle is staring at me expectantly and I swallow the uncomfortable lump in my throat before forcing myself to speak.

"Okay." The word tastes like vomit on my tongue. Kyle doesn't say anything more so, I take my exit. As soon as I open the door there's a guy standing right there about to walk in. I recognize him as one of Kyle's cronies. He probably came looking for him once everybody realized he wasn't at lunch.

"Fuck outta the way Marsh." The guy spews and I think his name is Reggie. I really don't know I can barely keep up with some of the people Kyle uses to do his bidding.

"Fuck you," I retort moving past the guy as he enters the bathroom.

"Reg," Kyle calls to the bulldozer, "Lay off." The guy grits his teeth, but doesn't dare say anything back to Kyle, probably in fear of getting knocked out. I step out of the doorway and the door closes behind as I make my way to the cafeteria.

I make a sharp turn around the corner and smash right into someone.

"Jeez, can you watch where you're going you snotty nose brat," Mr. Garrison says and doesn't even make any moves to pick up his papers. Bending down I pick them up along with his bag. As I hand him his papers and things I notice that these aren't our regular history papers. On the typed cover page it says University of Denve-" Mr. Garrison clears his throat and I fully hand him his papers.

"Sorry," I say sheepishly and Mr. Garrison just silently glares at me. Its slightly uncomfortable to have him he just staring at me without-

"You know if you weren't up your own ass all the time you would be able to see a lot of things." Where is this coming from?

"I'm not?"

"Is that a question Stanley?" He says and he sounds so exasperated.

"No. I just don't understan-"

"Exactly. Look, you tend not to snoop or be too much of a nosy bastard, that was mostly your ex jew friend, but you should really start paying attention to everything else outside yourself sometimes."

"I do."

"You don't."

"Why are you even telling me this?"

"I don't know. I ask myself this every morning, why do I still put up with my average job and the dumb kids that come with it? Why am I still here?"

"Why do you?"

"I haven't quite figured that out yet. I've been teaching for over seventeen years and I still just do not know. But this isn't about me, its about you. Just listen for once." I nod and as we walk down opposite halls I hear him say, "There are always two sides to one story."


	15. Golden

Golden

* * *

_**Token W.**_

"What do you think about San Francisco? I hear the weather is actually pretty good there. Or maybe New York. But there _is_ going to be a lot of snow in the winters, so I'm not sure."

"It snows 90 percent of the time in South Park, what difference would it make in New York?"

"Toke, I thought we decided we will live somewhere where our commute to work wouldn't take as long or be so much of a hassle. Ice roads are a hassle."

"I actually like that it snows. Most people don't get to take in the sights we have."

"You're right although, I don't really care too much for snow. Compromises must be made to ensure we live comfortably."

"Fine." I amend.

"Honestly, I don't think San Fran would be great after all. Maybe Santa Monica."Nichole says after a moment I nod try not to express the exasperation I sincerely feel right now. I just let Nichole continue mapping out our lives. My life.

Instead I watch the digital clock on my dresser and silently beg for this to be over. Its not that I don't love Nichole, I do. Im not ready to plan my whole life out. I dont even want to plan anything out. Why cant we just live and take everyday as it comes? I know that I work my ass off, but for what? To get a good job, get married, have kids and white picket fence? No, Ive decided that is not enough for me. Where's the excitement?

If I even say as much to Nichole she'd flip. She has everything mapped out right down to our first two kids' names. We are supposed to graduate high school at the top of our classes, and attend Princeton together. We are both set to become doctors and eventually open up our own practice together and in our early thirties live comfortably with two kids and a golden retriever. I dont want that. But how can I tell her that I don't want what she's dreamed her whole life about? That I don't plan to attend college at all. It would ruin her and I can't do that to her. But I can't let her do this to me either.

"Token, are you listening? I said I have to go now. My parents want to go out for my mom's birthday tonight."

"Yeah, I just have something on my mind. I'll walk you out." I smoothly cover as Nichole gathers her things.

I walk her down to the front door and we pause as she wraps her arms around my neck in a hug. She kisses me softly and I nip her bottom lip, pulling gently before we pull away. She grins at me giving me one hard kiss before leaving, swaying her hips as she walks up to her car before getting inside. I watch until her car is out of sight before closing the door. God I love her.

**(*)**

I head into the kitchen and grab my mug and start up the coffee pot before flipping on the tv on the kitchen wall. I sit at the island and begin putting the finishing touches on my English midterm paper. Kyle, Butters and I started on it together Monday and I'm honestly happy I can scratch this off my to do list. Mrs. Green seriously gives no fuck about how much work she gives us. I guess that's another reason why most students don't care for her. I save a copy of the document on my computer and my flash drive.

I glance at the time on the bottom of the screen and it reads 9:50, three hours since I started. I should probably order in something, pizza sounds good, but there is a good thai place that delivers. The wait is shit, but it's better than City Wok. I place the order and as soon as I hang up my computer chimes.

I see that it's a skype call from Red. Random. I don't really talk to Red and funnily enough I don't have much of an opinion on her. I accept the call and Red pops up on my screen. She looks to be in her bedroom that is ironically painted red. Everything is red instead of the black writings on her wall in what most likely is sharpie and paint.

"Hi," She greets and I'm kind of at a loss of what to do other than greet her back.

"Hey."

"So, um I know you're probably wondering why I'm skyping you and it's because I heard that you are really good in math and all your subjects really and it was suggested that I get a tutor." Tutor? What?

"I'm not really much of a tutor Red. And I don't really know how much I can really help you."

"You are like one of the smartest people in our entire school. And I...really need someone to help me out. I'm kind of in some deep shit, okay."

"How bad?" I ask curious.

"Lets just say if I don't pass finals in the spring then I won't be graduating." Red looks unbothered by her statement, but by how intently she's staring at me through the screen I can tell she's serious.

"Why couldn't you ask Kyle or Wendy?" I ask bluntly.

"Kyle and I aren't on speaking terms... and Wendy's busy with other things."

"Maybe I'm busy with 'other things'," I say and Red doesn't look the bit perturbed at my statement.

"Really. So do you always answer skype calls from people you don't usually speak to, the school's biggest whore at that?" I don't say anything to that and instead take a sip of the coffee I made earlier. "C'mon, please I really do need the help. You see this face I'm not smiling and I'm never not smiling." I almost choke on my coffee. I rest my mug on the marble island top beside my laptop.

"Is that a smile? It is, isn't." Red points out happily.

"No, and if you want me to tutor you, you're gonna have to be serious about this."

"So is that a yes? You'll tutor my fugly ass?"

"Maybe. I need to see if you're committed to actually learning, so I need you to show up at school tomorrow morning at 6:30 on the dot."

"What? Who comes to school at-who is even awake at that hour? School doesn't officially start until 8:30."

"But the school opens at 6:30 for the custodial staff to begin their daily processes." Red raises her eyebrows in curiosity, and I don't humor her, she doesn't need to know why and how I know that. "So be there or find someone else to tutor you."

"Fine," Red agrees after exhaling loudly, "I'll be there."

"Great. Meet me in the library 6:30 sharp." Red nods and I disconnect the call.

A tutor. I don't think I'm cut out to actually teach anyone. I know my stuff but to actually help someone else learn it, I know it's going to be tougher than it sounds. And do I really need this on my plate right now? With all the school work, club organizations, and Nichole? I doubt it, but I guess I can make it work long term, that is if Red shows up tomorrow morning.

* * *

I'm sitting at my usual table outside at a brand new Harbucks that opened over the summer, extra large vanilla bean creme frappe with extra creme in hand, a long red and black flannel shirt covers my arms to match my dark wash jeans and brown knee-length boots. I didn't bother wearing any type of jewelry and instead pushed a pair of dark large square framed sun glasses over my eyes. I've gotten here at my designated time and Skylar should be here soon. Surprisingly, he's been consistent with meeting me at the specific times I set. I take a long sip of my frappe and it tastes so fucking good. I feel bad for the customers that were behind me, that didn't get to taste anything similar to this.

The red haired girl who made my order left immediately after she made my drink, grabbed a book bag and quickly moved out the way only for a older nervous boy to take her place. He looked like he was going to piss himself at the line standing before him. That was just at 5:50 and I don't even blame him, people are savages before getting their morning cup of coffee. Looking through the window beside me I see that the line is still long, but the boy seems to be holding his own.

"Nice of you to show up," I comment as Skyler slides into the seat in front of me. And I couldn't help, but say something snarky to a grim faced Skyler as he takes a long swig of his similar vanilla bean creme frappe in front of him. He just glares at me and I hide my smile behind my own drink, "What crawled up your ass?"

"Parents." Is all he says and a bit hesitant at that.

"You live with your parents again?"

"Temporarily while I'm here...for the time being." I don't like the way that sounded. What does he mean 'for the time being'.

"You don't plan to stay in South Park?"

"No, I'm just not staying with my parents any longer than I have to. I love em' and came back to visit them, but I need my own space."

"How long have you really been back?" I decide to ask. I heard that Skyler was back for a while.

"Not long. Back and forth from LA. This is actually the longest I've stayed in a while."

"Well, thank you for helping me with this."

"No problem, ts' for an old friend." Hmmm old friend.

"Do you think you'd have to go back to LA soon?"

"Trying to get rid of me?" And he doesn't sound like a kicked puppy this time.

"I was wondering if…" I take a sip of my already half gone drink to think. "If I could go with you." Skyler raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"I don't know… what about school. You are still a college student right?"

"Yes, and I'm going back to campus later today, but can you make your next trip to LA sometime during December." Skyler doesn't seem to agree to this suggestion and stares intently at me as I explain myself, "I will be on winter break and you can take me to see Larry."

Skyler still looks skeptical and sits back, one arm hanging off the back of his chair, "I don't know, that's a long time to be away from LA seeing as it's only the middle of September now. But...I'll do it despite how compromising this is." I fight the urge to ask why being in LA is so important. Instead I give a small nod.

"Thanks. I'm most likely going to be done with finals and such around the first week so it's not going to be so much of a wait."

"Yeah, hopefully." He comments drinking more of his frappe and before I could stop myself I reach across the table, laying my palm on top of his hand.

Skyler stares at my hand before looking at me, "Don't stress it," I say. Skyler doesn't say anything, he just stares at me with this annoying blank face. My phone rings and I remove my hand to answer it. "Hey," I greet without looking at the caller I.D.

"Hey Shell," Casey's warm tone fills my ear and I smile at the thought of him somewhere probably looking stunning in snug grey sweater, a dark pair of designer jeans and boots.

"Hey, I was just about to leave home."

"Okay, well I will meet you in your dorm after my last class tonight."

"Sure, but only if Jessica isn't there. She's such a sore thumb sometimes." I mentally groan at the thought of my bestie.

Casey laughs and it's so warm that all I have the urge to do right now is run my hands through his brown quiff. But, alas, he's not here. "She's cool a bit weird, but no worries, if she is there we can just go back to mine."

"Ugh, and hang out with your frat brothers."

"No, we don't have to hang with them. We'll just go to my room or something."

"Sure." I say and I can tell Casey is practically rolling his eyes at my indecisive tone.

"Seriously Shell, I promise, cross my heart and all that."

"Okay," I laugh, "I believe you."

"Alright, well I'm gonna let you go now, see you soon."

"Okay, bye." I hang up and stare at my phone as Casey's picture disappears before pocketing it in my back pocket. I hear someone clear their throat and I look in front of me at Skyler. Admittedly I forgot he was still here, my mind was totally wrapped up in Casey. "Sorry-" I begin, but Skyler holds up his hand.

"No need to apologize. That's your boyfriend I assume?" I nod and we begin to collect our trash. I have to be on the road in the next two minutes if I wanna make my classes today. "Well, I'll see you later Shelly."

Its all Skyler says before departing and I notice that he didn't drive here as he makes his way down the street and I get inside of my red chevrolet cruze, watching as his figure disappears from my view.

* * *

"Hey, thanks for meeting me here."

"No problem I've been so swamped lately."

"I can tell," I say eyeing the many cups of coffee Wendy places on the long oak table between. Wendy looks so tired right now and it's only been two weeks. Wendy sees me staring as she grabs a cup for herself.

"Those are your dad's, I actually have to make a run down to his office in," She looks at her lavender wrist watch, "thirty minutes." I hold back my laughter at how frantic she is. I warned her about taking this internship, that it was going to be hell. My dad is one of the nicest people, but he's a perfectionist at heart. I nod not even questioning my dad's coffee chugging habits.

"Okay, I just wanted to talk about the senior winter getaway for a few minutes."

Wendy sits her empty coffee cup down, "I think all we have to do now is book the hotel and rooms. We also have to figure out who wants to bunk with who."

"Yes, that's the problem. I doubt school staff or whatever administrator comes with us on the trip will let girls and guys share a hotel room. And it's the question of how many should occupy a room."

"I agree and we should just ask everyone who they would want to bunk with. I would make a list and place people, but I'm swamped already."

"I think we should try to keep it under wraps until at least November. So, I think we should have some sort of lottery to decide who bunks with who."

"How would that work?" Wendy asks glancing at me shortly before typing quickly on her phone.

"I'll write a color on a each piece of paper for everyone in our year and put it in a bowl and just go around and have people pick."

"That may be a good idea. They'll have no idea what's going on, we can just say its for a research project." Wendy agrees as I make note of all of this on my phone.

"And I think it would be okay if only two people share a room. Principal Victoria gave me permission to book suites instead of single rooms."

"So four to a suite and two to a room. That's a plan. Well, everything should be set. We have transportation, a hotel, rooms, and activities." I nod and Wendy and I begin to pack.

"Are you seriously going to write a color on each paper? It's like _at least_ a hundred of us." I laugh. Yeah fucking right.

"Nope. I'm going to write the colors on a few pieces of paper and make copies. I'll get someone else to have people pick."

Wendy laughs, "Kyle, you can't make people walk around with bowls all day." I snort. I can and will.

"Minions Wendy, minions. And they are seriously _willing_ to do what I ask them to."

"I know, it is weird when someone literally wants you to boss them around. I don't mind the extra help, it's just kind of strange sometimes."

"What isn't at Park County High."

"Yep, I'll see you soon Kyle." Wendy waves before going out the back exit towards the student parking lot.

**(*)**

I continue out of the library's front exit and as I'm pushing the door open I spot someone all the way on the other side of the room from where Wendy and I were. Sitting alone at a table, books and a notebook spread out around her and staring at something on her phone is Red. I don't have anything to say to her since our last incident, so I continue out into the hallway. I'm on my way to the side exit of the school when I pass Token heading in the direction I just came from.

"Hey Toke," I stop and greet.

"Hey Kyle, what's up?"

"Nothing, just met with Wendy, but I'm about to go run off somewhere. Where are you headed?"

"To the library, to finish reading a couple chapters for Math."

"Oh," Is all I say before noticing something, "Where's your books?"

"I left them in the library I was here at around seven." Token says and I nod with a grin.

"And I thought I was addicted to work."

"Looks like I've got you beat, but anyway we'll talk later," Token says before continuing down the hall and into the grey metal library doors. I continue down the hall and out the side door. I pull a single cigarette out of my pack in my jacket pocket along with the silver skull lighter. I light up and inhale deeply. I put my lighter back into my bag and decide to take a walk around to the football field.

As I reach the football field I notice Coach Mick yelling at the football players to pick up their speed as they jog around the track. So much for walking, instead of getting ran down by the football players I go sit in the empty stands and smoke my cigarette. I don't smoke often, I smoke when I'm stressed or overwhelmed. And times like now when I just really need a good smoke to clear my mind. I watch the admittedly fit players run around the track for another twenty minutes before coach calls them in. They all stop and gather around in a circle to listen to something coach has to say. Coach Mick is a old coach in his mid 40s that has been doing this for most of his life.

He was a sports athlete (football, baseball, basketball, swimming, hockey, and track and field) all his life and still competes down at the local gym sometimes, and an awesome coach. He honestly doesn't even look his age, nor act like it. He constantly bitches about his ex wives and spoils his two labrador dogs. He sometimes brings them to practice with him and everyone loves them. He's hilarious, but doesn't take shit from anyone, and he pushes us so fucking hard but it pays off. Park County has won the championships on all sport teams for five years and counting. We're the best and everyone hates us for it. Even Coach Candice (one of Coach Mick's ex-wives) is great at her job. Our cheerleading team kicks ass (literally) and it's because Candice doesn't take shit not even from Mick.

I look at the hot cheerleaders complete their routines for the uptenth time since I've been sitting here. They hold their poses and stance with bright smiles on their faces. I can literally see the sweat dripping from their bodies in their short dark blue and silver spandex workout shorts and tops and black sneakers. I wonder what their captain had to say to get out of practice. Taking Wendy's place is Bebe her co-captain.

"Mellissa, you are too stiff. Its not supposed to be so stiff! Losen up your muscles, but not too much. Like this," Bebe does a fast example of how the move is supposed to go, "It's supposed to look a bit sultry after the first jump and handstand flip. Now, I want all of you to thank Ashley, Mellie, and Melissa for having to do this again. The girls groan and glare at the three girls. "I'm not saying this so you can pick on them. No, you need to get your team members in check and help them get in line, not harass them. Because if one of us messes up then what?" Bebe asks loudly.

"Then all of us messed up!" The girls shout.

"And if one of us looks bad?"

"Then we all look bad!"

"Yes, now on the count of three start over. One, two, three!" The girls redo their routines and it looks great, nobody misses a beat and Bebe watches them intently, biting her pink glossed bottom lip. I know for sure that if she doesn't get them ready for this afternoon when Coach Candice shows up it'll be her and her best friend's ass on the line.

My attention is suddenly diverted to the football field as I hear the sound of loud laughing. I notice that the group has dispersed and practice is over as some players head to the locker room, some stand on the field to talk, and coach treks across the field to his RAM 1500 that he parks behind the gym.

"Broflovski!" I hear someone shout at me and I look down to see Clyde on the track in front of me with a grin adorning his face.

I stand and make my way off of the huge bleachers and down to the track, "Sup, how was practice?" I ask and Clyde pushes me as I laugh.

"Horrible and as usual I feel like my legs are about to fall off." Clyde complains and my smile widens.

"Its not so bad," I say with a hard clap on Clyde's back.

"Not everyone is a track star." Someone comments behind me. Turning around I see Stan walking around me. And Clyde's muscles visibly tenses as Stan stands beside him and looks at me.

"True." I say simply as Stan shifts, his abs showing through the dark blue sleeveless compression shirt. I turn my attention to Clyde again. "The first game is this Friday right?"

"Yep, yeah," Clyde says quickly, "Can't wait."

"First game of the season is the most exciting and the best. Aside from championships."

"Right," And I know Clyde is only being awkward because the air is obviously tense with Stan standing inches away from me.

"I was thinking about inviting the guys out to Shakey's or that new sports restaurant that just opened in town."

"Yeah, I heard about that." Clyde acknowledges, but doesn't give me a direct answer. I know it's because Stan.

"I want to invite you and Stan." I say and Clyde brightens instantly.

"Yeah okay, that's cool."

"I'm actually going out with Wendy after the game Friday." Stan says bluntly.

"That's cool, well I'll see you there Clyde?" I ask unfazed by Stan's answer.

"Right, I'll be there." Clyde agrees and Stan walks away and Clyde gives me a mock salute before following.

**(*)**

I take my leave as well and walk past the cheerleaders towards the front side of the school. I shoot a smile at the girls that greet me and ignore Bebe's silent glare as she calls the girls to do one more routine. My finger itches for another cigarette, but I push it down and continue walking. I'm honestly not worried about whether Stan will actually show up or not. But by knowing him for majority of my life, I know he most likely will. But then again I _don't_ know him anymore, so it could go either way. I'm still clinging to the knowing feeling that he will. Why? Because he'll be a fucking thorn in my plans if he doesn't show up. I have to get Stan to feel like we're making some progress and that I actually want to fix things between us. I really don't give a shit, but I have to at least pretend to.

I didn't lie when I said Heidi's party made me think about our little 'feud'. It made me realize that it can only be one of us. I've come to the conclusion that South Park and Park County High aren't big enough for the two of us...not anymore. I got to get rid of the golden asshole. I'm not going as low as to stoop down to Cartman levels, but the best way would be to just ruin Stan completely. To leave him with no one...but me. To put the last nail in the coffin that is Stanley Marsh. I enter the front doors of the school and smile to myself as I make my way to homeroom. I knew it the moment I came up with it that _this_ plan would be golden.


	16. Dark Night Sky

Dark Night Sky

* * *

"Hello, this is Wendy Testaburger on behalf of Broflovski P.C. how may I assist you?"

I hold back my laughter, "Yes, I'm looking for representation." I ask trying to make my voice as indistinguishable as I possibly can.

"Okay, sir I can switch you over to someone who can assist you-"

"Its ma'am! What kind of law firm is this? You have seriously offended me, I think I should take my business elsewhere."

"I'm sorry ma'am. Broflovski P.C. is a excellent choice for any type of representation you may need for legal matters. I will be sure to put you through to one of our legal representatives."

"Actually, I have a very specific matter."

"Okay, well I am confident that we can provide you-"

"For my cat. My _cat_ needs representation, not me." There is a moment of pause. "Hello, are you still there? My cat is in dire need of a lawyer immediately."

"Okay, may I have your name and contact information?" Wendy asks after a brief hesitation.

"Jacklyn assnat. And my cat's name is Wilmer the blue." I open up the monster energy drink on my desk and take a sip as Wendy probably writes down the info. I glance over my cubicle to the Wendy's on the opposite side of the room. She looks as irritated as I knew she would be. She's close to snapping the pen in her thin fingers as she furiously scribbles on a notepad.

"Also do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"No."

"You don't sound too enthusiastic, and this is a very important question."

"I'm sorry ma'am how may I assist you," Wendy says in clear fake enthusiasm.

"Yes, well, my dear, is your...refrigerator running?" Wendy gasps and I burst with laughter, "Well, you better go catch it!" I slam the black phone down on its hook and shake with laughter. This was childish as fuck, but I couldn't help myself.

I pretend to occupy myself as Wendy comes barging across the room to my cubicle.

"Was that you?"

"What?" I ask taking a gulp of my monster.

"You know what I am talking about," Wendy stresses and I only glance at her as she glares at me furiously.

I turn back around in my desk chair, "I don't know what you are talking about Wendy," I say as I click around on my computer, finishing some paperwork Gerald wanted me and Wendy to complete for him.

"The caller I just got, I know it was you."

"It wasn't. And as you can see I'm busy."

"Just stop it Cartman. Stop playing these childish games. Stop messing with me."

"I'm not messing with you."

"Cartman." Wendy says exasperatedly.

"Wendy." I say back, mocking her tone.

"Ugh!" Wendy storms away and my lips quirk up in a smirk as I type a few things in before printing a few files out.

Wendy is just way too fun to mess with. She doesn't get upset as quickly as others would, so when she eventually does it's more rewarding. When I first saw Wendy in the waiting room outside of Gerald Broflovski's office I knew this would be interesting. Wendy's top notch and intelligent and I knew for sure that Gerald would be stupid not to give her this position, but I can be very persuasive as well. And to make a long story short he had no choice, but to give us both the internship spot.

And what better than to have two people at your every beck and call. To say Wendy was pleased would be a huge overstatement. She believes I'm here just to irritate her, and I'm seriously not. I didn't even know Wendy was going after the same position until I walked into the waiting room that Monday afternoon.

**(*)**

Looking at the notepad in front of me I realize I made a note to make copies of the files I just printed. I leave my cubicle and make the short walk to grab the files off of one of the shared printers in the middle of the room. I glance at Wendy who is typing furiously before clicking a couple times. I head to the copy room and begin making copies of these god forsaken files. I take my sleek phone out of my black slacks pocket and check my personal emails and quickly answer a few texts.

At the sound of heels clacking on the floor I look up from my phone, noticing Wendy as she enters and swiftly moves past me to an empty copy machine. After she sets up which files to copy she just stands there and glares at the machine. I focus my attention on my phone again, letting her brood. It was just a fucking joke.

"You know, you are such a douche bag." Wendy says at last.

"And you can't take a joke," I retort.

"I can take a joke. You do things like this too often for it to be considered joking, it's just disrespect at this point."

I snort, "Wendy, chill. I'm not disrespecting you."

"You are. I'm telling you that you are, so you are!"

"Alright, calm down. I'm sorry okay." I say and she doesn't say anything. She just flips her pin straight hair over her right shoulder with a huff. She wasn't expecting me to apologize. I'm not that much of a douche. That's a lie, I can be a huge douche.

"I'm sorry as well," Wendy finally says, "I am just really stressed out. This internship is really important to me and I don't want anything or anyone to ruin this for me."

"This is important to me too, but you can't always take things too seriously. Loosen up a bit."

"I can't. I need to stay focused." Wendy insists.

"You can and you need to or you'll feel burnt out."

"I won't and I'm fine."

I grab my stack of files and face Wendy, "You're not. You have a lot on your plate right now and you can't eat it all at once. You're not some type of superhero."

"What do you suggest I do then _Eric_" Wendy says and her tone is biting. I guess I really did piss her off earlier.

"Well, for starters you should go out. Have some fun, it'll get your mind off of work and other bullshit things."

"I have fun," Wendy comments as she grabs her files from the copy machine before putting more on.

"You look like you don't know the meaning of the word 'fun'. You're so uptight."

"I'm not."

"You are, just admit it."

"I won't admit to something that's not true." I smirk, "I've just been really focused lately."

"Yeah," I say not buying it, "Focused."

"Just because I don't live to party doesn't mean I'm not fun."

"You're right, but really," Wendy looks at me, "Just do _something_ other than work for one night. Let loose or at least sit at home and binge on a bowl cheesy poofs and netflix." I grab the original files and all of my finished copies before leaving. I drop the files off to Gerald and he dismisses me for the day.

* * *

"Alright, ladies, we're up by two and we've got about five minutes on the clock. That's still enough time for them to turn it around, so I need y'all to keep things steady. Make sure those prep school pansies don't score another goddamn point," We all nod and break apart.

First game of the season and to say we are prepared is an understatement. We got this underwraps. Even our cheerleaders are at their usual best tonight. They're doing a awesome job hyping the crowd up. I still can't believe how many people actually turn up at our games. How many people scream our names and numbers and cover themselves in our school colors and glitter.

I couldn't believe it as a freshmen and it's still surreal as a senior. I love it, all of it. We get back in place on the field and the opposing team-Achers Preparatory Academy quarterback makes eye contact with me. I smirk at his heated glare. We're gonna win, I don't have to waste my time talking shit, I don't give a fuck how they feel.

"Better wipe that smirk off your face Marsh." Captain Archie Pears spits. I ignore him and it seems to piss him off even more, "Cocky bastard."

"Yeah, alright." I mutter to myself as everyone settles in place.

**(*)**

I'm not cocky. And the satisfied grin that adorns my face as the crowd screams in praise as the buzzer sounds is not mocking. But honestly... maybe it is. Maybe I _am _cocky, but for good reason. The cheerleaders complete perfect double and triple flips and back hand stands causing the opposing team's cheerleading team to turn away in embarrassment and envy. The crowd goes wild again and I shake the hands with Archie and he grips my hand tightly before letting it go. Archers trek off the field and back to their buses completely salty and we make our way to the locker room. I pass by Wendy on my way to the locker room and kiss her as she congratulates us on the win. I hide a smile at all the girls awing at us.

"Thanks babe," I whisper in her ear before pulling away, "Meet me in the parking lot in ten." She nods and I head to the locker room. I change out of my football gear and shower first. I wrap my white towel around my waist and go back to the lockers to change. I feel an arm sling across my shoulder and I look over to see Clyde, still clad in his uniform.

"Awesome first game of the season. Great way to start off the season, did you see their captain's face? Pure Gold!"

I laugh out loud, "Yeah, maybe instead of talking shit, they should work on their speed." I comment causing Clyde to chuckle.

"Right, I passed right past that burly dude in the second quarter. But anyway, I'm bout' to hit the showers. Oh, and are you sure you still don't want to come hang with us after the game?"

"I don't think so. I mean Wendy wanted to hang out, so…"

"Hey, I get it, go be with your girl, but if you change your mind you know where to find us." Clyde says before high fiving somebody behind me and yelling at someone on the other side of the locker room as he makes his way to the showers.

**(*)**

I continue to get dress in a pair of dark jeans and a hurley dri-fit adams pullover. I slide my sock covered foot into my all black nike's before grabbing my duffle and saying my goodbyes to the team and coach. I quickly make my way to the parking lot and as I reach my car I spot Wendy waiting with her dark blue and silver glitter duffle bag. She looks as pretty as usual dressed in a pair of fit black sweat pants and a dark blue pullover hoodie with Park County Cheer Team written on the back in silver and the words CAPTAIN in cursive red glitter.

"Hi," She says simply as she hugs me and I hug her back, kissing her forehead before opening the door and letting her in. I go over to the driver's side and get in before turning on some music. I settle on _Don't by Bryson Tiller_ and pull out of the almost empty parking lot. A few minutes of driving we stop at a red light and I feel Wendy's hand take mine.

"So, what do you wanna do tonight," I ask as she just holds my hand.

"Actually, since this is your first game...I want you to go out with your friends."

"Uhm, okay," I say kinda surprised, "I thought you wanted to hangout with me?" The light turns green and I continue to drive.

"I do. I did, but this is your night and you should spend it with your friends, to celebrate your first win of the season."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I'll figure something out." Wendy says with a smile.

"Fine, I really thought we were going to hangout." I say trying not to let on how annoyed I am about this new change of plans.

"I'm sorry, I promise we can hangout next time."

"Whenever that is," I mutter.

"Soon, I really need some time alone tonight. I've been working really hard and neglecting myself." Me too. But I not going to say that, and sound like a selfish prick.

"Okay," I say nodding in understanding, "Do you want me to drop you off at home?"

"Yeah, I rode with Bebe to the game." I nod shortly and within the next fifteen minutes I pull into Wendy's driveway.

"See you later Stan." Wendy says softly before kissing me on the lips just as soft. I wait until Wendy gets inside of her house before pulling out of her driveway. I debate just going home, but I rather not be at home and pretend everything is alright with my dad being gone and my mom working crazy hours of the week. I don't even have Shelly as company since she's gone back to staying in her dorm.

Instead with a sigh I decide to head to the new sports restaurant the guy's are supposed to be hanging out at. I have no idea why Kyle even invited me. We agreed to not fight or whatever, but invitations to hang out together? I don't think we're nowhere near that point. I can't erase four years or rather three and a half years of bullshit.

This kinda sucks. I really don't want to deal with Kyle tonight, he's sure to fuck up my mood. I try to drown my thoughts in my music as I breeze through downtown South Park. I make it to the restaurant in twenty minutes and park in the crowded parking lot. I walk inside and am bombarded by the sounds of laughter and yelling and partygoers. The large flat screens that are placed everywhere are all playing different sports games and this place looks really cool. I spot a familiar messy golden blonde haired Kenny and immediately head in that direction. As I walk over I'm immediately spotted by Clyde.

"Hey!" he cheers, "Stan, you made it."

"Hey, yeah Wendy wanted to do her own thing tonight, so I decided to show up."

"Great." Craig says and makes a whipping motion towards me, "She just extended your leash a few inches."

"Leash?" Kenny asks and the smirk on his face proves his thoughts are anything but innocent.

"Imaginary, you perv," Token inputs.

"What's wrong with actual leashes though?" Kenny continues. "I think they're hot. I was watching porn the other night and the thumbnail on the suggested video page was of this girl with a leash tied around her neck, chained to what look like a wooden board."

"There is so many things wrong with what you just said." Tweek says with a shake of his head.

"Did you watch it?" Craig asks curiously and shrugs at the look of confusion we all give him and the look of horror Tweek shoots him.

"Why? I didn't peg you as being so kinky Craig."

"What I do in my personal time is of no concern of anyone." Craig replies smoothly.

"Nice to know I'm not the only perv in the group."

"No, it's still just you." Token says after drinking from his coke. "We all have our own personal things, but you're more vocal about it."

"And more willing to enact your perverted fantasies on others," Tweek says with a shudder.

"Kenny is just more straightforward about what he wants." Kyle in all his glory finally speaks up since I've sat down.

"Thank you my fair redhead friend."

"That's one way to put it." Craig amends.

"Why are we talking about kinks and fetishes? This isn't a sex club or chat forum." Clyde says.

"I agree," I say and a gorgeous dark skin waiteress who looks to be twenty dressed in all black comes up to the table to ask my drink and food order. I order a coke and a bacon cheeseburger with fries and she quickly jots it down.

As she begins to hurry away she is stopped by Kyle who taps on her shoulder from beside Kenny who is to the left of me.

"Can I get a refill," He asks and the girl nods writing that down and Kyle stares at her the entire time. I know the girl can feel his stare on her as her fingers fidget nervously as she writes quickly.

"Thank you," Kyle says in that gross charming voice of his. The girl nods nervously before hurrying away. Yeah, get_ far_, far away from him.

"Stan." I hear someone call.

"Yeah," I ask tuning in.

"Would you ever fuck a guy?" Kenny promptly asks me.

"What?" I ask stunned. What the fuck?

"We're playing a game where if you do whatever the person before you asks then you can choose someone else to ask to answer or do stuff."

"So, truth or dare?"

"Sorta, but the person who chooses you decides what you have to do. Any questions outside of the person who asks you is fine as long as it's about the same thing."

"It's the same thing." Token says to which Craig promptly disagrees. Our waitress quickly returns with my drink and with a smile I take a quick gulp. She carefully sits Kyle's new drink in front of him and he shoots her another deathly charming smile and she reciprocates shyly before leaving. As she walks away Kyle obviously checks her out before looking in my direction. I quickly turn away and tune back into what the guys are talking about.

"-That doesn't matter. I picked Stan and he has to answer the question or he has to hump that plant by the front door." I look in that general direction at where I first entered and where a group of pretty girls are sitting in a booth and sipping fruity drinks.

"So, what's it gonna be Stanny?" Kenny asks after putting me between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to answer that crazy question and I don't want to die of embarrassment.

"Fine. No, I would never fuck a guy."

"So, does that also mean you would never bottom either?" Kenny, always the little shit asks.

"Yes." I say roughly, hoping he would drop this.

"Hey, just a question, buddy." I shrug and continue drinking my coke.

"Whatever, I pick Tweek." Tweek looks at me as I ask, "If you had a choice between being in a room with a lion that hadn't eaten in twenty years or in a tank of piranhas which would you choose?"

Tweek thinks about it for a moment, "I'm gonna go with the lion."

"What? I would go with the piranhas all the way! At least you wouldn't be ravaged by a hungry lion." Clyde comments.

"But with piranhas it would take longer, and you would die a slow and painful death, but with a lion it will be more quicker."

"You're both idiots," Craig says and I notice that he has been quiet for a while, "The best choice is the lion, but it's not because you would be killed faster. Think about it, a lion that was starved for twenty years, it's surely dead."

"Well, that's a head twister," Kenny comments and the game continues until our food comes. We then eat and talk about random subjects.

"Hey, what was it you said Cartman had to do?"

"He said he had to finish his English book report. It was due today, but Mrs. Green extended it for him." Kenny says before taking a bite of his butterfly shrimp.

"That was due today?" I totally forgot about that. I did like half of it but I didn't think it was due this Friday with our first home game and all. "I am gonna bomb English this semester."

"No, your not, you can still catch up," Token says and that gives me a bit of hope.

"Maybe you can find someone to tutor you." Clyde suggests before stuffing a nacho in his mouth.

"Probably, but I am doing well in my other classes it's just I haven't been able to keep up with my work in English. I think if I just focus more on Mrs. Green's homework then I'll be fine."

"And neglect your other subjects?"

"No. I don't want a tutor. I don't have time for it, and the only tutors at our school are uptight ninth and tenth graders who want extra credit in their classes. Besides where am I even going to find a tutor who can fit my schedule."

"I can do it." Kyle says and everyone immediately shifts their attention on him.

"Wha-" Tweek starts only to be halted by Craig squeezing his arm.

"I don't think so," I say finally finding my voice. "I just don't think it would be okay." Kyle just shrugs at my indecisive tone.

"Stan," Kenny says and I look at him. His face is void of any amusement, his blue eyes serious, "Just take the offer. You need the help, and Kyle is really good." I roll my eyes and try to ignore the hardening off Kenny's gaze as I look away.

"No." I say, "I will be okay in my classes." My decision is final and after a moment I grab my phone off of the table and stand.

"Where are you going," Token is the first to break the silence.

"Outside to make a call."

"Stan-" Kenny tries, but I ignore him and make my way out of one of the side exits.

**(*)**

As I push open the large glass door I am immediately greeted by the cool September air. Even with my pullover on the wind still seeps in. I don't need Kyle's help, I'll be fine. Besides I can find a tutor from outside of school or some other school probably. Someone who doesn't give a shit about my reputation. Pulling out my phone I go through texts from random people and reply.

I chuckle lightly at Connor's short text '_Call me, you douche_' with an obnoxious kissy face emoji at the end. After I go to my contacts and call mom and the phone rings, rings, rings... and rings. When I hear her voicemail answer I hang up. She's probably busy tonight, but really it isn't any different than any other night. My phone vibrates in my hand and I see that it's my dad.

He calls the house everyday, but I guess since no one's home he's calling me. I haven't really spoke to him since he left, and I'm not about to start now. I just let the phone vibrate in my hand and watch as his name disappears and the missed call notification appears. I sigh deeply and let my head knock lightly against the brick wall behind me. This is not the way I imagined my senior year going.

"What's wrong?" A voice asks suddenly and scaring the shit out of me. I look beside me and spot Kyle leaning against the brick wall a couple meters away. He has a long white cigarette between his mouth and uses a lighter with at a skull on top to light up. He takes a drag and doesn't look at me.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"Then-" I stop abruptly. What is he playing at? He continues to smoke his cigarette and I watch the smoke fleet into the cool air. "Look, if you came out here just to convince me to let you tutor me you're wasting your time." I decide to say.

"Don't flatter yourself." He says simply.

"I don't have to. I'm not conceited."

"And I am?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I stare at him, but he doesn't even look my way. Eventually I lean back against the wall and try to ignore his looming presence to the left of me. The air is so tense right now, I can't take it, but I'm not leaving. I was here first.

After at least fifteen minutes I'm becoming more annoyed. The bastard is doing nothing, but smoking his cigarettes and I'm freezing. Fuck it, I'm going back in. I move away from the wall and begin making my way back through the side exit. Only to be pushed roughly against the wall I previously occupied. I'm now faced to face with a expressionless Kyle as he takes a drag from his cigarette. The smoke infiltrates my nostrils as he releases it from his red lips, my eyes lock with his as he pushes me further against the wall.

He places the hand that still holds his cigarette beside my head as it burns between his fingers, but he doesn't seem to mind, he's more preoccupied with staring at me. It's so fucking uncomfortable like he's trying to figure me out, his intense green eyes boring into mine. I look away from him and try to push him away, but fuck he's as solid as stone. I continue to push at him, but he stands firm and eventually when I prove unrelenting he grabs my wrists in a aching grip. I grit my teeth as he lets my wrist go after holding it in a vice like grip.

"You know what I hate about you? I hate how proud you are. How perfect you pretend to be." Perfect? Far from it. I don't say anything though and continue to look away. This proves to just annoy Kyle as his pale long fingers grabs my jaw, turning me towards him. He continues to glare at me and I need to get away from him, but I can't. And I hate this realization, that Kyle may _possibly_ be stronger than me. Similar to me he's not scrawny nor buff, he's just slim and fit. The way his red hair contrasts _greatly_ against the night sky and complements his dark attire it gives him a slightly intimidating look.

The only thing that holds any color other than black is his maroon v-neck that hugs his slim frame underneath his black leather jacket. "I'm not done talking," He says roughly before releasing my jaw, "This is what's going to happen, you are going to agree to let me tutor your stubborn ass." I wanted to snort and laugh at the fucker, but although, Kyle's face is blank of any emotion his eyes dare me to do so. "You're going to work within _my_ schedule and show up at the times _I_ set. If I'm going to do this you better be fucking sure you really want to or else you'll just be wasting my time."

"No, I'm not-"

"Do you want my fucking help or not?" Kyle asks and I just stare at him. As much as I hate it I do need the help and Kyle _is_ one of the smartest people in our school. I would ask Wendy, but she's been so busy lately, she wouldn't have the time to hangout with and tutor me. I look away in defeat and I can hear the smugness in Kyle's voice as he speaks, "Give me your number." I look at Kyle in surprise and he merely rolls eyes before I spew out the ten numbers and he quickly puts it in his phone. I watch as his long fingers continue to fleet over his phone and barely register when they had stopped.

"What?" I ask for what feels like the millionth time today. He doesn't say anything, and he's not glaring at me, but why does he keep staring at me? Is there something on my face? His green eyes search my face for something, but then he stops and moves back. I quickly move away from him and head back inside alone.

**(*)**

"Hey Stan, what took you so long?" Clyde asks and I notice that some of the food is placed in to go boxes. I smile lightly at the fact that they didn't let anyone throw my food away while I was gone. "My dad called since I've been dodging his calls at home."

"How'd it go?"

"It was okay, he doesn't know when he'll be back though." I lie smoothly and everyone nods and Clyde claps me on the back. "But thanks, I think I'm going to head out," I reach into my jeans pocket to front up my portion of the bill, but I'm stopped by Craig.

"Kyle already paid. We were all about to leave anyway." He picks up his own to go box and stands. Everyone follows suit and begin to head towards the side exit. Kenny picks up Kyle's box and walks with me out to the front.

"You rode with Kyle?"

"Yep, I'm staying over his tonight, to hangout with him and Ike."

"That's cool. God I am so shot right now." I say with a yawn.

"Me too, but great game tonight."

"Thanks Ken."

"And...I'm sorry if I went too far earlier with the game and all."

"No worries. Your question shocked me is all."

Kenny lightly chuckles and stands next to me outside the front doors, "That was the point."

"Would you ever…" I ask and Kenny grins at me.

"Yeah, I totally would." His reply doesn't shock me. I'm cool with whatever, but I thought Kenny was as straight as a pole. "And you were serious when you said that you would never?" Kenny asks a moment later and he's quiet so he doesn't risk the chance of us being overheard. I think about this.

Can I trust Kenny? I know I can trust Kenny, but could I really trust Kenny with _this_? I shake my head, I've never told a soul and don't plan to, I haven't even thought about this in so fucking long. Am I attracted to guys? I don't have an answer to that. But there was him, it was _always_ fucking him.

"No, I don't think so, but if I am you'd be the first to know."Kenny nods and hugs me tight and I hug him back before he heads off to wherever Kyle parked his car.

I get inside my car and drive home in silence. Once my head hits my soft pillows at home I wish I could just be blank. Blank of everything in my life, blank like a sheet of copy paper, blank like Kyle's expression when he looks at me... but maybe right now I can just settle for being as blank and dark like the sky is tonight.


	17. Trust Me

Trust Me

* * *

"Hey Sharon, thanks for staying late again. We _really _need an extra pair of hands tonight." I smile at Brad he's a really nice guy and absolutely adorable. He just graduated with his bachelors in nursing about two years ago and moved to South Park soon after and has worked at Hell's Pass ever since. And I can undoubtedly refer to him as one of my best friends and we tend to lean on each other during crazy times.

"No, problem. I know what it's like to be understaffed or to not even have any rooms available." Brad visibly cringes at the thought and I laugh at his horrified expression.

"Are you about to take your break?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I suppose I can take my break 15 minutes early." Brad says with a smirk, "What do you have in mind?"

"Not cafeteria food that's for sure. I ordered something from this great thai place."

"Got enough for two?"

"Always."

Brad and I don't hesitate to go pick up the food at the front desk after I receive a message that it's arrived. We stop and chat at Alice (the secretary) for a couple minutes before heading to our floor's empty coffee room. We sit in the hard plastic chairs at the small pink and grey table closest to the TV on the wall.

"Yes, reruns! I wasn't able to watch this tonight."

I glance at the TV briefly while chewing, "What is this? The housewives?"

"No, _Love and Hip Hop_." I groan at the familiar name. I actually sat through an episode with Shelly one night. Honestly, the worst 60 minutes of my life. "What? I love this show! It's just so much drama. Darren hates it, but I couldn't give a flying hoot."

"Darren has his head on straight." I say and Brad rolls his eyes and tries to hide a fond smile behind his food at the mention of his fiancée.

"Darre has been a pain in my ass for the past few days about wanting to start planning our wedding. We just got in engaged and I'm not ready to jump the gun yet."

I nod, "Yeah, me and Randy got married two months after he proposed. You have the right idea to want to wait a while."

"How is it going with you and Randy?"

"He's still in Denver on business, but he calls everyday so we talk. It's just weird that he's not home right now. I know I've been working crazy hours it's just that-"

Brad puts his hand on mine, "Look, you do not have to apologize for doing what you love. I know how much you care about your job and I know it means alot to you. That's one of the first things me and Darren talked about when we officially became a couple. That our work lives are going to be hectic with me being a nurse and Darren a doctor. But then we vowed to never let our work lives create chaos in our personal lives."

"And it works?" I ask seriously and I don't feel weird asking a 22 year old this because since I've known Brad he's always seemed wise beyond his years despite his occasional childish antics. He just shrugs with a smile and the coffee room door opens and in walks Darren.

"Hi babe." Brad says as Darren kisses him on the head.

"Hey Sharon," Darren greets as he messes up Brad's hair.

"Hey, how is it going?" Darren sighs heavily.

"Hectic, but I had a few moments and decided to grab some coffee."

"Well nice of you to stop by." Brad says squeezing Darren's hand and he squeezes back before saying his goodbyes and promises for all of us to meet up this weekend. Its been a few weeks, with our crazy schedules this month.

Brad and I finish up eating and I look at the blue Broncos watch on my wrist seeing that we only have five minutes left of our break.

"I'm just going to go wash my hands, I'll be back." Brad nods absently as he stares at the tv.

**(*)**

I quickly go to the restroom and wash my hands before heading back to the coffee room. But as I'm walking down the hallway I glance down a side corridor and am surprised to see someone shaking the vending machine.

"Hey, do you need any help?" I ask and by the looks of it I startled the guy. The man instantly stops and looks at me.

"Yeah," He agrees and I walk up to the large bulky monster and jiggle it two times before knocking on it hard once. I smile triumphantly at the sound of something falling within the vending machine.

The man reaches down and removes what looks like a large kit kat bar. "Thank you," he says and I smile. His voice is so deep.

"No problem, this old thing always gives me problems."

"These things never work in my favor. So, that's some technique you have."

"Technique? Yeah right, just something I figured out last time my cheez-it's got stuck in there."

"Either way it works. So are you a nurse here?" The man shrugs and I have to stop myself from smiling.

"Yeah, I was actually on my break. And are you here for someone?" I ask taking notice of his pin straight black slacks, white iron pressed dressed shirt, and immaculate shoes and hair. He looks admittedly...really good.

"Yes, just visiting a friend and decided to get something on the way out." I nod in understanding, "I actually just moved here. For my new job and all." He continues conversationally.

"Oh, what do you do?" I ask curiously.

"I'm a teacher." He states proudly.

"Well, good luck."

"Thanks, I'm going to need it with all the papers I'll be grading. But I love what I do, a lot of people complain about the students and the time and work you have to put in, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."

"Good to meet more dedicated people like you…"

"Blake. Blake Warrick. And yeah, why do it if you don't like it you know?"

"Exactly." I agree and Blake has a really nice face. Really nice smile too. Why is this even standing out to me? I've seen good looking guys and guys I would even go as far as to call 'hot', but I never felt the need to actually admit to this.

"Well, I should head out then, but I hope to see you around Sharon." He says with a charming smile.

**(*)**

Blake moves out of the small corridor and down a hall I follow shortly in the opposite direction. Looking at my watch I hurry back to the coffee room, but am met halfway by Brad.

"Hey, I thought you were coming back?"

"I was, I just got tied up with something."

Brad nods and we make our way back to our posts and rooms we are supposed to be in.

Is it wrong for me to hope I see this Blake guy again? I ask myself this continuously as I continue my shift and even as I'm driving home at 12:00am on what is now a Tuesday morning. He seemed like a nice guy and I wouldn't mind running into him again. When I'm home I quietly enter my bedroom and quickly go inside of my cold bathroom to shower. After about ten minutes I get out and throw on my nightgown before finally laying down to rest. Only as I begin to drift off do I realize that I never told him my name.

* * *

"Ugh, no!" I groan as the alarm I set on my phone blares in my ear. I find the forsaken device somewhere in my covers and glare at it. I forgot to charge it last night so the battery reads 15 percent. I rub the blurriness out of my eyes and maneuver out of my bed and grab the charger off of my nightstand and plug the my phone up. As I charge it a instagram notification pops up on my phone and its picture of Kenny dressed in a black suit jacket, no shirt, and in light blue boxer briefs and an exaggerated duck face. The caption he put at the bottom reads: _#I Woke Up Like This_ and I laugh all the way to the bathroom at it's ridiculousness. I shower and do all of my usual bathroom things, brush my hair and dress in a navy baseball tee, a pair of black jeans, and Nikes. Grabbing my phone, bag, and stuffing clean workout clothes in my duffle bag I leave my room and head downstairs to the kitchen.

Although, I stop in the living room when I spot my mom lying asleep on the sofa.

"Mom," I call and I move her hair out of her face. She doesn't wake so I grab the silky gray blanket and drape it around her. I turn up the heat on the thermostat a bit so she doesn't freeze to death while down here. She must have came home late again last night and was too tired to go upstairs. I admire how hard my mom works. I love that she's doing something she loves, but I miss her around the house. Shelly visits almost every weekend, but I miss my mom's cheeriness around the house. Nowadays she looks drained even though she tries to put on a brave and optimistic face. I decide to forgo anything in the kitchen and quietly leave the house.

I pull out of my driveway and make my way to school singing along to my music to try to keep myself awake. As per usual I didn't really get any sleep last night, having not fell asleep until 2am this morning. I stop at a Quiktrip gas station close by the school and jump out to pay for gas and grab a Monster and a sausage, egg and cheese croissant, and a new pack of trident gum. I pay for my shit and pump my gas and within five minutes I enter the student parking lot.

I park next to a random red chevrolet and grab my bag and drink and stuff my packet of gum in my back pocket. I throw away my food in a trash bin, having eaten it during the five minute drive and continue to take sips of my energy drink. I stop and greet people and give the occasion nod of greeting as I make my way to my locker. Today feels pretty good, despite the fact that Kyle hasn't said a word to me about tutoring me. I put my bag up and grab the things I need for my next two periods.

"Hey Stan," A voice says from behind me. Closing my locker I turn my attention to Wendy.

"Hey," I greet simply and hug her back as she hugs me.

"So, where have you been?"

I take a sip of my drink, "I just got here."

"I know that," Wendy admonishes and I wish she'd just be direct with me. "Where have you been this week?"

"It's only Wednesday, and I've been around. It's you that been M.I.A."

"Maybe we should fix that." I raise my eyebrow in question and continue to drink from monster. "I realized that I've been neglecting our relationship and I think we should spend more time together."

"Okay, when?"

"After school," Wendy says quickly. "After practice of course."

"Alright, but what about your other clubs and organizations?" I finish my energy drink and throw it in a nearby bin.

"Don't worry about that. You are more important." I smile lightly at how determined Wendy looks right now.

"You are too." I reply and she kisses me before tracing her thumb over my cheek. I lean forward and kiss Wendy again, but longer. I'm so wrapped up in Wendy and her pink lips that I barely register someone clearing their throat loudly from beside us.

"What?" I ask a bit slurred as I depart from Wendy's lips. Shockingly enough it's mr. conceited himself.

"Hi Kyle," Wendy greets happily, turning around to face Kyle.

"Can I borrow Stan for a moment." Kyle asks, not even bothering with formalities. And if Wendy was confused or thrown off by Kyle she doesn't show it.

She just smiles at a stoic Kyle and kisses me once more before leaving. I watch her leave before focusing my attention on Kyle. Before I can begin to ask what he wanted he speaks, "Our first tutuoring session starts after school. Meet on the top floor of the library."

"I can't, I'm meeting Wendy after practice."

"Too bad, cancel."

"I promised I'd be with her."

"And I really don't give a shit. Look, I'm taking time out of my life to help you, the least you can do is show the fuck up." And with that Kyle storms off into the crowd of people in the hall. A minute later the bell rings and I make no move to head to class.

**(*)**

"Sad."

"What is?" I ask as Cartman makes his way towards me.

"The fact that you can't prioritize." I glare at Cartman as he stands in front of me.

"What?" Cartman shakes his head at my obvious cluelessness.

"Hippie look, you made plans with Wendy right, but somehow got stuck with being tutored by Kyle."

"How do you know that?"

"I know a lot, but that is not the point. The point is you're really gonna bum out on getting help to what? Fuck off with Wendy? That's stupid."

"I can't just blow Wendy off like that. She's really making an effort to be with me despite her hectic schedule right now."

"Listen to yourself, you make it sound like Wendy has to _fit_ you in her schedule. If you were really important to her she wouldn't have neglected to call or speak to you since last Friday."

"She needed some time to herself because she's working herself crazy."

"You poor son of a bitch," Cartman stares at me with what seems like pity.

"What are you talking about fatass?"

"I'm saying, you're being a stupid asshole. Wendy's walking over you and you're letting her."

"No, she's not. You don't know what you're talking about." Even as I say this it doesn't feel as strong.

"You're just trying to fuck our relationship."

"I _wish_ I was that interested in what screwed up relationship you and Wendy have, but I'm not. I'm just observant."

"Bullshit." I call once again and begin to walk away from this douche bag. He's just trying to piss me off.

"If it's bullshit then tell me why Wendy was with Gary last Friday night." Cartman says and I stop. The hallway is empty at this point, leaving just the two of us.

"_What_?"

* * *

"Wendy visited Gary Friday night. Right before she came to me."

"What-why was she at your place? And why the fuck was she with Gary." Stan steps closer to me and if I hadn't known the asshole as long as I have I'd probably be cautious of him actually laying in on me.

But since Stan's a few inches shorter than me and he's about as intimidating to me as a butterfly I stand my guard at his intimidating glare. He's pissed because Gary has a notorious reputation of stealing other guy's girlfriends. And because it's me. What the fuck could Wendy would have wanted with _me_?

"I have no idea. She just showed up on my doorstep and plopped her cheerleading ass on my couch and ate all of my pop tarts."

"How do you know she was with Gary then?"

"He dropped her off at my house. I know that damn white hyundai from anywhere."

"So she's seeing Gary. That doesn't mean she's cheating on me."

"What else could he want with her," Stan looks at me a bit helplessly and I actually pity the guy.

"So, that's why she wanted to hang out after weeks of avoiding me." Stan buries his face in his arm for a brief moment before turning to me again.

"Dude, chin up. Don't be a pussy about this, it just goes to show that you two weren't meant for each other. You'll live." Stan nods and walks away... and my job is done here.

**(*)**

I wait until Stan exits the hallway and make my way further down the opposite hallway and out of the back entrance of the school. There waiting for me with his blonde hair swept away from his face in a classic haircut style is Gary as he leans against the brick wall expectantly. He pockets his phone on my arrival and looks at me brightly.

"I know you're hiding something," I say abruptly, wanting Gary to stop smiling at me.

"Oh really? What is it then?"

"I saw you at Heidi's party. With Connor." Gary's smile falters before his lips form a weird smirk directed at me.

"You did huh? Tell me, what did you see?"

"You know what I fucking saw," I spit out.

"Fine. What did you hear?" Gary asks harshly as he pulls his pack of scented cigarettes out of his white jeans and I'm taken a little aback by his mood swing. He quickly lights his cigarette and stares at me expectantly.

"What?"

"Tell me what the fuck you heard!"

"Nothing, I didn't hear anything. I just saw you on your knees in front of Connor and some other guys."

"Fuck! Why are you such a nosy bastard." Gary says with a chuckle after a moment and I just stare at him confused.

"You don't...care?"

"No, why should I?"

"Because you're straight."

"I never said that. I haven't claimed to be anything." That much is true. We all just kind of assumed…

"But what about those girls you fucked? What about Annie, Milly, Red, and-"

"I never fucked any of them... except for Annie."

"Why Annie?"

Gary just smirks at me before stubbing out his barely touched cigarette on the brick wall behind us, "I have my reasons."

"Anyway, did you do it." Gary asks giving me a knowing look.

"Yeah, and you just better hope you're right about this," I threaten, but Gary only gives me a sugary sweet smile.

"Trust me, we're all gonna get what we want."

* * *

_**H. Garrison**_

"Hello everyone, welcome to Sociology 101 and I'll be instructor for the semester." The guy writes his name in bold black marker on the board: **Mr. Warrick**. The man doesn't look a day over 25 and is admittedly obviously better looking than the weird elf of a teacher we had before.

"What happened to Mr...that guy who was here Monday?" Some dumb kid asks in the seat behind me. Did he even read the class announcements?

"Mr. Addine had to drop one of his this class, so instead of dropping the class completely they decided to let someone else teach it."

"Oh...so what happened to the guy?" Some random woman with bleach blonde hair and horrendous purple and black highlights.

"He _died_." He says gravely and everyone in the class gasps. "Just joking," Mr. Warrick says after a awkward moment of silence and the class erupts in uneasy laughter. "Okay, let's get started then." Finally.

The only reason I'm even here is because I decided spending my evenings locked inside my house eating tubs of Ben and Jerry's and reruns of _The Walking Dead_ weren't enough. I should be an upstanding citizen in my town, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. To put it shortly I'm bored with my quiet and uneventful life. All I do is work, eat, work, crap, work, go home and do _even_ more work before retiring to my bed with icecream.

So I recently came up with the 'genius' idea to take college classes in Denver to feel the space in my life. It does to prove to be time consuming, but otherwise I feel like I'm surrounded by even more dumb and hungover kids than usual and uninterested professors.

"Hey, you," Mr. Warrick calls and I look up from my neatly written notes to his face.

"Yes?" Some guy behind me answers.

"Do you know who Karl Marx is?"

"Uh...no"

"Does anyone have any idea who Karl Marx is?" Nobody says anything.

"Great, well I'll just have to assign you all to a at least two page paper on who Karl Marx is-"

"Karl Marx was a sociologist and economist who believed in class struggle according to the different socioeconomic interests and wants of different social classes."

"And who are you?"

"Garrison." Mr. Warrick looks down at a paper on his desk before turning back to the board to continue writing.

He doesn't ask anything else the entire period and just continues to ramble on about different theories and what not. When our hour is up everyone begins to pack up.

"Don't forget to read chapter five and six tonight and we will meet back up here on Monday." I make a note of this on my small notepad before standing and easily sliding my books into my bag. As I'm walking out of the door I'm stopped by Mr. Warrick, "Garrison, right?"

"Yes, is there a problem."

"No, I actually just wanted to applaud you for being the only one that's not _completely_ clueless in this class." Oh, really?

"Thanks, I've actually read and studied Karl Marx in my early college days. But I still make it a point to teach my students about Marx."

"You're a teacher? That explains why you're so intelligent. I've read a few of your papers Mr. Addine has graded and passed onto me for my professional opinion and their great."

"Well, like you said I'm a teacher, and wouldn't it look bad if I made anything less than an A on my papers."

"Not really, even now at my age I still make a few grammatical errors or have a few typos."

"How old are?" I ask and Mr. Warrick raises his thick eyebrows, "If you don't mind me asking."

I expect Mr. Warrick to insist that it was obviously none of my business and to promptly end this conversation, but he surprisingly just gives out a lighthearted chuckle, "I don't mind actually. I kind of pride myself on being older, I'm 40."

"Shut up." I say before I could stop myself and it does nothing, but cause Mr. Warrick to smile bigger and I notice that he has a dimple in his left cheek. How charming...

"It's true, and I'm not ashamed to admit it." He leans against the light wooden desk arms lazily crossed across his torso.

"How bold," I comment with a small grin, "But I should be going Mr. Warric-"

"Please, just call me Blake. When we're not in class that is." I give a short nod and Blake continues,

"You're not from around here are you?"

"No, I live in a town called South Park."

"You're kiddin' I just moved there." Well I'll be damned. And here I was, thinking that I'd never have another encounter with Blake outside of the classroom. _Just_ my luck that he lives in my town.

"Small world."

Blake nods, "Indeed. Well, I guess I'll be seeing more of you then."

"That is if you want to. But really I should be going, how inappropriate would it be if someone just happened to walk past and hear our conversation?" I make my way to the door, but glance once more at Blake.

"Yeah, this conversation isn't teacher and student appropriate, we should definitely end this now." My grin widens at his sarcasm, but he can't see it. "Maybe, if we just _happen_ to run into each other outside of school it'd be more appropriate."

"Maybe." I finally take my leave feeling eyes on me as I walk out of the door.

Going back to school just became _alot_ more interesting.


	18. Liar

Liar

* * *

"It's just really simple, just distribute the four and-"

"I honestly just don't get this." I drop the pencil in my hand to the wooden table in front of me. He just stares at me like I'm stupid and I can tell it's taking _a lot_ of willpower on his side to not call me out for being a complete idiot. I'm not stupid, I'm just not focused right now. I can't get rid of the hole in my chest right now. Wendy cheated on me...

"Hey," Kyle calls and I center my attention back on him. "Are you even listening to me? I'm trying to help you."

"Yeah, I get that." Maybe it was my tone, but Kyle actually shuts his trap and takes to just staring at me now. I pick up my pencil and do as Kyle asked me a few moments ago. I finish the problem and he checks it.

"Let's move on to something else."

"Did I do it right?"

"Its correct. Not how I would have solved it, but that doesn't really matter. Take out your English homework." I take out my English notebook and book and Kyle just takes a thick binder out of his bag. He flips through the tabs before finding a specific one. He clears his throat, "You are to answer the questions on page 182 and 183 in complete sentences." I flip to the first page and see about 20 questions that continue over onto page 183.

"So we have to answer 30 questions about this chapter?"

"No, _you_ have to answer 30 questions. I already did this.

"But she just assigned this to us today. And why did she assign us so many questions?"

"She didn't, she only assigned us to do the even numbers, but next class period she's just going to assign everyone to complete the odd numbers."

"So why can't I just do what is assigned today?"

"This is to help you stay ahead in class." Kyle begins flipping through his notebook tabs again. And I grit my teeth, some tutor he is.

I keep my agitated thoughts to myself though and begin answering the questions for the next hour or so. Not once after telling me what to do does Kyle look up or say anything to me, he just continues to quickly write something down.

When I finish I actually feel proud of myself for being so productive. "I'm done." I announce and Kyle continues to write for few moments before stopping. He practically snatches my paper out of my hand and reads it. I can see his green eyes quickly fleeting over my paper before stopping and handing it back. He then hands over a paper in one of the back pockets of his organized binder. I'm shocked. It's a schedule. He actually drew me up an intricate schedule on what I should work on each day. I don't know what to say to this.

"What is this?" I find myself asking. And even though I do find this cool I can't just outright thank him for this. Kyle rolls his eyes at my questioning stare.

"It's a schedule highlighting everything you need to do for the rest of the semester."

"I know what it is, it's just...why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you giving me this? Why did you make this for me."

"You asked for my help, so."

"Well...I don't want to thank you for this"

Kyle shrugs, "I don't expect you to-"

"But thank...you," My insides literally twist at the words coming out of my mouth. But I said it. Its into existence now and I'm not taking it back.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because," I say and I want to leave it as that, but something pushes me to explain myself further, "I'm not a huge douche. It was...good of you to do this." Why am I so overwhelmed with anxiety just to get these words out? I swallow hard to try and get rid of the sickness my anxiety is causing within me.

And Kyle's piercing stare isn't helping me at all. "Stop looking at me like that." I blurt after no reply from Kyle.

"Like what?"

"You know. You're making me-"

"Nervous." Kyle finishes my thought and my chest clenches uncomfortably at that.

"Stop," I reiterate clenching my jaw. "Stop it Kyle."

"Okay." He says simply and I hate it. Why is everything so simple for him? Why is this so easy?

"Why are you being like this?"

"Being like what," Kyle asks confused and for once he doesn't look so blank of expression.

"You're acting like this doesn't bother you."

"I'm not acting. Look, this doesn't bother me as much you think."

"Bullshit."

"Seriously."

"So, it doesn't bother you that I'm literally sitting a few inches away from you. Talking to you." I lean further against the wooden desk to accentuate my point. "I've literally gave you so much shit and you seriously don't want to smash my face in right now?" Kyle just stares at me. It's all he seems to do now when he's not completely ignoring my mere presence which is 99 percent of the time. I can tell the gears in his head are turning despite his calm demeanor.

"Nope."

"Liar. You are such a fucking liar. I know-"

"You don't know anything. Quit trying to make this something it's clearly not. I agreed to tutor you and as far as I'm concerned that's the only interaction we'll ever have. Our session is over for today." Kyle stands and I bite down any insulting words on the tip of my tongue as the redhead packs up his notebook.

"Liar." I call, but Kyle doesn't even pause nor make any indication that he heard me as he continues down the stairs to the first floor of the empty library.

**(*)**

I eventually gather my things and stuff them into my bag and make my way downstairs and out of the metal library doors. Before I could start my car my phone rings and a picture of me kissing Wendy on my seventeenth birthday pops up on my screen. I let it ring for what seems like forever before finally answering.

"Stan." I say nothing and just listen as Wendy sighs and I can imagine the way her pink lips would curve downwards in a small pout at being frustrated with me. How I would kiss her just to see her smile at me again, to be happy with me. "Stan, I thought we were going to hang out after school. Practice has been over for about three hours now. Stan?!" I don't say anything and it's quiet on the other side, but I know she's still there because I can still her breathing through the phone. "Stan…" Her voice trails off and it's laced with tiredness and exasperation and fuck this. Fuck this entire situation.

"I'm sorry," I say finally. I don't know why I'm apologizing it's just the first words that fall out of my stupid mouth, "I got sick after practice and went home."

"Oh, I'm sorry Stan. I understand and want you to get better okay?" She sounds so maternal right now, like she really cares about what's happening to me.

"Yeah, thanks." I want to believe she cares. I do. "We can hang out tomorrow if you want."

"Tomorrow is actually no good for me, but maybe I can come by if I have space in between."

"Fine. Do what you want." It was worth a shot.

"Stan what is this about?" Wendy asks sensing the coldness of my words.

"Nothing Wendy, just do what you want to do, despite how I may feel and despite what I may want."

"Stan-"

"No, Wendy. You know what, I can't do this." There's silence on the other end.

"What are you saying?"

"I think we should...take a break. I need you to figure out what you want."

"What I want? Where is this coming from Stan?! I want you, you know that."

"No, I don't think I do. You...you need to figure out if this relationship is what you want."

"It _is_." Wendy insist, "If anything I should be asking you the same question. I'm not the only one at fault here."

"How have I fucked _anything_ up? I've practically been begging to hang out with you, to just be with you and you've turned me down each time. You're pissed that I couldn't make it just this once when _you_ deemed it was fit for you and I to be with each other. You never have the time for me anymore, you never want to be _with_ me anymore.

"That is not true. You know if I wasn't so busy with this internship I would be with you. Everything would be just the same, so why are you being so rash all of a sudden. When you know this is extremely important that I get this experience to help with my future and someday what I hope to be _our_ future!"

"Well maybe I don't see the same future as you."

"Wait what? Stan-"

"No," My tone is so final and I hate it, "Call me when you _finally_ have time for me. Until then we both just need some space."

"I don't."

"I do. We need to know what it's like to not be together."

"So you're breaking up with me? Just like that?" I can hear sniffling on the other side and I can tell Wendy's trying to keep her voice strong. I swallow hard, trying to stay firm on my decision.

"It's just a break. We just need time away from each other that lasts more than a couple days."

"Okay..._fine_." Wendy's voice sounds thick with tears, but she ends the call anyway. I watch as our picture disappears from my screen and practically throw my phone in the passenger seat before leaving the empty parking lot. Fuck if I don't feel like shit for doing that. _U&amp;I by the Neighbourhood_ pours through my car speakers does nothing, but make me doubt my decision, so I turn it off. I can't go home right now, I don't want to be in a empty house and be alone with my thoughts running rampant through my head right now. So I head to Kenny's house hoping he's home.

* * *

**_Karen M._**

I'm sitting at the large island in the kitchen trying to finish this last page of History homework when my cell phone rings. It plays the ringtone I set for Ruby: _New Americana by Halsey_ and I cautiously look across the island at Kenny who is staring directly at me. The phone continues to ring and we continue to stare before I quickly reach out to answer my phone only to be beat by an even quicker Kenny.

Kenny grabs my phone and I groan as he answers, "Hey! Who's this calling? Oh, hi Ruby. No, Karen's right here doing homework." Kenny gives me a pointed look and I glare at the book in front of me. "Nope, what's up, you can talk to me. Oh, you wanted to know if Karen could come over? Ruby wants to know if you wanna come over to hers?" Kenny asks me and I glare at him before motioning him to hand me my damn phone. He hands it over with a smirk as the doorbell rings and bolts for the door. Such a pest.

"Hello?"

"Finally, hey Kare bear!"

"Hey, sorry about Kenny, he's just being annoying... as usual."

"It's alright. So do you wanna come over?"

"Yeah, I can be over in about twenty minutes?"

"Sure, plus I have a surprise!"

"Great," I say not sounding excited at all because Ruby's surprises always tend to backfire.

"Why aren't you excited. It's gonna be awesome, just bring your fluffy black happy bunny pajamas."

"Hey Kare," Stan greets walking into the open concept kitchen and I give a wave before answering Ruby.

"Okay, see you in twenty." Ruby says her goodbye before we both hang up.

"So, how are your classes going," Stan asks sitting in a chair at the island.

"Pretty good, my teachers are pretty cool. It's just some of the students and Mr. Abrahms."

"Yeah, Mr. Abrahms is a right asshole. Always have been and some people you may just want to leave alone completely.

"Tell me about it." I begin to pack my books back up into my book bag.

"Do you still talk to the girl who used to hang out over here sometimes?"

"Amy? No, not really. She kinda doesn't come over anymore."

"Do you talk in school or…"

"No, the girls she's friends with now I don't really like."

"Oh, well I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay, I think she was just using me to get near Kenny anyway. So better now than later." Stan nods and Kenny walks back into the kitchen from doing whatever.

"Where are you going?" He asks, slinging an arm around Stan's shoulder

"Over to Ruby's. I'll call if I sleepover." I pass by Kenny and roll my eyes when he messes up my already wild hair further before him and Stan disappear upstairs most likely to Kenny's room. I throw my converses on and a purple and black skull jacket before throwing my hair up in a messy high ponytail. I hurry upstairs and grab my overnight bag and house key and wrap the key chain around my wrist as I hop down the stairs. I go into the laundry room and grab my pajamas out of the dryer and stuff them in the bag before quietly leaving the house.

* * *

"Wait, _you_ broke up with Wendy?" I ask only a bit surprised at this new occurrence.

"We're on a break."

"Wow, I can't believe you actually stood up to Wendy." Stan flops back onto my bed as I sit on the window sill and watch Karen make her way down our driveway and down the street.

"I just feel like total shit right now."

"That's kinda understandable, I mean you practically broke up with a girl you've loved since Elementary school. Do you still love Wendy?"

"Honestly Ken...I don't know. Its this part of me that just clings to her because in someway Wendy understands me, but another part of me knows."

"Knows what?"

"Nothing."

"Stan," Moving away from my large window sill I sit on the bed next to Stan. "Tell me. You can tell me anything you know right?"

"Yeah, but." Stan looks at me and I stare back. I trust Stan, hell I admitted to him that guys turn me on; something I haven't told anyone. Not even Butters. I don't want to push Stan into telling me something he doesn't want to, but- "That it just won't work."

"What won't?"

"This, whatever it is that me and her are doing. We're just not attuned to each other anymore, that love I felt for her that kept me coming back, and constantly pinning for her...it's gone. I just feel like shit for being the one to do it."

"Don't be. It was most likely bound to happen and you can't blame yourself for not wanting to let this drag on. And it's okay to not know what you want, so don't fault yourself for wanting to focus on what's happening now."

"I can't even begin to tell you how it felt when Cartman told me Wendy was with Gary."

"Cartman told you?"

"Wendy came to him last Friday night and he said that he saw Gary drop her off."

"How did Cartman even know it was Gary?"

"He said he would be able to recognize his white hyundai anywhere." Stan rolls over onto his face and I stare at his back.

When did Cartman ever start hanging out with Gary? To be able to recognize his car out of thousands of white hyundai's in South Park he has to have at least hung out with the guy before. This is probably Cartman stirring some shit up. I want to voice this to Stan, but my gut refuses profusely as I stare at the boy beside me. He eventually flips over and stares at me curiously.

"What?"

"You weren't saying anything."

"I know, I was just thinking about something."

"This is going to be alright, right Ken?"

Will everything be okay? Will everything work out _exactly_ the way we want it? I doubt it. I've been killed a million times to know that things don't always go as planned or as hoped. But the way Stan is looking at me right now, waiting for an answer I don't have the heart to be so pessimistic towards him. "Yeah, dude of course it is. Everything happens for a reason." Stan smiles lightly.

"Thanks Ken," Stan sits up and pulls me into a hug. And I hug him back just as tight. That's the thing about Stan he's always up for a hug.

"No problem, I'm secretly using you for hugs." Stan chuckles before lightly pushing me away.

"Anyway, enough of my fucked up problems what've you been up to Ken?"

"Just the usual, eating, hanging out, smoking, and watching netflix. My car will actually be done this Friday, wanna take a spin with me?"

"Yeah, where do you wanna go?"

"Actually I was planning on going to a party."

"Okay, where?"

"Its at Kyle's."

"That's-"

"Its cool if you don't want to, we can do something else."

"No, its cool. I wanna go."

"Shocker." I say sarcastically.

"Whatever, it's just a party. I need to chill the fuck out, so why not."

"It's exactly what you need. It's the best cure to any fucked up situation."

"Fuck you." Stan laughs.

"Don't tempt me."

"Yeah, whatever Ken."

"Who wouldn't want to." I say without really thinking it through.

"What?"

"I mean look at you Stan, you're really hot and I'm not ashamed to admit it."

"Well, thanks Ken. You're," Stan pauses and my eyes zone in on him lightly biting his bottom lip,

"Pretty...good looking too." So innocent, it's so fucking cute.

"Thanks," I say and Stan continues to gnaw on his bottom lip. "Anyway," I start effectively changing the subject and Stan visibly relaxes. I smirk at that, but continue, "We can go right after your game."

"Sure."

**(*)**

Stan and I just laze around in my room and play _Call of Duty_ and talk about random shit for hours. It's just what the lad needs to cure his broken heart, but suddenly I hear the doorbell ring and I pause the game.

"Someone's at the door I'll be back."

"Yeah right, just an excuse to avoid getting your ass handed to you."

"You wish," I say before leaving and heading downstairs.

Opening the door I spot Stuart on my doorstep, "Hey Kenny," Stuart greets and he's dressed in a black suit, briefcase in hand, "Can I come in."

Stoically I open the door wider letting him in before closing it behind him. I go to the kitchen and open the refrigerator to take out a vitamin water for me and Stan and as I put velveeta cheese into a bowl and in the microwave Stuart speaks again. "So how've you been Kenny?"

"Good." I reach open the white cabinet above me and pull down another bowl and begin to fill it with the tostitos chips.

"Are you still working at that auto shop not too far from here?"

"Yeah," I clear my throat, "Why?" Another pause.

"How is school going?"

"Fine."

"How's your mom and sis-"

"They are good too."

"Are you-"

"Why are you here?" I ask abruptly. Stuart shifts and I can tell he's uncomfortable by how I'm staring at him without blinking.

"Just to see how you were. I came over Monday and you weren't home." I turn away with an unapologetic small smile and take my cheese out of the microwave.

"Well, I'm here and I'm fine. Have been for a long time now."

"Kenny...did I do something to you?" I don't answer and decide to open the pantry and get out a can of rotel and open it with a can opener. "Look, Ken whatever I did to you I'm sorry alright?" I mix the rotel in with the melted cheese before pouring it over the chips. "Kenny," Stuart tries again, but I ignore him in favor of grabbing napkins.

"Are you done?" I ask as I make my way out of the kitchen with the drinks and food, "I have company and I'd like to get back to them." I turn away and go up the stairs ignoring Stuart's weak reply.

"No-I'm done."

"Close the door on your way out." I call before entering my room again.

"Who was that?" Stan asks as I sit our stuff down between us.

"Nobody important."

* * *

As I'm putting away groceries I realize that I forgot to pick up a carton of eggs. With a sigh I put away the groceries and take out the ingredients I'm going to need to make meatloaf tonight. I quickly make my way to my car and down to the grocery store. After searching for a parking space I quickly back into it and jump out. I get two cartons of eggs, milk, and more tv dinners, pop-tarts and ice cream and neatly place them all in my cart before hurrying to the checkout lane. Spotting an open lane with only a couple of people with baskets I turn the corner and instantly there's a clash of metal.

"Oops, sorry!" I automatically say as I back away a bit.

"It's okay, I should've been paying attention to my surroundings. Hi, I think we met before."

"Yes, you're Blake right? I'm Sharon."

"Yes, and you're the cool nurse from Hell's Pass, nice to see you again. How have you been?"

"Good, today is my day off so I'm just doing a little grocery shopping."

"Yeah, I actually just came in to pick up some stuff, but had to-"

"Come back because you forgot something else." I say completing his sentence.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Blake asks with a smile and I smile back.

"I actually forgot something too which is insane because I always-"

"Bring a list." I raise my eyebrows in question and Blake pulls a small note pad out of his jacket and waves it. "Lucky guess, I keep one too. I just like being really precise on what exactly it is that I need and want."

"Me too, my husband usually just picks up whatever's good or any sweet things the kids want."

"Lucky guy he is then, well, anyway I should let you go, I still have a few more things to pick up." Blake moves to go in the direction I just came from, but I stop him with a gentle hand on his black sweater covered arm as he passes by.

"Do you mind if we go to lunch or something? I mean you seem like a nice guy and all."

"Sure," Blake nods, "But your husband wouldn't mind will he?"

"Oh, no it'll be fine, just two friends having lunch."

"Okay, well then that's fine. How about we meet at this new restaurant called Jackson's."

"Sure, how about Friday at one?"

"That perfect. See you soon."

"Bye."

I finally head to one of the checkout lanes and even though the lines have gotten longer and I'm currently standing behind a soccer mom with about three full carts I still can't get rid of the giddiness inside of me. I feel like a highschool girl who just got asked to prom, it's distressing. Taking out my phone I decide to call Randy, my_ husband_ and see what he's up to and to just hear his voice right now.

But as expected...it goes straight to voicemail. I swallow the uncomfortable lump in my throat and leave the usual message: "Hi Randy, it's me I just wanted to call to see how you were, so just call me back whenever you get the chance...bye." I hang up and quickly move along in the line. I think I honestly just need a break, this just reassures my decision to just go to lunch with someone that isn't always Brad, Darren, and Sheila, someone new and as charming as Blake will be perfect.

* * *

"Shit!" I groan and run my fingers through my hair, gripping tightly at the red curls on top of my head. I watch in only mild fascination as Samantha or Jessica? Or whoever continues to balance herself on her knees while completely naked as she sucks me off furiously. She just looks so starved for it and dying to get me off, I like that. She's practically been begging to hook up for the past couple of weeks and the more and more she's tried to get my attention, the more and more I've become annoyed.

I was bored so I invited her over and this just makes up for her annoying ways. She barely holds me with one dainty hand and squeezes her pink nipples with another, but I'm barely paying attention to her at this point. I finally reach my peak with a low groan and my smirk widens as I feel her swallow my load. I grab a tissue off of my bedside and wipe off as she smiles up at me. Discarding the used tissue I run my hand through her blonde hair before pulling my grey boxer shorts and jeans up and zipping up. "So, that was cool." I comment Idly.

"Totes. I just knew when Amy told me you were amazing...let's just say I knew she couldn't possibly be lying. I had to taste you."

"Amy?" I ask as she continues to kiss and lick my neck. She stops and begins laughing and her boobs jiggle weirdly as she does.

"Yeah, she said she slept with you at that girl Heidi's party. She's been bragging about it like crazy! But from the sounds of it, it must've not been so good…" The girl continues to giggle and kiss me. I do remember Amy, I remember how loud she screamed when I fucked her from behind.

"Oh, I remember her, she was nice." The girl Amanda (I remember now) smirks and why am I even having this conversation with her. This is only a one night stand meaning we have one night of sex and you stand your ass up and leave my house.

"How good? I bet she wasn't as good as me!" Hmph, I've actually have had better. She tries to kiss my mouth and I effectively dodge it and stand. I find her blue frilly bra and matching panties and hand them to her along with her short blue jeans and white sweater. Amanda stares at me a bit incredulous, but I ignore it and opt to check my messages on my phone. "Fine!" The girl shuffles off of my bed and quickly gets dress before opening and slamming my door shut, the sound of the front door slamming shut echoes throughout the empty house. With my dad going along with my mom out of town to one of her protests or whatever committee meeting it is this week and Ike hanging out at one of his friend's house it's been fairly quiet.

So with a yawn I grab my covers of my bed and throw them in the downstairs washing machine. I grab a water bottle and chug like half of it before the doorbell rings. I take my time going to the door as the person continues to ring incessantly. When I open the door I instantly regret it.

"Long time no see Kyle."

"Gary." I greet dryly.

"Well, aren't you going to let me in?"

"No." Gary gives me a look that says that I really don't have a choice in this matter. I clench my jaw and open the door wider letting Gary in. It's quiet for a long moment in which I just lean against the front door and Gary just paces around like a predatory lion before speaking.

"You've been avoiding me. Why?"

"You know why?"

"No, clarify it for me?" Gary asks nicely, but it's nothing nice about this situation.

"I can't do this."

"Why not?" I don't answer, but Gary continues, "I thought maybe if I gave you a bit of space you would eventually come to me, why am I the one that's always running back to you?"

"I told you Gary, I'm done."

"No, you're not. I'm not done with you, so _we're_ not done."

"What do you want from me?" I ask throwing my hands up.

"You know what I want. Why can't you j-just stop fighting me, stop fighting us!"

"I don't want this. Look, I told you I made a mistake. It was only-"

"One time? But what about the times you called me over in tears because you needed something, someone to fill that space, that _void_ inside of you. Someone to just hold you-"

"Stop."

"No, I won't. I want you Kyle, I need you to want _me_. I know you do, why can't you just admit it." I stare at Gary and I just want him to go. He's fucking suffocating me.

"I don't."

"Ky." He says and his voice breaks.

"Don't call me that. Just... Gary just leave." I stand firm and ignore the twisting of my gut as Gary stares at me hurt by my words. This was never so supposed to happen, he was never supposed to _want_ to crawl into my bed. I fucked up.

"Fine. One day you're going to realize that no one has been there like I fucking have, no one will love you as much as I fucking do."

Gary leaves and I let him. Its for the best, this is not the way things were supposed to be.


	19. More Than you Think

More Than you Think...

* * *

I walk up the driveway and to the front door of the Tucker residence and knock twice on the front door. I wait for a exactly a minute before the door is opened and I pull the duffle bag further up my shoulder.

"Hey-What are you doing here?"

Filmore ignores me however and moves to let me inside of the house and I take my shoes off by the door, "Ruby, Karen's here!" He yells upstairs before going into the living room.

I follow, leaving my bag in the foyer and flop down onto the sectional black leather sofa the furthest spot away from Filmore. He just rolls his eyes and continues to flick through his phone. And we just sit there as some stupid cartoon show plays, five minutes pass and Ruby still hadn't made it down. Grabbing the remote to at least change this annoying cartoon I settle on the home renovation channel.

"Hey, I was watching that," Filmore comments, eyes flickering away from his phone to me.

"No you weren't, you were too busy looking at your phone." Filmore just stares at me still and I make no moves to change it back.

"I was listening to it. Just hand me the remote back."

"No." I say simply hoping that'd end this conversation.

Filmore is downright glaring at me now, "Seriously Karen, hand me the freakin' remote."

"No," I repeat and turn up the volume on the large flat screen. Filmore tries to grab the remote out of my hand and I instantly it snatch away. "Quit, Jerk!"

"Give me the remote," Filmore complains and I stand and sit on the armrest of the sofa, but Filmore just follows me.

"Get away!" I push away Filmore's hands and stand up trying to hold back the laughter rising in my chest as he tries to reach for me again.

"No," Filmore stops, a small smile cracking on his face briefly before he stands as well. I continue to step away from him and he follows until my back hits the loyal blue wall behind me. "Give. Me. The remote." I shake my head and Filmore pushes me further into the wall, crowding my space. "There's only one way out of this Kare-bear," I roll my eyes at the stupid nickname.

"You're right," I agree and Filmore looks at me in question just before I knee him in the groin. His lanky form crumples away from me, giving me enough room to push him away. I laugh at his bent over form before running out of the living room and through the kitchen to the foyer.

I continue to laugh, remote still in hand deciding I'll go upstairs to check on Ruby. Just as I'm half way up the stairs I'm unceremoniously grabbed and dragged down the soft carpeted stairs. Laughter fills the foyer as Filmore continues to pull me and I uselessly kick my sock covered foot at him. I just continue to slide down until I hit the dark hardwood floor with a small "Hmph".

Feeling the grip on my legs release I try to crawl away, but it's pointless as I'm once again grabbed and flipped onto my back. I stare at Filmore in shock as he stares back with a triumphant smirk from ontop of me. His laughter softly resonates in my ears and I sulk in defeat.

"Aww, don't pout Kare...It's too cute."

I roll my eyes so hard I swear they're gonna get stuck like this and Filmore continues to pin my body down to the floor. After the adrenaline running through me calms down to a mild simmer I am hyper aware of Filmore's thin, but firm body on top of mine. I take in the fact that he's wearing a pair of faded jeans and a thin long sleeve maroon shirt. His muscles feel so weird against me, but I don't dare touch him or ask if that's actually a six pack lying flat against my stomach. I look up and it figures that I'm not the only one who has become more 'aware' of the other's body. Filmore's eyes flicker up to mine and he's no longer laughing or joking as he stares at me this time.

'What?' I want to ask, but I don't, scared to break the silence and unspoken tension between us. He leans closer and my breath hitches, heart beating just a little bit faster. I'm embarrassed to even think Filmore can feel how fast and hard my heart is beating right now. He doesn't seem bothered though and-just what is he trying to do! His face is just inches away from mine and just as I figure he would go in for the kill he moves away and pushes himself off of me. Wait, what? "What are you doing?" I finally ask as I sit up. Filmore doesn't answer and I'm just so-so frustrated right now! "Answer me," I demand.

"What?"

"You were gonna-," I stop in annoyance as Filmore looks at me completely calm in this situation. Less than five minutes ago my heart was about to burst through my chest, "You can't just-Ugh!" I groan in frustration, "You can't just not kiss me," I say quietly after a moment.

"Did you really want me to." He asks and I halt, thinking about this.

Did I really want Filmore to kiss me. Filmore, the boy that has annoyed the crap out of me for years and still does. The boy I've always asked myself why I'm still friends with...the boy who has become increasingly hot over the years. Did I really want him to kiss me?

"No," Filmore looks unsurprised by this and just leans on the wall across from me, arms crossed. "We were just caught up in the moment and with the feeling of pure adrenaline running through us. It was nothing."

"Of course," Filmore says smoothly and I nod content that he agrees with this. That's all it was.

"Loser, I thought I told you to tell Karen to wait in the living room." Ruby's voice interrupts slicing the tension in half.

"I did," Filmore replies to Ruby as she makes her way downstairs. Halfway she stops and picks up the remote off the steps and flips it in her hand until she reaches the bottom step.

"Want to explain why the remote was on the steps?"

"Want to explain why it took you so long to come downstairs," I counter and Ruby narrows her eyes playfully.

"Touche. I was was looking for my phone, I found it under my bed."

"I don't even want to ask why and how your phone got under your bed. So what is this surprise you were telling me about?"

"Movie night!" Ruby announces excitedly and Filmore and I groan not so excited. "What? This will be fun."

"Yeah, fun." Filmore comments and Ruby raises eyebrows at his sarcastic tone before looking back at me and I just shrug looking away.

"What happened while I was gone?" Ruby asks, but no one answers. "Uh huh, well then I'm gonna go make popcorn. Can you give me a hand Filmore."

"Why do you need help popping popcorn?"

"I just do," Ruby says and hands me the remote before dragging Filmore out of the foyer and to the kitchen by his maroon shirt. "Kare, pick a movie or TV show!" She shouts back at me and I move out of the foyer and into the empty living room and change the TV to netflix and begin searching for something before settling on an episode of Supernatural. I'm half way through the episode before Filmore and Ruby return with two large bowls of popcorn and two bags of mini dove chocolates.

"So, what did you guys talk about?" I ask, not caring for pretenses.

"What ever do you mean Karen?" Ruby asks settling in to my right and Filmore to my left.

"You guys took a while is all."

"Just stuff. Ooh Supernatural! What season is this?" Ruby says changing the subject and I let her with no protest.

"I don't know, just a random one. We can start a new one." I say, but I make no moves to do so as I practically stuff my mouth with popcorn to avoid talking.

"No, that's alright, we'll just wait until this one ends." I nod and we all continue to watch the episode.

**(*)**

We're in the middle of what is probably our fifth episode of Supernatural and the sun has past gone down. And we're all lounged in weird positions on the couch as we continue to stuff our faces and watch TV, afraid to look away in case we miss something. I reach for another handful of popcorn, but as I stick my hand in the bowl I'm met with the touch of someone else's. I yank my hand back and stare at the intruder. I wait until Filmore's hand is out of the bowl and quickly reach for more popcorn. The episode finishes and Ruby yawns before starting another episode and I tuck my legs under me and in the process brush against Filmore's leg. He thankfully probably didn't feel it so I just continue to go on as normal.

Thirty minutes I feel something creeping along my thigh, I brush my hand on my leg. I'm probably just getting the chills it is pretty cold in here (Ruby probably turned the air on earlier). Minutes later it's back again and goosebumps crawl up my arm. Looking down at what's crawling on me I see slender fingers tapping across my right thigh. I look at Filmore and he's not looking at me, and I quickly flick my head over at Ruby who's paying more attention to the TV than anything else right now. Filmore's fingers continue to tapping along my leg before suddenly squeezing it and causing me to jump. I look over at Ruby and for sure her eyes are still glued to the TV and I stare at my leg before looking at the TV once again.

"I think we should call it a night," Ruby says after the last three episodes and I check my phone for the time and it reads 10:55. I quickly send a text to Kenny telling him I'm spending the night at Ruby's. "So, you," Ruby says pointedly looking at Filmore, "Have to go."

"Shoot and here I thought I could sleepover," Filmore fakes disappointment and Ruby just stands and pokes Filmore in the chest.

"Hell no, do you _want_ to die? Because Craig and my parents would literally kill your ass if I let you sleepover." He'd probably never make it long enough for her parents to get their hands on him if Craig comes through that door first. Ruby stacks both bowls on top of each other and place our trash inside of one, "Karen can you escort Filmore out."

"Sure she can," Filmore answers and I glare at him.

"Yeah," I say shortly before motioning for Filmore to follow me to the foyer. I flick the outside lights on and open the front door and Filmore walks out, but as I begin to close it he stops it with his foot. I open the door wider as he stands in the doorway. "What?"

"You like me." I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion.

"What gave you that bright idea?"

"You did. Admit it Mccormick, you like me."

"I don't." I cross my arms across my chest as Filmore moves closer.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Are you... sure?" We're close again and I try my hardest to contain my breathing.

"Yeah…" I breathe out.

Filmore smirks unconvinced and it irks me, "You don't believe that do _you_?"

"I do." I swallow the lump in my throat, heartbeat rising.

"Wanna know what I think?"

"Not really."

"Why, scared?"

"No, just don't care is all."

"You're sassy you know that, right?" I shrug and Filmore continues, "You play like you're so innocent though. Like you're still sweet little McCormick, but I bet under all of the brains, under all of whatever this is...you're something else. You're practically screaming for something else."

"Like what?"

"You're just too shy to admit," Filmore finishes ignoring my question.

"That's where you're wrong, I can get anything I want."

"Yeah?" Filmore asks raking a hand through his dark hair and it's not so much of answer, but I answer quickly anyway.

"It's true.

"Then show me." Without a moment's hesitation or thought I close the gap between us.

First kiss be damned. We kiss and Filmore leads and I just try to follow. My arms are covered in goosebumps, but it doesn't stop Filmore from holding both tightly in his warm hands. When the need for air proves to be more desirable we pull away and I can still feel the way his tongue intertwined with mine. Filmore's eyes flicker from my lips to my face, catching my breath I whisper softly before retreating away from the cool outside breeze and inside three words against his lips.

"Told you so."

* * *

I'm so nervous right now. Why am I so nervous? Calm down Sharon, it's just lunch with a friend a very attractive and funny friend, but a friend nonetheless. I take a deep breath and release it slowly. I can do this. I take a long sip of my coke to stop myself from being so anxious before glancing at the menu in front of me again.

"Hey," A voice greets and detours me from deciding if I should order swedish meatballs or a romaine salad with tomatoes and bacon. But the bacon and swiss burger looks and sounds delicious.

"Hi," I greet looking up at a smiling Blake as he pulls out his black wrought iron chair and sits in front of me. "Did you make it here okay?"

"Yes, traffic was hectic headed this way though."

"Oh, you caught the lunch rush. But trust me the food here will make up for it."

"I bet. I actually like the table you chose."

"Yes, I usually sit outside when I come here and it's actually nice out today despite it becoming cooler."

"I totally agree with that. I love the Fall season and the colors the leaves change into. So," Blake starts as he opens the menu in front of him. "Since I've never been here before, what would you suggest I get?"

"I don't know everything is really good here."

"What are your top choices?"

"Well, if I really had to narrow it down it would be the swedish meatballs, signature burgers, pollo al mattone, and the cajun seafood pasta," I look up from my menu and make eye contact with Blake who just grins at me, "What?"

"Nothing," He replies and looks down at his menu momentarily before the young waiter Sandy comes to our table and takes Blake's drink order and we forgo any appetizers seeing as how we both are on a tight lunch schedule. Sandy writes it all down quickly in a small black pad before looking at us.

"What would you like as your main dish?"

"I will take the bacon and swiss burger with your signature cajun steak fries." Sandy writes it down quickly before looking at Blake, "I'll have what she's having."

"Good choices," Sandy complements, "I will be back with your beverage shortly and your main courses should be done within 45 minutes."

"Thank you Sandy."

"You are so welcome Mrs. Marsh and-"

"I'm Blake Warrick," Blake introduces and reaches out to shake Sandy's hand.

"Nice to meet you sir," Sandy says shaking Blake's hand although he seems a bit perplexed at the brown haired man sitting across from me. They both release hands and Sandy rushes back inside of the restaurant.

"So it seems as if everyone is very close knit here."

"Mostly, but Sandy is a really nice boy. He's friends with my son Stan, they play on the same baseball team together."

"Although, he did seem a little confused."

"Hmm, really?" I ask although I know exactly what he means. I'd rather not talk about it or acknowledge it all.

"Yeah, like he expected me to be someone else."

"Oh, I usually come here with my husband."

"I'm sorry Sharon, if this is overstepping any boundaries-"

"No, no, it's fine, really. We're just having lunch, it's okay." Blake still looks skeptical and Sandy drops off his sweet tea before leaving quickly. "Me and my husband haven't really been here together in a while, so it's really nice to get out and have lunch with someone new for a chance." Blake nods in what looks like understanding.

"I understand. My ex-wife and I used to love going to a small italian restaurant every Friday for dinner on the outskirts of the town we lived in. Things became too... hectic for us and we no longer had the time nor the want to go there anymore or do much of anything really."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I reply and it breaks my heart a bit to know this piece information about Blake. He really does seem like a nice guy although every relationship is different and I do not know his ex-wife to judge her or their relationship. Plus, it would be like throwing stones at a glass house or the pot calling the kettle black.

"No worries," Blake smiles lightly at me, "It was awhile ago and we are both happy just being friends now. We were always better at that anyhow. I sorry that I'm rambling on, so just stop me if you want-"

"No, it's okay. I actually...prefer that you talk. I can completely relate to your situation."

"I don't mind if you want to talk about it." I swallow the lump in my throat and contemplate this. Blake just shared something so personal to him with me and he's offering to listen to me, so why not? Best to get advice from someone who's already traveled down this road before.

"Me and my husband are very similar to you and your ex-wife. We have a strong friendship, but romantically we've honestly fell off track. Our schedules never link up and when we are off from work or have a moment to ourselves we never want to spend it with each other. It's not like I want to neglect him or choose him over _work_ it's just…" I trail off and Blake gently places his large hands on top of my much smaller ones.

"Honestly Sharon, you shouldn't blame yourself for doing what you love. And I hope I'm not out of line by saying this but I think your husband would be a damn fool to let something like this throw a permanent rift in your relationship." I stare at Blake in shock. He removes his hand from mine as I register what he just said.

**(*)**

Our food comes a moment later and we both dig in and talk about much smaller things as if our earlier conversation never even happened. When we're both done eating and laughing about something that happened in one of Blake's classes today his phone rings. Blake wipes his mouth with the white cloth napkin before fishing the white phone out of his back pocket and excusing himself to answer his phone.

Sandy returns to clear the table of our plates and glasses and Blake makes his way back to our table.

"Work?" I ask with a grin.

He gives a joking grin back, "Yes, just one of my students calling me to tell me she's going to be out today. Her child is sick with what may be a minor cold, but she wants to take him to receive medical attention to be sure."

"I hope her child is okay and that her grade doesn't suffer because of this."

"No, I don't require my students to attend class, so if situations similar to this happens to pop up or if they would rather watch reruns of the _Walking Dead_ then they are free to do so."

"But won't they fail the class by not coming," I laugh at Blake's nonchalant shrug.

"Yes, but she won't fail because she attends every class meeting and works the hardest in her class despite being a single mother. I appreciate that and understand that life happens and that she has to put her child and health before my class."

"Wish I had more professors like you when I was in college."

"I doubt it. I'm barely able to shut my trap during my classes."

"But that's a good thing. I often wished my professors would talk or explain themselves more, I just really appreciate a good class discussion."

"Exactly, what good is it to just stare at a book the entire semester!" We both laugh and as we begin to wind down Sandy approaches our table and gives us the bill. I reach forward, but Blake stops me by once again placing his hand on mine.

"I got it." He says simply.

"But, I invited you, it's only fair that I pay."

"No way, I enjoyed myself, so how about we split the check then. That's good?"

"Its great," I smile and remove my turquoise wallet from my purse and the cash to split the bill and leave a hefty tip. We both place our money in the check holder and I continue to smile before chuckling lightly.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?" Blake asks.

"It's just Randy always pays when we go out. And you were actually willing to split it."

"I mean why not. Keeps both of us happy."

"I wish he understood that." Sandy comes by to collect the check and I gather my purse and we both walk out to the parking lot.

"Well, this is me," I state as we come to a stop next to my car.

"I really enjoyed having lunch with you Sharon, we should do this again."

"Yes, for sure, soon." I lightly play with the keys in my hand, trying to think of something more to say.

"Just give me a call and we can make it happen."

"Okay, bye Blake." I unlock my car door, but his voice stops me with my hand on the door handle.

"And by the way, Sharon?" I turn around and Blake's piercing glare catches me off guard, "You deserve so much more than…" He trails off and doesn't finish his sentence, but I hear his unspoken words anyway. "I just wish _you_ understood that." He says finally before walking away and across the parking lot.

I get inside of my car and start it up before pulling out of the crowded parking lot. As I'm driving back to the hospital I stop at red light and Blake's words swim back to me. The light _still_ hasn't turned green and tears begin to roll down my face because it's true and i-it hurts for someone _else_ to tell me this and it hurts because it's the truth.

* * *

Friday couldn't come any sooner...at least that's what I originally thought. I'm done with whatever shit Gerald Broflovski wanted me to do Today and now as I lounge on the sofa downstairs I have to listen to the other one yap my ears off.

"Dude, don't you have a party you're supposed to be setting up for?" I interrupt, "Yeah...go do that."

"I'm done, everything's ready." Damnit, worth a shot right? "I seriously need to get wasted tonight."

"Great, get pissed drunk and do something you'd regret. How rare."

"Ha ha, you're sarcasm is so hilarious to me."

"Well I try." I say sickly sweet.

"Asshole."

"Anyway, rumor has it Park County's golden couple broke up."

"Golden? Hardly. But I heard."

"Yeah, how tragic. And considering how M.I.A Wendy's been the past two days he did it."

"So he finally grew a pair."

"Exactly, but I'm more interested in the fact that you actually agreed to tutor the guy."

"Its nothing really."

"You sure?" I smirk, "I thought you hated him."

"What's the point?"

"What?"

"What is the point in me even hating him anymore. Look," Kyle heaves a heavy sigh through the phone.

"This has been going on for so long that I...I just can't keep fighting this anymore. I literally don't have the energy nor care to continue to hate the dude. What happened in the past happened, I need to move on."

"So...you're serious right now?"

"Yeah, I'm done."

"Wow, how mature of you Kyle, are you going to start writing your dissertation now."

"Don't be a smartass."

"Yeah alright. I believe you, about time you man the fuck up and stop whining over the dude."

"Like I didn't listen to you bitch and moan over Heidi when she broke up with you."

"That's different. I didn't spend my time hating the bitch I just got even."

"But that's the difference between me and you Cartman I don't have to get someone back. I'm content to just move on."

"Uh huh, after almost three years of brooding."

"Is there a point to this?" Kyle asks annoyance pouring through the phone.

"No, just saying, but anyway I'll probably see you later."

"And I'll probably punch you in the face if you don't, bye." I hang up with a chuckle and throw my phone beside me on the sofa.

Moving on? _Letting_ go? Fuck if I believe that one. See, as much as Kyle likes to believe we're different we're somewhat alike. I know him, and the bullshit he just spewed to me was exactly what it is. Bullshit. This is the same stubborn and firecracker jew that swore up and down that if someone ever crossed him he would make them regret it.

Only one person ever crossed Kyle (not counting Stan) was Terrance Mephesto and he'd never do it again. After Kyle beat the holy crap out of him in front of everyone and sent his little minions after him for spreading nasty rumors and talking crap about him all sophomore year he's flown under the radar ever since. I can barely even feel an ounce of pity for the fucker, he's such a fuck head always has been and still is, but I will admit he does have balls.

Stan has always been a special case, he and Kyle go at it like cats and dogs, but they're evenly matched when it comes to reputation and influence. So, no I don't believe Kyle when he says he's 'let' this hate he has for Stan completely go. How do you just let go of two and a half years of fighting, rumors, vicious pranks and name-calling? Especially from someone who used to be your super best friend and practically attached to your hip.

Everywhere Stan went Kyle went and vice versa. There was no separating the two, if you wanted one the other came along and if you had an issue then you got neither. It was so sickening. But I'd honestly rather puke my guts out than have to deal with the messes they both make. I laugh to myself humorlessly at this entire situation. Everything just completely shot to hell because Stan just couldn't keep his dick in his pants.

* * *

"Are you going to Kyle's party tonight?" I look away from the laptop in front of me to look at Red.

"No." I say shortly and continue typing.

"Well, why not?"

"Because I don't really feel like partying tonight."

"Then what are you gonna do then?"

"Work, eat, and probably watch some TV. Why?"

"It's a Friday! What do you mean why?"

"And? It's just another day. I still have to finish this paper due in a few weeks," I rub the heels of my palms on my eyes briefly before turning back to the laptop screen. And its silent for a few long drawn out moments before I decide to ask, fed up with the grating silence, "What?"

"Hmm, you talking to me?" Red asks feigning innocence.

"Who else would I be talking to? I feel like you have something to say."

"I do, but I don't know how you'll take it."

"Just say it."

"Fine. You're kind of boring."

"Boring?"

"Yep, like, we've been doing this tutoring thing for weeks now right? And I know nothing about you and you never do anything, but work or occasionally watch whatever's on TV."

"Doesn't mean I'm boring."

"Tell me something then. What's exciting about you?" I think about this and I hate the fact that she's actually right. Maybe I am boring. "See, this is what I'm talking about Token." Red comes around to my side of the sofa in the large living room, left hand poised on her hip. "I've gotta get you to loosen up some."

I clear my throat abruptly, "I'm good."

"You are not. How about this," Red sits on the armrest of the sofa, "You tell me something about yourself and I'll tell you something about me."

"Why should I?"

"Because-"

"What can you possibly tell me that entire school doesn't know?" I try to call her bluff although I know nothing about her reputation other than the fact that she's known to sleep around. She doesn't answer for a moment and guilt registers within me. That was fucked up even for me. "I'm sorry, that was-"

"A lot. I can tell you a lot, only if you would want to know."

"Alright," I say quickly still feeling slightly guilty from my previous statement.

"You start," She says crossing her legs in front of her.

"What do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"I don't really have one."

"Come on, one color that you'd rather see out of all the others. For example, my favorite color is Red. My parents used to call me this as a child so much I actually thought it was my name and I liked it so it stuck."

"What is your real name?"

"Rebecca. Gross."

"No, I like it." I disagree to Red's obvious disgust.

"It's so vanilla, so... normal I like Red better, because the color red is just so awesome you know? It's raw and passionate, uninhibited, and just deviant. So, what's your color?"

"Purple."

Red smiles, "Purple is passionate too. It's a deep passion that's not so obvious. It's comforting to know that something can be so bold, but still truly hidden." I didn't peg Red as the philosophical type.

"What do you want to do with your life Red?"

"Would I sound stupid if I said I don't know."

"Maybe. But then I'll be stupid too." I say, closing my laptop and sitting it on the coffee table in front of us.

"You? I bet you have your whole life mapped out by now. You're so smart any school would take you and it just seems to come easy to you."

"I'm just human and despite what you and everyone else thinks I'm just a stupid high school boy."

Red just shakes her head at me, "You're so much more. You just can't see it."

"Yeah, whatever." I say and Red just laughs and pushes my shoulder. A small smile reluctantly pulls at the corner of my lips at Red's high pitch squeaky laughter.

**(*)**

The conversation turns to less serious topics and it's good. Its honestly better than good, but I'll never admit it. I've learned that Red has a knack for cracking jokes that are actually funny. She actually seems interested in the stupid things that happens in my life or what she now calls 'dumb boy logic' I often spew out.

If someone would have told me in a million years that I would be sitting next to Red and actually having a debate about The comic book Avengers and the movie I would've laughed in their faces. After what feels only like at least 30 minutes I check my phone and the time reads 9:45. We've actually been talking for three hours straight. I lock my phone and Red looks at me in question.

"Don't you have a party to get to."

"I don't know, I kinda don't want to go now. There will be other parties and I doubt Kyle wants me there."

"What happened between you and Kyle anyway?" I ask a bit unsure if it's alright.

"It's stupid. We were supposed to hook up, but he...he flat out turned me down. He said something's that hurt, but I got over it. I always do."

"I'm sorry, Kyle can be a-"

"Asshole."

"Yeah, that." I agree uncomfortably.

"It's not like I haven't heard it before or been treated any different by anyone else."

"Then why do it? Why let them talk to you this way?"

"Because it's true," Red sighs and blows a stray red strand of hair out of her face. I don't know what to say to this. In the weeks I've actually been around Red she's been persistent in her work, friendly, nothing like anything I've heard from anyone else or around the school. "Anyway, I'll get out of your hair now. I know you have schoolwork and things to do." Red stands and I stand as well.

"No," I find myself saying, "You're okay."

Red walks over to the sofa she occupied three hours ago and grabs her black zip-up jacket and backpack. I walk with Red to the front doors and she pauses before enveloping me into a hug. I'm taken aback by this, but she doesn't let go and I eventually relax in her hold, "It's nice to know someone thinks so."

She whispers before pulling away from me, "You're a rarity in my life." She wrings her hands together before turning around and walking to her convertible volkswagen beetle. She drives off and I watch until I can no longer see her long red hair blowing behind her in the cool October air.

* * *

To say this party is awesome would be a huge understatement, but I'd be damn if I admit it. "Its cool," I reply to Kenny before taking a sip of whatever drink Kenny made up. We're leaning against the wall in the living room and looking at all the drunk kids making asses of themselves.

"Kyle, sure knows how to throw a hell of a party." He quickly throws his cup back before arms envelope him from behind.

"Kenny," Some girl purrs into Kenny's ear, but I hear it from standing so close. I move over a bit and Kenny shoots me a questioning look. I just nod before taking another sip and Kenny shoots me a weary look, but I ignore it and he reluctantly disappears with some chick. And good for him, he doesn't have to babysit me he should feel free to get fucked up if he wants. I nod at the occasional person that says something to me, but I don't try to make convo for too long.

I occasionally return to the kitchen to make more drinks and return to my space on the wall. After returning from my last drink run I see that a couple making out have occupied my spot and I click my teeth in annoyance and disgust at their sloppiness and maneuver through the sea of drunk bodies. But as I finally make it somewhere away from the mass of people in my direct line of vision is surprisingly Wendy and Bebe talking about something I can't hear. Wendy looks good as usual and when she laughs at whatever someone says to her pain lacerates my heart.

I don't know how long I just stand here and drink this awful night away and stare at Wendy. I'm annoyed at how many guys come up to her, how many guys that make her smile or laugh...it justs gnawing away at me. She's turned this way now and is saying something and I wish it was me she was speaking to. I finish off my drink and-

"Stan?" I look up and at Wendy who's standing a few feet away from me. She's staring at me nervously as she bites the corner of her lips.

"What?" I ask and my voice comes out harsher than I really feel. She shifts and I can tell she's a bit taken aback by my tone.

"Can we talk?" She rushes out.

"Why? I have nothing to say to you."

"Well, I do. Stop being so difficult and listen to me."

"I don't have to listen to you, I'm not some _child_!"

She frowns, "You're acting like one."

"I don't want to talk Wendy. Just please leave me alone."

"Stan-" Wendy starts, but I walk away anyway and grab an unopened bottle of jack daniels and head upstairs.

* * *

"H-heyy Craig," Tweak slurs as he moves closer to me enough to grind his hips against mine.

"Sup' Tweak," I reply mesmerized by the way Tweak's hips swing against my crotch. I smile at the wasted blonde and he smiles back cluelessly.

"Hey," I take Tweak's chin between my forefinger and thumb, "What did you take bunny?" Tweak smiles at the nickname a sign that he's probably beyond fucked up because he hates it when I call him that.

"Why aren't you dancing? Don-don't you wanna dance with me?" Tweak stares at me with huge doe eyes.

"You're so fucked up."

"No, but I'm t-trying to. Get fucked."

"Yeah, I got that, I thought you didn't roll that way?" Tweak just shrugs and continues to grind against me.

"It's a lot of things you don't know," He says cryptically and I clench my jaw at that. As if I haven't noticed since this summer.

"Like what?" I ask and Tweak doesn't reply and instead grabs the hem of his shirt and gets as far as his chest before I push his shirt back down.

"It's soo hot Craig," Tweak whines flinging himself against me and I try to ignore the stiffening in my pants.

"Bunny-," I start and he stares up at me.

"Hey, follow m-me?" Tweak says suddenly and hiccups before running away somewhere through the mass of people loitering around. Goddamnit! I follow in the direction Tweak went and spot the blonde going down a hallway before going upstairs.

I lose track of him by the time I reach the stairs, but I climb them anyway and walk down the long hallway and pass a handful of people kissing against the walls, and bodies gyrating to the loud music blasting throughout the house. I soon pass by an open bedroom door and notice a flash of light. Walking inside I had never been so sure that I like guys just as much (maybe even more) as girls.

There on top of the bed is Tweak without his green Invader Zim shirt, and tight dark blue jeans, and black vans with matching Invader Zim designs on the backstay on his knees staring at me in nothing, but red racer boxer briefs.

"Fuck," I can't help but comment at the sight of Tweak as I walk to the edge of the bed. Everyone knows that Tweak is cute, but like this...he looks really hot. Tweak smiles and wraps his arms around my neck pulling me in closer. I stare at the blonde haired boy in front of me and give him a small smile back before making a _firm_, but painful (considering the major hard on I'm sporting right now) decision.

"As much as I want to fuck you right now I can't." Tweak stares at me conflicted.

"But I want you to. I-I need it."

"No, not like this."

"But why? Why don't you ever give me what I want?" I back away and turn away from Tweak's adorably angry face and I can hear the comforter shift as he moves on the bed behind me. I take a quick deep breath before continuing as I turn back to Tweak. He instantly pulls me into a hug and I let him before finally speaking.

"Tweak I-" I didn't have time to finish before realizing Tweak had suddenly passed out in my arms, the sound of his soft breathing filling my ears. Just great. "Fuck my life."

* * *

For what feels like hours I sit on the floor in Kyle's huge room. I don't even know why I came here out of all the places to mope and get wasted. I guess its because its just so familiar to me, but looking around I realize that a lot has changed, it doesn't look how it did back when I knew every crook and cranny of this room, of this house. I guess I can also say the same about my room too, it's no longer the same either.

Taking a swig of the half gone jack daniels bottle I relish the burn that flows to the pit of my stomach. At the sound of the door opening I internally cringe at thought that it may be Kyle, praying that it's not. It seems like my prayers have been ignored as the door closes and the sound of the lock clicking into place and the redhead steps into my view.

"What are you doing in my room?" Kyle asks angrily as he glares at me. I refuse to answer and he moves closer, "I hope you didn't touch any of my shit."

"I didn't," I reply and take in another mouthful of jack daniels. Kyle stares at me in annoyance.

"Why are you in here?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because this is my house and you are in _my_ room. I need an explanation."

"Fine." I hold back the embarrassment I feel and continue, "I needed to get away from Wendy so I came here." There's a long uncomfortable silence and I try to ignore it by burying my head in my knees as the house thumps with the sound of _Diamonds Dancing _vibrating the entire house.

"I should kick you out. I should downright hand you off to Wendy, but...I won't."

"Why?" I ask not looking up.

"Do you really want to know?"

"No."

"Why are you avoiding her?" Kyle asks and I pause wondering if he really cares. Probably not, but I don't really contemplate it more before speaking as he sits across from me on his bedroom floor.

"She wants to talk and I don't."

"About?"

"Why I called for a break."

"Then why not explain yourself?"

"She just wants to get back together."

"And you don't?" I don't answer that and instead lift the liquor bottle to my lips only for Kyle to swipe it from my loose hands. He lifts the whiskey bottle to his lips and takes a long swig before passing it back to me.

"She doesn't know what she wants." I say instead.

"And you do?"

I shrug. "Not really."

"Do you want to know what I think?"

"Not really."

"Look fuck face, I'm trying to help you out."

"I never asked you to."

"You obviously need someone to help you with this clusterfuck you've created."

"What are you going to tell me? How to fuck things up even worse? I'm good." Kyle visibly clenches his jaw in frustration and I stop myself from feeling like shit for giving him a hard time.

"So what then? You are just going to keep hiding from Wendy and try to stop yourself from exploding each time a guy talks to her. So, you're just going to continue to brood the rest of the year?"

"No."

"Then what? You need to man up and get over this. You made this decision so live with it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm not a total douchebag."

"Could've fooled me."

"Yeah well." Is all Kyle says before taking the bottle I offer to him.

"Can I be honest." The words slip from my drunken mouth before I can stop them. "Like all bullshit aside."

"As long as you don't get all sappy on me dude." I chuckle at that and he takes another drink.

"Isn't this like weird? Me and you actually having a decent conversation." I expect Kyle to downright ignore me or roll his eyes and stand up, but shocking me he answers.

"Yeah, but since we're being somewhat honest I'm done fighting with you."

"Me too. It's pointless you know?"

"Exactly." Kyle continues to drink from the almost empty bottle and its overwhelmly awkward. "What's up with you?" Kyle finally asks.

"Its really awkward."

"That's all?"

"Yeah…"

"Of course it's awkward you're just sitting there looking like you're two seconds away from puking." Kyle scrunches his nose up in disgust, "And this isn't third grade and I'm not Wendy, so the bin is over there." I laugh at that before passing the bottle to Kyle who finishes it off. "Just say something dude, It's not like I'm going to kill you or anything. Maybe."

"Shut up," I reply and Kyle grins at that and the tension in my shoulders loosens a bit. "Where's your Xbox?"

**(*)**

Kyle goes over to the flat screen in his room and hooks up his Xbox before handing me a controller. "Still shit at Xbox Stan?"

"Please I totally owned your ass at video games."

"You're clearly delusional Marsh. It was me who did the owning."

"We'll just have to see then won't we," Kyle laughs and my chest flutters at that. Kyle puts in the new _Mortal Kombat _and sits down next to me as the game starts up.

We drunkenly play _Mortal Kombat_ which turns out to be as fun as it...used to. We joke around and occasionally mess each other up before erupting into more laughter. And I just feel so lightheaded, I don't think I've laughed so much in so long. When we contemplate sliding in another game Kyle stands and looks at his phone before calling it quits. "I have to go and kick these drunk fuckers out of my house." I laugh walking to the door. Apprehension fills me as I place my hand on the cool door knob.

"This wasn't as painful as I thought it would be."

"The only thing that was painful was watching you lose."

"Yeah alright, I lost." I stop not finishing what I was going to say and Kyle shows no signs of noticing or picking up on the unspoken words: 'this time'. Will there even be a next time? I swallow the lump in my throat at the reality that it won't be. That I was just afforded the tiniest glimpse of Kyle. Of the real Kyle, _my_ Kyle. Everything will change as soon as we walk out the door and suddenly I hate it. I hate that it has to be this way and I haven't felt this way for so _long_. "Thanks," I say and it doesn't feel so forced this time.

"For what?"

'For just being you.' "For the advice."

"Oh, no problem. If you've forgot I kinda have a tact for helping people out with their shitty situations." We laugh again and it sobers too quickly.

"Well, I'm gonna go then. I rode over with Kenny."

"Yeah, I heard he got his car back." Why does it feel like we're grasping for words and things to talk about. To avoid the inevitable.

"Yep." I reply with nothing else to say and twist the doorknob to open the door and leave out. I close the door behind me and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding before hurrying down the stairs to find Kenny so we can leave. I find the golden blonde leaning against the banister keys in hand talking to Kevin Stoley.

"Hey, Stan," He greets turning to me and I nod before giving a handshake to Kevin.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, lead the way." We both head outside and into the cold October air and to Kenny's amazing blue refurbished 1975 Mustang Fastback. Kenny fixed and upgraded this car all by himself since he found it in the junk-yard freshmen year and there's not a scratch in sight. The inside is smooth black leather with all new upgrades. To say he loves this car is an understatement. We both get inside and Kenny turns on the heat before heading down the street and towards town.

"Hungry? I feel like getting some food."

"That'd be awesome right about now."

"Enjoy the party?"

"Yeah." I reply as we glide through the town. 'More than you think.'


	20. The King and Queen

The King and Queen

* * *

This has to be the weirdest show I've ever seen. But you know what? I don't care. All I care about right now is Georgie being snuggled into me. We're just lounging around in my living room watching something that has fully captivated his attention and he just looks so cute right now. I'm probably going to get chewed out for skipping school today...if anyone finds out, but seeing as it's nearing school's end it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.

Who cares if I miss at least one day of school to hang out with this adorable creature in my lap? I'm just going to sit through hour long lectures over something I already know and be assigned homework I've already done so what's the use? It's also a good thing Kyle is still at school and mom is out at one of the community meetings and dad's at his office. Perfect.

"Hey, what are you smiling about, love?"

"Nothing," I reply running my hands through Georgie's dark hair. He just rolls his light grey eyes at me before gluing them back to the screen.

"You are such a weirdo sometimes." He comments idly.

I chuckle lightly, "That's like the pot calling the kettle black. You've been watching a show about a group of people that are literally being buried alive."

"What? It's interesting."

"You're not the only person that thinks that," I mention. The only reason we're able to watch this episode was because someone saved it on the TV.

"This is so cool and you're just a pussy conformist." Georgie states in the most nonchalant tone I've ever heard.

"No, I'm just not into Taphephilia."

"What are you into?"

"You."

Georgie stares at me before blushing and lightly pushing my face away, "Whatever."

Georgie returns to laying all over my lap and watching his show and I continue to play with his silky strands for what feels like only ten minutes. We both instantly jump up at the sound of the front door opening and instantly separate as Kyle walks into the living room.

"Hey, what are you two doing here?"

"I could ask you the same. You're early?"

"No, school ended about twenty minutes ago. Half of that I spent driving home, how'd you get here before me?"

"I-I-"

"I gave him a ride," Georgie speaks up and we both turn our attention to him. "I skipped my last period and he just came running out."

Kyle nods as he slides out of his black leather jacket before throwing it over his arm, "Georgie, you gotta stop breaking traffic laws just to get my little brother home," I erupt into laughter at Georgie's mock appalled expression.

"I would never."

"So, two weeks ago you didn't almost rear-end a guy for driving too slow?"

"How do you know about that?"

"You flipped me off!" Kyle replies trying not to laugh himself.

"Ooh...yeah." Is all Georgie says and Kyle just ruffles his hair fondly as he makes his way into the kitchen.

"Anyway, how was school?" Kyle asks from the kitchen and Georgie and I look at each other quickly before I open my mouth to speak.

"It was good."

"Yeah? What happened today in freshmen land?"

"Nothing much just work, lunch and even more work."

"Wow, how exciting. So, nothing?"

"Nope, just a regular day. How was your day dear brother?"

"My day was cool my fine brother." Kyle walks back into the living room with a powerade in his hands, "I'm so psyched for the start of basketball season. Although, Coach is thinking about starting practices early this year and with everything else that's going on that may not be a bad idea."

"Why?"

"Good stress reliever."

"I thought you had other means for that."

Kyle chuckles, "Not that type of stress. But this year is going to awesome for our team, I can feel it."

"I hear our football team is doing great too."

"As always."

"So, what are you doing today?"

"Nothing _fabulous_ that's for sure."

"Yeah, but what exactly?"

"I don't know, I'll probably visit Craig or something."

Crap. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know. You look kind of tired dude, maybe you should take a nap or something or go for a run, that always makes you feel better right?"

"Maybe, but I don't feel really tired."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure.

"Anything you're supposed to be doing other than being...here."

"Not now, no. What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing, we were just going to watch a show about someone being buried alive."

Kyle glances at the TV where it is paused, "Okay, well I'll leave you guys too it."

"Kay, bye Kyle." Georgie and I say simultaneously.

Once we hear the faint sound of Kyle's door closing we both release our breaths that we were holding.

We continue with the show, but reluctantly we sit a bit further apart incase Kyle or anyone decides to pop back in. That was a close call, but for the most part Kyle doesn't suspect a thing. My mind is worry free until Georgie stands up to take a bathroom break and I pause the TV again. And how the hell didn't I notice this. My heart rate picks up and a lump forms in the pit of my stomach and I try everything in my power to will this feeling away. Even as Georgie returns and quickly pecks me on the cheek before reclaiming his spot. Even as I un-pause the screen it just will not go away.

Clearly when I paused the TV from earlier it shows that we were watching this for over an hour. And school just ended approximately twenty-five minutes ago...and he saw, but didn't say anything. I'm screwed. Not only have I been caught lying, but Kyle will be more suspicious of everything I do now.

"Are you okay?" beside me, but a few meters away Georgie is staring at me. His facial appearance shows his usual nonchalance, but his eyes are flooded with concern.

And even though I'm practically freaking out right now I just nod trying to convince myself that it's nothing and that Kyle will never figure it out, not until I tell him. And that we will just have to be more careful now, "Yeah, I'm okay."

* * *

"Dude it's most likely nothing. I mean it's Filmore, he's a cool guy. He may be a little bit of a brat, but I'm most likely gonna take him under my wing."

"Like how Connor did to you?"

"Exactly. I see potential in him plus he wants to eventually make captain."

"Yeah, he is pretty good on the field, but I caught him making out with my sister dude."

"Yeah, but you were literally spying on them."

"Just because I like to keep my sister safe doesn't mean I'm spying."

"Dude, dressing up in all black with some sort of mask does qualify as spying."

"Well, I couldn't be obvious okay?" Kenny relents and I smile as I continue to barely watch ESPN. "It's not like I still dress up in cape-" I can't help it I burst into laughter at the mention of an eighteen year old Kenny dressed in a cape and huge mysterion hat. "Stop laughing you turd." I can't help it, I try to imagine hiding his now long blonde hair up in a ridiculous decorated hat.

"Wow Shelly, nice come back."

"Seriously, the only reason I still do this is to protect."

"From what dude? Someone who steals candy bars?" After my laughter winds down and I can breathe properly again I gently tap my blue sock covered foot against Kenny's abdomen, "Don't worry, Bruce Wayne would be proud."

"Yes, because that's all I've ever wanted was to be Batman's kid. For him to finally understand that this is my true calling," Kenny says and I laugh at how dramatic he is.

"On a serious note, have you told her yet?"

"No, I'm thinking about doing it sometime this week." I nod and glance down at my new transparent Captain America's Shield designed Iphone as it chimes with a text. I get as far as reading the name of the sender before Kenny plops right on top of me. I move my phone out of reach which causes Kenny to wiggle his eyebrows at me.

"Who's that?"

"None of your business you perv..." I comment just to see Kenny's reaction and as expected he just gives me an impish grin that I honestly find a bit taunting. He doesn't say anything else and I wish he would considering he's practically laying on top of me. We're just staring at each other, daring the other to look away first. After a minute or so Kenny leans in first his long golden blonde hair framing his face and I try to calm my heartbeat from spinning out of control at the action. I can feel his breath against my lips as he softly pecks my lips.

I stare up at Kenny's sky blue eyes as he sits up and agilely climbs off of me. He takes up his original spot next to me and picks up the remote to flip channels, "Gross is there anything other than reality tv shows on?" Kenny groans and I chuckle at his frustration to which I notice his lips upturned in a small smile.

Why does it seem so...easy with Kenny? Its supposed to be awkward to kiss one of your best friends, right? But here we are watching some dumb housewives show and laughing our asses off at the shenanigans. I try to compare it to one of Craig's kisses, but those are purely friendly considering he's kissed all of his closest friends in some way or another.

**(*)**

When Kenny goes upstairs to grab something I remember that I received a text earlier. I unlock my screen and go to my messages, scrolling past all of the bullcrap I don't feel like reading and click on the one I got almost twenty minutes ago.

_From: Broflovski_

_Bored._

I roll my eyes at his one word text, but reply anyway.

_Me: So? _

Surprisingly he replies within a few seconds.

_Broflovski: Do you wanna come over?_

_Me: Why?_

_Broflovski: To play video games. U up for it or not?_

I contemplate this. It was actually cool playing Xbox with Kyle last week at his party, it was the first real glimpse of the old Kyle that I've gotten in so long. My answer is automatic.

_Me: Ok._

_Broflovski: In 5._

_Me: Or else?_

_Broflovski: I'll sic my dog on you._

_Me: You don't even own a dog. Shelia would never let you have one._

_Broflovski: Thank you for that fun fact._

_Me: I still have sparky and I'm thinking about getting a new one._

_Broflovski: And?_

_Me: Do you want one?_

_Broflovski: Are you seriously offering to buy me a dog?_

_Me: Only if you want._

_Me: There's plenty of dogs at the shelter that need homes._

_Broflovski: ...Yeah...anyway, are you still coming or what?_

_Me: Yeah after I leave Kenny's house._

_Broflovski: You hang out with Kenny a lot?_

_Me: Why do you care?_

_Broflovski: I don't. Just asking._

_Me: Uh huh._

"Hey, I found it!" Kenny cheers as he plops back on the sectional sofa with me. I take the guitar pick out of Kenny's fingers. It must have fell out of my back pocket last time I was over and although I have more this one is special.

"Thanks Ken," I reply and Kenny nods before propping his black drawstring sweatpants clad legs on my lap as he reads something on his pizza Iphone. When he sits his phone back on the coffee table with a frown I feel the need to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Its Butters. His fuckwit parents grounded him again."

"Why?"

Kenny looks a little hesitant at first before answering, "They caught him having sex with Pete."

"The goth?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"I know."

"I honestly didn't think Butters was Pete's type."

"I mean who isn't."

I snort trying not to laugh at how curious Kenny sounded, "What?

"I mean he's just everyone's type. Butters that is."

"Maybe," I reply a little unsure of what Kenny's trying to say. "Anywho, I think I'm going to go now," I say standing up.

"Alright, see you later man. I'll text you or somethin'."

"Okay, and you wanna get milkshakes after school tomorrow?"

Kenny stares at me from upside down on the long sofa, "It's a date."

I wave off Kenny's charming smile before leaving.

* * *

"Shelly have you seen my lime converses?"

"Lime? Do you mean the _green _ones that you left somewhere in the hallway?"

"No, I mean my lime converses. But thanks for the info." Jessica turns her nose up and walk out of my room and into the hallway to look for her shoes.

"They're green," I call and I snort in laughter picturing her wrinkled nose. "Lime is a shade of green." I say to her as she plops her lazy ass on my bed to lace up her shoes. Jessica doesn't reply and only briefly flips me off. I pretend to kick my light blue colored sock foot at my best friend's head and she just stands and stares at me with a fake annoyed huff.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon on, what is it?" I press.

"Do you wanna go to the movies or something tonight? I'm bored."

"You're always bored."

"Yeah because I literally can't stay still for five seconds! So please entertain me!" Jessica pleads pushing her pastel blue colored hair close to mine, honey eyes boring into my regular brown ones. People honestly love Jess because she's so cool and laid back, but anyone who's ever spent more than a few hours with her on a daily basis knows that she's extremely eccentric and I love her regardless.

"I thought you had a meeting with your lacrosse team that you have to go to later?"

"No, it's canceled," I don't say anything and a few seconds later Jessica stares at me with puppy eyes. She is absolutely horrible when she does this. Not that she's bad, but because she looks so adorable it's terrifying.

"Okay. I was gonna let you come with me you jerk off."

"Great, love you Shell. So where are we going."

"To Casey's frat house."

"Really?!" Jessica asks incredulously.

"What? You wanted to come and I already promised I would come tonight."

"Great, so I'm stuck being a third wheel again."

"No, we're just going to hang out and watch movies or somethin'. Seriously." I reassure as Jessica raises a skeptical finely arched brow.

"Fine, but as long as you keep Andy away from me. He's such a freaking idiot," She adds on with a roll of her eyes.

"Deal."

**(*)**

Jessica and I hurry up the short stairs to the large frat house and I try to ignore the biting wind through my jacket as we approach the front door. I ring the doorbell and we wait a few seconds before the door swings open to reveal Casey.

"Hey Shell," Casey smiles charmingly at me before his eyes glide over to Jessica standing next to me.

"Hey Jess-"

"Yeah, yeah, hey Casey," Jessica says impatiently with a wave of her hand and Casey just smirks.

"What crawled up your leg and died?"

"Be nice," I comment before Jessica can retort, "We're freezing our asses off so if you don't mind." Casey opens the door wider and we both walk in.

"Nice decorations, festive-" Jessica comments arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Thanks." Casey replies as he takes my jacket.

"But it's still tacky."

"Who dares insult my decorating skills?" A voice asks from behind us.

"Decorating skills? Barely." Jessica replies turning around only to be met with Casey's frat brother Andy's smiling face.

"Jessica darlin' where have you been lately?" Andy continues to smile and Jessica obnoxiously groans in irritation and Casey and I just watch them both in amusement.

Andy is the textbook definition of a preppy flamboyant rich kid. And Jessica completely hates him. Andy is admittedly hot, but good looks be damned in Jessica's case. It doesn't matter that besides being good looking he's really funny, top of his class, and an all around cool guy Jessica just doesn't like him. Although, that doesn't stop him from hitting on her every chance he gets. She swears it's to get a rise out of her, but clearly he's just has a major crush on her, right? Who else would try this hard?

"Not around you."

"Clearly, or else I wouldn't have asked." Andy runs his long fingers through his long wavy black hair in the way a supermodel might.

"What do you want?" Jessica asks impatiently.

"I should be asking you the same thing. You are in my frat house?"

"Yeah, well screw you. I'm only here to watch scary movies or _The Lion King_."

"What a coincidence, I was just setting up the game room where we'll be having this 'movie night'. Hopefully I'll get a seat next to you and then we can maybe catch up."

"No thank you, I don't enjoy you're 'chirping' personality as much as you do."

"Why? I quite enjoy yours," Andy replies sarcasm dripping from his words.

"Fuck you," Jessica says in a dull tone.

"I dare you."

"Gross," Jessica replies her brown cheeks tinting slightly red before turning away and Andy trailing her like a lost puppy.

"Soulmates," Casey comments in a fake sickly sweet voice and I smirk.

"Totally."

"Hey, Case!" Someone calls and we both turn around.

"Hey Con," Casey smiles as another hot guy stops in front of us, "Shelly, this is Connor Ackles." Ackles? That sounds familiar, but I just can't remember where I've heard the name from.

"Hey," Connor holds his hand out for me to shake.

We shake hands briefly and I still can't place his name for the life of me. I feel like I should be making some connection. "This is Connor's second semester here, but he's practically been apart of our family for awhile."

"Yeah, my dad is an alumni here and was a past frat brother and so was his father and so on." I just nod from the lack of anything really substantial to say to that.

"I actually wanted you guys to meet earlier because Connor here is actually from Colorado."

"Oh, really? Where?"

"South Park." Bingo.

"Me too."

"Well, this is interesting?"

"Did you go to Park County?"

"Yeah, best high school in the state."

"You said your last name is Ackles? Did you play on our high school football team?"

"I was captain."

"Exactly. I heard of you, I was a grade ahead of you."

"You a fan of football?"

"No, my brother Stan is on the football team and I would go to his games sometimes."

"Stan Marsh? You're his sister?"

"Yup, _the_ one and only Shelly Marsh."

"Your brother is awesome. I actually invited him up here during our march madness celebration."

"Recruiting early?" Casey asks Connor with a smirk.

"Stan would make a perfect addition to our family."

"You and my brother really close?"

"Very." Is all Connor says with a glint in his eye that I can't quite decipher. Connor smiles charmingly as ever and I just give a polite smile back as he and Casey continue to talk about things I don't really care about. Eventually we're (thankfully) interrupted by an angry scream of, "Casey get you're gross brother away from me!" With a weary sigh on Casey's part all three of us decide to go to the large game room.

Inside there is everything from two popcorn machines, pool tables placed in different sections of the room, and a dart board section horribly placed near the bar that is stocked to the brim and includes a kegerator. They also have arcade machines sorted around games ranging from _Pac Man _to _Tron_, pinball, foosball, mini basketball hoops. All in all it's a pretty incredible game room. As soon as Casey, Connor and I enter the decorated game room Jessica rolls her eyes at whatever she and Andy were talking about before grabbing me and sitting us among the plush pillows on the long sectional dark leather sofa.

"What do you all want to watch?" Casey asks.

"_The Lion King_!" Jessica answers and I chuckle at her enthusiasm before picking up the popcorn bowl on the glass coffee table and popping some in my awaiting mouth.

Jessica grabs a handful as well and eats a few before abruptly asking, "Who made this?" She didn't shout but everyone in the room stops and looks at us.

"I did," Connor says and all eyes turn to him before looking back for Jessica's reaction.

"Awesome. Make my popcorn every time," Connor shoots her one of his charming smiles before turning back to one of the guys at the foosball table.

Casey finally goes over to the huge flat screen and puts on Jessica's favorite-_The Lion King_ and more people shuffle in to watch the movie and drop off even more candy. Casey sits down next to me and I'm happily sated.

**(*)**

After watching the last four movies someone switches it to _Gone Girl_ and I shift uncomfortably from sitting for too long and glance longingly to the soft pallet of covers and pillows on the floor that Jessica has moved to lay on despite unknowingly giving Andy (who's sitting on the couch a few meters away from me) a clear shot of her ass. I stand and stretch, my bones popping back in place, and decide to go get some air that didn't consist of buttery popcorn and chocolate.

"Hey, where are you going?" Casey asks reaching over the arm of the sofa to gently hold my wrist,

"Outside for a few minutes."

"Are you okay? Do you need me to come?"

"No, I'm okay, just tired of sitting down."

"I'll come-"

"No, seriously stay here and hangout with your brothers, I'll be back." Reluctantly Casey lets me go and I smile to myself at his puppy dog act.

After maneuvering through all of the bodies in the room I exit and make my way out of the back patio door. I lean against the brick wall and check my emails and messages. I don't feel the need to answer any of them so when the name Skylar pops up I stop my thumb from scrolling down. I press the voice message and listen to it.

"Hey Shell...uhm I know you're probably wondering why I'm even calling you right now. A-and honestly I don't know why either...I just wanted to call and say 'hey'." Skylar chuckles at that and I laugh as well,

"How's life at Uni? Life here in South Park is the same as usual, but you probably already know that. Well anyway I hadn't talked to you since our last meeting at Harbucks and honestly it feels weird not having to meet you at crazy hours of the night or morning anymore..." There's a long pause and I quickly glance at my phone to see if the message ended, but it's still going. I put the phone back to my ear and Skylar speaks again, "Okay, I'm gonna go now, hopefully you get this and it doesn't accidently disappear in a black hole or anything," I laugh at that and the message finally ends. I stare at my phone for a few seconds before saving the message. I don't know why, but I do.

"Hey there," A voice speaks and I turn around hoping it's Casey, but I'm sadly mistaken as I watch as one guy is pushed against the brick wall farther down from where I'm standing. They haven't even noticed me but even from here I can make out Connor's grey v-neck as he's pushed against the brick house. I'm in a mild shock as I watch a guy with immaculate blonde hair in a light blue polo and white jeans and cardigan practically devour his face. They make out for a while before Connor pushes the guy away.

"What?" The blonde guy asks as he wipes his mouth, breath still labored.

"You can't just attack me like that." The blonde rolls his eyes as Connor continues, "What if one of my frat brothers saw us?"

"So? I drove all the way here just to see you and-"

"Look, calm down," Connor caresses the blonde's cheek briefly, "Tell me the good news first."

"Can't that wait?" He kisses Connor's long fingers and that was admittedly a little hot.

"No," Connor replies gruffly before moving his hand away completely.

"Please-" The blonde starts, but stops short at Connor's cutting look. "Fine," He says plainly, "What do you want to know first?"

"How's the queen?" Connor asks as he begins to pace.

"She's handled," The blonde snorts, "She went down without out a fight really. I honestly thought there would be more of a blowback." Who refers to someone by code names anymore? And who the hell did he _handle_?

"And the king?"

"Dealing. He's actually been taking this well. Everything is on track."

"Great. So is there anything I should be worried about?"

The blonde looks hesitant to answer, but answers with a short, "No."

Connor nods and accepts the blonde's kiss before breaking the connection between their lips briefly, "I _really_ hope you're not lying to me."

"No, never." The blonde whispers back and I have to strain my ears to hear.

"Why is that?"

"Because."

"You want this just as bad as me, huh?"

The blonde bites his bottom lip as he pulls away, "Yes."

"I wish I didn't feel this way." The blonde stares at Connor for awhile before hugging him close.

"I know. Me too." Nothing more is said as the two continue to make out and Connor removes the cardigan from the blonde's arms and-

"Shelly."

**(*)**

"Fuck!" I bite my fist to muffle my curse as I turn around to face Casey. "What are you doing here?" I whisper.

"I was looking for you, you've been out here for a while now. Are you okay?" I don't say anything and let Casey lead me through a side door that leads into the foyer.

"Yeah," I finally say as I relish the warmth of the frat house. "I was just checking my messages and zoned out for a bit."

"You sure?" I nod and smile lightly at Casey's constant concern for me.

"We can go back to the game room if you want."

"No, I'm kinda," Casey leans against the wall behind him, "Tired of that. Wanna go upstairs?"

"Sure, I'm cold and sleepy." Casey nods and we make our way up the curved stairs and down the left hallway. We stop momentarily at the sound of a scream (or moan) and I pray that it is not Connor and his blonde what's-his-face. Casey approaches the door and because I can't take the suspense I push lightly on the half closed door only to reveal the two bashful culprits.

"Really Jessica?"

"Oh, this is like Spring Break all over again!" Casey comments as he whips out his large gold customized Iphone and takes a few pictures.

"Get out!" Jessica screams throwing a pillow at Casey's face before jumping out of the large bed.

"Way to kill the mood bro," Andy says with a roll of his eyes before climbing out after Jessica.

"This is so embarrassing!" Jessica screams at Andy who tries to calm her down.

"Very," Casey and I agree as we look through the pictures.


	21. Promises

Promises

* * *

It took me no more than 15 minutes to arrive outside of Kyle's house, 5 minutes of which I spent debating whether or not I should actually ring the doorbell. I stare at the familiar door and everytime I lift my hand there's always something to change my mind. Like the time where Kyle and his cronies stole a pair of my pants for a whole week after gym, leaving me to borrow extra pairs from Craig. Or the time Kyle 'accidentally' threw a basketball at my face. Yeah...this may not be a good idea.

I turn around to head home, but unceremoniously the door swings open and I'm standing face to face with Kyle. He doesn't look annoyed, he doesn't look like anything as he just stares at me from the doorway. After a moment he clicks his teeth signaling his annoyance at my behavior before grabbing my wrist and pulling me inside, closing the door hurriedly.

"So you were just going to stand there?"

"I was unsure if I should really be here."

"Of course you're not supposed to be here. Christ, if anyone even saw you out there we'd get shit for it."

"So why did you even invite me over?"

"Just come on," Kyle says instead of answering me and pulls me upstairs to his bedroom.

Inside of Kyle's spacious room again instead of sitting on the floor I sit in one of the plush chairs in the room facing the TV. Kyle already has the Xbox set up and I hold back a small smile _Tomb Raider _pops up onto the screen. Kyle hands me a controler as he sits in a similar adjacent chair before starting the game.

"So, where is everyone?" I finally find the nerve to ask after five minutes of gameplay.

"Out. They're doing their own things."

"How's Ike?" I ask hoping I don't sound like I'm prying too much.

"He's good." I nod my head not so much as in acknowledgement than resigned that this is about all I'm going to get out of Kyle. "He was actually here earlier with his friend Georgie, but what else is new?"

I bite my bottom lip to hide my small smile, "They hang out a lot?"

"Yeah, all the time. That's all he can talk about besides the occasional drama surrounding Filmore."

"Really? Filmore seems like a pretty cool kid."

"Ike technically stole Ruby away from the poor kid. They resolved their issues, but Ike thinks he's hiding something from him."

"Like what?"

"He said something about Filmore being happier and not an annoying fuck watt. He seemed pretty determined to finding out what's going though."

I think back to my earlier conversation with Kenny about him catching Karen and Filmore kissing on the Tucker's doorstep, "I think Filmore may be dating Karen."

"Well, 'figures'," Kyle replies using finger quotes and I smirk at that. Always the sarcastic fuck. "So, did you ever talk to Wendy," Kyle asks and he's as blunt as he's always been.

"Yeah..."

"_Yeah_," Kyle prompts for more.

"Yeah, it didn't go well. At all, " I grimace mentally replaying the memory of Wendy slapping the fuck out of me.

* * *

...

Three minutes before the bell rings I quickly grab my stuff before heading to my locker and ignoring the questioning looks of everyone in class and my math teacher's demand for me to sit back down. I practically throw everything I don't need inside, grabbing my bag and slinging it on my shoulders. I'm not putting this off any longer and even though I hate to admit it, but Kyle was right. I need to talk to Wendy.

It's not even so much about the mean glares I've received from most of the girls that are close to Wendy. And it's not about the rumor that has spread like wildfire around the entire school that I'm dating a sophomore named Julie and Wendy caught us fucking in her bed resulting in our breakup. No, rumors barely even bother me anymore, and even though I'd like to believe there's always a bit of truth in each one, I've heard and been the central focus of too many fucked up and ridiculous ones. I decide to wait close to the backdoors knowing Wendy has cheerleading practice and lean against a custodian closet door as the bell rings.

I cross my arms in front of my chest and give the occasional head nod in acknowledgement to people that wave my way. But I'm not really paying attention to them, my attention is set on the long dark haired beauty dressed in a long sleeve black pant romper (don't ask me how I know this) and matching heels. She's as stunning as usual and I will away any apprehension I may be feeling about what I'm going to say. She goes to her locker and seems oblivious to the many glance overs guys give her as she does the simple task of just packing her bag. As she closes her locker and quickly makes her way down the hallway I call out her name and the sound of her heels clacking the linoleum floor stops as she turns towards me.

"Stan," Is all she says in lieu of greeting.

"How are you Wendy?"

"I'm...good. You?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay, what do you want Stan," Wendy asks impatiently as she quickly glances at the backdoor before training her dark eyes back on me.

"I wanted to-"

"Apologize?"

"No."

"Then what? You do realize that I have nothing more to say to you, right? And that you've been a major asshole to me since we've broke up." I open my mouth to speak, but Wendy continues, "Wait, let me clarify, because _you_ broke up with _me_."

"Look, I'm not here to apologize about breaking up. I wanted to, I still want to…" Wendy just glares at me, but I'm going to stand firm on this, "I _will_ apologize for how I handled it, but I want you to know that I'm not interested in getting back together. So...I need you to stop trying to talk about this and convince me otherwise. And even though I don't want to be together, I still do want you in my life...eventually."

After I'm done Wendy continues to stare at me seemingly baffled and taken aback at my words. And I can't help it anymore. My guilt is starting to overpower my need to take charge of this situation, "Wendy I'm-" Suddenly a cold hand collides harshly against my right cheek, my face turning to the side from its strong impact. I turn back to face Wendy and she's furious.

"Don't. You. Dare." Is all she says before practically bulldozing her way out of the backdoors. I stare at her retreating figure and the large metal door before it clinks back into place.

"Well, she sure did slap the fuck out of you." I look down the hall to find where the voice came from only to see no one in the empty hallway. Almost jumping three feet in the air I'm now face to face with the son of satan himself.

"Damien. What are you doing here?" Damien flicks his fingers causing fire to envelope a paper ball in his hand and I roll my eyes at his habit of setting things on fire.

"Well, _hello_ to you too Stanley."

"Sorry," I apologize, adjusting the straps of my bookbag. Damien waves off my apology .

"No worries," Is all he says and I'm once again reminded by how cool Damien is when he's not being a completely nosy and sarcastic bastard. "What was that all about? Julie?"

"Fuck off." I say, but it's light hearted as Damien gives a raspy chuckle, "I _officially_ ended things with Wendy." I start as we begin walking out of the backdoors.

"Hhmm." Damien nods contemplatively at my statement, encouraging me to go on.

"I told her that I still wanted her in my life and as you saw…"

"Is it what you truly wanted?"

"Yeah, I mean I think so," Damien glances at me briefly, "It feels right."

"Then let it be."

"I feel like shit for making her mad like that though."

"She will eventually get over it. Trust me, she has enough to deal with."

"Like what?" I ask, curious about what that could entail.

Damien smirks and shakes his head at me, "Nice try Stanely." Hey you can't blame a guy for trying.

Although Damien may swear like he doesn't know everything...sometimes I beg to differ because of the intel he usually comes up with. It can't be because he's observant, but then again...maybe it could considering Kenny is mostly the same way. It's weird, but what isn't in South Park.

As we continue to walk to the football field I begin to notice the various onlookers and notice the looks they give Damien and I. Most seem just genuinely curious, and some completely gawking at the sight of both of us. Damien is sort of infamous or an urban legend to the students here because most have never seen let alone met the guy in person.

And honestly on top of having interesting abilities being practically blessed with devastating looks and charm it's enough to make any man or woman quiver in want. Honestly, with those long legs, slim figure, slightly rosy cheeks, and perfectly trimmed black hair who wouldn't find him attractive? His reputation often precedes who he is as a person, considering the tales that he would roast you on the spot if you pissed him off or he'd turn you into a poptart. When really (just maybe) it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Yes, Damien had a bad temper when we were kids, but there's a significant difference from the brat he used to be to the guy he is now. He's actually really understanding and doesn't judge me on any of my stupid decisions. It takes a lot to infuriate him, but when he is upset it's like he's a completely different person. The only person that stands a chance to bringing him back down to Earth is Pip. A.K.A the love of his life.

The two have been together for awhile and apparently according to Kenny even before Damien decided to come back to South Park and Earth for that matter and are still going strong. I smile to myself at the thought of how complete polar opposites they both are. Damien is the embodiment of the word mysterious and Pip wears his oversized heart on his sleeve, but they couldn't be more right for each other.

When we reach the locker rooms we stop at the door, "You gonna stay and pick up some tips?" I lightly taunt to which Damien just rolls his dark shaded eyes.

"No, so I can look like a guido? I'm good." I laugh at his _Jersey Shore_ reference and his reference to a few bulky guys on the team. If most of these brown nosers knew that the _infamous_ Damien watched _Jersey Shore_ reruns they'd shit their pants. "I actually have to pick Pip up," Damien slightly grimaces, "Before heading off to work."

"I didn't see him today, where was he?"

"With his parents."

"His adopted parents or?"

"Both." My eyes are practically the size of saucers at this point.

"Really? How did he find his birth parents?"

"Lin and Terry (Pip's adoptive parents) told him."

"Wow, that's crazy. How long has he known?"

"For two months, they flew all the way from England to finally meet him."

"That's great, but...you don't look too happy."

"...I just think that if they wanted to find him they should have. Why wait?" I nod in understanding and a bit surprised that Damien shared this information with me.

"Maybe they didn't know how he would react to them. They gave him up at a young age and it's a possibility that he could've hated them." I tell Damien and he stares at me as he reluctantly processes this information. "But anyway dude, go pick up Pip and do whatever it is you need to do."

"Yes, and try not to accidentally fall on your ass again."

"What?! That was only one time," I protest, but I'm not able to hide the smile that continues to rise upon my face at the memory of the first football game during sophomore year. It rained during the half quarter and I fell on my ass in front of everyone on the wet and slippery grass.

"Yeah, _right_," Damien says sarcastically as he rolls his dark eyes before disappearing into thin air. I laugh to myself before pushing open the door to the outside locker rooms.

...

* * *

"Hey, dude are you alright?" I'm interrupted out of my thoughts by Kyle's voice and I now notice that my fingers have stopped moving on the controller all together. I look over at Kyle and he stares back with both eyebrows rose in askance.

"Yeah, just thinking about what happened is all."

"Well, don't do that." I want to ask why, but I decide not to as we make the silent agreement to continue playing.

"So," Kyle starts this time, but I continue to focus on the game ahead of us, "What were you and Kenny doing?"

"Just talking."

"Really, about what?" He continues to pry.

"Why?" I ask slightly annoyed by this. Why does he care?

"No reason, just curious."

"I honestly thought Kenny was supposed to hang out with Butters today."

"Butters is grounded," I quickly answer only to immediately regret it. I glance at Kyle and he looks curious, but _I_ honestly doubt Kenny'd want me to tell Kyle about Butters' um...predicament. I know he's not even focusing on the game anymore as I feel his eyes bore holes into my skull. I sigh in irritation at my slip up and pause the game. "What?" Is all I can muster at his glare and he does nothing, but shrug but the intensity doesn't let up.

"Why is Butters grounded?" He asks the dreaded question.

"Butters is always grounded."

"Yeah, but the way you're reacting...it's not over an un-organized pantry or anything school related. What is it?"

"Okay. Fine," I grit out. "But what makes you think I would ever tell you?" There's a long stretch of silence in which I try not to be too smug at having rendered Kyle speechless. Besides its true. I'm not obligated to tell him anything, we aren't even friends for chrissake!

I expect Kyle to ignore what I said and want to continue to play his Xbox instead his calm, but exasperated words shock me, "You're right. It's not like you're obligated to tell me," Kyle says reading my mind. He tries to give a small chuckle, but it fails and he just turns away from me." He runs his fingers through his red curls and I can't do anything, but awkwardly watch.

Actually looking at Kyle (which I don't ever really do anymore) I can see that he is put off about me not answering him. And from the way he continues to run his hand through his usually immaculate hair I can tell its out of frustration than actually anger. And his face...has he always looked this drained. He's not even looking at me anymore, he's trying to focus on the game, but I can see that his mind is elsewhere. I feel...admittedly guilty.

Clearly he is trying to at least be somewhat friendly to me by inviting me over, I doubt I would have done the same given our history. I have made no steps in even trying to make things better. Was that even the original goal? I doubt that too, but as I look at how gone he looks I feel the lines get blurry.

"His parents," I start albeit hesitantly, "Caught him having sex with Pete."

"The got-"

"Yeah. That one." I say with a slight nod. He doesn't say anything and I bite the inside of my cheek, "You can't tell anyone," I say finally, "Not to Kenny, not to anyone. Got it?"

"Who would I tell?"

"I don't know, everyone?"

"But that would imply that I got from someone and I take it Kenny told only you right?" He asks, but it's not really a question rather than a fact. "Do you really want people to know that we were actually hanging out?" I don't have to answer that and I can tell that he didn't expect me to. "Look, anything you say to me I won't tell."

"You won't?" I still question skeptically because really? Its Kyle. The guy who pack about a hundred water balloons in my locker last year. He spread so many fucking rumors about me.

"No."

"And I guess I won't say anything either. As long you don't."

"Agreed."

"Well, cool," I say from lack of better words to say and for the first time during our little 'hangout' Kyle smiles in laughter. His green eyes slightly crinkling on the ends and his laugher a bit deeper than I remember and I laugh as well because it's contagious.

"So do you want to finish playing or...?"

"No, not really. I actually need to finish up some homework I've been trying to avoid."

"Do you need help?"

"Not really. I mean you have better things to do than help me with the simple stuff. I'll figure it out."

"And risk getting it wrong? Plus I did promise to tutor you and I refuse to break promises." All I can do is stare at Kyle, but inside I'm stuck in a mild shock.

Mentally pinching myself I nod, "Okay, my bag is in my car so I'll be back," I stand from my seat and walk towards the door, but Kyle's voice stops me.

"Wait, you actually drove here!?"

"Yeah?" I say wondering why it's such a big deal.

"Are you crazy?" Kyle asks and it's not demeaning or mean as a smile graces his lips and his eyes widen in surprise. I find myself chuckling at his surprised look, "You do know that everyone is going to know you were at my house, right?"

"I parked a couple houses down."

"Oh, well good job, I guess?" Kyle replies with a shrug before we both erupt into laughter again "Okay, okay, just go get your bag already," Kyle says finally and I mumble out a quick, "K," before leaving.

* * *

Lying in my bed all I can do is watch the moon as it sits all shiny and bright in the dark sky. I wrap myself tighter in my light blue blankets and try to will away the pain and embarrassment I feel from earlier. I sigh and roll over onto my back wishing for a distraction. I can't believe I was s-so stupid. Why didn't I check to make sure I locked the door. Nevermind the fact that I shouldn't have had Pete over in the first place.

I'm just lucky enough that my mom caught me. I don't know what I would've done if my dad had came barging through my room and saw me on top of Pete. Gosh, just the thought of it is enough to send a shiver up my spine. My mom was shocked of course but not because it was a guy but rather the act itself. That was one of the main rules my parents set for me after I told them I was bi-sexual: Do Not Have Sex In Our House! Just another one of the rules I seem to be breaking lately.

I close my eyes hoping to just drift asleep, but I'm abruptly startled by a loud knocking on my window. Hastily I unravel myself from my covers and walk towards my closed window. I let my fingers ghost along the cold window before opening it and instantly jumping back as a black masked face pops into my view. Looking at the blonde hair that loosely hangs in a ponytail on his left shoulder as it glitters in the moonlight I move back letting the him in. He stealthily climbs all the way inside of my window and quietly steps on to my bedroom floor dressed in matching tight black cargo pants, long sleeve turtle neck, calf length combat boots, and gloves. And I flop back onto my bed as he pulls the mask off of his head.

"How're you keeping up buddy?" Kenny asks flopping down on his back beside me.

"I'm fine," I say quietly, but Kenny stares at me knowingly, "I'm just embarrassed is all. I'll get over it."

A few comfortable moments pass and I feel myself almost drifting off, "So," Kenny starts quietly, "How did Pete react when your mom walked in?" I burst out laughing before quickly calming down to light chuckles, hitting Kenny on the arm softly, "Seriously, did he clam up?"

"Kinda, he just froze in place, he was in shock really bad. I had to think of something quick to get my mom to go away."

"Wow, how manly. Why Pete anyway?"

"He's really nice and we've been seeing each for a few weeks now, so why not?"

"I knew there was something about him that was…" Kenny trails off as he stares at my ceiling.

"Off?"

"Sorta. Not that liking dick is wrong or anything."

"Hmm, really?" I ask lightly teasing, my eyebrows quirking up in curiosity.

"Yeah. I mean what's so bad about it."

"I don't know, but lots of people think so. My dad was sorta livid when I came out to them. He calmed down eventually but…"

"Yeah, I think that might've been a touchy subject for him considering who _he_ is."

With a sigh I finally say it, "I hate that I'm grounded."

"Me too."

"When will this stop? I hate the rules that just don't make any sense anymore. I'm eighteen and they rather stay oblivious to that fact. It's like it doesn't even matter. I just wish-"

"It stop," Kenny says completing my sentence. I feel Kenny's fingers lightly rub circles on my stomach. It feels really good. "It can. You can stop it."

"How?"

"Tell them. As much as I love how sweet you are, you gotta start standing up to your parents," Kenny whispers and I close my eyes feeling the lull of sleep pulling me. I remember the first time Kenny said those words to me. We were eleven and I had ran to Kenny's house to rant to him about how mean Cartman and few of the other boys were being. I smile faintly at the memory of Kenny taking my red crying face between his cold hands, "Don't just let them push you around Butters," I had started to nod as usual, but Kenny continued, "Not even me. You gotta stand up to them! It's okay to say no and it's okay to fight back." I nodded again and thanked Kenny even though I know I didn't have to. He's just always there for me, putting up with me. "Now where did you say they were headed?"

Kenny and I spent the whole day eating double chocolate chip cookies and lounging around various places in his house after we attacked the boys on the basketball court with about a hundred water balloons. Nevermind that it was freezing outside that day.

Before drifting completely I look at Kenny and he's staring at me with intense blue eyes as I fade. His soothing motions on my pale skin never ending.

* * *

Looks like tonight is going to be one of those nights...but what else is new. I contemplate leaving the comfort of my warm bed to pad my way to the bathroom and take my sleeping pills. That idea immediately escapes my mind at thought of the side effects. Looking beside me I spot my phone on my night stand and move to unplug it from its charger. I decide to play a couple games on it before giving up, completely bored. I flip on the TV on my wall and flip channels for a bit before settling on a game review on ESPN.

After a couple minutes I switch it to mute, hoping it'll lull me to sleep. I could laugh at that thought, I know I'm ultimately gonna pass out from exhaustion some time later. Leaning against the mountain of pillows I've made by the headboard of my large bed I check for the time. 4:15 the time screen reads back to me and I rub my annoyingly alert eyes in irritation. I scroll through twitter and instagram for a while, before growing bored. 4:20. I open up my messages and scroll down until I find the one I'm looking for. This is stupid. Really stupid. I quickly type in a simple text and its most likely my sleep deprived mind, but I send it before I can think more about it. 4:25.

_Me: U up?_

What am I even thinking? I'm seriously going to regret this in the morning, but honestly who would answer a random text at four in the morning? Someone who can't fucking sleep that's who. I continue to stare at the screen in front of me. 4:35. There's a brief ringing noise that seems to echo in my room and I quickly search for my phone wrapped between my covers to silence it.

_Broflovski: Why?_

_Me: Bored...can't sleep._

It takes longer for Kyle to reply and I figure he's probably gone back to sleep or back to whatever he was doing.

_Broflovski: I'm up now, what's up?_

_Me: U seriously gonna stay up with me?_

_Broflovski: Yeap, I'm probs gonna be pissed later but its whatever._

_Me: U don't mind?_

_Broflovski: No._

_Me: For real?_

_Broflovski: For reals._

I want to ask why? Why is he even talking to me at this hour. I glance at the time at the top of my phone. 4:50, ugh.

_Me: Thanks, for earlier. _

_Me: For helping me with my hw._

_Broflovski: Ur welcome_

_Me: I can practically see ur smirk through the phone._

_Me: Cocky._

_Broflovski: Maybe. _

_Me: ...are you going to English 2morrow?_

_Broflovski: Yeah, and no I'm not skipping like most of the juveniles in our class._

_Me: Why not?_

_Broflovski: Because what's the use when hundreds of people already posted about a #PCHSeniorSkipDay online already._

_Me: U have a point. We were just gonna go hang out at Starks anyway._

_Broflovski: I know I do. And Starks? That's the quickest way to get caught especially during the school day._

_Me: It was Kevin's idea._

_Broflovski: That explains it._

I laugh at that before replying a few seconds later.

_Me: Pretty much. But I seriously need a break._

_Broflovski: Why's that?_

_Me: Coach is hounding the entire football team hard about our upcoming game against Richmond._

_Broflovski: Great, the Richmond Bulldogs. I'm gonna love kicking their asses this year._

_Me: Me too, I hate their captain. Every year its seems like he gets more cockier and cockier._

_Broflovski: That dude is a right asshole. _

_Me: I know. Plus, everyone is asking me what I'm doing for my birthday and I have no fucking clue._

_Broflovski: Just do whatever you wanna do._

_Me: I'm thinking about throwing a party or maybe just getting together with the guys and hang out._

_Broflovski: Will I be invited?_

_Me: ...Do u wanna come?_

_Broflovski: I guess I can find the time to come. But just for a little while._

_Me: Okay...well I will put you on the list._

_Broflovski: Good._

_Me: Cool._

_Broflovski: Feeling sleepy yet?_

_Me: Maybe._

_Broflovski: Can't believe you woke me up at 4. How do you like... function?_

_Me: I do sleep. Just not enough._

_Broflovski: I would honestly chug about 20 cups of pure black coffee a day._

_Me: No you wouldn't. You would possibly overdose on caffeine._

_Me: And... you hate drinking your coffee black. _

_Broflovski: ...You remember that?_

_Me: How could I forget it? French vanilla latte with a dash of hazelnut and an extra shot of caffeine._

_Broflovski:...You used to hate it when I made you go on a coffee run with me._

_Me: That doesn't mean I forgot. It was one of the rare times your mom didn't go crazy over your sugar intake._

_Broflovski: She still does._

_Me: Figures._

_Me: Hey Kyle?_

_Broflovski: Yeah?_

_Me: I'm sorry._

His reply doesn't come as quick and I don't mind this time as I become more comfortable in spot in bed and I honestly don't want to think too much about it. What it could mean. My eyes briefly closes for what feels like only a minute before the dinging of my phone goes off, my eyes slowly opening as they flit across Kyle's reply.

_Broflovski: I know._

_Broflovski: Goodnight Stan._

5:42. I turn my TV off content enough to fall asleep without it. I lay my phone on top of my stomach re-reading his last words as I feel my eyes grow heavy.

_Me: Night. _


	22. Pretend

Pretend

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Looking up from my phone I see Wendy sitting across from me at my table in the library. She doesn't look angry or upset, but from the way she's staring at me I can tell she's about a few seconds off from snapping at me. She's eager for answers that much is true.

"Nothing. What do you want?" I ask as I place my phone on the dark stained oak table in front of me.

"Can't I just talk to you?" Wendy asks and I raise my eyebrows in skepticism at that statement, "We are friends, right?" I continue to stare at Wendy and she continues to look uncomfortable under my scrutiny.

"Fine," I'll play along, "What's on your mind?"

"Work. Food...Stan."

Speaking of food I sent one of the sophomore guys to get me something from the vending machines earlier and he still hasn't made it back. But I'll indulge Wendy nonetheless, "Why Stan? You guys are broken up," I take a sip of my red bull and Wendy looks so crestfallen at my mentioning of Stan. "So I've heard," I tack on as I sit my drink back down.

Wendy holds up a hand, "No, no I know everyone knows. It's fine." She pushes tangled strands of hair out of face with a huff before proceeding to glare at the table.

Damn, Stan must've really did a number on Wendy. I know I practically pushed Stan in that direction, but I didn't expect for him to go total nuclear. I assumed it'd be like one of their usual breakups which consisted of Stan being a sex deprived single man and Wendy being more bossy than usual. Which would ultimately lead to their gross and obnoxious reunion. It was like a never-ending cycle. And I honestly don't know what to say to Wendy because Stan is usually the one who is a trainwreck, but as Wendy continues to sniffle and stare gloomily at the table before us and I know I need to do something. I have to be, ugh, nice.

"Wendy do you wanna come with me to get something to eat?" Wendy looks up at me and nods.

"Yes, that's fine. I feel like I'm starving."

"Being sad or depressed can physically as well as mentally and emotionally drain you. That's why it's _best_ to always remember to eat something." I advise as we both collect our bags and stand up.

"What? How did y-you-" Wendy starts as we exit out of the near deserted library and out into the cold Fall air.

"Let's just say I've dealt with heartbreak. Not personally, but I've taken care of someone who has." I reply as we round the corner to the student parking lot. We both look around at the couple cars still present and I don't spot Wendy's silver volkswagen.

"I rode with Bebe to school today," Is all she says and I nod before motioning for her to get inside of my hummer. Not wasting anymore time I hurriedly pull out the student parking lot and don't bother actually slowing down for the yellow light that greets us upon exit.

"Why did you pick this?" Wendy asks suddenly.

"Pick what?" I ask as I turn into an adjacent left lane before stopping at a red light.

"This car, this color?"

"I like the fact that hummers are huge although nowadays they are more overlooked than not. Plus I've always wanted one and I like the color yellow, it's _kewl._"

"Coew," Wendy repeats and I grin at the way she pronounces it.

"No it's like you're saying the first two syllables of the word cute, the word ew, but adding and 'l' on the end. Kewl."

"Cu-ew-l. Kewl."

"Yeah, like that."

"Who even came up with that?" Wendy laughs, "I like it...Have you ever been in love Eric?"

"What?" I snort, but not commenting on the abrupt subject change, "No. Love is for losers and people who like sad songs and lifetime movies."

"Seriously, you've never felt strongly about someone? Someone you could imagine spending the _rest_ of your life with, growing old together?" Wendy asks and why does she have to be so damn dramatic.

"Nope."

"So you're just a plain non-believer."

"No, I just do not believe in the love you believe in. Yes, I get it girls like you want to have a dramatic, never-ending love that you can brag about to all your friends. And I get that you want someone to love you when you're toothless and wrinkled, but I just think all of that is bullshit."

"What?" Wendy asks, scandalised.

"It's wishful thinking to believe that things will always turn out perfect." Wendy makes a noise of disbelief at my comments as she continues to stare outside of the passenger side window. "Let's take you and Stan for example, you thought you would marry the guy, but look what happened. Love isn't always happy and sunshine with rainbows. It can fucking suck and tear you apart."

There's a long moment of silence until Wendy's voice breaks it, "That was very...intense coming from a guy who's never been in love before."

"Just because I have never experienced it doesn't mean I don't know what it is capable of."

"But you haven't gone through the motions...I get that Stan I are finally done and that he doesn't want to be with me, _and_ that there are probably better people out there for the both of us, but-but I just don't _care_!"

I briefly glance over at Wendy and I notice the tears that are running down her face and onto her collarbone. "It hurts! It hurts to know that the last time I kissed his lips would _actually_ be the last and that he would never look at me the way he used to! I just," Wendy takes a shuddery breath, "I just feel like I wasted so much time trying to make a future for myself, so we can be comfortable, so I won't wake up twenty or thirty years from now and hate myself for not doing anything. For not having a working hard to have a career and doing the things that I want."

She throws her hands up helplessly, "I wanted us to work. Despite all of our breakups and all of the tears we cried that's all I wanted. And now all I can think about is what if? What if I didn't take this internship, what if I called him back the times I swore I would, but never really did, what if I reminded him that I loved him! What if, right?" Wendy wipes her red eyes, but it doesn't stop the tears that continue to fall from her light brown eyes. I stop the car as Wendy continues to cry and although it's heart-wrenching (even for me) to hear I let her. I have the inkling feeling that she's been bottling this all inside...and the dam has finally broken. "I wish he would've told me that things weren't good anymore, that he just didn't love _us_ anymore."

"Wendy," I say and she turns her brown doe eyes onto me as they continue to leak more tears, "It wasn't your fault." Wendy breaks down at my words and I ignore the fact that she unceremoniously unbuckles her seat belt to pull me into her clutch. And I ignore the increasingly growing wet patch on my shoulder as she cries. I feel bad for her, I totally do.

This situation is completely fucked up, but it reassures me that I did the right thing. That there's gotta be something _good_ in store considering that Wendy, who is constantly striving for complete perfection is weeping on my shoulder. There has to be something better for all of us. Because if not...if all of this shit I've done thus far was for nothing then I don't even...no. I don't want to even think about that, it just has to all pull through. One way or another.

* * *

"What are you going to do for your birthday?" Craig asks me as we sit on his back patio. I close my eyes and lean against one of the lounge chairs completely exhausted from practice today. Craig taps my thigh and I look beside me and his light blue-grey are slightly worried. I give him a small smile to let him know I'm fine, but even as he lets the cloud of cigarette smoke flit from his mouth he doesn't look convinced.

"I don't know, I think I just wanna do something with the guys. Nothing big."

"Really? No, dude you have to do something big. You're turning eighteen and I refuse to let you sit at home and host another movie night." I nod at Craig's words, but I'm just not feeling the importance of it.

"I'm just not feeling it. It's like I know I'm gonna be eighteen, and that's supposed to be some type of milestone, but…"

"It just feel so dull in comparison to everything else."

"Yeah. I don't have it in me to plan a party."

"You know what? Because I love you I'll plan your party," I chuckle at Craig's proclamation and stare at him in surprise as he continues, "all you have to do is show up and have a good time."

"T-that would be so awesome, but are you sure you wanna do everything?"

"Yeah, why not? My parents are going out of town next weekend for 'bonding time' and Ruby will be at Karen's. Thank christ," Abruptly Craig's phone chimes startling both of us. Craig reaches inside of his black pullover hoodie and pulls out his phone.

He stares at the screen for a moment and quickly taps his fingers across the screen before stuffing it back inside of his pocket. "Fucking Tweek," He comments after a moment before continuing to smoke his cigarette.

"What happened now?" I ask a grin pulling at the corners of my lips.

"He's been acting weird since Kyle's party."

"Weird like how?"

"He's constantly bailing on me or making up excuses on why we can't hangout. It sucks."

"Have you tried asking him why?" I ask picking up the large bag of mini chocolates beside me and eating a couple.

"Yes, multiple times, but he swears that it's nothing. And I know I can be a jerk sometimes, but Tweek?"

"What happened at Kyle's party? That's probably the answer."

"He came onto me."

"What?" I almost choke at Craig's words. I quickly swallow the melted chocolate before speaking,

"Really?"

He just nods and stubs out his cigarette on the dark wood patio floor and I am completely floored. I know that Tweek has feelings for Craig, but I never thought he'd have the guts to actually act upon it. "It didn't go that far before he conked out, but he was so fucking hot."

"Maybe he's embarrassed and thinks it's best to put space between you and him."

"You're right, he's probably confused because I sure am, but that doesn't mean I want him to avoid me."

"Why don't you talk to him. At the party next weekend, he's sure to come."

"Then it's a plan. It's not like he can avoid me in my own house."

"Right," I agree and make a small noise of protest as Craig grabs a handful of my chocolates.

"Fine," Craig says as he eats a couple before standing.

"Where're you going?"

"Inside to get a orange or somethin'."

"Can you bring me one of those smoothies your mom buys?"

"No," He replies stubbornly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'll split the bag with you," I compromise shaking the bag of chocolates.

"Okay," Craig quickly agrees and I roll my eyes.

"Did you seriously just trick me into giving you more of my chocolate?"

"I genuinely didn't think you'd be that gullible Stan," Craig laughs and I flip him off in return.

"Hate you, you fucker," I mumble, but he hears it anyway from the sound of laughter that follows.

"Love you," Is all he says before going through the large glass sliding door that leads back inside of his house.

Waiting for Craig's long 'awaited' return I close my eyes enjoying the silence around me right now. This week hasn't been easy at all. My mom is becoming more annoyed at my dad's missing presence which eventually led to a screaming match on the phone last night. I can't say that I blame her because it's secretly bothering me too. I'm trying to make it seem and _look _like it doesn't bother me much, but my mind is swarming with unanswered questions.

I finally talked to my dad two weeks ago and all he could do was reassure me that he would be home soon, but why did he even leave in the first place? I faintly hear a familiar ringing and when I'm finally able to step outside of my head for a moment I move to remove my phone from my pocket and answer it.

"_Question, would you ever consider getting a chimpanzee_?" Kyle's deep and raspy voice fills my ears upon answering and only after it stops do I realize that he asked me something.

"No, why?"

"_Because they are considered to be one of the smartest animals on this planet that's why. You could, like, teach it how to talk and stuff_."

"Like planet of the apes?"

"_Yeah, it'd be really cool_."

I laugh, "Nah, I don't think so. It'll probably lock me out of the house or somethin" I reply and there's a pause before Kyle's laughing as well.

"_True. But anyway what are you up to_?"

"Nothing just hanging with Craig, you?"

"_I'm at Clyde's with Token. We're playing his old nintendo_."

"That's cool, sounds way better than freezing my balls off outside. But Craig and I were talking and he surprisingly wants to plan my birthday bash."

"_Craig? Seriously,_" Kyle says in what I guess is in awe that Craig would agree to this.

"I know, it's gonna be sick," I agree.

"_So where is Craig_?"

"Inside grabbing some stuff."

"_So you're alone_?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"_Just checking is all_." I roll my eyes at that, but I can't really blame him for being cautious. If people knew we were talking and occasionally hanging out...I don't know what would happen, but I'm not sure if I want to find out.

"I'm not a total dwit."

"_You're right. You're not a _total _dwit_."

"Fuck off." I say a smirk curving my lips.

"_Ooh touchy. Don't be offended_," Kyle teases.

"I'm not."

"_You are, you sound like I just pissed in your frosted flakes_."

"Am not."

"_Are to_."

We both laugh and it's so incredibly silly. What are we, five? I feel like a kid sometimes when I talk to him. And I'm not really sure if that's a bad thing. It's been a week since our late night (or rather early morning) conversation and ever since then it seems as if a barrier has been removed. When he called me the day after and just started talking I was shocked to say the least.

Although, even I can admit conversation flows so easily between us and it almost feels like...we never stopped being friends at all. I can pretend that there isn't any hostility or tension, but whenever I see him at school or at the gas station I'm reminded of who we are. Who we're supposed to be.

"Hey, Stan I got you the strawberry kind because I know that you like that one." I freeze as Craig walks outside, sliding the door closed behind him.

"I uh gotta go," I mumble into the phone and don't wait for a reply before quickly ending the call and stuffing my phone in my pocket.

"Thanks man," I say as Craig sits in his previous spot next to me. We both crack the top on our individual smoothies and take a few delicious sips before Craig speaks.

"Who was that?"

"Who was what?" I ask feigning cluelessness.

"Who you were on the phone with. Must've been really interesting considering the grin on your face." Grinning? Me? _Whaaat_?

"I wasn't grinning," I reply as nonchalantly as I can.

Craig licks his upper lip of traces of his chocolate smoothie, "Yeah, you totally were. So who was it? Who's the lucky person?"

Seeing as Craig doesn't look like he's going to give this up I say the first person that comes to mind, "Kenny. He was just telling me how his boss almost fired Lance again."

"Did he almost set the microwave on fire while making popcorn, again?" We both laugh at that. Lance is Kenny's co-worker and can be such a twit and everyone in town knows it. Last year he almost burned down the auto shop Kenny works at trying to make popcorn, and the year before that he put oil on some poor lady's gas pedal.

"No, he 'accidentally' smashed the new back window they were supposed to install in someone's car." This isn't even a lie, Kenny told me earlier this week that this actually happened. I wipe small tears from the corner of my eyes. Damn, you can't make this shit up.

"Such an idiot I swear, oh my god." Craig comments while shaking his head.

We both continue to talk about other pointless and weird things, and I try to hide my small smiles at the occasional random texts Kyle sends me. And if Craig gives me a suspicious stare everytime I check my phone I pretend I don't notice.

* * *

"Hi, Mr. Garrison, I'm sorry to call you, knowing that you just left, but I need you to bring in the papers from our last PTA meeting."

I sigh as I listen to Principal Victoria's words and to say I'm annoyed would be a huge understatement, "Why didn't anyone think to tell me that before I left?"

There's a pause as I hear Victoria talking to someone in the background, "No one wanted to bother you. You appeared to have been in a rush." Yeah, a rush to get out that shit hole. "Once again I apologize and I hope that it wouldn't be too much of a burden," I roll my eyes as she continues, grabbing my coat in the process before leaving out of my warm house and out into the bone chilling outside breeze. "Although, I suppose you could bring in the files tomorrow before the faculty and staff meeting and-"

"Hey, Garrison!" I stop beside my car and pause for five seconds trying to calm my blood pressure down before turning around. I'm met with the sight of Blake Warrick standing ten meters away from my driveway. He walks closer and I try not to admire how gorgeous he is. This proves to be quite a feat. "Hey, I didn't know you lived here?"

My mind is slightly fogged, but I'm finally able to fumble out an "Okay," to Victoria before hanging up on her mid sentence and smiling at Blake. "Yes, so what are you doing here?"

He smiles back, blue eyes seemingly lighting up, "I was in the neighborhood," I'm not convinced, but Blake continues, "I was visiting a friend on her day off." Well that was just a huge let down. I try not to let it get to me too much as Blake continues to look at me with stunning blue eyes. Forty years old my ass.

"You know, you really don't need an excuse to stalk me." I chuckle at his surprise to my words.

"Really? I was convinced you'd never want to talk to me outside of office hours that is."

"No, you are a really interesting person Blake," I say not feeling up to entertaining formalities. If anything Blake's smile widens at that, "It's good to see you out of the professional setting."

"I agree," I shift the keys in my hand and Blake's eyes trail to the source of the sound, "Were you about to go somewhere?"

"Oh, no, my boss just wanted me to drop off some files, but I can do it tomorrow."

"Well great," I raise my eyebrows teasingly and Blake continues a bit flustered, "I didn't mean that it was good that you have to drop off files, I meant good as in I can ask you to lunch or…" I don't say anything, but my gentle smile doesn't drop and Blake notices, "Dinner. If you want that is?" Why is he so nervous?

It's intriguing because during office hours and class he appears to be so confident. Its way past the time for lunch, but dinner does sound fine. As I think this over I realize I haven't said anything for at least a minute and he opens his mouth to doubtlessly say something in fear that I'd decline, "Dinner would be good.

"We can go now if you want. If you have nothing else planned."

"No, my schedule is completely free this evening," When isn't it. Blake shows his approval and motions me over towards his car that's parked across the street.

**(*)**

Inside the car I expressed that I don't really have a preference because anything is fine. But to say I'm impressed with Blake's choice of dining would be an understatement. This is has to be the cutest restaurant I've ever seen located in the heart of downtown South Park. We exit Blake's black BMW and walk through a makeshift garden and a short cobblestone pathway leading to wrought iron double front doors, but similar doors are placed on the sides of the restaurant. There is a woman that greets us as we walk in and addresses Blake by name before leading us to our seats. The fairly young woman leads us to an outside dining area that is littered with french wrought iron seats and matching glass tables. We are seated and immediately given menus and once I've decided on what I wanted do I address his restaurant choice.

"Where did you find this little gem of a place?" I finally ask, "I've lived here for years and have never heard of this place."

"A friend of mine showed it to me."

"Is it the same friend of yours you spoke of earlier?"

"Yeah, it is actually." I vaguely want to know more about this 'friend' that Blake spoke about, but I think I'm more interested in who Blake is.

"So, why did you move to South Park?"

"Well, after my divorce was finalized with my ex-wife I landed the opportunity to work in Denver, but because city life has never really been my taste I much prefer to live in a small town. Who knows, maybe it's just the small town kid in me."

"South Park isn't as small as it used to be, but I guess it still is pretty small compared to Denver."

"Why did you choose to go back to school? You seem to live a very content life," Blake asks, effectively changing the subject.

"Well, it started as just something to do, to pass the time, but after my first few classes I became more engaged in the college class atmosphere and discussion. It's a good change up from the inane high school politics." I roll my eyes and Blake gives out a deep humorous laugh.

"Ah, how I do miss my high school days. When all I cared about was if the cute girl next door thought I was hot."

"I'm sure you were up to par."

"Are you kindin' me I was like a total nerd back then, but it couldn't stop a boy from dreaming."

"Textbook?" I ask mock appalled. I can't imagine Blake dressed in suspenders and wide framed glasses. Well, I can but that's a totally different discussion.

"Well, I was football captain, but mom was really strict about having good grades, she didn't want me to turn into a dumb meathead."

"So you were a smart meathead instead."

"Exactly," We both erupt into more light hearted laughter and soon a waiter walks up to our table to take our order. As he stops at our table I notice him as one of my students.

"Hi Mr. Garrison," Sandy greets me and he's nervous. As right as he should, that paper he turned in last week was awful. Well it wasn't really that awful compared to the other papers I've graded, but it wasn't the best he could do. "Yeah…" Sandy trails off before quickly glancing at Blake, but it doesn't do anything to lessen the tension in his shoulders. If anything he seems more nervous, "have you both decided on what you would like to order?"

"Yes, I would like the cajun seafood pasta with a blueberry iced tea." Blake orders a shrimp stir-fry with a lemonade spritzer and Sandy quickly writes it down on his small notepad after asking if we would like any appetizers and after we both decline he gives a small, but awkward glance at us both before leaving.

"Well, that was _slightly_ awkward," I mumble and Blake laughs at that and it's as carefree as before.

And the rest of dinner seems to go just as that, lively and enjoyable. I honestly have had more fun with Blake in one night than I've had in awhile. Or since I first dated Mr. Slave and I've admittedly met many people after that dramatic relationship, but those are inadequate comparisons. Blake is one person I can admit has piqued my interest in a long time and it would be a real shame if I didn't take advantage of it. As we're walking to the car I'm obviously entranced by his radiating cobalt eyes, but he doesn't seem none the wiser. During the car ride I listen and engage in useless banter with Blake feeling more carefree than I have in _ages_.

When the car finally stops in front of my house I exit the car and I don't let my surprise show on my face as Blake silently exits as well, deciding to walk me to my door.

"I had a really good time with you tonight Garrison," Blake chuckles lightly and I lightly nudge him. "I still can't believe you don't want me to call you by your first name."

"I'm not really too fond of it, plus everyone calls me Garrison anyhow."

"But I like it, Herbert."

"Maybe...I can make an exception. Just for you though, so don't run down to the bars and tell anyone."

"Never," Blake says his voice as husky as ever. He's a bit hesitant and it's cute, but as he leans closer it becomes more endearing. I chuckle against his lips before Blake makes the connection between both of our mouths. It's a chaste kiss and as we break apart I feel the need to invite him in for something less innocent, but alas I have to be at work early tomorrow and I'm pretty sure that old hag that lives across the street from me is watching through her blinds.

Although, the heady stare he continues to give me leaves me to place a similar, but quicker kiss upon his lips before opening my door and practically pushing myself inside to decrease my need to completely ravage him on my doorstep. I sigh and briefly collect bearings before peaking out of the peephole at a shocked Blake. He stares at my door for a moment, a smile adorning his features as he shakes his head before retreating to his car and pulling off.


	23. Do I Wanna Know?

Do I Wanna Know?

* * *

"Well, this is it." I look around the huge foyer in slight fascination at the statues that are placed in various places around the room before following Red into another nearby room. Her house resembles mine in taste, but other than its slightly smaller in size the colors within each room she shows me is either a light blue or grey. Only when Red pushes open another white door that I am overwhelmed with crimson red and black. Her room is oddly more spacious than any of the guest rooms she's showed me.

She closes the door behind us and unceremoniously dumps her book bag on her floor next to her canopy bed before heaving a heavy sigh and falling face first onto it. I laugh at her weird antics that I've grown accustomed to by now.

"Where is everyone?" I ask as I sit in the red sofa facing her bed. She doesn't answer, but instead flips over and spread her fingers out as if she was trying to reach her abandoned book bag that sits less than two meters away. She continues and with a mock sigh of my own I pick it up before chucking the heavy bag at her.

"Hey!" She whines before quickly opening it and removing her science book. "I have books in here!"

"I know."

"Why you so mean to me Toke?" I don't even bother berating her for her laziness as she continues to pull out books from her bag while lying down. "Entertain me, how was your day today?"

"Normal, nothing special happened," Red gives me a look as I lean back against the fairly comfy sofa.

"Fine," I say hoping her glare would let up, "Nicole wanted me to make a final decision on what college I'm going to attend."

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

"The problem is that I don't know where I wanna go."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Have you?" Red just stares at me before sitting up and crossing her legs. "Token, no, I haven't, but that's because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get accepted to any of the good schools. But you have a chance to go anywhere, with your stellar grades and all."

"You're grades are steadily improving," I comment, not liking her train of thought.

"But what about the fact that I've practically been a 'C' student all my life. What college would want to take a girl whose extracurricular activities include fucking in the janitor's closet and gym bathrooms?

"There's plenty of clubs you can still join."

Red shakes her head and flips through the notebook on her lap, "You don't get it."

"I do-"

"You don't. Why are you so worried about me going to college anyway? Maybe I don't want to."

"You should."

"Thank you for the words of wisdom Toke, but we're not talking about me."

"No, I haven't thought about," I answer Red's previous question.

"What are you unsure about?"

I think about it. Really think about it. I mean it's been the part of the plan from the start...just not my plan. My parents want me to attend their alumni college and occasionally offer to order the school's attire and knick knacks and what not, but I always decline easily writing it off as not wanting to make space in my closet to do so and waiting for Nicole to decide. But of course Nicole wants to go to school somewhere in New York or San Francisco, I'm not really sure and can't be bothered to ask although I've agreed to it, stating that it's 'perfect' when asked.

Sometimes I contemplate how long it'll be before the lies run out and they finally force me to choose. I honestly would be fine attending a community college somewhere, but when I expressed the idea to my parents they merely laughed in my face before stating that it would purely be a waste of time. That was sophomore year and I'm nowhere closer in my decision than I was then.

Looking at the red Mickey Mouse clock on Red's wall I notice that almost ten minutes have passed and during the entire duration I've been completely zoned out. Looking over at Red she doesn't look perturbed in the least, most likely used to my spacing out as she continues to scribble in her notebook, science book opened on the assigned chapters from her class.

I smile at the look of concentration on her face. It's weird to think that I could help her, that I have and that she's actually making better grades. Earlier this week she showed me her math test score with a triumphant smile and I don't think I've ever been so proud. And as I watch her now, not having to worry about whether or not she's _actually_ going to do her homework and study I feel accomplished at my job as her tutor.

"Can I help you with something?" Red asks, a smile curving the corners of her lips up.

"No, do you need any help?"

"No, I got it. Don't you have any homework you need to do, Mr. Workaholic?"

"I've done it already. I should be good up until the first week of December."

"You do realize that it's still October, right?"

"Yes, Rebecca I do." She finish writing something before flinging her pencil at my head, but I easily dodge it.

"You're lucky I finished some of my homework in the library while waiting for you. What do you guys even talk about in the debate club anyway?" Red asks as she closes her book and stuffs it back into her book bag along with her notebook.

"We debate about things such as global issues, current events and anything that may be considered controversial. Each team must form an argument based off of whatever subject is chosen and present it to everyone."

"That just sounds more like a public speaking class. Why be in a club that forces you to do more work and research when we all have enough school work as it is?"

"It's fun," Red rolls her eyes at me before standing off of her bed and going over to a black desk that is cluttered with various lotion bottles, bracelets, empty packs of candy, and even a brownie box to retrieve her red laptop. She sits next to me and pulls up a video of a man who gets stuck in a crib with a baby. It's hilarious, and awfully random, but what isn't when it comes to Red. Even coming to her house was random. We usually hang out at my house, but when she insisted we go to her's I can admit I was curious.

**(*)**

We continue to watch random videos on her tumblr page and she reblogs a couple things before an alarm goes off. She searches her side blue jean pockets to silence the insistent ringing, but comes up empty handed before rolling her eyes and reaching into her back pocket and finally silences her phone. She hands me the computer, but I close it not really interested in it as she stands and begin digging into her closet for something.

"What's wrong?" I finally ask as Red throws out a pair of black bulky work shoes. I stand and neatly straighten them up as she throws a black hat at me. I catch it and straighten it out from its crushed state, but I'm distracted by Red's words to see the logo printed on the front..

"I gotta go," Is all Red says as she sits on her bed and pull on the black shoes and politely takes the hat from me and slides it on her red head before slipping her ponytail out the back.

"Wait, where are you even going?"

Red finally takes a breather before staring at me, "To work," At her words I finally zone into the yellow logo printed on her hat. Harbucks.

"You have a job?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah, I have to," She averts her eyes before continuing, "I have to," She finally settles on before opening her bedroom door and hurrying down the stairs and I follow her not satisfied with that explanation.

"Okay, but why?"

"I just do," She weaves through many rooms, grabbing a sparkly grey scarf and wrapping it around her neck a few times before letting the ends hang down on top her black zip-up jacket before finally going to the foyer. She clutches her car keys in hand and gets as far as opening the door before I close it abruptly.

With a sigh she turns around to face me, "I have to go."

"I get that, but you can't just-"

"I can't just what? I have a job Token. And I have to work to keep that job because I need money for things."

I try not to let Red's abrupt mood change affect me nor the brief, but blunt way in which she now speaks. She tries to open the door again, but I shut it again, "Rebecca."

"What?!"

"Where are your parents?" I ask and hoping her predicament leaves her no choice, but to answer. Red stares at me hard for a while before her shoulders visibly sags as all of the tension within her slowly evaporates.

"Gone."

"Gone where? To work?"

"No, I mean gone. Never coming back. Gone." I'm silent at this. Completely taken aback at the prospect that Red's parents aren't around.

I steady my voice before asking, "Do you know where?"

"I can't," She responds shortly.

"Where are they?" I'm trying not to let my frustration at the situation out on Red, but it's becoming harder the more I think about it.

"They're staying with my grandparents in Michigan."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I just woke up one morning and there was a note on the kitchen table," I can't find the words to say anything to that as Red continues, "They left me three envelopes stuffed to the brim with money, they said to use it in case of emergencies."

"So, you don't have any contact or support from them?" I can barely register the words flowing from my mouth at this point.

"They sometimes send me money, but I just stuff them in envelopes. They take care of the house. B-but."

"But what?"

"I take care of everything else," Red answers after a moment.

"Red…"

She finally looks away for a moment before looking back at me, tears steadily dripping from her eyes before smiling at me sadly, "At least I don't have to worry about freezing to death or living without lights. I don't think..I know I wouldn't be able to." Red continues to try to smile, but fails as more tears pour from her red eyes, "I didn't want you to know." I shake my head before pulling her into a tight hug as she continues to break down in my arms. I can't even begin to fathom the idea of being abandoned by your own parents. Who just leaves their own child to fend for themselves?! Fuck the money.

"Y-you can't live like this," I state finally and Red pulls away from my hold to look at me.

"No," She shakes her head. "No, this is my house."

"But you have to," It's becoming harder and harder to stay steady about this, "This is not right. You shouldn't have to live like this. Alone."

"It's fine," Red takes a shaky breath, "I-I'm okay. Seriously." I still stare at Red unrelenting. She grabs my shoulders and pulls us closer, her forehead against mine, "Listen, I'm okay. I swear. I've made it this far, right?" She gives a determined smile, but her eyes aren't into it.

"It's not funny."

"You're right it's not," She sniffles loudly before shrugging almost hopelessly, "But I have to laugh because if I don't I'd cry. ...Think about it, we're both basically latchkey kids the only difference is that you're parents actually come home," She laughs and I can't bring myself to as I take her wet cheeks in my palms, lifting her face to look at me again.

"It's funny how we're even friends."

"Maybe that's why," I hear myself say. I continue as I wipe the lone tear that drops from her eye onto the edge of her right cheek, "We can relate to each other."

"It's funny, right?" She smiles, once again coaxing me to make light of this. I can't, but I find myself slightly nodding anyway.

"Yes."

"Okay," I let go of her and she moves back as she wipes the remnants of tears from her eyes. "I have to go now." She braces the door knob again and takes a deep breath before leaving. And as the heavy wooden door shuts behind her there is nothing, but a deafening silence and I can't help, but think that this is what she has to look forward to every night she comes home. Silence.

I leave moments later when standing in a cold and empty house becomes too much and as I'm starting up my car I try to place myself in Red shoes...but I can't. She was right, I don't get it. And I doubt that I really understand anything at all.

* * *

You know, if this wasn't so awkward I would laugh. But I do so anyway because I'm not the central focus of Kenny's intense glare. As I stand behind Kenny who is perched on the edge of his seat on his side of the sectional sofa I feel only slightly bad for the two individuals facing us.

"Is this really necessary?" Karen asks in exasperation.

"Yeah, I'm not a criminal or anythin-" Filmore starts.

"I'll be the judge of that," Kenny interrupts and I smack him on the shoulder.

"Why'd you say that?" I ask him.

Kenny shrugs before responding, "It just sounded good, I guess." Turning back around to face the two annoyed teens he clears his throat before speaking, "I just want you to know that whatever you do don't hurt her. Okay? This will be the only warning you're going to get. I don't plan to know too much about your relationship because I'm not in it nor do I want to be with two little snot noses, but if I see or hear that you've done something out of line I won't hesitate to beat you within every inch of your life, counting the days you spent inside of your mama's womb, got that?"

"I think he got it," Karen says disgruntled, but I can tell from the slight quirking of her lips that she's not that upset about Kenny threatening her boyfriend and ruining her movie night.

"Yeah, I-I get you. I mean I understand," Filmore agrees and it's a real shame how his voice shakes at that, but knowing Kenny he won't hound the boy any further. Just as long as he heed and beware of Kenny words because the guy can literally snatch you while you sleep. And people still question why Cartman ended up bruised and battered in a warehouse on the outskirts of town during sophomore year. It's best not to mess with someone as stealthy and supple as Kenny

"Well," Kenny brightens, "As long as you know where I stand then," Kenny stands and pats Filmore on the back before moving towards the front door with me in tow.

Once we're outside Kenny locks the door behind him and we walk the short pathway to the driveway before entering his Mustang.

"Well, that was super pleasant," I can't help but comment as Kenny backs out of his driveway and heads in the direction of Craig's house.

Kenny snorts, "Hardly. Are you sure you're cool with coming to this party with me?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Kenny gives me a brief look. "A party is a party so why not?"

"Uh huh, maybe you should tell me something else, but _really _sell it to me this time Kyle."

"Fine, if you really want to know...he invited me."

"What? You're joking right?"

"No."

"Then...but why?"

"I don't know."

"Outside of tutoring I didn't know you guys were talking-"

"We're not," I'm quickly to correct, "He just told me I could because all of our friends are."

"So it was that simple," Kenny asks skeptically and I nod.

"Yeah dude."

"Cool," Kenny says and like that it's over with and I'm grateful for the loss of tension. Suddenly, Kenny's phone rings and he picks it up with one hand from the space between us and answers it.

"Hello," Kenny greets whoever is on the other side.

"_Where _are_ you fuckers_?!" Craig's voice shouts through the phone's speaker. I glance at the time on Kenny's dashboard and it's a couple minutes after nine.

"The party didn't officially start until nine, so what's the big deal?" Kenny asks as he speedily maneuvers through cars and turns a couple corners leading to Craig's house.

"_The problem is you're not here and I refuse to hear Stan bitch and moan about you not showing up to wish him a goddamn happy birthday_."

"Relax," Is all Kenny replies with as we arrive at Craig's house and he parks behind Butters' white volkswagen gti. We exit and spot Craig on the porch, phone still glued to his ear until he see's us make our way up his driveway.

"You could've told me you were around the corner," He says and I know he's annoyed. Although, Craig's been on edge all week about this party. I'm just happy to not have been one of the underclassmen who agreed to help with this party. Nevertheless it's great how determined he is to make this day perfect for Stan.

"No worries," Kenny says wrapping Craig into a hug, "Right?"

"Whatever," Craig mutters as Kenny begins rocking them both from side to side. He rolls his eyes before focusing them on me, "Hey Kyle, what are you doing here?"

"Stan invited him," Kenny answers and I elbow him, none too gently.

Craig's eyes widen at that and it would look comical considering Kenny's still wrapped onto him, but I really don't want to talk about this. Thankfully Craig see's this and doesn't question me further. "Well, I'm glad you came dude."

"Hey, Craig?" Some guy calls from inside as Kenny finally detaches himself from Craig.

"Yeah?"

"You might want to come inside the kitchen. A couple of the guys broke about three bottles of Jagermeister."

"Fuck, goddamnit," Craig curses before walking back inside and with a shrug Kenny and I finally walk into the party.

As we enter there are cheers and shouts that greet us in acknowledgement and surprisingly the party seems to be in full effect right now which is rare. Its rare that I even showed up on time to a party, I'm usually an hour late at the most, because that's usually when everyone's had their fill of drinks and tend to be more relaxed. But I stand corrected as I watch two completely obliterated girls fall all over each before making out against the banister. A few guys watch and most people roll their eyes at the display.

Kenny and I continue to move through the crowd before entering the kitchen and noticing two guys wiping up what I assume is spilt liquor and more cheering. As we grow closer to the group we see that its Stan slamming down shots of what looks like Jameson whisky.

"Fourteen!" The group shouts and I settle in next to Clyde.

"What is he doing?" I ask as Stan downs another shot, the glass slamming down on the large wooden table loudly.

Clyde doesn't even give me a once over before excitedly replying with, "He's gonna take eighteen shots. One for each year!"

"Come on Stan, you got it. Just two more!" Someone in the fairly large circle shouts. I watch as Stan continues to knock down shots and I'm impressed. When Stan is close to the end of the shots that are lined up on the table, he makes a face before slamming down the last two shots in rapid succession.

"Eighteen!" Everyone screams and weirdly enough I find myself screaming amongst everyone as well. All the guys slap Stan on the back with cheers of happy birthday before the crowd begins to dwindle down.

"Happy Birthday!" Kenny says as he wraps his arm around Stan's neck from behind. Stan turns around with a bright smile at that, his face flushed from all the alcohol.

"Thanks Ken," His eyes glaze over me, "Glad you could make it. You both I mean."

"Of course dude, why would I miss my best bud's eighteenth birthday?"

"This is going to be awesome," Stan comments again, his smile never faltering as his gaze stays locked with mine before being pulled away by Kenny somewhere outside of the kitchen.

**(*)**

After about three drinks I'm finally feeling the buzz I've been craving for a while and as I down another cup of Jose Cuervo I come to the startling realization that I'm actually enjoying myself. Right now I'm hanging with Token and Clyde and we embarrassingly enough dance to the music blasting from the house speakers, but no one really cares because by this point I think most people already have a buzz or are just flat out drunk. Annoyingly enough my eyes continue to wonder to Stan throughout the night and each time his blue eyes always meets mine. Fuck. I need a refill.

I break away from the group and wander back into the kitchen to make another drink. I open a new bottle of tequila and pour it in my cup before sharing it with a few girls next to me. I flirt with them until I have to refill my cup again and instead of returning to the heated living room I exit out of Craig's back door and onto the large deck. There are a few individuals milling about out here, but they honestly look too drunk to do anything other than slump over in the wooden adirondack lounge chairs and matching trestle table. The gust of cool air is amazing on my body, not having noticed how hot I was until now. I close my eyes as I try to savor the taste of tequila in my mouth as I swallow another mouthful.

The sound of a shout catches my attention enough for me to round the corner of Craig's backyard to the side of his house. The shouting wasn't too loud to call attention to everyone, but the voice is what brought my attention. I stand meters away, but I doubt it would really matter seeing as how Tweek and Craig seem to be an heated discussion. I can't see Tweek's face and I bite my lip hoping Craig doesn't look up and see me staring from behind the side of his house.

"What do you want from me!"

"I want to know why you're being like this?! Is that so hard to answer!"

"Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing! So stop being such a jerk to me!"

"Oh, so now I'm being a jerk? I've been practically _begging_ you to tell me what's wrong. It seems like since that damn party all you want to do is push me away. Hell, since this summer all we've done is argue more and more."

"Its because you keep assuming that something is wrong when it's not. So stop. It."

Craig looks at Tweek albeit hopelessly, "You said I didn't know everything."

"What?"

"At the party...you said there are a lot of things I don't know about you."

"And? I'm failing to see why you're saying this."

"What are you hiding?"

"You don't have to know everything about me. Everything you need to know you know."

"Why won't you just tell me? Do you not trust me?"

"For fuck's sake Craig!" Tweek throws his hands up, sounding a bit hysterical now. "Stop hounding me! I'm not your boyfriend... so stop treating me like this. Stop wanting me to spend every waking hour with you, stop...treating me the way you do." Craig just stares at Tweek, face hard, but his grey eyes show something on the lines of heartbreak and I decide to leave, not wanting to intrude anymore than I have.

As I make my way back inside I dump my empty cup in the trash before deciding to head down to the basement. Inside a few guys are playing pool, cards, and are watching TV. Cartman's sitting in Craig's dad leather lounge chair and I sit next to him on the matching sofa and watch TV for a moment.

"When did you get here?"

"A few hours ago. I said my congrats to the hippie before coming down here. What're _you_ doing here?"

Unlike Kenny and Craig I do not trust Cartman with this enough to answer because whether he likes to admit it or not he's too damn inquisitive for his own good sometimes. And the last thing I need is him trying to figure me out. Ignoring his question I continue to watch the screen in front of us, he doesn't say anything to that and I didn't expect him to.

Eventually I leave when Cartman's piercing glares become too much and I don't dare look back. Upstairs I can say I'm relieved to feel the overwhelming heat searing my skin again, but it doesn't last as I make my way upstairs and to Craig's bedroom. Its locked, but I reach on top of the door to retrieve the key and open it before sliding it back place on top of the door frame. I walk over a few of Craig's scattered clothes before planting myself on his comfy bed.

I stare at the blank ceiling for a moment wondering why I even showed up, but it doesn't last long when I hear Craig's bedroom door unlock. I stare at Stan as he enters the room and soundlessly closes and locks it behind him. What does he even think he's doing?

"What are you doing?" I ask and my voice sounds so quiet in this large dark room.

He surprisingly sits nexts to me on the bed as I eye him suspiciously, "I saw you come up here, so I figured you'd be in Craig's room. Looks like I was right."

"Why are you here? You have about a hundred people downstairs, there's an entire party for you happening."

"I know and that's awesome, but I...honestly," Stan pauses and sighs heavily. I sit up and try to make it look as natural as I can as I walk to one of the windows in the room and open it. Digging into my dark leather jacket's left pocket as I perch myself on the sill I remove my skull lighter and cigarette packet.

Sliding one out I rest it on the edge of my clasped lips as I light it, the flame warming my slightly cupped hands before I replace it back into my jacket. I inhale deeply before watching the smoke waft from my lips and out into the cold night. I'm still waiting. Waiting for Stan to say something.

"I wanted to talk."

"About what?" I ask, but as I continue to smoke Stan _continues_ to stare at his shoes nervously. Am I really that intimidating? Good, I _thrive_ off of it. Not.

"Us. I know that we've been getting along so well lately, and crazily enough you even came to my birthday party, but…"

"But what?"

"Look, I'm never gonna be _brave_ enough to do this again so I'll just ask, Why? Why do you hate me so much? Why did you forget about _us_?"

I feel like the only thing keeping me together right now is this burning stick between my fingers. How dare he ask me this and after...after all this time? Fuck, I should've seen this coming! I just didn't think he would have the guts to ever ask me. "Why now?"

"I-I don't know. I just know that I need to."

"Do you want the truth?"

It's silent for a moment before Stan replies with one word, "Yes."

With one last drag and release I stub my cigarette out before flinging it out of the window and slamming it shut, "You hurt me."

"H-how-" I glance at Stan briefly, my face showing him that I will not take to being interrupted again.

It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts again. Everytime I think I can do it, I'm stopped by the foreign overwhelming feeling in my chest that I can't find the means to identify.

Finally finding my footing (figuratively) I continue, "Maybe it was my fault, but I trusted you. I trusted you _way_ too much. I trusted that you would be honest with me and that you wouldn't lead me on. And even after my 'little' blow up that day in the cafeteria I still couldn't believe that you had lied to my face. I blamed Wendy for a while, but I eventually realized that it wasn't her fault. It was yours."

"What did I...do?"

"You really don't remember?" I shake my head, my fingers itching for another cigarette.

"Kye…"

"Don't. You don't get to fucking call me that anymore!"

"_Tell_ me," Stan pleads.

"You fucked her. You had sex with Wendy and you lead me on. You knew how I felt about you...you knew, but you did it anyway and you didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face. And when I confronted you about it you lied to me. Everyone knew, _but_ me," I can barely look at him without wanting to beat him into a pulp right now.

"No, Kyle, I didn't." Stan stands and I turn away from him as he walks towards me.

"Stop, _don't_ lie to me!" I practically scream as he comes closer to me.

"I didn't Kyle," He repeats. "God, I wouldn't do that to you!"

"You did."

"No, stop saying that!" I can do nothing, but stare motionlessly at Stan as his helpless cerulean eyes bore deep into mine. "I didn't fuck you over. I wouldn't do that to you, I care too much about you to do that."

"Then why? Why didn't you _call_ me back that night, I called you at least a hundred times," My eyes burn at the memory, but I refuse to cry in front of him. He will never see me like this. "Why didn't you call me the next day and the days after and why didn't you just _talk_ to me!" Stan stares at me and I roll my red eyes at how helpless he looks. Fuck! I said I wouldn't cry. I thought I was over this.

"I wanted to. But how could I, you were too far gone. You already had it made up in your mind that somehow I messed up, but what about you, I'm not the only one at fault here!"

"What?! What did I _ever_ do to you?"

"You scream to me how much I hurt you, and how much you cared about me, but you never really-"

I quickly stand from my position on the window, "I never really what, _loved_ you?" Stan continues to stare at me and I'm about three seconds away from punching him in his face. "Are you _serious_?! I literally almost came out to my parents for you! All I could think about was you, and how you felt and what you wanted. And you have the _audacity_ to say I never loved you, y-you-"

"You said it. You said you never loved me…"

"I never said that."

"You did and I could barely even look at you let alone speak to you. We were so wrong, I was still in a _relationship_ for chrissakes and you were fucking Bebe and I...I don't know what I was thinking. So I admit it, I backed out at the last minute, but I refused to let us go up in flames."

"We _did_ go up in flames."

"I never expected to lose you! I was trying to save our friendship."

"Whether you realized it or not Stan the moment we told each other how we felt there was no going back."

"Oh, fuck you Kyle."

"Fuck me? It's true. You wanted the truth, there it is." It's silent now, but the anger inside of me is still toppling over.

"What do you want Kyle? I'm sorry, okay," Stan finally says and he's no longer screaming at me though I wish he was. I really just wish he would leave me alone. "I'm _so_ fucking sorry for not wanting to risk my friendship with you. I'm _sorry_ that when I realized that this wouldn't work that I backed out. I'm sorry."

"Just go away," I say at last, completely done with this conversation.

"No," Stan replies stubbornly and I move closer to him. My stance would be intimidating to anyone else, but he looks unaffected as he glares at me.

"Go. Away," I repeat and we're somewhat chest to chest now, but he still shows no signs of backing down.

"No."

We continue to glare at each other and I hate it. I hate the way he makes me feel. He makes want to claw my skin off with his piercing stares that always seem to pick up on everything I'm trying to hide. I hate that he's the only one that can get to me like this. It's sickening that even after all this time I continue to let him get away with this crap, but it won't last. Not for long, that is. It can't. I try to convince myself of this as I stand my ground, needing him to back off. Christ, what did I ever see in those blue eyes anyway?

I find myself always looking in them for something... a reason for why I fell for them in the first place...the reason I even fell for _him_. My chest is beating loudly in my chest and my breathing is still somewhat labored, but I'm still searching. Searching once again for a reason as to why I feel this way. It just will not go away, it's like a leech, draining me of any rational thought or reasoning, but I continuously crave for it with a numbing desperation. Fuck it, I've had enough. I've had enough of this.

Wrapping my hand around the base of Stan's neck I smash our lips together in a hard and bruising kiss. After a few seconds his lips move, matching mine in desperation. He practically rips my bottom lip off before diving back in for more and causing our teeth to crash together. We pull away when the need for air becomes too desperate and stare at each other before I lick his upper lip teasingly.

He pecks me in rapid succession and I open my mouth, letting our tongues clash together in a tangle. We fight for dominance and I refuse to be beaten as he pulls on the sleeves of my jacket before deciding to slide the damn thing off of me. I crawl my hand that's wrapped around his neck slowly upwards to bury it in his hair before pulling hard, causing his head to jerk backwards roughly.

Even from upstairs with the door locked shut I can still hear the speakers blasting _Do I Wanna Know_ by the Arctic Monkeys and the bass seems to increase the more enraptured I become at the sight of Stan's red lips as we catch our breaths before ultimately reconnecting our mouths again, and I attack his with more ferocity than before. He bites hard on my lips and I'm pretty sure he's broken the vessel by now, but I refuse to detach. The burning I feel just seems to escalate further and further until suddenly Stan's hands that were once gripping my hips now pushes me away and detaches our mouths in the process.

I laugh, "That wasn't very nice."

"It wasn't supposed to be."

"Do you have any clue what you're doing?" I ask looking him up and down.

"You're the one who kissed me," He replies a small smirk curving his lips.

"You kissed me back," I lick over my bottom lip tasting the metallic flavor of blood. Damn.

"You wanted it."

"You wanted it more."

"Are you sure about that."

"Positive," I move in closer to Stan and he lets me as I kiss him from his earlobe down to his neck.

"So cocky," He comments.

"Shut up, you love it." I continue to trail kisses down the birthday boys neck. Wondering what else he'd let me do.

"You think you're so hot and I hate it because I know it too." I bite him hard, not enough to break skin, but the grip he has on my shirt tightens. "Fuck."

"Watch your fucking mouth," I accentuate each word with a kiss on the lips and Stan just growls before kissing me hard, our tongues once again rubbing sensually against each other. I feel like an absolute mad man...his kisses driving me insane.

"Do you wanna…?" I ask as we pull away again and Stan looks me in the eyes as if searching for some type of answer, but a loud ringing interrupts him as he opens his mouth to speak. Both of our eyes travel to the source of the ringing before Stan makes the conscious decision to answer it.

"Hello," Stan answers and his voice is hard along with something else that prominently stands out through his fitted jeans. "Fine," Is all Stan says after a moment has passed before stuffing his phone in his back pocket.

He looks up and our eyes meet as he comes closer, he bites his lip and I suddenly wish I was biting those red swollen lips of his, "I gotta go, everyone wants me to cut the cake." I don't even question the fact that Craig got an actual cake and that it wasn't ruined by some drunken shithead. I nod and Stan continues to worry his bottom lip as if he is debating whether to leave or not. In the end rational thought wins out and with one soft kiss against my lips he's pulling away and exiting Craig's bedroom.

I wait about five minutes before exiting myself and as I make my way downstairs past all the sweaty drunken bodies and to the front door I feel a tap on my shoulder. Looking to my left I spot Damien and Pip oddly standing there as if they just arrived and I wouldn't put it past them to always make some sort of grand entrance. Pip seems to have been the one to tap me as he fixes my shirt and gently pushes a loose curl back on top of my head before smiling brightly at me. Damien does the same, but of course his is far less innocent than what it seems.

"Leaving so soon Kyle?"

"Yeah I…" I trail off not really knowing how to complete my thought.

"Well don't let us stop you. Hope to be seeing you soon though," Damien continues not in the least bothered by my frazzled state.

"Me too," I reply trying to, but failing to ignore the knowing look he gives me before quickly stepping out of the foyer and into the outside air.

The look Damien gave me...he knows what happened. And somehow I just _know _that I'm fucked.


	24. Maybe

Maybe

* * *

"Hey, I'll see you guys later," I say to Christophe and Gregory as they both leave the already dwindling party. They both give me hugs before going to their black porsche panamera and taking off and as I wave and hug everyone else my eyes are still wondering every outside surface. When nothing catches my eye, specifically a head of bright red hair the smile I've had pasted on my face slowly dissipates. Craig's long turned the music off, but even before I cut the cakes almost everyone was too gone to even realize.

My smile returns as I remember practically being hauled off by Craig as I exited his bedroom and forced to close my eyes. I could feel hands all over my shoulders and even someone smacking my butt, before I was finally told I could open my eyes. Everyone surrounding me in a makeshift circle in the kitchen, the only light being the oversized candles that sat in both of my birthday cakes. One cake was a clear baking attempt that was completely covered in heavy amounts of light blue icing whereas the second looked more store bought considering the neat edges, careful designs and the words, 'Happy 18th Birthday' spelt in red icing, but both looked amazing nonetheless. And everyone was there...except for one person.

I can still feel the way his red lips moved against mine and it doesn't matter how many times I continue to bite my lips, it doesn't compare to the feeling of him biting them. I suspected he would bail considering that if anyone would've taken a good look at the both of us it would be obvious that something happened. Although, no one has seemed to noticed my swollen lips, slightly messy hair, and dazed eyes, and thank fuck for that.

"Stan?" I look beside me and notice that Bebe's standing right there.

"Hey," I say giving her a slightly unsure smile, not knowing where we stand after I broke up with her best friend.

"Don't look like that," She starts, "I honestly was pissed at you because of _how_ you broke up with Wendy, but really what's the use? I know that you probably didn't mean to hurt her and I know that she's just hurt despite her claiming to hate you." I try to not let my face show any surprise at that.

I know that Bebe is a good person and that she actually cares a lot, but I saw exactly how _pissed off_ she can get after her public breakup with Kyle. And I really don't want the first hand experience of that hostility. I just nod at her words as she continues to speak, "-But anyway, happy birthday Stan," She gives me a short hug before walking to her car.

"What was that about?" Kenny asks as he sidles next to me.

"Oh, she was just explaining how she's not pissed at me and Wendy breaking up. And...all is good pretty much."

Kenny laughs, "She's not gonna punch you in the face Stan."

"I know that now, but I still _know_ what's she's capable of."

"Yeah, and that was _one_ time and because Kyle royally fucked her over."

"What did he do anyway?"

"I don't know Bebe briefly said something about him cheating on her."

"Oh," Is all I say, no longer interested in this topic.

"Crazy right? I mean who wouldn't want to be with Bebe."

"I don't know? You? You haven't really claimed her as your girlfriend, but you guys still have sex."

"Not anymore we don't. And that is because I'm trying to figure myself out, I just found out that I'm attracted to guys, and I don't want to put her through that."

"That's really good of you Ken."

Kenny waves me off, "No, it's the right thing to do," he states.

"Anyway, were you able to find Kyle?" I ask, hoping my voice doesn't give way to how excited I am at the idea.

"No, I think he went home. Nevermind the fact that we rode over together."

"Well, Craig's house isn't too far from his own."

"Have you noticed that something is off?" Kenny asks suddenly.

"No, why?"

"Like with Craig," I silently release the breath I was holding, "Something is not right. He's been trying to mask it, but…"

"I guess, but he's inside putting things away." Kenny doesn't say anything to this and seems to be in a contemplative mood. I honestly hadn't felt that anything was really off, but knowing Kenny he probably has some _keen_ sense that can pick up on these type of things. "Do you wanna come to my place?" I find myself asking after a moment.

Kenny brightens, "Sure, we can go now. Did you drive here?"

"No, Token brought me here."

"Cool, well let's go princess," Kenny says with a smirk, and I grin in return before pushing his shoulder and following him to his car.

**(*) **

When we enter the front door of my house we're greeted by warmth and Sparky and Rover surrounding our legs. Kicking off my shoes I lean down to scratch behind their ears. Rover licks my palm and I stare at her fondly. I can't believe its been two years since I've adopted her, she's changed so much from the dog she used to be. Rover's previous owners moved and abandoned her in their empty backyard and months later someone found her and gave her to the local animal shelter. Although, when I first met her while volunteering at the shelter she rarely played with any of the other dogs and she was so scared of any interaction which caused many people to often overlook her, but it just made me want to adopt her even more, so I did.

With one last pat to Sparky's head I head into the kitchen and am greeted by mom's usual sticky note posted to the refrigerator telling me that she was called into work and that dinner is in the oven. I ball the paper up in my fist before throwing it in the trash before following the memorized directions, setting the timer and warming up the shrimp scampi bake in the oven. Meanwhile I decide to take Sparky and Rover outside for a walk and wait for them to do their business. When their done we return back inside and I refill their dishes with fresh water and food.

I grab two cokes from the fridge, and check the timer on the stove before joining Kenny in the living room. I pass him one as I sit down and tune in to the show Kenny has settled on. We watch and idly comment on the show before the timer sounds from the kitchen and I remove the shrimp bake from the oven and grab two forks before reclaiming my spot on the sofa. We both dig in immediately despite burning our impatient mouths in the process.

When we've finished off the baked pasta I wash the dish out and Kenny keeps me good humored company before we retire upstairs, the dogs scampering behind us. The dogs settle in their large doggy beds and I go to the bathroom and change into a pair of grey drawstring sweatpants and a black t-shirt before brushing my teeth.

Kenny joins me a moment later dressed in similar sweatpants and retrieves his red toothbrush that's reserved for whenever he decides to sleepover. After we're done and I'm in the process of pushing off the multiple pillows that I have on my bed before pulling the covers back I notice that Kenny's standing in the middle of my dark bedroom.

"Are you gonna get in?" I ask, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I was thinking that maybe I should sleep on the sofa downstairs."

I sit on my bed and stare at Kenny. Is he serious right now? "No, dude, why would you do that?" I'm genuinely curious, but he makes no moves to answer so I continue, "I'm not going to attack you if that's what you think."

Kenny grins and without another moment's hesitation he slides in the bed next to me, "Oh please, you wouldn't have the guts to," He laughs.

Once we're both settled beside each other in my too spacious bed and there's a comfortable silence among us I find the nerve to ask (seems like I'm taking a lot of risks tonight), "Why were you so hesitant about getting into bed with me?"

"I don't know. I was just thinking too much about...everything."

"Like what?" I ask curiously and genuinely enjoying the soft hum of Kenny's voice right now.

"About kissing you," He says as his honest blue eyes meet mine. "I keep thinking that it would have changed at least one aspect of our friendship, but surprisingly it hasn't. And then I start wondering if I grossed you out or something because you barely even reacted."

"I wasn't grossed out. It was...nice." It's the truth and I honestly don't feel weird admitting it.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why would I be grossed out by you?

"So, you wouldn't mind if I kissed you again?"

I shake my head, "I wouldn't mind." Kenny chuckles before lacing his right hand with my left and squeezing it gently before letting go.

"You're too charming for your own good Stan." I smile at that and silence falls upon us again in which I notice that Kenny has fallen asleep. My eyelids grow heavy, but I think about Kyle and how much my charm dulls in comparison to his before finally letting my eyes fall shut.

**(*)**

I'm woken up by the shrill sound of my phone ringing and I groan, unconsciously searching for the device in the bed before remembering that I plugged it up before bed. With a sexy grunt (not) I reluctantly pry my eyes open and sit up in bed. I rub my eyes with the heels of my palms and the ringing has stopped by now but immediately starts back up. Grabbing my phone I quickly unplug it before answering the damn thing.

" 'Ello?" I say into the receiver as I try to gather my bearings.

"Hey," Kyle's voice answers and it's like a bucket of ice was thrown on top of me.

"Hey," I greet trying to sound more alert than I really am as I untangle myself from my blankets.

"So, about last night," He starts and I bite my lip at the thought before looking around my room for something to distract me.

"Yeah?"

"I want to talk about what happened," My gaze briefly settles on my sleeping dogs before gliding over to the TV, my reflection staring back at me as I gnaw on my bottom lip. "Look, what happened was-"

"A mistake?" I fill in and I sigh deeply and try to slow my heartbeat. This is not how I wanted to wake up, but I continue, "That we should forget about it? I mean it has been three years and we can't just _pretend_ nothing ever happened between us."

"Stan-"

"For chrissake Kyle, we hated each other for _three_ years. We're _still_ supposed to hate each other."

"Stan-"

"And last night when you kissed me, we got so carried away and it was like the wall that had been holding us back for so long was destroyed and-and-"

"Stan." I finally stop rambling at that. "I know this situation is weird and a complete and utter clusterfuck, but I don't want to cut you out of my life again."

His words echo in my brain. He doesn't? "You don't?"

"No. I know that we can't possibly tell people that we're friends so we are going to have to be discreet about it, but...maybe this could work."

Friends. He wants to be...friends? I think about the way he attacked my lips last night...right. _Friends_.

"Okay," I breathe out at last.

"Good, so what do you think about coming over?"

"Today?" I ask and my heart jumps in my chest as my door opens and Kenny walks in with a half eaten banana in his hand.

"Right now." I try not to smile at that.

Kenny flops on my bed and stares at me from upside down as he eats his banana, "Uhm, yeah how about later. It is still really early."

"It's noon," As he says this I momentarily pull the phone away from ear to stare at the time and it reads exactly, "Are you busy?"

"No, well yeah, kinda. I'm hanging out with Kenny."

"Oh," Is all he says and I bite my cheek to hold in my laughter as Kenny puts the banana peel on his nose and crosses his eyes.

Kenny throws the peel at me and we toss it back and forth and on my last toss the peel effectively covers his mouth. And as he sputters horribly at the stringy banana bits I laugh before instantly remembering the phone glued to my ear, "Sorry, Kenny is...being distracting, but we can-"

"I get it, you're busy. No worries."

"I will call you," I insist.

"Swear?" He asks and I nod before remembering he can't see me.

"Pinkie."

* * *

"Slow down right here," I say and instantly Georgie's speed decreases to something in similar to a snails pace and I'm sitting on the edge of my seat now. "Filmore," I call and he stops with a long sigh before looking at me and Georgie stops the car.

"What do you want?" Filmore asks as he adjusts his dark blue duffle bag on his shoulder. "I'm tired from practice and I just wanna go home."

"We can take you."

"No, I'd rather walk and _then_ get hit by a bus than to get in the car with this freak," Filmore says motioning to Georgie.

"Fuck you. I don't even want your conformist ass to even touch my seats. You're on very thin ice, dick."

Filmore stares at Georgie throughout his entire rant before silently walking again and I nudge my boyfriend's shoulder to start driving again. He mumbles something under his breath, but I ignore it as we continue.

"Why won't you talk to me Fil? Is that so hard?"

"Sort of, yeah." Well, I didn't expect that response.

"But I thought we were good? Last time we hadn't talked for weeks and now you're doing the same thing, _again_? Tell me what's going on with you!" The car halts and so does Filmore's pace.

"Fine. I can't-" Filmore's eyes dart from mine to Georgie's quickly. "What you're both doing, it's wrong. I know you're my best friend, but dude, you are cheating on your girlfriend with one of your close friends and it sucks having to play both sides, alright? I see Ruby when she's down and upset about you not returning her phone calls or you not spending enough time with her just so you can do whatever with this asshole," Filmore throws his hands up.

"Hey, shut your fucking mouth!" Georgie shouts as he leans over me.

"_Oh_ please, spare me Firkle!" I grit my teeth at that and before I'm able to calm Georgie down he's flinging himself out of the car and storming towards Filmore. They are about the same height the only difference being that Georgie is much thinner. Although, that doesn't stop him from grabbing Filmore by his red shirt and jerking him forward.

"Don't fucking call me that. If I ever, _ever_ hear you call me that again, I'll hurt you." It's silent. Not even the chirping of birds and crickets dare to break the heavy silence that cloaks us. Georgie means it. And by the unsure way Filmore is staring at him he knows it. They've always argued and bantered and joked about doing physical harm to the other, but it never got as bad as this. It's an established rule that we wouldn't call him by his birth name. He hates it...although it wasn't always like that.

More precisely it happened during our second year of middle school where he had gotten into a really bad fight after school that left him in the hospital for a week. His parents showed up to sign papers, but they refused to see him because they had heard why he was almost beaten to the death. Georgie was gay. He was always teased and picked on about liking guys, but when he finally confessed to actually being gay a few people didn't accept that.

He was jumped after school by two guys as another held him down, they had ripped his pant legs and drew multiple jagged cuts in his legs, arms, and wrists. They left him to bleed out and the only person to find him as he sat in a pool of his own blood was a custodian worker who had forgotten something inside of the school. And on the day he was released I walked him home and till this day I think it will always haunt me the way he looked that day. He looked so troubled, and scared to even walk inside of his own house. I had never seen that look in his grey eyes before and it chilled me right down to the bone.

Immediately I tried to convince him we could go to my house and to Starks and we did, but inevitably he had to go home and I couldn't stop his parents from jerking him inside of the house before promptly slamming the door in my face. I could hear the screaming and yells from inside and it was horrible. I tried the door and of course it was locked, but that didn't stop me from banging on the front door so hard I could feel my knuckles cutting against the old wood, but no one answered. I listened to his screams and I felt so helpless...so useless. I was always the one in our small group that knew what to do and I couldn't even help one of my best friends, the boy I sat in the hospital with everyday for a week.

I couldn't do a damn thing and I hated it, and I hated myself for it. After the sounds of his screaming disappeared I had to force myself away from the door, so I ran, and ran, and ran until I was sick. I cried until I could barely breathe and after what felt like hours I finally went home. Ever since that night Georgie wasn't the same, he didn't talk to his parents and neither did they, he shunned them and the name they gave him. And although his cuts and bruises healed, some proved to be too damaging.

Things are better now despite what had happened and the guys who attacked Georgie were properly dealt with and expelled, but never will any of us forget. Before that night no one had ever been shunned for being gay (considering the multiple people who are gay in South Park) let alone attacked.

A week later he filed to legally change his name and his parents carelessly signed the documents and even though he wouldn't admit it I know that it hurt to see that your own parents cared so little about you. But nonetheless it was the first day Georgie actually smiled again and for that I was more than happy for him. And his parents seem to pretty much give and let him do anything as long as they don't have to put up with him. And honestly, the less he has to do with his parents the better.

Filmore's eyes ultimately contorts into regret, but his jaw remains locked as Georgie pushes him away hard. "Look, nobody's forcing you to play both sides," Georgie says finally. "I get it. You hate this, but I love Ike and that's not going to change any time soon. You hate that I'm with Ike and honestly whether you admit it or not you dislike me for more than that."

"You're wrong," Filmore coldly states.

"No, it's always been that way. You think I stole him away from you. That's why we're always at each other throats. It may be funny and normal banter, but I would be stupid not to notice the looks you give me when you think I'm not looking. That's also why you stopped talking to Ike for months."

"No, that's not true! I was pissed that he stole Ruby away from me. He knew that I was interested in her, he knew that I wanted her!"

"She's not a possession! And he never stole her away, you _never_ had her to begin with. Yeah, he _fucked_ up, but you had plenty of opportunities to finally confess your feelings to Ruby."

"That's _not_ the point."

"It is. And you know it. It just proves my point that it was always more than that."

"Is it true?" I ask as I center my attention on Filmore and my voice sounds so quiet in comparison to their recent shouting.

"Of course not!"

"Filmore," Georgie says and I can tell he's becoming really fed up with him, "Admit it! Stop fucking around. He's your best friend, so talk to him!" With that Georgie storms back to the driver's side and gets in. He shoots me one look and I unbuckle my seatbelt. When I'm about to open the door he stops me with a hand on my arm, "Let him talk to you. I don't know why he's being such an asshole. More than usual." He squeezes my arm and I nod before exiting.

I face Filmore as Georgie drives away and he doesn't seem to want to be in my presence at all. We stare at each other a moment longer before Filmore clicks his teeth and continues walking and follow beside him. Great. Here I am on a school night practically _begging_ my best friend to speak to me. Awesome.

"Can you just talk to me?" I find myself mumbling after a long duration of painful minutes have ticked by. He doesn't say anything and by looking at his face I can't even tell what he's thinking. "I'm sorry," I start and he sighs loudly. I'm tempted to just shut up, but swallowing my pride and stubbornness I continue because he's expecting me to give up.

"I know you confided in me about how much you liked Ruby. I-I wasn't-I didn't plan to ask her out...it just happened...The night before I called Ruby...was the first time I kissed Georgie." He doesn't say anything, his face still stone, "And I freaked. So many things were running through my head, like does this mean I'm gay now? How will my parents react? What would Kyle think? What would _you_ think? I couldn't tell you and I couldn't tell anyone.

I was so confused and on the edge of loosing my mind because every time I saw Georgie I would think about that kiss and _I_ wasn't ready to accept that I was attracted to him or any guy for that matter. Ruby was there and she just looked so beautiful, so I kissed her hoping her lips would feel greater than Georgie's did while pressed against mine. I wanted to just forget everything. And what better way to prove that I wasn't attracted to the same sex than to date Ruby. She's beautiful and and she was the shoulder I cried on whenever my thoughts became too hectic and I couldn't control them. She was there for me, no questions asked." I pause in my tirade, my feet still moving against the asphalt.

"I was selfish. I realize that now. When I see they way you look at me, the way you don't want to even be around me it hurts because, dude, you're my best friend." It's silent for a while as we draw closer to Filmore's house. I'm at my end. I feel like I opened a box of unwanted feelings that I wish I could stuff back inside. I hate feeling like I'm _losing_ my best friend.

"I was selfish too," Filmore utters and for a moment I thought I imagined he had said anything at all.

I look at Filmore, "What?"

"I said I was selfish. I…" He stops briefly, his face twisting up in confusion as if he's trying to figure out how to word things, "I was hurt that you asked Ruby out, but the more I tried to convince myself that it was the reason why I was pushing you away, the more it didn't feel right and it just didn't feel true. You were hanging out with Georgie more and...and don't laugh you fucker...but I was honestly jealous. You are _my_ best friend, why does he deserve so much of your attention? Even after I caught you guys making out I still didn't understand. I still don't."

"So, you're upset because we didn't spend enough time together?"

"Don't make it sound like that," Filmore says shooting me a look.

"I'm not. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"What was I supposed to say, 'Ike, I want you to hangout with me, not that fucker that you're possibly fucking.' I sound like a bitch."'

"No, you don't." Filmore stares at me and I grin, "Maybe, but I wouldn't have cared if you said that. You know that I can be an huge idiot sometimes."

Filmore lips quirk up in a small smile, "You're not an idiot, you're just sometimes too oblivious for your own good."

I nudge him, "And at fear of sounding gay, I missed you too."

"Ugh, so gay," Filmore mock complains.

"So, am I not allowed to admit I missed my best friend?"

"No," Filmore says but he has his usual lopsided smile on his face.

"_Fine_," I say as he slings his arm around my shoulders.

"Are you...and Georgie fucking?"

"Why? Wanna join?" I taunt.

"What? No," Filmore declines quickly.

"You sure?" I continue to tease. "Maybe we can finally be as close as you want."

"Really?" He asks contemplatively.

"Yeah." I think about this as we walk up Filmore's driveway.

"Maybe, in another life," He says and we halt in our steps. I stare at him before knocking heads together. Imagining me and Filmore together...it's actually not too far fetched considering we're best friends after all, but I can't honestly see us being more than that.

"Maybe," I find myself saying anyway. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and check the time. My mom is gonna kill me if I don't make it home in time for dinner. Its already dark out.

"I think it's only right that you stay for dinner seeing as we just repaired our friendship and all." I laugh at, yeah it wouldn't hurt. Plus this will be the first time in what feels like months that we've hung out alone.

"Fine, I'll stay." Filmore beams, perfect teeth and all, and I lightly nudge his left shoulder as he unlocks his front door.


	25. Routine

Routine

* * *

"Totally, we should go get milkshakes. No, I will slap the fuck out of Fosse if he ever did that." I adjust my cell phone as I practically shove my duffle bag in the backseat of my car. Kenny laughs on the other end and I get a weird sour taste in my mouth at thought of us getting milkshakes last Wednesday at the milkshake shack downtown and as usual Bill and Fosse were being stupid fuckers. I swear they're gonna get fired one of these days.

"Bill was like 'Here's your shit!'" He laughs and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I'm not ordering a chocolate milkshake ever again because of that."

"What? Dude, they probably didn't even do anything to it. They're not that ballsy."

"Did you see the way Fosse winked at me as we left? He definitely did something." Kenny continues to cackle and I finally move to the drivers side of my car.

"I'll meet you there in about ten," He says finally.

"Cool," I say before ending the call.

I haul myself inside of my car and immediately start the car up to turn on the heat. Once the car is warm enough and I've put my seat belt on I back out of my parking space and quickly leave the empty parking lot. I stop at the red light and my phone lights up with a annoying shrill, reaching beside me I answer it without seeing who's calling.

"Hello," I greet as I effortlessly make a few quick turns with one hand. I can't help the way my lips quirk up at the deep, raspy voice that answers from the other side.

"Hello yourself hottie," His voice is light and joking.

"Wow, thanks for that," I snort, but laugh nonetheless.

Kyle laughs from the other end and it's slightly high pitched and just adorable, "Would you rather I not compliment you?"

"No, I like it." It's just weird after not hearing compliments from him...or anything good for that matter for so long. I miss it.

"Likewise. What I wouldn't do to have you here with me right now."

"What are you up to?"

"Watching Terrance and Phillip reruns." I bite my lip at that. Imagining Kyle all cuddled up in his room, looking so sweet and cuddly.

"You?"

"Just leaving practice, and I'm actually meeting Kenny for milkshakes. We kinda made it a routine to have milkshakes together every Wednesday."

"Is it the new place downtown?" I nod before remembering that he can't see me.

"Yeah." There is a pause on the other end but its brief before Kyle speaks again.

"I wish I could come. I pretty sure that you still order the chocolate malt swirl milkshake." I do.

"Me too." I agree as I make U-turn and head in the direction of Kyle's house. "Hey, are you alone?" I finally ask after falling into a comfortable silence. Just knowing that he's there is good enough.

"Yes, why?"

"No, reason. I gotta go, but I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye," Is Kyle's short reply and I try not to smile at how put off he sounded. I guess I'm not the only one who enjoys just having the other's presence on the phone. The call ends and I throw my phone in the passenger seat beside me.

I speed through a couple yellow lights and make multiple quick turns before arriving at Kyle's house. I park my car across the street before approaching the Broflovski residence and ringing the doorbell. A few moments pass before Kyle answers the door dressed in a simple pair of black drawstring sweats and a v-neck white t-shirt. His curly hair is mused nicely and he looks so soft and-

"What are you doing here?" Kyle asks as he lets me in. "I thought you were going to get smoothies with Kenny." He says and from the frown set on his pouty lips his feelings of me hanging out with Kenny doesn't resemble his indifferent tone from earlier.

"I want to hang out with you. Kenny wouldn't mind if I missed milkshake Wednesday this one time."

"So you would honestly rather watch reruns with me then scarf down milkshakes?"

"Yeah. I would," I say still trying to convince Kyle of this.

"Fine," Kyle tries to sound annoyed, but he's smiling as I follow him to his room.

He lies back on his bed and pats the spot next to him, but as I approach him he decides to pull me down on top of him. He kisses me slowly and I close my eyes enjoying the feel of his lips dragging against mine. I moan as he bites my lip before continuing to kill me with his slow kisses. When we finally pull apart I open my eyes only to meet Kyle's heady stare. He wraps his arms around my waist and just holds me there and I hate how happy I feel right now.

"Friends don't kiss each other like this," I can't help, but comment as Kyle kisses down my neck.

"Who said we were just friends?"

"You did," I remind.

"Nonsense. How could ever be just friends with you?"

"Maybe we should." Kyle kisses below my ear once more before halting and I have to bite my lip to suppress the moan that threatens to spill from my lips.

"Why?" He asks as I maneuver myself out of his grasp to sit beside him.

"Maybe this is our chance to make things right. What if we've been given this chance to repair our friendship?"

"Do you really_ not_ want to make out with me right now?"

"No, I do. But I don't think we should."

"Why not? Stan, I want this to work, but I also think that we shouldn't suppress how we really feel about each other in order to succeed."

I think about this. He's right, I stare at his lips briefly as they curve in a smirk. Could I really go without kissing him again? These lips? No, no I couldn't. "Okay," I say softly, agreeing to do this. I really hope I won't regret this. I kiss him again and this time he doesn't tease me with slow kisses and soft nips.

Later when our lips are swollen from kissing and we're leaning against the grid tufted headboard of his bed watching an hour long marathon of Terrance and Phillip Kyle breaks the comfortable silence, his long fingers still running smoothly through my hair.

"Can I be honest?" He asks and immediately I nod.

"I was kind of jealous of you and Kenny having some sort of routine together." I open up my mouth to speak, but quickly close it, wanting Kyle to talk, "I want to be close to you again, but I'm scared to think that because of everything that's happened we never will be. I miss being with you everyday after school or just coming over to each other's house unannounced. I miss everything being so...natural between us."

"We can be," I assure Kyle. "I miss you too and I really do mean it. And I want to be closer to you, even closer if that's possible. I don't want to overwhelm you seeing as how all of this just happened, but I..." Kyle leans forward and pushes our lips together and I don't think I'll ever get enough of this.

* * *

"Hey, how are _you_ doing tonight?" I roll my eyes at what is bound to be one of the worst convo's of my life.

"I'm good, how are you?" I find myself replying anyway. I mean he is hot despite the fact that he's leaning his muscular figure way too close to me right now and his breath is tinged with the smell of cheap whisky.

"Better now that you're here. You're the prettiest thing here."

"Likewise," I comment before taking a large gulp of my drink, Mr. dark and handsome's eyes dark eyes follow my movement. He bites his red lips and my lips curve over the top of my glass.

"Can I buy you another drink?" The man asks and I refrain from bursting into laughter at that. I mean seriously? I'm underage with a clearly fake ID, but that doesn't stop me from getting in, guys buying me drinks and passing me their numbers. I come here enough that it's become something like a routine by now.

Even the freaking bartender seems so enthralled he's willing to give me free drinks every time I come here. Or it could be because he still wants to hook up with me. But who am I to deny a free drink? After the week I've had, I definitely need it.

As soon as I open my mouth to answer the older guy practically glued to my side someone slides between us. "No, actually you can't." I stare at the blonde now beside me. He's stunning and I don't use that term lightly.

Older hot guy grunts his disapproval of being pushed away, "What are you doing?"

"I'm buying a drink for my boyfriend." Boyfriend? How fucking disappointing. I have half the mind to find out who this boy is. He's lucky as fuck.

"I was here first," Older guy says on the verge of causing a scene.

"And? Is this kindergarten? Am I supposed to go to the end of the line," Blondie promptly turns away from him.

"You ought to change your tone with me boy." Older guy threatens, but blondie is not shaken.

"I'll speak to you however I want. So screw you, get lost." And with that blondie doesn't move and it funnily enough irritates the man further.

"Look, you fuckin-"

"Oh, you're still here? I thought I told you to get lost. Babe," Blondie looks at me and my heart stutters in my chest. His baby blues scan my face before he continues, "Is he bothering you?"

"Babe?" The guy asks incredulously, his eyes flicking over to me "You're slumming it with _this_ guy?"

"Slumming it? Hardly." Blondie scoffs and I can barely find the words to speak as the two guys stare at me. This disagreement has caught the attention of the people in earshot of us and even the cute bartender who looks at us in curiosity in between serving other people.

"Jeff," Someone calls warningly from behind us and the older man looks over his shoulder briefly.

"He's with me. Right babe?" Blondie asks jaw visibly clenched as he stares at Jeff coldly. I feel slightly uncomfortable at all the eyes staring at us.

"Y-yeah," I stutter out. It's quiet and Jeff still looks like he wants to fight and continues to intimidate the blonde with his burly build. And Blondie _continues_ to stand his guard until someone finally grabs Jeff by the arm.

"Come on man, it isn't worth it," The stranger comments, shooting me a brief look before tugging on Jeff's arm.

After a moment of silent resistance Jeff finally relents. "This isn't over pretty boy. You fuckin' fuck nut," He comments before being hauled off by his friend.

Everything resumes and I hear a few people laugh, but I'm distracted by the dazzling smile directed at me. "So, how about that drink?" I ask and the blonde instantly catches the bartender's attention and orders two drinks.

"You gotta name?" He asks his eyes never straying from mine.

"Tweek. And thanks, for chasing that guy off," I praise as the bartender quickly sits my drink in front of me, ignoring all the angry people before me.

"I can't tell whether that's a good thing or not?" He replies before taking a sip of his tequila.

"It's good," I say quickly wanting to keep conversation flowing between us.

"Please," He starts and his voice is barely above a whisper, but he's so close that I can hear every syllable, "You wanted that guy to fuck you."

I paste on a mock appalled look but I can't help the way my lips slightly quirk up in a grin, "I'd never."

His grin doesn't falter, "So you're innocent?"

"As innocent as they come." I wish.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I reply as if we were discussing something as simple as the weather. I take a sip from my drink, "So, what's your name 'boyfriend?'"

"Haven't you ever learned not to talk to strangers?"

**(*) **

"Shit!" I shout loudly as my back hits the metal door behind me. The sound of the restroom stall door locking echoes in my head as my lips are attacked by the blonde dude in front of me. My eyes roll lovingly as he grinds against me and I can't help the moans that release from my swollen lips. I practically bury my tongue in his mouth before raking my nails underneath his thin white shirt and feeling smooth skin and abs galore. Quickly he removes his lips from mine and flips me around, my head thumping the metal door in the process, but I can care less. I just want his lips on mine again.

"You're so innocent." Blondie whispers in my ear and it no longer holds its taunting tone from earlier. It's hard and I moan as he grinds his crotch against my ass. "You feel that?" I nod agreeing and I'm willing to agree to anything at this point. As long as he keeps treating me this way. He bites my ear with his teeth before ripping my tight jeans down along with my boxer briefs. I wait in anticipation at the sound of his zipper being pulled down.

The foil of a condom wrapper is thrown somewhere in the stall and I whimper at the wet sound of blondie slicking himself up with a packet of lube before (surprisingly) liberally applying the rest to my awaiting ass. He scissors two fingers inside of me and moan after moan falls from my mouth before he removes his fingers and replaces it with something much larger. He grabs my waist and fucks into me hard, and it feels so good. I needed this.

His thrusts are fast and unrelenting, but my thoughts are consumed by the vision of a slim and effortlessly toned body, dark hair and grey-blue eyes as he wraps his hand around my throat and pushes me back upon his slim figure. I can't breathe as he continues to thrust into me, my cock flapping uselessly in front of me as I revel in the pleasure I feel. Soon his hard thrusts become more erratic and I moan loudly at the tightening in my stomach. After a few more thrusts my release spills out onto the grimy bathroom floor, but blondie doesn't relent until he's filling up the condom inside me.

I let my weight fall onto the metal door as he finally releases my neck from his hold, trying to catch my breath. He slips out of me and I barely notice as he ties up the used condom and flushes it. Once I've caught my breath I pull up my boxers along with my jeans and blondie does the same. After we're adjusted he kisses me on the lips again and I accept before pulling away and leaving the stall. I can't help, but scold myself as we head towards the bathroom door. I never even got his name.

"What are you mumbling about?" Blondie asks and I stare at him in confusion before realizing I must have said my thoughts out loud.

"You never even told me you're name?"

"Gary."

My beating heart halts in my chest. Blonde hair, baby blue eyes- "As in Harrison?" Blondie stares at me in curiosity.

"Yeah. So, you've heard of me?"

"Mostly rumors."

"Interesting. Tell me, did any of them peek your interest?" He's crowding my space again and I'm crazily enough reminded of the fact that he attended some type of fancy prep school instead of slumming it at South Park Middle with the rest of us.

My heart continues to plummet at the realization that I just fucked someone who goes to my school. No one even knows that I _like_ guys. Fuck.

"Maybe. Look, you can't tell anyone about this, okay?"

"Yeah," He nods like he's used to being told this, "Under one condition."

"Am I signing a deal with the devil?"

"Maybe," He says mocking my previous answer. "I wanna see you again. It doesn't have to be under these circumstances."

"So...you wanna hang out together."

"Yes," Gary smiles and even though his hair's a mess and his lips are still red from the kissing we did earlier he looks as gorgeous as ever.

"So friends. I can do that."

"Great," He kisses my cheek and I can't help the blush that spreads there. Abruptly there's a loud knock on the door and someone barges in.

"Cartman," I say in shock at the figure before me. "What are you doing here?"

"I can ask the same of you?" Cartman takes one look at the both of us, taking in our appearance before rolling his eyes in his usual unimpressed fashion. "Sorry," He says not sounding in the least sorry at all, "But I'm stealing your butt buddy."

"Wait, you guys are friends?" Before Cartman can jump in to probably disagree Gary answers.

"Yes, the best." I continue to stare in shock as Cartman practically drags Gary out of the 'infested' restroom.

After a minute of processing what the hell just happened I remove my phone from left pocket thanking the heavens that the screen didn't crack after... my recent activities. I glare at the notification of _6 Missed Calls_ on my screen before turning my phone completely off.


	26. Dancing with Girls

Dancing with Girls

* * *

I've called at least twenty times _today_ and there is still...no answer. I've been trying to pretend that it doesn't bother me, but it does. It fucking does. I don't want to come off as some love sick puppy because I'm not, I have other things and people I could be doing right now. I just prefer to stay locked inside of my room and glare hatefully at my ceiling while doubting my existence is all.

I press the ignore button for what seems like the thousandth time without looking who's dared to call me at this moment. Can't I brood alone? I've been nice all day and I just want to be alone. A few moments later this all proves futile at the sound of loud knocking on my bedroom door. I decide to just lay here hoping they will eventually go away.

Maybe it's Ruby again, but I'm pretty sure she's scampered off to one of her friends house to probably complain about me or whatever she does when she's not harassing our household. The knocking is insistent and it doesn't stop and it is now knocking some type beat on my door until I finally stand and swing the door open to reveal Kenny leaning against the door frame, hand poised to continue his horrendous knocking.

"What?" I greet beyond annoyed.

"Finally," Kenny comments none the least bothered as he ducks under my arm and into my dark room before flicking the lights on. I slam the door closed and squint my eyes at the assault of bright light that envelops my room as he makes himself comfortable in my desk chair. Spinning around he asks, "Were you beating off or something?" I ignore his question and opt to sit on my bed again. I bury my face in my hands and a second later feel cold fingers running gently through my dark locks. I don't even protest at the lovely feeling of Kenny's fingers as they continue to massage my head.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" He asks and I shake my head, not really wanting to speak, "But you have to tell me what's wrong so I can go kick whoever hurt you ass or asses."

"How noble," I comment practically dripping sarcasm.

"Yeah, well, I try. Tell me what's up with you, you've been acting different lately, something's bothering you?"

"I'm fine," I insist, but there's no real force behind it.

"Nope, don't believe it. Why are you lying to me sweetheart that's not fair-"

"It's Tweek," I finally say and take it as small victory at having (temporarily) rendered Kenny silent.

"He's not speaking to me. We sort of had a falling out and...he accused me of acting like his boyfriend." I laugh, but my heart isn't in it, "Me. Acting like his boyfriend."

"Well, did you think about why he said that?"

I glare at Kenny, but answer anyway, "Yes, and I still haven't figured it out."

"Maybe Tweek accused you of playing the boyfriend role because you tend to treat him that way. You treat him as if he's delicate or something. Tweek is the eighteen year old boy who gave _you_ a black eye and I don't know too many people who are capable of doing that. He isn't something that needs to be protected."

"But," I protest and even to my ears it sounds weak, "I treat all my friends that way."

"True, you're protective of your friends, but with Tweek its on a whole different level. You remember sophomore year when Cartman tried to convince everyone that Tweek was secretly drinking extreme amounts of coffee again?"

"Yeah," I remember how upset Tweek was at the many looks people were giving him thinking that he had somehow 'relapsed' and would have one of his infamous old freak outs.

"We literally had to stop you from _seriously_ injuring Cartman. I had never seen you so mad over a rumor."

"The fucker deserved it."

"Hey, I totally agree, but do you see how different you are when it concerns Tweek?"

"I guess," I say with an annoyed grunt. Fine, I admit it.

"I know you want into the guy's tight pants, but-"

"I don't!"

"Craig," Kenny says and the asshole actually looks disappointed in me, "Let's not do this. You like Tweek, you're _into_ Tweek."

"What clued you in?" I ask after a few moments have passed, not even trying to deny it anymore.

"What didn't. You've been trying to get in his pants for a while now, but I didn't really think you had feelings toward him. I mean you have locked yourself in your room to have your own pity party because he's ignoring you. Plus that stare you gave him in English today," Ken closes his eyes and places his hand (the hand that isn't playing with with my silky strands) on his chest dramatically, "The angst and tension in that one stare, I wish someone would look at me like that. Love requited at its finest." I push Kenny away and he laughs as he wheels himself away from me.

"Who let you in my house anyway?"

"Ruby, she told me you have been holding yourself up here since school ended."

That brat. "So did you come here just get me to fess up to liking Tweek."

"No, I just wanted to see what you were up to. Is that alright?"

"No." I say, but I'm not really bothered as I watch Kenny walk around my room, looking at various things lying around. I haven't cleaned my room since Stan's party and it reflects my emotional distress and clutter perfectly.

"Too bad," Ken says winking at me before walking over to something in the corner of my room. He bends down and picks up the dark object.

"What's that?" I ask and mentally scold myself at how stupid I sounded. Whatever that is was thrown in the corner of my room I _should_ know. God, I'm such a slob.

"A jacket," Ken answers despite my silent mental anguish at my messy room.

"Okay," I say slowly not getting why he's staring intently at what looks to be a leather jacket.

"Who would've left a jacket in a corner of your room?"

"I don't know. No one's been in here, but you since the party."

"Since the party...who was up here?"

"Why? Are you some type of detective now? Need a few Scooby snacks to get a clue?"

"Craig."

"Fine, I thought you were here to make _me_ feel better. Stan. He was hiding out up here before I brought him down to cut the cake."

Kenny digs in the pocket of the jacket and pulls out a small skull lighter. He looks at it briefly before stuffing it back into the jacket pocket. And throwing it on my desk. My eyes follow the movement, but I really don't feel the need to ask as Ken's smile returns before flopping on the bed next to me.

"So what do you wanna do?" He asks and I shrug before picking up the remote and flicking the TV on.

"Don't you have work?" I ask not really wanting Kenny to leave, but...

"No, not right now," He says as he leans over my shoulder. I nod before finally settling on some housewives show. We talk about stupid random things for what feels like hours and as I'm drifting off Kenny turns the light and TV off and takes his leave, but not before taking the offending leather jacket with him.

* * *

"Glad you made it bestie," Bebe greets me happily as she lets me in. I ignore Bebe's loopy smile and notice Bebe's seventeen year old cousin Brett to my right, sitting in the living room watching what looks like an episode of _Spongebob_. Bebe mentioned that he'd be staying with them for awhile, something about his parents traveling within Europe.

"Hi Brett," I greet and he shoots me a smile.

"Hey Wendy, please get this brat away from me."

"What? I'm not a brat, you're a brat!" Bebe protests.

"How mature," I comment to which Brett just laughs before pushing his sandy blonde bangs out of his face.

"Come on Wendy, let's go to my room." Bebe practically drags me upstairs, "Stop corrupting my friend Brett!" She yells down before pulling me into her bedroom. I drop my bag somewhere in the room before flopping down on her fluffy white bed and stare gloomily at the chandelier in the middle of the room.

"So, what are we doing?"

"We are having a girls night! Just the two of us."

"Okay," I look around and notice the two large bowls of popcorn, two 2-liters of sprite, and at least four bags of mini dove chocolates. I reach my hand into the popcorn bowl in front of me only for my hand to be slapped by Bebe.

"Go change into your pj's first," She insists.

"Fine," I mumble, grabbing my bag and leave to go to the bathroom. I change quickly and walk back into the room to see Bebe lounging on her bed.

"What movie do you wanna watch first?" Bebe asks and I shrug and grab a handful of popcorn.

"How about something funny?" I stuff my mouth of popcorn and Bebe nods and goes to Netflix and scrolls down to the comedy section, clicking on _Mean Girls_.

"Really, Mean Girls?"

"Hey, it was either this or something scary. The other movies seem like shit right now." I roll my eyes and Bebe throws a pillow at me as she moves to sit against tufted arebelle headboard with me.

**(*)**

Close to the end of the movie and a whole bowl of popcorn and half a bag of chocolates later we talk about something non-movie related.

"So," Bebe starts, but doesn't finish. I avert my eyes from Cadie's prom speech to Bebe as she just stares ahead, but I doubt she's really watching the movie.

"What?" I prompt.

"I think-I think I'm gonna break things off with Kenny."

"Why?" I ask in fake confusion before stuffing two chocolates in my mouth.

"Because I want to."

"Do you like someone else?" I ask knowingly.

"Yeah, I think so. I don't know if they would like me back though."

"Well, why not? I mean look at you Bebe," Bebe looks down at her black and pink shorts before looking back up at me, "You're cute _and_ you're awesome."

"Yeah, I doubt it."

"No, really. Who wouldn't want to be with someone like you." Bebe just stares at me silently for a long moment before averting her eyes. She plays with ends of her black sleeveless shirt and I stop her. "Trust me, would I really lie to you?"

"No. I'm still sorting my thoughts out about this. I mean I haven't really been in a real relationship since the tenth grade. And why not, you know? We were honestly just having sex, but I hope Kenny doesn't freak."

"He won't, Kenny isn't like that. I think it's really important that you both sit down and talk about this."

"Yeah, alright." Bebe agrees before reaching into the chocolate bag and unwrapping a dove and popping it in her mouth.

"Have you told anyone else about this?"

"Yes, I told Brett."

"What did he say?"

"He said it was okay, and that I have the right to choose who I do and don't want to be with."

"Exactly. So don't rush it, trust me, you're better safe than _sorry_," I mumble.

"I just really like this one though. I'm scared, but I think I can do this."

"No worries, you can."

Bebe chuckles, "You don't even know who I'm talking about."

"No, but I know you. You wouldn't pick some major douche."

"What if I told you it was Cartman?"

"Cartman?" We both erupt into laughter, "Seriously, despite how irritating Cartman is sometimes...he has a heart. I think he can be really passionate about things when he wants to be."

"Aww, how nice of you Wendy! I'll have to let him know how nicely you think of him."

"No, don't you dare."

"So you'd rather have him think you despise him?"

"Yes, we have some type of agreement. We work together and he's...okay to hang out with sometimes, when he's not being an idiot that is." Bebe just stares at me before pushing my head lightly.

"When you're ditching me, you hangout with Cartman," She says sounding a bit offended at this but as a smile tugs at her lips I smile back knowing that she's just joking. But really, the less she knows about me and Cartman hanging out the better.

"You're funny Wendy, really funny. Seriously, two people who've basically hated each other since Elementary somehow hangout."

"Yeah, whatever, he's irrelevant. There's more important things and people in my life," I say wanting to change the subject.

"Oh really? Like who?"

"Anybody other than Cartman...and Stan." Bebe laughs again and I laugh with her.

After a moment Bebe speaks again,"Why did you date Stan for so long? After all the times you broke up, what made it worth it?"

"I don't know. I think I just liked having someone that I knew cared about me the same as I did about them," I sigh, but feel the need to confess a little, " Like now...I don't hate Stan. But I do miss having someone to run to, someone that will listen to the little dumb things that happened to me." I look at Bebe and notice that she's playing with the charm necklace around her neck. I touch my neck subconsciously to check if my identical one is there. "Have you ever been in love with someone Bebe?"

"No," Is all she says her fingers still playing with one of the gold charms.

"No one? You haven't felt anything while being with someone or just by touching hands with that person?" I think about Bebe's past relationships and even her small flings, but she just shakes her head.

"No, never." I reach my hand out to push a stray black hair out of my face only for it to fall back down. I huff at that and am surprised when Bebe's cold hand reaches forward and tucks the lock behind my left ear. As she drops her hand her finger tips ghost lightly across my right cheek making me shiver.

"What was the best kiss you've ever had?" Bebe asks suddenly.

"Why?"

She shrugs, "Haven't you ever had one of those moments where everything felt perfect and...? "

"Like a movie? I guess. There was one moment when Stan and I broke up for like the millionth time and it was pouring raining outside, we were drenched, and I was crying, but I wanted him to kiss me, to scream that he loved me and that he wanted _me_...but he didn't. It would've been perfect," I say a bit wistful at the memory.

"So did it ever happen again...that feeling?"

"No. I wish somehow I could recreate it, not so much setting wise, but I want to feel that urge and desire I had in that particular moment again."

"Do you want to try?"

"What?" I sit up and stare at Bebe confused, but she just stares back expressionless. She's actually serious.

"You said you wanted to recreate that scene or moment again, so why not?

"But what if I don't feel anything. I'm sure I don't feel anything right now. So what's the use?"

"Because I'm your best friend and I'm offering to be your test dummy for this."

"But you're a girl," I protest. I'm not even attracted to girls.

"Thanks for the newsflash," Bebe says and all I can do is stare at her. Would this even work? I've never kissed a girl before and… "It doesn't work this way. When it happened the first time I remember being worked up and upset."

"Well, how about we use music instead. In every movie there's always like some type of dramatic song. We can try that?"

"I don't know...are you sure?" I ask once again. I don't think this is going to work.

"Are you?" Bebe questions a small grin playing on her lips as she leaps off of her bed to plug her phone into her stereo set. "Don't worry Wens. If all fails, at least we can scratch one thing off of our lists, right?"

I try to ease my thoughts and slight anxiety, but I never planned let alone really thought about kissing a girl. Well, maybe once did it cross my mind briefly while watching TV, but other than that I've strictly been interested in guys. My thoughts are promptly invaded by the sound of…"The Cure?" I say in confusion not knowing that Bebe liked any of their songs. Or even heard of The Cure for that matter.

"Pictures of You. A friend recommended it to me a while back," Bebe says in reply before climbing back onto the bed, facing me. "Okay?" She asks slowly.

I stare at Bebe with uncertainty. I mean what's the worst thing that can happen, really? It's just one _little_ kiss then boom it's over. Eventually my curiosity wins out. "Okay."

Bebe lays her hand gently on my neck making me shiver even more. Why is she so cold? We continue to move our faces closer, our lips getting closer and closer to their mark. Bebe's eyes flicker down to my lips before meeting my eyes. And just like that our lips finally meet and it feels so weird and different to feel my best friend's lips upon mine. Bebe moves back and I release the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"How was it?" She asks quickly.

"It was... pretty good." I lean forward again and kiss Bebe and she kisses me back. Goosebumps spread along my arms at the feel of her lips again. I feel Bebe's tongue lick across my lip and I pull back.

"That felt weird. Did you lick my lips?"

"Yeah," Bebe brings our lips together again, and repeats her previous motion. She continues to lick my lips, gently prying them apart and I let her. My eyes fly open briefly as Bebe's tongue tangle with mine. It feels so weird...and my stomach is twisting, urging me to continue. I chase this light headed feeling I'm overwhelmed with and Bebe pulls on my ponytail and pulls my hair free from the purple scrunchie and it falls loose upon my shoulders.

We continue to kiss and the song intensifies at each lick and nip against each other's lips. I can barely think as we fall onto each other, all I can feel is Bebe's hot tongue on mine as her cold fingers tangle themselves in my hair. I have to practically rip myself away from her to catch my breath and she stares up at me with hooded eyes as I move to straddle her thin waist, my fingers latched onto the bottom of her shirt.

"What are you doing to me Bebe?" I whisper, my breath labored.

"Nothing you wouldn't like," She whispers back. Her fingers let my hair go and she holds my waist instead. "You're so warm." She pulls me forward and flips us, so that she's on top. She grinds down on me gently and I put my hands on her shoulders, stopping her.

"Bebe, w-we can't." She stops and looks at me in confusion. "I don't know what I'm doing a-and your cousin is downstairs and-" Bebe stops me with a finger on my lips.

"Just stop, don't worry about that." Bebe climbs off of me and I'm silently grateful for that.

We just stare at each other and after a few moments I look away and play with the purple charms around my neck, staring at nothing in particular as I catch my breath. That was intense...really intense. Did I even like it? The question echoes in my mind as I lay there.

Looking at Bebe once again she catches my eyes and we kiss again...and as she covers my pajama covered leg with her smooth bare one, reeling me in as our kisses deepen... the answer is on the tip of my tongue. She's on top of me and as she grinds against me I find myself grinding back with a soft moan. And I admit that I'm sort of scared of being caught, but as she kisses my lips again every thought just seems to vanish.


	27. PERFECT

PERFECT

* * *

Classes just ended and I'm standing with Clyde and Jimmy next to my locker and we're talking about Jimmy's last comedy show when we're interrupted by a brightly smiling Delilah that stops next to us.

"Hi," She says nervously as she smiles at us, her eyes lingering on Jimmy more before glancing away.

"Hey, D-delilah," Jimmy replies to the smiling girl.

"Hey, nice show last week. You're really funny," Delilah compliments.

"Thanks Delilah." Jimmy says and Delilah blushes scarlet.

She clears her throat and flips her dark hair out of her eyes and holds out the bowl in front of her, "I need you all to pick a piece of paper out of this bowl."

"Why?" Clyde asks, eyeing the bowl skeptically as if he can see what's inside of it.

"Its for a research project," Delilah rolls her eyes at Clyde as leans forward to look inside and moves it out of reach, "Here Jimmy, you pick first," She winks at him and waits for Jimmy to reach inside of the bowl and retrieve a small piece of paper.

Jimmy reads it, "It says R-r-r-red." Immediately Delilah holds out the bowl and Clyde takes it as she removes a clipboard that I now notice was somehow chained to her beige cargo pants and begins writing things down.

Clyde quickly dives his hand in and removes a slip, "I got white." Clyde says seriously, "I hope I don't get a crappy prize because of this."

"You don't get a prize," Delilah smiles, but even I can see the hint of a smirk quirking her lips up as she scribbles down Clyde's color.

Clyde hands me the bowl and I reach in and once I've grasped a slip I pull out and Clyde immediately snatches it from me, "Hey!" I protest before grabbing the small piece of paper back.

"Aww man, he got a better color!" Clyde whines like the little bitch he's being right now.

"What does yours say Stan?" Delilah asks, ignoring Clyde.

"Blue," I say before balling the paper up and throwing it at Clyde's head who whines.

"Thanks you guys," Delilah says smiling at me and turning her nose up at Clyde.

"H-hopefully I'll get to see you at my next show i-it's going to be downtown," Jimmy says to which Delilah smiles shyly.

"Sure, wouldn't miss it," Delilah says before taking her leave.

"Hey fuckers!" Craig greets as he approaches us with Kenny, Token, Tweek, and Kyle in tow.

"Craig, Stan's being mean to me," Clyde whines before hiding behind Craig.

"How dare you offend my first born," Craig asks mock-appalled as he pretends to comfort Clyde. "Did he hurt you?"

"Yes! He said mean things to me," Clyde cries.

"What?!"

"He said I had a soft ass."

"Oh, give it up already!" I say trying to sound completely annoyed by this act.

"See he's trying coerce me into having sexual relations with him."

"I'm literally going to hurt-"

"My ass."

"What ass?" I look at Kyle, but his attention is focused on Clyde, "You're ass is practically non-existent."

"Craig, Kyle's being mean to me," Clyde cries again before sticking his tongue out like a fucking child.

"Ugh," Everyone rolls their eyes. When Clyde finally unlatches himself from Craig he takes up a place next to Token.

My eyes sweep over Kyle and only to be met with an indescribable look. My eyes quickly flicker back over to our friends to see that they are occupied with something Kenny's telling them. I barely register what was said as everyone bursts into laughter. Everyone, but Tweek.

He's just standing there staring into space or more specifically staring at Craig whose arm is still wrapped around Kenny's shoulder as he tugs lightly on a few strands of Ken's long blonde hair. My eyes easily glaze back over to Kyle and I allow the corner of my mouth to quirk up in a small smile as I try to figure out why Kyle continues to stare at me so intently.

"So do you guys wanna come over to mine to hangout?" Clyde asks and I barely register his question.

"Actually," Kyle starts as he pulls his eyes away from mine, "I promised Ike I would help him out with his chemistry project."

"Wow, you're actually sticking me with these idiots?" Token comments lightly. "I thought we were team sensible, all the way?"

"Hey!" Craig, Kenny, Clyde, Tweek and I protest.

"We. Are. Civilized," Clyde continues.

"As civilized as a pack of wild chimpanzees," Token adds. Kyle glances at me once more before leaving out of the double metal doors at the end of the hall.

"Yeah, I kind of need to go…" I pray for something reasonable to spill from my stupid mouth as everyone stares at me in question. I'm not a good liar, never have been. "to the store. For my mom," I say and it for once it doesn't sound like an obvious lie, "She's working late tonight and I need to pick up a lot of things for the house." I hold my breath for a beat hoping this smooths over.

"Well, okay. See you later dude," Clyde says after what feels like forever, but what was most likely a few seconds. Everyone says their goodbyes and as I escape through the double doors and out towards the student parking lot I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. I quickly make it to my car, hopping inside and starting it.

I check my phone quickly hoping to see a text from Kyle about where he wants to meet up, but I'm met with a handful of other texts that aren't from Kyle. I swipe all text notifications off my phone before sliding the device back in my pocket with a huff. Maybe just _maybe_ our super-best friend telepathy is off. I mean I haven't used it in a while, so maybe it's just a_ little_ bit dusty. But the way he was staring at me it was as if he was trying to tell me something, but clearly I was wrong.

**(*)**

I try not to think anymore about this on my drive home as I drown myself in my music as I sit in traffic. Grabbing my backpack out of the passenger seat, I exit my car and head to the front door and unlock it in a hurry to see Sparky and Rover. As soon as I enter the house I'm immediately pushed against the door, and my lips are attacked by a fervent Kyle.

"I thought," Kyle tries to say through kisses, "You wouldn't show up." My eyes roll into the back of my skull as Kyle's tongue meet mine. Before detaching our lips he bites my bottom lip hard causing me to moan loudly at how lovely it feels. I open my eyes to see Kyle staring at me with a delicious smile curving his lips.

As I catch my breath I ask, "H-how did you get in?"

"I remembered where your mom always stored the spare key. In the small wooden box in the flower pot next to the front door," I try not to smile so hard at the fact that Kyle remembered something so small as where my mom stores our spare house key. Kyle kisses me once more before quickly pulling away and I groan in protest at that as he pulls me upstairs. I stop on the second stair despite Kyle pulling me, insisting that I move and laugh. This moment reminds me so much of the many times Kyle insisted we hurry upstairs to play video games before being called down for dinner or when he would insist that he had something awesome to show me when were kids.

"I gotta feed my dogs," I finally say at Kyle's curious look.

"I already did," He says surprisingly, "And I gave them plenty of treats I found in the pantry closet."

"Thanks Ky," I say feeling warm at his gesture.

"No problem," He replies before tugging me once again, making me move my ass up the stairs.

Once we've made it inside of my bedroom Kyle immediately pushes me down on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask ask as he leans over me, pinning his toned body on top of mine.

"Shh, just let me kiss you," He says softly before attacking my lips once again.

It feels like we kiss for hours before he pulls back and stares at me. I know that it had to be only for a few long moments. Long painful moments as I stare into his charming green eyes that if you look closely enough have a speckle of hazel to them. I've come to realize that he's always staring at me, I wonder what is it that he sees? What makes me so interesting? This is a question I've always asked myself, I'm so average, nothing special unlike Kyle who's so smart and just...beautiful.

Suddenly, Kyle stands, his stare never faltering and quickly removes his shirt and I look away bashfully only for him to gently cup my chin, returning my attention to him. Once I've made the decision to not turn away and direct my full attention to him Kyle continues to strip his tight jeans from his slim, but fit body and I have to stop myself from biting my bottom lip as I stare at the obvious bulge in his black boxer shorts before sweeping my eyes up to his eyes that bore into mine.

"Come here." I stand from my bed effortlessly and slowly make my way towards him. He grabs my waist in a tight grip and I seriously could care less if it bruises. He noses my neck as his hands slide up my torso before pulling on my shirt and ultimately pulling it off of me. As my shirt drops to the floor he's much less bashful about staring at my body as heat rises to my cheeks.

I draw him into a kiss and it doesn't last long before he's pulling away, leaving me to chase his lips. He palms me roughly through my jeans and I moan at that needing to get rid of the offense item between us. As if reading my mind Kyle runs his fingertips playfully over the zipper of my jeans before slowly pulling it down. I close my eyes and sigh in preparation of being released from my confining jeans, but his hands disappear and I open to look at him in questioning.

"Strip." I nod and slide my jeans off and Kyle kicks it somewhere to the side. I try to pull Kyle against me again only for him to step back. I'm confused until he raises a single eyebrow and I finally realize what he wants. I remove my navy boxer briefs and kick those to the side and raise an eyebrow mocking Kyle's previous action as his eyes flit across my body in awe.

"Like what you see?" I can't help but ask teasingly and Kyle smirks wickedly.

"Definitely," He replies before crashing his lips against mine. He kisses me hard and I feel like I'm melting. I hook my fingers onto Kyle's boxers playfully before dipping my hand inside and taking his manhood in my hand. His breath catches at that and I grin as I remove my hand before spitting into my palm and replacing it on him, pumping him steadily.

He kisses me on my collarbone up to my neck, and I flick my wrist causing him to bite down hard on my neck. He kisses me wetly on the neck once more before dragging me onto the bed and I quickly climb on top of him and begin to kiss down his chest, his happy trail of faint little red hairs to the more prominent bulge in his boxers. Why the hell is he still wearing this? Without hesitation I pull them down and throw them somewhere in my room before promptly lowering myself onto my knees and taking him into my mouth.

Kyle gives me a strong stare as I proceed to take him further into my mouth, I wiggle my eyebrows as I swirl my tongue over the tip which I'm pretty sure doesn't look as cool as I originally thought, but it doesn't matter because Kyle's rubbing his fingers against my full left cheek softly and shivers wrack my spine at that. I maintain an intoxicating pace, getting wrapped up in sucking him off. I'd do anything just as long as Kyle continues to look at me they way he is now.

He begins to run his long fingers through my dark locks before gripping them and slowly pushing me down to take even more, I try, but I ultimately end up gagging. I remove my lips from his cock momentarily as I catch my breath before taking him in again. I look at Kyle from beneath my eyelashes and he stares back as he pushes further into my throat. I take it, doing better than the first time which I take as a small win.

Finally, I release Kyle and he proceeds to pull me up on to the bed before demanding that I turn around, I obey, pushing myself onto my knees as Kyle pushes a pillow under my head. I feel slightly impatient as I wait for Kyle to return when he does I moan at the coldness of his lips as he kisses down my spine. I hear the top of what I assume is a bottle of lube pop and I shift in anticipation and am greatly rewarded as I feel a cold digit gently prodding against my rim before entering.

I gasp audibly and Kyle proceeds to trail kisses down my back again as he continues, after a moment he adds another slick finger and I moan at the intrusion as he begins to scissor me open, pushing his long fingers deeper inside of me and it all just feels so amazing.

"Ky," I breathe out, "Ky," I repeat much louder.

"What is it? Talk to me."

"More, more, more," I chant impatiently and I can hear Kyle chuckle from behind me.

"What's the magic word?" He taunts.

"Please!" I practically scream as he pushes both fingers in deep and twists. Straightaway Kyle increases the speed of his fingers and begins to roughly shove them inside of me unrelenting. Moan after moan spills from my mouth from his ministrations and without warning he adds a third finger and I cry out as he twists his digits inside of me, hitting the spot that makes me see stars.

I turn my head to the side to get a glimpse of Kyle as he furiously pounds me with his fingers he looks so concentrated, so enthralled and I can't stop the whine that rips its way from my throat as I feel his tongue prodding at my opening before full on diving inside of me. My face is on fire as he continues to attack me and fuck I missed this. How did I go so long without him?

"What are you doing to me?" Kyle asks as he finally stops his torture and kisses me slowly before pulling away. He slaps my ass twice and I turn around to lie on my back, trying to draw him near, but he tuts at me and I push up on my elbows to stare at him completely offended.

"I need you. Now," I demand and he smirks as he rolls his condom on and pours a generous amount of lube in his palm and slicking himself up.

"Don't pout, you look too cute," He comments as he lifts my right leg onto his shoulder and lines himself up with my opening. I groan impatiently as he teases me by rubbing the thick head of his cock against my rim. I choke on a moan as he pushes in slowly and stops, waiting for me to adjust. God. I close my eyes at the stretch and a small smile curves the end of my mouth at the feel of Kyle rubbing soft circles on my stomach. "Are you okay?" He whispers and I nod waiting a few moments until I'm fully adjusted.

"You can move now," I say and Kyle starts a slow pace before picking up at steady pace that drives me up a fucking wall and I close my eyes in bliss. I make grabby hands for Kyle and pinch his pink nipples before tracing my fingers down his abs, loving the way it contracts at each thrust made against me. "Faster Ky, p-please," My pleads to Kyle come out as some sort of whine as I rake my nails down his toned stomach. "I need it-"

"How much?" He questions as he continues at his consistent pace.

"A lot. So fucking much, p-please give me what I w-want."

"Anything for you," Is all Kyle says before removing my right leg from his shoulder. He spreads both of my legs wider before slotting himself further between them and holding my knees closer to my chest.

"F-fuck, shit, shit!" I scream at the cruel position he's pushed my body into. Kyle connects eyes with me and doesn't waste another second before hammering right into me. I close my eyes at his new brutal pace, but I don't want it to stop.

"_Look _at me," He demands and I open my eyes only to meet blazing green that seem to have darken significantly.

"_Ah_, you're going to split me apart," I pant as he continues to pound into me furiously.

"That's the point. Look at you, taking _my_ cock, you're so greedy for it." I cry out once more as Kyle continues to jab harshly at my prostate.

"All this time...and you're still _so_ fucking tight."

"Just for you," The words fall out of mouth before I could stop them.

"That's right, for me. No one else. No one will ever see you like this, just me. You talk so much shit, everyone wants to fuck you, but you're mine." I stare at Kyle for the millionth time and he looks more gorgeous than all the other times before with sweat dripping from his body and loose curls falling into his face as he continues to pummel me into my bed. "You're _always _going to be _mine_."

Eventually I feel a tightening in my stomach that tells me I'm close and I quickly take myself in my hand and begin to bring myself to release. Seeing this Kyle pushes my hand away and I whine at that until he takes me into his hand and pumps me to release. "I'm gonna come," I tell Kyle as he strokes me expertly.

"Me too." After a few moments I clench around Kyle feeling myself about to release. "Come for me Stan," Kyle says and his voice sounds so warm, contrasting greatly to how completely gone he looks as I finally come undone, spurting between us. Kyle pumps me through my orgasm before coming inside of me with a loud groan. He looks amazing as he empties inside of me and I wish I could burn this look in my mind forever. "Kiss me," He whispers against lips and I do.

**(*)**

After we've come down from our high we lay together against my bed surrounded by a pile pillows. Kyle is rubbing circles on my stomach as I play with his curly strands of hair. "Stan, can I tell you something?" Kyle finally asks interrupting the blissful silence that surrounds us aside from the occasional clinking of the dog tags or moving around from a sleeping Sparky and Rover who we let in afterwards.

"Yes, of course," I say, looking at Kyle.

"Don't ever leave me, again," He says and his voice is so quiet, my heart clenches at that.

"I wouldn't think of it." And it's the truth, I can't possibly give Kyle up. I've tried for almost three years and it was the worst. Now that I have Kyle here beside me once again, I don't plan to ever leave his side.

* * *

**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, review to let me know what you think of the story so far. Anyway, Happy V-Day!**

_***Floats off into oblivion***_


	28. Wolf

Wolf

* * *

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I repeat to myself for the second time before finally knocking. 'This is so lame' I can't help but think as the door swings open and I'm not ambushed by a overly smiling Mrs. Harrison, but instead I'm greeted by Gary who seems surprisingly annoyed at my presence as he leans against the doorframe.

"What are doing here?" He asks and I really wasn't expecting him to sound so...cold? Even as I try to describe this 'mood' as irritation it doesn't fit. Even after he moves back and lets me in the tension doesn't ease up.

"What crawled up your ass?" I ask before sitting on the plush sectional sofa that looks to have been occupied previously by Gary considering the piles of pillows and blankets. "You're usually more chirpier." Gary snatches his covers and a couple pillows before gracefully sitting further down away from me, his questioning glare not letting up.

"I'm just not feeling up to...company today." I groan internally at this. It took a lot of effort on my part to even carry my ass out of my comfy bed today to see him. He's usually the one who seeks me out or asks to meet up somewhere seeing as today is my only full day off since I've started my internship months ago.

"What's wrong?" I ask after a long tense moment passes by. Gary's frown deepens and he doesn't seem to want to answer me as he wraps himself further in his soft blankets.

"You don't care," He laughs humorlessly.

"You're right, I don't," I say and he gives out another fake laugh. "But you're," Sad. "Pissed about something. I want to know what."

"And I don't feel like telling you. How about that?" He's pissing me off and by the slight quirk of his lips, he knows. It's silent again and Gary doesn't even bother to turn on the the TV hanging above the white brick mantel, instead opting to lean his head back and close his eyes.

"What are you doing here Eric?" He asks and he sounds exhausted now.

"So, I'm not allowed here?"

"Kinda, yeah. I've made it clear that I don't want you here."

"Well, I'm not leaving. _How_ about that?" He's not even acknowledging my presence at this point.

As another tense silence falls I take to looking around his house. It seems to be designed in all neutral tones and it's admittedly calming. It's also cold and I wonder why he hasn't made any effort to turn on the heat. My eyes flick over the many pictures that line the brick fireplace mantel and even a snow globe sitting on a white end table next to Gary's part of the sofa. It's broken and inside you can see what looks to be a small golden castle and fake grass decorated by little flakes of bright glitter.

I hate that it's so quiet like this because I've crazily enough become used to Gary's chatter and insistent need to make me react to his stupid antics. Admittedly...I need him to say something.

"You know," I start, "I think it's working." Gary doesn't say anything and I grit my teeth. If I wasn't so sure by his uneven breathing I would think he was asleep. "They seem to be on good terms. And if I know them they way I'm _pretty_ sure I do I'd say they've made up."

It's true and obvious to anyone who's paying a modicum of attention to what's going on or maybe it's just me considering all that I know. There's no way in hell that things could ever be that smooth between the two if they hadn't talked things out. "Kyle would have never forgiven Stan if something hadn't happened."

"What are you trying to say?" Gary asks finally.

"They fucked," I say bluntly. "Or maybe they just talked, maybe it was that easy."

"Why are you so concerned? Why does it fucking matter that they're seeing each other? Why?!"

"Because that means I've done my job by leading them in the right direction," Gary stares at me albeit hatefully.

"With your help of course."

"I didn't help you do anything," Gary says sounding disgruntled.

"Yes, you did. You helped break up the Ben and Jen of Park County High, and you deserve credit for that." Gary gives me a less than impressed look, but he was the one to come with that great plan.

"To let Bebe borrow your car was ace," I muse thoughtfully.

"Her car wouldn't start. I was being nice."

"You were being conniving," I refuse to feel relieved at the small smirk curving Gary's lips. We're finally making progress.

"They didn't belong together anyway. I just saved them years of heartache."

"How caring," I reply with a smile as fake as Mrs. Steven's new boob job.

"Ooh, I know. I'm such a saint," Gary replies just as sarcastic.

"Far from it."

"Like you would know."

"I know a lot actually," I feel the need to remind.

"Get to the point," Gary finally faces me, "I don't even understand why this is so important to you! Is this some sort of game? Are we your pawns and you think can just fuck us over whenever you want? Is that it?!" Gary screams at me, his blue cobalt eyes ablaze as they infinite daggers at me. "What was so wrong with the way things were before? You can't always be there turning and twisting other people's lives to fit your needs."

"I was helping-"

"_Helping_? Is that what you're calling it," Gary throws up his hands helplessly. "Let's be honest," He stands, the covers falling to his feet in the process. "You're a selfish bastard and you don't have a nice bone in your body despite what you want to believe."

I stand as well making my way towards Gary. I've had enough of this little shit. Who is he to talk to me like this? To raise his voice like this and basically call me a piece of shit. "_Watch _your fucking tone. You have no idea what I'd do to you."

"What are you going to do? _Fuck_ me up?" Gary's screaming doesn't let up and his words mock his reply to the first time I threatened to hurt him, "Do it, you never really liked me anyway, so what is stopping you from laying in on me?"

We're standing nose to nose at this point and I want nothing, but to slam my fucking fist into Gary's perfect face. "Fuck. _You_," I huff out slamming my fist against the wall mere inches beside Gary's head.

"I didn't do this for me. I did this because I was tired and fed up with watching Stan and Kyle rip each other apart and dividing everyone up. I was _tired _of having to pretend that it was okay and normal that those two_ hated _each other because as much as I talk shit about their relationship I realized that they were the glue that held our group together.

I did it because I remember the look in Kyle's eyes when he cried to me, even months after, and how Stan went absolutely incognito emotionally wise and even Wendy couldn't get through to him. And because of all the secret longing looks they give each when they think no one is paying attention... I never seen those two so broken up and never have _I_ felt the urge to truly fix something in my life when it didn't even directly concern me."

Yes, everything could have gone on the same, but even I'm not that much of a douche to let fifteen years of friendship go down the drain. If those idiots wouldn't make any moves to make amends then I would._ I_ set up the fight, _I_ convinced Garrison to pair them for an assignment and it wasn't hard seeing as how I'm not the only one who was sick of tip toeing around a frickin' mine field, _I_ convinced Stan that Wendy cheated, and I played all my moves right by observing and moving quietly.

My breathing is labored after my rant as I glare at Gary, hoping I don't do something crazy to him. I'm no Craig when I'm angry, but my emotions tend to make me insane. And I admittedly don't want to hurt him. I'll admit that I have become used to his presence…

"I'm not trying to hurt you," I say slowly, trying to calm my rage. "I don't want to do that, but stop pushing me to do so. I'm not going to so just stop it."

I finally stop talking, the silence ringing in my ears. Gary continues to stare back, face hard and I almost throw my hands up at the fact that I'm not going to get through to him. "Just stop," His voice cracks, but I don't dare look away. "You're supposed to be mad at me. I want you to be mad at me."

"Why?" Gary doesn't answer and instead his stone exterior breaks into a waterfall of tears that begin to cascade down his red cheeks. And I don't know what to do to make him stop crying, but I just _really_ need him to. He is always so happy and now that I've made him cry I honestly feel like shit.

Feeling like it's the only way he's ever gonna stop I hesitantly wrap my arms around him. He automatically grabs me back and cries even harder. Why isn't this working? It seemed to always work when I seen other people do it or when Wendy or my mom cried. I begin to doubt having come over in the first place as I listen to Gary cry.

"Don't cry, please stop crying," I say and after a couple moments his cries lessen as if he's listening to whatever I'm mumbling. I continue, hoping he will stop completely, "You're okay, it's going to okay. I don't hate you, who could hate you?" When Gary finally stops crying I'm relieved.

"I'm sorry I got your shirt wet," He apologizes and I sigh.

"I don't care about the shirt," I say despite the fact that I just bought this shirt _Wednesday_.

"I sorry I was mean to you, even though you kind of deserve it."

"Hey," I say slowly, offended, but he pretends to not care as he speaks.

"So, do you still want to hang out here?" He asks and I honestly need to do something else with my life, but as I nod Gary continues, "I have other things to do," I glare at the smirk that graces his lips.

"What is better than hanging out with me? I'm like insta-famous or whatever."

"Sex," He replies shamelessly causing me to roll my eyes.

"Really? Crying gets you off?"

"No-just leave. I'm_ insatiable_ and you're clearly not my type." Now he's just being dramatic.

"Then what is your type?" The words fleet from my mouth before I could stop them, but I refuse to make moves to retract them.

"Someone who can keep up with me."

"Please," I snort. Yeah, I get that he's rolling in the many girls and guys that like him, but he's no sex god. I purse my lips at him, the cockiness of his words does nothing to describe the arrogant expression on his face.

"It's true. I can prove it."

"How?" I taunt. He doesn't have the guts to pull this through. We stare at each other, trying to figure the other out and after a long and tense moment passes nothing occurs. I smile confident. I knew he was too bitch to do anything, he flirts with me and taunts me constantly and this is all-

My eyes widen in shock as Gary presses his mouth against mine. He kisses me slowly and I refuse to melt, but...as he prys my lips open with his pink tongue I make the firm decision….to let him do whatever he pleases.

His tongue rubs against mine begging me to play and I lick the roof of his mouth in answer. Eventually I feel Gary pushing me back in an unknown direction until I until I feel the cold metal doorknob digging into my back. What was once a simple kiss escalates to something much more sinful as he continues to pry more and more out of me, our tongues tangling in a furious battle for dominance.

Gripping Gary's blonde hair I finally pry our lips apart only for him to dive in once more leaving me pliant against him. When Gary pulls back he breaks out into small chuckles that feel like feathers against my lips.

He opens the front door of his house, and pushes against my chest gently until I'm standing on the welcome mat, "Don't ever tempt a wolf."


	29. Not Everything is What it Seems

Not Everything is What it Seems

* * *

"Have you...noticed anything different about Garrison lately?" At this, I flick my eyes over to Craig in curiosity. Taking in Mr. Garrison's dopey expression right now it's obvious that something's up.

"Yeah, he looks," Dare I say it. "Happy." We both stare as Mr. Garrison as he ignores our homeroom class, fully interested with his cell phone. The class is practically doing all sorts of weird and wrong doing (as usual), but he doesn't seem to care about it.

"Anyway," I hear Craig say and I return my attention to his grey-blue orbs. "You wanna hang today?" I think about this. Fuck yes, I do! I open my mouth to agree, but I instantly close it remembering the phone call I received earlier this morning from my boss Sam about covering Mandy's shift today.

"As much as I would love to endure more of your sexual advances, I already agreed to cover someone's shift today at work."

"You suck, you know that right?" At this, I continue to stare at Craig with a small permanent smile. If only, he knew…

"No worries," I say instead throwing my arm across his shoulders and squeezing him against me tightly,

"You'll do fine without me...just this one time." Craig pushes my head with a small smirk before scampering off to Kyle.

I smile instantly fades as I make eye contact with Kyle. I've been avoiding him like the plague for the past few weeks and I think he's pretty much picked up on it. I advert my eyes away not wanting to give him any sort of motivation to invite himself over. My eyes flicker over to Stan sitting at his desk a few rows away chatting to Clyde, Token, and Jimmy about something. He looks up for a moment and he notices me staring we share a small smile before he looks away again. With a sigh, I take to staring into space.

Lately, I've been trying to drown myself more and more into my work and Craig, who's been practically attached to my hip. He's no longer brooding over Tweek, but I can tell that the frustration and sadness still lingers. Just a few days ago a Beyonce song played while we were in his car smoking a generous amount of weed he just got before his dealer went out of town for the week and we ended up talking about how much Tweek loved that particular song.

It didn't last long, but just knowing that something as small as a random song on the radio had that effect was telling. I don't mind because I rather listen to someone else talk about their feelings than talk about mine. I'm so scattered lately and weirdly enough Craig continues to put up with my avoidance and lack of...anything really. Well, that's the way I see it anyway. When the bell finally rings, signalling the end of homeroom I quickly grab my notebooks and head to class.

**(*)**

* * *

Tying my hair up in a ponytail and try to do something to pass the time as I sit in the grey faded office like chair settled at the makeshift front desk of the auto shop. I take to glaring at the computer screen in front of me skimming my Instagram and Twitter and hell even Facebook.

I'm bored and wish I could be in the back getting my hands dirty, listening to Sam tell me some strange story about when he was my age. In the meantime, I guess I'll just reply to...girl69outerspace on Instagram about the picture I posted a few hours ago. I even changed the filter to black and white to express how moody I'm being. Ha. My face continues to look unimpressed and impassive as I tap out a reply to her and a few more choice people.

"Do you work here?" I finish my typing and click a few times, scrolling down the page.

"This is the front desk and I am seated here. So yes, I work here," I reply before letting my eyes flit over the computer screen and instantly freezing. Coach Mick raises his eyebrows in a knowing way.

"What's up Coach Mick?" I say innocently and Coach Mick just grins.

"Hey Kenny, I'm good. Is Sam in?"

"Yeah, um, he's in the back working on a car, but I can go and see if he can meet with you really quick?"

"That's alright, I'll wait."

"You sure? I can try to ring him if you want?"

"That'd be great."

I pick up the black phone resting on the large granite desk and dial a handful of memorized digits before pressing one of the labeled buttons. As the sound of continuous ringing envelopes my ears I try to pretend that I don't notice Coach Mick nodding along to the explicit lyrics of 2 phones. When the ringing finally stops Sam's voice echoes in the receiver.

"Yeah Ken, this better be good, Lance and April need my help."

"You have a visitor at the front." It's quiet on the other end for a second and all my ears register is the sound of papers rustling before Sam speaks again.

"This better not be one of those jokes you kids tend to play."

I lean back in the comfy chair, "I give you my word it's not."

"Alright," Is all Sam says before the call ends and I hang the phone up with a satisfying clink.

I glance at Coach Mick and he's still bobbing along to the rap music playing through the shop's speakers as he sits on the comfy waiting bench across from me. "He'll be here in a sec. Can I get you anything?" I ask and he glances up at me.

"No, I'm fine."

"Cool." I turn my attention back to the computer screen clicking on all my new notifications.

"Hey, Kenny?"

"Yup?"

"You alright there?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"

"You just seem...heavily distracted."

"I'm good."

"Really," Coach Mick says and it sounds so skeptical like he knows I'm completely bullshitting him. I nod slowly before replying.

"Yup."

"What are your future plans after school ends," Coach asks and I try not to let on how irritated I slightly am by that question.

"I don't know. I'm kind of just trying to focus on what's going on now. Live now think later, right?"

"Yeah, I hear you. I just don't believe you hadn't, at least, thought about it?" He continues to pry.

"Well, of course, I've thought about it, but nothing really sticks out to me."

"Hmm, nothing? You're a smart boy Kenny, you'll settle on something surely."

"Maybe," I say indecisively, "I'm thinkin' of skipping out on college, though. I mean I've got a good job and I bet I can make a living like this."

Coach snorts and my eye lift from the computer screen to focus on him as continues to do whatever on his large phone. "And why would you do that? Look," He looks up from his phone, "You're smart enough to go. You have the potential-"

"Not to be rude, but can I ask why're you telling me this?" I fully direct my attention on Coach Mick and he finally looks up from the phone in his massive hands. "I don't play a sport, I'm not any sort of club so how would you even-why do you even care?" I ask sounding a bit bitter even to my own ears.

"Just because you don't do all of those things doesn't mean I'm not lookin' out for you. I've come to the conclusion a long time ago that what people say is hardly what things really are. You prove that. For example, you have straight A's in most of your courses especially in your math and science classes, but I don't have to tell you what most people in the school say. Or even what you'll say about yourself." I'm silent and a little stunned (okay more than a little). I've never bragged about my grades, I usually trash my report cards just to keep people from asking, so how does he know all of this?

"Don't play me for a fool Kenny. You don't have to dumb yourself down for other people's sake and you don't have to pretend like nothing's bothering you. That being scared of what people think doesn't bother you, it's normal."

"Easy for you to say you don't seem to be afraid of what people think," I mumble hinting at the fact that he just switched my frame of mind about him completely. "I honestly thought you were just a huge super-jock."

"Like I said not everything is what people say. And not everything is what it seems."

And in complete cliche fashion, Sam finally makes his appearance, scaring the shit out of me as he clamps his thick meaty hands on my shoulders in greeting. He laughs at having succeeded in scaring the fuck out of me as he walks around the large desk.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Sam says greeting Coach Mick. His words contrast greatly to the huge smile on his face as he envelopes Coach into a hearty hug.

"Is that any way to greet your brother?" Brother? My eyes widen at that as they both release each other and begin talking about something I can barely even register over thoughts rapidly swarming through my head. I look at both of them and I feel my blood run cold. It's there. I don't know how I didn't notice it before, but the resemblance is fucking shocking.

"You two are-"

"Twins," Coach Mick says finishing my thought as they both face me,

"Yeah," I agree, throwing my hands up in slight awe.

It's weird the more I look at them both, Coach has sort of a frat boy meets 'I'm a living and functional adult' look. Whereas Sam has more of a laid back meets renegade look considering the words 'Fuck off' written in huge white block letters on his black shirt and dark distressed jeans.

Eventually, I return my attention back to the black computer screen, moving the mouse around to wake it up. I begin scrolling down my Twitter page to not seem as if I'm obviously listening in to what they're talking about.

"-Well, I guess I can spare a few minutes to talk. You still up for dinner tonight though?"

"Always. Same place, as usual, I'd never blow you off."

"Same," Sam snarks to which Coach rolls his eyes, but I can still see how fond he is of his twin, "Plus you skipped out on our rematch down at the gym Saturday."

"I saved you from embarrassment. Plus I had arrangements."

"Was it that Kayla girl you brought over to mom's last Sunday?"

"No."

"Really? Then who?" I try not to laugh as Coach mumbles something I can't hear but causes Sam to burst into laughter.

"Fuck off, are you serious?"

"Don't be an asshole, Sam."

"I'm not, I'm not. Just, really? Candice?" Sam's body racks with laughter, he even wipes small tears from the ends of his eyes, "Okay. I support your decision."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, just wanted to see you and drop this off," Coach picks up a bag and Sam takes it greedily.

"Thanks, man. Now, I gotta get back to work, something just doesn't feel right to leave Lance and April alone together," Sam says giving me a wink.

"Hey, don't wink at 'em, he's just a boy!" Coach says in a fake country accent.

"Yeah, well Kenny here is my buddy, he knows a lot." The sound of something crashing in the back echos followed by the loud screech of "You idiot!" Most likely coming from April directed at Lance.

"God," Sam says stressing the word. Coach's phone chimes loudly and Sam smirks, "Well duty calls," He claps his twin on the shoulder before leaving the lobby. I'm surprisingly able to contain my laughter at the look on Coach's face.

"Is it like this every day?"

"Yeah, pretty much," I say shrugging impishly.

"Anyway, I'm gonna run, but don't forget what we talked about Kenny and," Coach pauses at the desk,

"And if you need some advice you can always come talk to me." I nod at the genuineness in his voice and he leaves out of the large glass double doors.

**(*)**

* * *

I gotta do it. It's eating me alive just thinking about it. I look in the rear view mirror at the offending object in the backseat of my car and with one final sigh I look away. I park my car across the street under a busted lamp post and wait. I don't know how this will turn out, but I have to get rid of this thing. I turn on my phone after having it off for the majority of the day and instantly notifications pop up on my phone and in the process of reading through them, one stands out to me intensely.

_From: Kyle_

'_Can we meet up to talk?'_

I agree we do. I grab the object next to me and exit my car, letting the door thump closed behind me, I make my way to the edge of the yard in front of me. The sun is setting right now and I really want to just get this over with. Finally, the door opens and he hasn't seen me yet, but as soon as he does he freezes, his green flittering over my frame.

"What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing Kyle," I comment making my way up Stan's driveway and towards him. "I think you forgot something a few weeks back," I throw Kyle's leather jacket at him. His eyes widen with shock before instantly morphing into a hard coolness.

"So what now? What do you want?" Kyle asks completely composed and it just irks me.

"You tell me. Look, you're one of my best friends okay, but," I stop trying to keep my own composure,

"Don't do this, don't-"

"Do what?" He asks nonchalantly.

"Don't fuck Stan over. I know you've got some sort of plan or game running and I'm asking you to put a stop to it." Kyle doesn't say anything, he just continues to stare at me with indifference, but I know from experience that Kyle's anger tend to be very unexpected. "You've hurt him before and things seem to be good between you two now, but…"

"What about what Stan's done to me? That's all I ever hear, that it's _me_ that fucked things up, that everything is always _my_ fault."

"That's not true," I try to say, but it doesn't seem to faze Kyle

"No, it is," I say nothing to this and I ultimately feel like shit for it. Kyle just nods as if accepting my silence as agreement. "You know what, whatever I do is none of your concern."

Kyle tries to pass me, but I catch his forearm in my grip, halting him, "It is when it concerns Stan. Stop it, Kyle, stop this scheme," He snatches his arm from my grip.

"Don't tell me what to do. Anything Stan gets he deserves... he wasn't the only one was hurt." Kyle's shoulder shoves into me hard as he make his way down the street to his parked car and speeding away. I walk back to my car and waste no time in pulling off.

Even as I speed through the streets of downtown South Park with no set destination in place I grit my teeth, Kyle's words playing on replay in my head. The only thing that sticks out to me in my anger-induced thoughts is that I have to do something about this. I have to stop whatever revenge plot Kyle has set into place.


	30. Warm

Warm

* * *

I grit my teeth in irritation as I continue to watch Wendy talking to her friends. If there is one thing I've learned about girls, it is that they love to talk. And seeing as how I've been waiting for about thirty minutes while leaning against the janitorial closet I'm more than a tad annoyed at this. Although as much as it annoys me I need someone to talk to that won't laugh or make fun of how I feel right now.

When Heidi finally walks the fuck away I straighten up to make my way towards the brunette, but her blonde best friend quickly makes her appearance, and I'm once again forced to pretend that I'm all too consumed with my phone. Five minutes of staring blankly at my phone pass before I decide to see what the two girls could be chatting about only the two girls are no longer standing there. The hall is near empty with only a guy yanking at his locker and a girl hopelessly trying to make it to class before the late bell.

I head out of the side door of the school, not caring if I'm late for homeroom, but to my surprise, I'm met with the impressive sight of the brunette I was looking for making out with Bebe. I watch for a moment, and the two still haven't noticed my presence apparently too busy snogging the life out of each other. Clearing my throat loudly both girls jerk their heads up. It's a funny sight considering Wendy's bashful and embarrassed expression at being caught lip-locking it with her best friend whereas Bebe rolls her eyes and looks more annoyed at being interrupted.

I chuckle at this and Wendy continues to grow bright and look to Bebe in question on how to go about being caught. Bebe's face instantly contorts to one of outrage and shock before asking, "What are you doing here? You're spying on us, y-you perv!" Now I'm rolling my eyes.

"Really Bebe," Is all I say. She continues to glare at me, but I know it's half-hearted. My attention drags over to Wendy, who's found her composure.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" She says with a sigh, and I continue to stare at her.

"I hope you don't expect us to talk in front of your girlfriend."

"What's there to hide Eric," Bebe jokes before untangling her arm from Wendy's and moving past me her cream colored boots crunching in the snow that litter the ground. When Bebe has finally gone back inside of the school, and the door clicks loudly behind her, I refocus my attention on Wendy.

"Okay," Wendy starts walking over to one of the large stone blocks littered on the school property and sits down, patting the spot next to her for me to join her, "What's this about Eric?" She asks and I try to find the words as she continues speaking.

"I'm actually glad you wanted to talk. You've been really spaced out in the office lately and in class as of late. And less… let's just say yourself."

"So, you were worried?"

"Maybe," Is all Wendy says before taking a deep breath and releasing it into the cold air. "You just seem zoned out."

"I had sex," I blurt out stupidly and immediately regret it. That didn't come out right.

Wendy's eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, "Um, what?" She coughs out.

"That came out wrong. I mean...I hooked up with a boy. For the first time."

"Okay-"

"It was Gary."

"Harrison?" Wendy asks in surprise, and I nod, closing my eyes only to open them quickly, in fear of seeing the moments I've tried so hard to erase, but I'm pretty sure they are burned into my mind by this point. "Did you like it?" Wendy asks after a beat. I clench my eyes shut at that.

"Maybe. Kinda, I guess," I mumble noncommittally.

"So how do you feel about him?" Wendy asks, and I think about this. My feelings are all over the place, and I can't seem to settle on just one. My mind instantly takes me back to a few days ago.

* * *

…

"Knock, knock, knock is anyone home?" Disgruntled immensely at this annoying little freak who continues to pound at my door while simultaneously harassing me I finally decide to get off my ass to answer it. I open the door wordlessly and motion for Gary to sit anywhere and he sits next to me. Of fucking course.

I don't say anything, not really too bothered as I would hope. Gary removes his white coat and throws it over the back of the sofa. Moments later I feel sock covered feet touching my bare ones.

"Why aren't you wearing any socks, Eric? You're gonna catch a cold, and we don't need that do we?"

I try to ignore his insistent feet tickling mine, "The heat is on smart alec."

"Alec, I like that name. Maybe it's because I fucked a guy named Alec before or was it Alex, Andy, Asher?"

"You can't be bothered to remember the name of the people you fuck?" I comment, eyes still focused on whatever Terrance just said to Philip before promptly jumping off a roof and promptly farting in his face. I don't even know why I bother with Gary anymore. He's an extreme man-whore and seemed to have lost all types of fucks a long, long time ago. It doesn't help that he's too fucking charming for his own good.

Gary's foot travels up my calf, and I try to ignore it, hoping he'll eventually stop or grow tired of trying to rile me up. He doesn't, and I question why I even thought that he would. I shiver as he pushes his foot hard against mine.

"Are you done assaulting me with your foot?" I glare at him, and he does nothing, but shoot me a cheeky smile before looking back down at his phone.

Minutes pass, and eventually my Terrance and Phillip episode ends, and I let my eyes wander back over to Gary, who has managed to keep his feet to himself and is texting furiously on his phone. I take in how smooth and blemish free his face looks in the light emitting his rose gold colored iPhone, it illuminates each contour.

Even his lips seem much redder and plump like this as they contort in a small frown at whatever it is he's staring so intently at on his phone as his fingers continue to glide over the screen. Gosh, I feel like such a pussy right now. I need to man up. Here I am ogling the guy who has made it his mission to annoy me since the day I decided to speak to him during detention and admiring how admittedly hot he looks.

Reluctantly I think about the how those red lips of his felt against mine. I had never been kissed like that before with so much fervor and a raging desperation only for it to end too quickly for my liking.

"Can I help you?" I see Gary's lips moving, but it only registers in my head that he's talking to me. I scoff, and this does nothing, but erupt a small chuckle from him.

"What are you doing anyway? Someone more important than me?"

"Never," Gary says appalled. "You're so important to me; you know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say, "I think you're secretly using me as your own personal portable heater," I grumble and secretly hating how pouty I sound.

"You want my attention," Gary acknowledges as he continues to text whoever.

"No. Course not," I scoff. "You didn't come over to my house to hangout with me. You just came to use my wifi to do whatever."

"Please," Gary scoffs, "I have wifi. I didn't need to come all the way over here to use your crappy wifi."

"Pardon?" Clearly I heard him wrong. My wifi is anything but crappy.

"You heard me," Gary taunts, "Now stop being such a baby."

"It's fine. Continue, by all means to chat up your next fuck." Gary doesn't say anything to this and instead continues to text, and I tune back into the another episode of Terrance and Phillip. Moments later I feel arms envelop me from my side.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you."

"Why?"

"I think you need one."

"I don't. So you can stop now."

"I don't want to."

"Ugh," I sigh, and Gary squeezes me harder before letting me go with a regretful glint in his eyes.

"Fine," I say, giving up and Gary instantly takes me in his arms again. It's weird because he's like so slim and I'm much bulkier and made of more muscle, but he's really warm.

Moments pass, and Gary still hasn't let me go yet, but I'm not sure if I care anymore. He hasn't pulled out his phone, and I pretend I don't notice. The episode ends, and I feel him nosing at the side of my neck not so subtle in the least. Many questions are on the tip of my tongue as I face him, but they're immediately drowned out by the lustful look seeping through Gary's eyes. Not a moment later his lips are upon mine, and I close my eyes at the feel of his lips moving against mine.

I groan at the stinging in my bottom lip as he bites me like the savage he is. Fuck. He continues to fight me for dominance, and I revel in it, but once again it ends all too soon. Gary stares at me momentarily teeth gritted before standing and pulling me along with him.

Once we reach my room, I'm surprised by his strength as he pushes me on my back before reattaching our lips. His hands pull on the waistband of my drawstring sweatpants, and I lift my hips letting him slide the offending fabric off, along with my boxers and shirt hitting the floor with a small thump.

When we detach our mouths again, I take in a lungful of air, keeping eye contact with Gary. I sit up and slowly remove my shirt too distracted by the smooth, creamy expanse of skin exposed to me as Gary strips away all pieces of clothing until he's standing in front of me, member hard.

I'm a bit in shock and slightly consumed with worry at the size of him and the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. Gary chuckles, a smirk curling his lips before he reaches forward and guides my hand to his cock. Slick with pre-come I let him guide my hand up and down his member before I establish a steady rhythm, twisting at the tip and focusing on the small cute groans he gives out.

Once this becomes too much for him, he pulls my hand away and bends down kissing me hard on the lips, patting me on the hip he whispers in my ear, "Get on your hands and knees for me." I close my eyes after he pulls away, heat rising to my cheeks. '_I can't believe I'm doing this_' I think as I comply.

Once I'm turned around I feel Gary's hands gliding down my back, cupping my butt in his soft hands before giving me a harsh slap on my right ass cheek.

"Told you not to tease me," He spanks my left cheek harder, "Are you going to tease me now?" Another slap echoes in the quiet room and I finally find my voice at the harsh sting on both of my ass cheeks.

"No. I won't."

"Great, stay still." God, who knew Gary was so dominant in bed? As Gary walks past me in search for my lube, I can't help but stare at his naked cute perky ass, wanting to bury my hard on inside of it.

Gary slams one of my drawers closed with a huff before looking down at me, tossing the halfway gone bottle of lube in his hands. "Thinking about fucking me? Tough shit. You're gonna be a good boy and wait."

Gary returns to his spot behind me, and I hide my face in my sheets as Gary pulls my globes apart. I feel something wet prod at my hole, and I moan at the foreign feeling, hips rising.

"Relax, love,'' Gary says holding my hips in place.

"I can't."

"You can and you will," Gary hisses, grabbing my hair tightly before releasing it.

"O-okay," I say, giving up.

I quickly take notice that it's Gary's tongue licking along my rim and occasionally diving in, driving me insane. My hole feels as though it's leaking at this point before Gary decides to slowly thrust a finger inside of me. I try to stay still as not to be punished in some way by Gary, but it becomes difficult as he continues to thrust his digit inside of me and eventually adding more.

I hide my moans and groans in the sheets, grip never easing up as he continues to fuck me with his fingers. My eyes water at the feel, and I have never felt so good! I moan embarrassingly loud as he hits a bundle of nerves inside of me that makes literal tears fall from the corner of my eyes.

Soon his fingers leave me, and he pinches my hip, "Good boy," Gary whispers in my ear and an unfamiliar warmth overcomes me at this. I hear the sound of foil, and I turn my head to the side to see Gary slicking his condom-wrapped hard on up before unceremoniously guiding himself inside of me. Once he's sheathed inside of me, his hips stop, and I adjust to his size.

"You can, um, go now," I utter out and not a second later Gary begins to thrust inside of me, building a steady rhythm. Gary's thrusts eventually speed up as he becomes more carried away, his drawn out moans and groans in my ear driving me crazy. He finds the bundle of nerves inside of me once again, and I moan helplessly and try to hide it by burying my face in my sheets again.

"Oh, no," Gary grabs my hair in his fist again and pulls me up. I groan at the feel of how hard he's thrusting inside of me, "I want to hear you. Ever since I first met you, you've always had a big mouth, don't get shy now." Gary pounds my bundle of nerves relentlessly, and I sob at the feel and moan at how...amazing he feels inside of me. I reach my hand between me and grasp myself in my palm and quickly try to get off, my hard on begging for relief. Immediately Gary removes my hand, and I almost cry at that.

"No, you're going to come from my cock." Gary proceeds to fuck me speechless, and I barely register spilling my release onto my bed sheets. "Fuck you're so tight," Gary says before thrusting inside of me once more and stilling inside of me. I marvel in the feel of him spilling inside of the condom inside of me.

Gary rides his orgasm out before pulling out. He ties his condom off and throws it in the bin next to my desk and removes another one from his jeans pocket before flopping down next to me.

"Fuck me," Is all he says and I stare in confusion trying to contain my breathing. He thrusts the foil package out in front of me, and I grab it. "Wait," Gary says halting my already sluggish movements from having the shit fucked out of me.

He smiles and pulls my face closer, kissing me deeply, and I can't even begin to think what this may mean. Even as I have Gary moaning and writhing underneath me, all I can want is to be able to feel like this again. To feel this overwhelming sense of being alive.

…

* * *

"Wow, I mean _wow_!" Wendy says as I retell the censored version of my recent experience. "So, what does this mean for you both?" She asks pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? From what you just said, you enjoyed what you both did together."

"And?" I sigh before continuing, "Look, Wendy, I know in your head you think we are going confess our 'feelings' for each other and somehow become a loving and respectable couple." Wendy stares at me with an obvious look like 'well, yeah' as if it's that simple. "It's not going to happen. It's been almost a week now, and nothing's changed other than-"

"Other than what?" Wendy asks impatiently, sitting on the edge of the stone block.

"That we may or may not occasionally hook up."

"Right...maybe you both should just talk about whatever this is that you both have going on."

"What is there to talk about, it's just sex."

"Fine. Even though I secretly think you do feel something for Gary despite his...ways."

"If by 'ways' you mean being a big man-whore."

"Yeah, plus isn't it strange that he continues to hook up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've never seen Gary with the same person more than once, twice if you're lucky. You have to be special to him." Wendy stands and I follow.

"Well, what about you?"

"What about me?" Wendy asks cluelessly.

"You're boning Bebe now. How'd that come about."

"I don't know really. It just happened, and I liked it."

"Was it weird?"

"At first, because I had never been with a girl before, but then I realized that it was just Bebe. She's my best friend and it just-"

"Felt right," I find myself finishing for her.

"Yeah," Wendy murmurs. "I'm glad you came to me, Eric. That somehow you trusted me enough to share all of this with me, considering our past."

"Oh, don't grow sappy on me. Plus, I know that you wouldn't rat on me because your moral code is too high to ever commit such an act." I stand and follow Wendy back inside the school, the intensity of our conversation fading into the coldness behind us.

* * *

"I don't think I can watch another episode of this," I hear Red say as she quickly turns the TV to a random cartoon. I burst into laughter at this.

"You're the one who wanted to watch the Hoarders marathon. And why is SpongeBob on at this time of night?"

"Toke, why do you listen to me?" Red says her expression seriously. " That was obviously a horrible idea, and now I have to go to work and think whether or not I'm helping someone add to their collection of trash continue their hoarding ways," Red says before standing from the sofa, and I follow walking her to the front door.

Red slides on her red ugg boots and coat and wraps her silver scarf around her neck before opening the door. She envelops me in a hug, and I hug her back, rolling my eyes as she rocks us side to side before letting go.

"So, I'll see you Friday, probably, maybe?"

"I thought we were going hangout tomorrow?"

"Token," Red says sounding like a mother chiding her kid. "Why don't you hang out with Nichole, plus I'm going to pick up some extra shifts at work, and I have to help train new employees."

"You're trying to get rid of me?"

"No, just I feel like I'm keeping you from your girlfriend, and I don't want that."

"You make me seem like I'm avoiding her," Red shoots me a knowing look, and I sigh relenting. "Fine.

"See you later big head," Red says squeezing my arm.

As Red turn to leave, my heart gets caught in my throat.

"What are you guys doing!"

"I-It's not what it looks like!" I immediately stutter out. Fucking hell, I've never had a stuttering problem in my life why now? I stare at a wide-eyed Nichole as she looks between Red and me.

"Oh, it isn't?" She questions, "What are you doing here Red? Token is my boyfriend, mine, meaning he is off limits!" Nichole turns to me, "So this is what you've been doing when you've been complaining about copious amounts of homework?"

"Look, Nichole I was just leaving, nothing is going on. Token is tutoring me and-"

"And I'm supposed to believe that?" She asks incredulously.

"Yes, you are," I say to which Nicole just glares at me and Red just stands there uncomfortably before quickly making her way to her car.

"Don't defend her," Nichole rages.

"I'm not. We weren't doing anything; just...you have to trust me, Nichole. I love you and only you."

Nichole sighs and I'm internally proud that I've succeeded in calming her down. The last thing I need is for her to be angry with me. I love her and hate to see her becoming so riled up about me hanging out with Red. It's important that they get along seeing as how I don't plan to get rid of either anytime soon. "Do you trust me?" I ask looking her in her chocolate eyes.

"Yes, I trust you," Nichole says, and I wrap my arms around her. "I just kind of freaked out. I'm sorry. And now I feel like a right lunatic; I'm going to apologize to Red tomorrow."

"It's okay; she will understand."

"No, I shouldn't have approached the situation like that. I should have asked instead of assuming that she was screwing my boyfriend. Stupid of me."

"You're far from stupid. Now," I kiss her forehead, "what do you want to do?"

"I wanted to invite you to dinner with my parents."

"That's great!" I say with a false smile; I've long perfected. It's not that I don't mind having dinner with her parents, Nichole's mom is very kind and generous, but her dad is very scrutinizing, to say the least.

He's constantly asking us about the future, and I always have to pretend that it doesn't grate on my nerves, even my parents don't hound me as much. Despite Nichole's disagreement, I think her dad will never genuinely like me, and that he doesn't think I'm good enough to be with his daughter.

Nichole mentions my accomplishments and how hard I work and how much I care about her, but it seems to go in one ear and directly out of the other. I wouldn't be surprised if he's made a list of all the 'suitable' boyfriends that Nichole should date, but I wouldn't dare give him the satisfaction.

* * *

**Hi~ I just wanted say thank you to everyone that reads this story, has stuck along all this time and to my reviewers, you all are so sweet and just awesome! I hope you enjoyed this crazy-fabulous chapter.**

**~Lots of Love, T.**


	31. Surprise

Surprise

* * *

Gorgeous. Even in his sleep he looks perfect. I stare at him a few moments more before forcing myself to look away, pushing myself onto my elbows only to stop once I feel a hand squeezing my forearm. Looking beside me I'm met with a sleepy smile from Stan before pushing himself up as well, he kisses me and despite the fact that we both have morning breath I kiss back.

"Morning," I say against his lips and he smiles at that.

"Morning Ky. Where were you going?"

"To the bathroom, to get ready for school." Stan sits up a bit properly at that, his dazed expression fading a bit.

"Yeah, school," Stan agrees, but he has this look on his face that looks a little unenthused at this thought, he it pushes away quickly and it's replaced by a more neutral look. I ruffle his wild hair and he kisses my bare shoulder and I hate how much I love it.

I finally peel myself out of bed and surprisingly Stan follows right behind me to the bathroom. Once inside Stan immediately turns toward the spacious shower and turns it on as I head to the double sink and check my reflection out in the mirror. The night before shows in my reflection and I'm admittedly a bit smug. I love the way I look actually, but I love Stan's more as I notice him standing behind me collecting a couple of clean towels and washcloths.

With a yawn I open the mirror and reach inside for my hidden green toothbrush, but my eye catches on a half full small white capped bottle. I turn the bottle around in my fingers to read the label. It's Stan's of course seeing as he's the only one that really uses this bathroom, everyone else has a en-suite. My eyes barely flit over the words _**Temazepam: used to treat insomnia, utilize 7.5 to 30 mg orally before bedtime **_before arms envelop me from behind.

"The shower is ready," Stan says snuggling into my shoulder and I place the bottle where it belongs before swiftly closing the mirror and turning around.

"Who said you can shower with me?"

"So I have to ask?"

"Maybe, I don't let others shower with me."

"Please, we've seen each others junk before, even tasted them."

"Gross, what a filthy mouth you have Stanley." Stan rolls his eyes before grabbing his blue toothbrush from the toothbrush holder and begins to brush his teeth. I smile as I follow and have to push down the strong urge to bend him over the white granite countertop just to see his gorgeous blue eyes roll in a different manner.

"C'mon Ky, I promise, no funny business. Just in and out." I stare at Stan after we finish cleaning our mouths, wanting nothing more than to flat out decline, but his blue eyes, messy black hair that constantly falls in his eyes and the way he bites his lips, eyebrows scrunched together... "Fine," I say before swiftly stripping my boxers and throwing them in the clothes hamper and scampering into the shower, Stan following.

Stan keeps his promise and doesn't try to do anything as we wash thoroughly and he even helps me wash my hair with a bottle of my shampoo/conditioner that he thought smells good decided to keep. And to his complaint I wash his hair with his usual _delicious_ peppermint shampoo before getting out. I dry my hair before draping a fluffy blue towel around my waist as Stan removes a purple wide-tooth hair-dryer that I suspiciously think may belong to Shelly and proceeds to dry and style his hair as if he does this everyday.

As Stan continues I quietly pad out of the bathroom. Suddenly I hear a squeak and I instantly halt in my steps, leaning against the smooth wooden bathroom door but by the approaching sound of dog tags clinking I close my eyes and relax in relief, letting Sparky and Rover run past me and hobble down the hallway in a flurry.

"Hi, Kyle."

Instantly my eyes fly open and I'm now face to face with Sharon Marsh. From the look on her face I can see that I'm not the only one genuinely confused by the other's presence. My mouth opens and closes pathetically as I try to grasp for words to explain why I'm in her house, why I'm only wrapped in a towel and coming out her son's bathroom. Her brown eyebrows are raised in mild confusion and that's completely understandable _considering_ that everyone thinks we hate each other. Although, it's not so easy to explain how Stan and I have been secretly fucking around for almost a month.

"I didn't know you and Stanley were friends again?" Sharon says and I'm honestly surprised, I thought she would immediately demand that I tell her why I'm here.

"Yeah," I blurt out and I'm actually able to sound calm about this. "We've been friends for a...while now, but we just haven't told anyone. We are still working things out."

Sharon smiles brightly at me, "That's great Kyle, that you and Stan are working things out. And I promise I won't say a word," She makes a zipping motion with her fingers and I chuckle at this. Stan definitely gets his personality from her.

"Anywho, give me a hug. We haven't spoken since Shelia's last dinner party." I hug Sharon and it's nice to know that although Stan and I were practically declared mortal enemies that her and Randy continued to stay close to my family. "Is Stan awake?" Sharon asks as she lets me go.

"No, he's still asleep," I lie smoothly.

"That's odd," I'm confused by that, but I don't question it as she continues. "Well when he wakes tell him that I'm off and that I've picked up a late shift tonight at the hospital. And that if he has any problems that he should call Brad or Darren." I nod my understanding and we say our goodbyes before Sharon leaves and I don't move until the sound of the front door closing reach my ears.

I decide to check on the dynamic dog duo before changing and they surprisingly don't even notice me standing in the kitchen as they continue to drink and eat the food Sharon most likely set out for them in their bowls.

Content enough that they are okay I race upstairs and into the warm bedroom staring longingly at the even warmer bed. Stan is now lying on his back only dressed in a pair of batman boxer briefs and I sit beside him on top of the the duvet and gently push his perfectly styled fringe out of his face, cupping his cheek. I rub my thumb against his cheekbone trying to wake him up, "Stan. Stan, babe you have to wake up."

Stan groans as I continue to rub his face. I sigh not wanting to have to do this, but since we were kids this is the only way I've ever been able to wake him up. I lean forward and blow air into his ear before giving him a sloppy wet willy. Stan groans louder before finally turning onto his side.

"OhmygodIhateyou," he says, his words rushed together and I just laugh much to his annoyance as I stand and begin searching for a pair of my own boxers in his chest drawer.

"I had to, you wouldn't wake up," I say and Stan shoots me the evil eye. I mentally do a small cheer at having found my things in the second drawer.

"So you say. I've always hated when you guys did that," He says and I drop my towel, putting on a pair of grey and black boxer briefs before following Stan over to his closet.

"I am so looking forward to today."

"Why?" Stan asks as he slides into a pair ice blue zipper jeans and a black and white baseball tee.

"Let's just say I talked to coach about taking on more responsibility."

Stan looks at me, confusion etched on his face as I decide to wear a similar pair of zipper jeans in an off-black color with a white v-neck , "What do you mean? You're captain of the basketball and track teams."

"I am, I mean on other teams," I reply as I balance myself on the chest drawer, sliding on a pair of navy socks.

"That's sounds great," Stan says as he does the same before searching for a pair of shoes. I nod in agreement and slide on my black mid-calf combat boots. Once we're both dressed and our accessories are in place I decide to grab a zipperless black hoodie and quickly slide it on before leaving Stan's closet. I remember to tell Stan Sharon's message and we grab our phones, bags and keys before heading downstairs.

I walk over to the closet pantry and take out a few cherry poptarts for us and pop them in the toaster as Stan takes Sparky and Rover out for a walk. Once the pop tarts are done I wrap them in separate napkins before going to take out the large doggie litter box and refilling both dog's food and water bowls just in time for Stan to come back in through the back door.

We grab our hot poptarts, coats and gloves before saying goodbye to Sparky and Rover. Once we're standing at the door after pulling on my leather jacket I'm pulled into a warm hug by Stan and we both give promises that we will meet up later and suddenly I feel hesitant to even leave our small haven that we have somehow created. It feels like old times, and I hate it. I hate that I feel so good right now, and that I've finally gotten what I used to pray and scream about three years ago. Looking at Stan I see that same hesitancy and look in his eyes from this morning and I feel guilty. Willing away these thoughts I kiss Stan's neck lovingly before leaving out of the front door.

I jog to my house and stop in the driveway and notice that my dad scraped the snow and ice of my windshield. Quickly I enter my car, turn on the heat and head to school. As I slow to a stop at a red light I slide my phone out of my pocket and check my messages.

I briefly scan some of them noting certain things, I stop on a more recent message sent an hour ago before glancing up and noticing that it's a green light and blow my horn for the fuckers in front of me to just move. The light turns yellow and one car passes by before it turns red again and a chorus of horns sound in annoyance. I grip my steering wheel for a moment before letting go and reading my message.

'_I know what you've been up to.'_

My blood runs cold at this and I stare at my phone in shock before finally moving my fingers to dial a familiar number.

"Hi Kyle," He answers sounding like the overjoyed little shit he is.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I say, cutting straight to the chase.

"I see you got my little message," Gary says and I can hear the smugness in voice.

"What do you want?" I ask as the light turns green once again and I am now able to speed through.

"Oh, you know. A lil birdie told me that you have a new fuck buddy?"'

"And? "

"And? Is that all you have to say, fuckboy?"

"Gary, what do you want?" I ask exasperated, "You know I hate it when you beat around the bush."

"I hear it's not a girl, goes to our school, Captain of the football team, does this ring any bells?" He continues.

"Gary that's none of your business. What I do is none of your concern, so what is this phone call about?"

"How about, I don't know, that you're fucking Marsh again. Stan. fucking._ Marsh_. The guy who broke _your_ heart, who you _sworn_-"

"Just stop. I know this and frankly...I don't care."

"Oh, really?!"

"Yeah."

"Fuck if I believe that. Tell me this isn't real."

"What?" I stop at the entrance of the student parking lot.

"Tell me that you're just fucking with him. Please, just please Kyle," Gary whispers in the phone and I'm reminded of his soft whispers of reassurance in my ear when I would cry, when I would scream, and when we would fuck. "Ple-please," he begs and it hits me hard because I'm hurting him. I just _keep_ hurting him. I sigh giving in...I don't want to lie to him, I doubt I actually can... so I won't.

* * *

"Can you please stop smiling like an idiot."

"Sorry," I say to Token. "Just a really good morning is all."

"Good for you Stan. It's great to see you smilin' instead of sad all of the time," Butters says and I have to agree. It is good and it feels amazing.

I mean I woke up to the best face in the world, it's been about three years since I've seen Kyle's morning face and heard his morning voice and to say I'm milking it for all its worth is an understatement. I greet the people that walk past and even go as far as to wink at a few underclassmen who've been eyeing me since I walked in.

"Can you believe the rumor mill this morning?" Butters says as I tune back into what he and Token had been discussing.

"Ugh," Token says in disgust, "Garbage as usual."

"That bad?" I ask not sure if I really wanna know. I try to stem from that side of things as long as I can before someone comes running up to me blabbing about something I never did and said. At least ten percent of the rumors are true and even that can be considered a stretch. But then there are those rare moments of a little bit of truth. Strictly depending on who you talk to.

"Apparently Kyle is going out with a freshman named Melissa. Apparently they've been dating since September and agreed to keep it under wraps."

"Then how did it get out?"

"Apparently a mass text 'leaked' all the details all around the school."

"Also according to the rumors they're in love." Ha. Funny. "They've even been sleeping at each other's houses." _Very_ funny. Considering he's been literally sleeping with me every night for weeks now.

"You know if this keeps on the next thing the rumor mill will be spewing is that Melissa is somehow pregnant by Kyle." Scratch that, this is hilarious.

At Token's words a squeal is heard and we look beside us to see a group of girls looking as if we've just said something amazing. The tall brunette girl in the front speaks up after a moment of weird squealing, "Melissa. Is. Preggos?!"

"No that's not what I-" Toke tries, but the girls get too carried away with this information to let him explain before running off, phones latched into their hands as they send off false messages to their friends.

"Well, that was exciting," I say sarcastically before we all burst in laughter.

"I can't believe how thick they are," Butters laughs. "I sort of feel bad for all parties involved."

"Have you ever even seen this Mellissa girl anyway?"

"No, but they say she's hot," Token says.

"I've seen her once and she rocks that whole, I'm innocent vibe. Like, if we were in a TV show she would definitely be the girl that 'falls in love' with the unattainable guy and he dates her because she was somehow '_different_', doesn't know about his or either doesn't care."

"And somehow she's different from all the other girls because she doesn't '_care_' that he fucked about a thousand other people and even have all sorts of family drama."

We all laugh again and stop only at the sound of someone abruptly clearing their throats. We look beside us at a girl I'm sure I've seen before… "Stop talking about Melissa! What did Melissa ever do to you?"

There's a pause before I decide to ask the clueless girl, "Who're you?" This proves to make the girl even angrier.

"I'm Amanda. Melissa's best friend and since you're bound to find out anyway, I'm the one who hooked her and Kyle up, hell I was there when they first hooked up, so I know for sure that the rumors are real."

Me, Token and Butters look at each other in shock. In shock that this girl could be so clueless, even more on my part as I face the girl again, "So…"

"So? Is that all you have to say? I would've expected better from you, Mr. I'm-so-fucking-popular-I'm-fucking-two-girls-at-once."

"What?"

"You need to apologize for trash talking my friend!" Amanda screeches at me and by now I've noticed that we've caught the attention of the entire hallway-almost the entire school really. I try to take this girl seriously, but I honestly can't. I can't even take Mr. Mackey serious right now as he stands at the front doors with a bagel hanging out of his damn mouth.

"So you're the one who started those rumors and I bet you leaked those text messages about your 'friend' Mellissa too."

"So, what if I did?" Amanda asks hysterically. "You know what, you're just a right asshole. I should've known when I heard about you cheating on Wendy how much of a douche you are. You think you can just walk all over everyone, but guess what Stan Marsh, you can't! Now apologize."

"I'm not apologizing," I say calmly, I'm not about to lose my cool over some random chick who doesn't know what she's spewing about. "You don't even know me. Look, honestly I feel bad for you because you feel as if you have to spread rumors and have blowouts with people just so you can get attention. It's sad. Now, why don't you do yourself a favor and just walk away."

I turn away from the girl and she stomps her heels in frustration before leaving. It only takes a few moments before the attention on me disappears at the sound of something (most likely a body) hitting the hard tile floors down the hallway and various howls and loud sounds that signal a fight has broken out.

It doesn't last long before Mr. Mackey literally drops his bagel and intervenes. It's a tussle, and he has to dodge a few manicured fingernails and ring covered fists, but he finally breaks it up. Token and Butters give me a knowing look as we watch Mr. Mackey lead Mercedes, Porsche, and Lexus towards the principal office along with a frazzled Amanda.

"Just another fucking day at Park County High!" Arden, one of my best teammates on the swim team cheers loudly, causing others to join in.

"Wow, now that all of that _exciting_ stuff has ended can everyone focus their attention this way," Kyle says charmingly but of course his words are laced with sarcasm that causes me to try to suppress a laugh. Everyone turns their attention to Kyle who is holding up a clip-board.

"Seeing as we only have a few minutes until class starts I want to get this out of the way. Weeks ago I had you all pick a color out of a jar through various people and collected your colors and said it was for research purposes. It wasn't. It was to pick who you will rooming with during our senior class trip in a couple weeks."

Everyone in the senior class cheers loudly at that and only stop as the bell rings. "I'm going to post the results on the bulletin board with your color, roommate and group," Kyle turns around and post the various papers on the large board behind him before moving out of the way as people start coming forward to search for their name.

I can see the exact moment Kyle spots Token, Butters, and I before walking over, a proud grin set on his lips as he pulls his phone out and shows us the list on his phone. I can't help it as my lips curl in a smile that I suppress by biting my cheek. I'm rooming with Kyle and in a group with Kenny and Butters, this couldn't get better.

Token takes out his phone and taps out his rooming arrangements in his phone and Butters does the same. As they both look down at their phones I chance smiling at Kyle who only sticks his tongue out and crosses his eyes in return. Idiot. Kyle eventually moves along to show Cartman who just walked in his grouping arrangements.

"Fuck, you just had to give me the shitest group. I hate you Kyle," Cartman complains to which Kyle just outright laughs before escaping out of the side door as the warning bell rings and we all finally make moves to head to class.

* * *

As the heavy metal door falls shut behind me I take a deep breath of cold December air. It's cold, but it feels so so good right now. I walk over to my usual side of the school and am not in the least surprised to see Craig leaned against the brick wall of the school, cigarette resting in between his index and middle finger.

"Hey dude," I greet as I sidle up beside him and he looks at me as if startled out of a daydream before his small signature smiles curves his lips. He takes a drag from his cigarette and blows it out slowly.

"What's up?"

"Nothing just out here for air. And to show you this," I say handing him my phone.

Craig looks at the list of roommates and groups before handing it back, "Didn't know you were planning a trip. A few days out of South Park sounds nice," He says, and it's honest, but by the set of his jaw I can tell something is on his mind.

I don't push though and instead pull out my pack of cigarettes that luckily Kenny didn't throw out before chucking my jacket back at me. I slide the stick in my mouth as I search for my silver skull lighter.

"You don't mind if I smoke too?" I ask my words slightly muffled.

"It's a free country...at least that's what they want us to believe. But I didn't know you smoked cigs? Since when?"

"I don't."

"Ah, right. That's what they all say," Craig chuckles and I can feel his grey-blue eyes on me. "But I gotcha, I won't tell anyone."

Once I feel the cold metal against my fingers I quickly remove the lighter with relief. I immediately focus on lighting my cigarette before being unceremoniously pushed harshly against the brick wall behind me, the bricks biting into my back brutally

I stare at Craig completely shocked as he stares back impassively while holding me firmly in place. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be on the other side of this look. That his cold and dispassionate look would be directed at me.

"Craig what the fuck dude! Why are you-"

"Shut the fuck up." Craig says and I instantly stop, not wanting to push this insane fucker any further. I know this look and I be damned if Craig black the fuck out on me. "Where did you get that lighter?"

"Out of my jacket," I say slowly, I'm really confused as to what brought this on.

And as if taking in my appearance for the first time Craig, one of my closest friends, the guy who just sounded so lighthearted moments ago slams me against the wall almost rattling my skull. Fuck.

"So, it was you. What were you doing with Stan?" Craig asks and...seriously. What the fuck, dude. I should've fucking known that the only way Kenny could've got my jacket was through Craig.

I shouldn't _even_ been stupid enough to leave the party without my damn jacket, but my mind was so preoccupied by the bombshell Stan dropped on me. Funnily enough all I can think of in this moment is Damien's smile. The fucker, he knew.

"It's not what you think," I start and that does nothing, but cause Craig's eyes to narrow dangerously at me. "We were just talking, about what happened to us."

"And?"

"And…" I look quickly to the ground at my wasted cigarette, fingers itching for it. To say I'm uncomfortable right now is a big freaking understatement. I'm practically being forced to out myself, but even as I look at Craig pleadingly it's clear that shit is not going to work considering he doesn't even react to it.

There's no trace of the beautiful blue streaks in his swirling grey eyes and with a sigh I prepare to tell the truth or take one big fat L. I've seen Craig beat guys double his size to a pulp and I'd be no problem, if anything I'll catch a beating far worse because of how close we are. Swallowing my fucking ego for once I confess, "We made a mistake. Stan and I were...involved."

"Involved how?"

"We were together, we were in love," I add, and it feels like I've swallowed acid, having admitted that out loud to someone for the first time. Although, I do feel slightly braver to continue as Craig's eyes widened immensely. "We talked about it and things got really intense and we ended up tearing at each others faces." Craig stares at me in what I can only guess is shock as he tries to work his way through all of this. Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

"Since when?" Craig asks for the second time today and I suddenly feel like a huge douche for keeping him out of the loop of things along with everyone else. There's plenty of things people don't know. Craig's grip on me finally loosens and I reach my hand up to brush his cheek lightly, hoping to break him out of his stunned state.

"The summer before ninth grade."

"But you've fucked mostly girls Kyle."

"I like both," I say simply because it's true. Sexuality is so fluid.

"Wow, I mean...wow. I never even thought that there was a possibility that you liked guys."

"Surprise," I say and Craig just looks at me with permanent shock.

"But now that I know it makes a lot of fucking sense."

"What?"

"You and Stan were always ditching us to go work on some project you said you were working on in Randy's shed. You guys called it operation-"

"Woodwork," I laugh at Craig's face as realization kicks in. To this day I couldn't believe that actually worked and oh, is it rewarding.

"You dirty fuckers," He says, but a smirk quirks his lips as the tension between us evaporates.

"Like you have room to talk, I've literally seen a guy suck you off."

"Well, weren't you the curious fucker. Still interested?"

"Seeing someone get you off? Maybe," I agree completely serious.

"Who was it?"

"Jerry Erwin, with the pink and blue hair."

"Ooh, yeah I liked him. So did you and Stan-"

"Fuck on your bed? No, I honestly wanted to but a phone call sort of interrupted that."

"Sorry," Craig says not looking in the least apologetic. "So what are you two now?"

"We're together," I say, not really knowing if that's true or not...considering my circumstances, but the thought of Stan with someone else does not sit well with me. "And no one knows so you can deem yourself special."

"Of course I am," Craig scoffs before continuing. "So have you guys had sex?"

Craig leans on the wall beside me and it's odd how comfortable it is to talk to him about this and I'm clearly more than interested in this new side of our friendship. "Yeah, for weeks now."

"How is it?"

"It's honestly...amazing. Euphoric," I shiver at the memory of the night before.

"I always imagined sex with Stan would be awesome," Craig sighs wistfully.

"Been a while?" I ask teasingly.

"A long while. Well, for me. It's not that I don't want it I just haven't been able to really feel anything."

"It could be that you have created a mental block in your head and it causes sex to be unpleasurable for you. Your mental block is most likely caused by stress, rampant thoughts or memories."

"Even the dirtiest things that used to turn me on in bed don't work."

"Like what?" I ask curiously.

"Well, I have a whole journal of these things. I could let you borrow it sometime." And here I thought Kenny was the perverted one. Nah, he still is. I nod at Craig's offer and the bell rings signaling the end of homeroom. I stuff my lighter back in my jacket and we both make our way inside the school as a few students barrel outside.

"Hey," Craig whispers as he catches my forearm. His grey-blue eyes looking at me softly, "I'm happy for you, just... be careful."

"Yeah," I agree, my heart plummeting to my stomach as we walk to class. "Of course."

* * *

"Shut your pie hole Trev," Clyde says and the entire locker room erupts into laughter and howls.

"No seriously," Trevor persists, "It's gotta be, if the Earth was round then how come everything stands straight, everything would be curved. No, there is no way."

"There's no way that you're_ this_ thick-headed. The Earth is not flat."

"Who told you that anyway?" I ask as I lace my cleats up.

"Someone downtown told me."

"This 'someone' didn't happen to carry a shotgun in his large gas guzzler while wearing a large army hat and vest?"

"Yeah, you know 'em?"

Me, Clyde and a few other guys near us trade knowing looks before saying, "Jimbo."

"He sounded so smart though."

"Yeah, I wouldn't take the shit he told you about the Earth too literal."

I push my helmet under my arm just in time for Coach's routine bang on the door. I salute everyone before leaving out of the locker rooms and outside towards the track. I wait on the guys to shuffle out before we all do our stretches and warm ups.

Afterwards I pop my ear buds in before starting on our usual twenty laps. I give a short wave as I pass Coach and he nods before yelling at a couple guys to pick up their speeds. I pick up my speed as I let myself get lost in the music, The Face by Kings of Leon pushing me to go harder.

I feel someone match my pace and notice Clyde beside me as I finish my nineteenth lap. I pull one earbud out before Clyde speaks, "What do you think Coach wants to talk us about?" I pause, Coach did say he had something to talk to the team about before we went in to change for practice. "Maybe our next game against the Preston Wildcats, you know he hates the head coach over there."

"Probably, but they're not as bad as Archers," Clyde states and I chuckle at the thought Pears' face the last time we played against them. I'm looking forward to smoking him in my next swimming meet. We both quickly finish our last lap and Clyde sighs out loudly as we retrieve our water bottles by the bleachers.

"Hey Clyde, Stan!" The cheerleaders greet as they start they're stretches. I wave, my lips curving into a smile, taking another sip of my water as a few girls fan themselves dramatically before bursting in giggles.

"Hey ladies," Clyde greets smoothly (not), the girls fawn over it though as he continues to flirt with the cheerleaders. "You guys look amazing, _very_ flexible," More laughter erupts at that.

"_Bye_ Clyde," Bebe says nonchalantly as she stands up next to Wendy who is too focused on leading their fellow cheerleaders and gives him a hard pat on his back causing him to double over with a cough.

"Just complimenting you all."

"Yeah, yeah, bye. Or would you rather Coach Candice lead you away?" Clyde freezes at that as he notices a fairly short woman with golden brown skin, curly navy and silver ombre hair who similar to Coach Mick looks to be in their late twenties. She's dressed in a dark blue tracksuit with the words Coach adorned in silver glitter on the back, white shoes, and her signature black hat, drenched completely in red glitter that spells out the word Queen in cursive.

It's not that Coach Candice isn't nice, she's a super nice and caring person and unbelievably funny, seeing as along with Coach Mick she always spoils all clubs and teams with various treats and gifts. The only thing is that she's a big perfectionist.

"I hope you icky boys aren't bothering my princesses," Coach Candice says in lieu of greeting as she approaches her cheer team.

Before we can answer someone interrupts behind us,"Of course not. In fact they were just about to leave," Coach Mick says and quickly we place our blue water bottles on the bleachers, following coach.

"Hey, Donovan!" Coach Candice calls and Clyde turns around, walking backwards.

"Yeah?"

"You forgot your tongue," She says and the girls erupt in loud laugh, Coach snorts and I pat Clyde on the back, holding back laughter.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Clyde shouts back in reply.

"To you!"

Clyde actually chuckles at that before turning back around as we reach our teammates forming a half circle. Clyde and I squeeze in as Coach stands in front of us beside surprisingly Kyle.

We make eye contact for no longer than a moment, but it's enough to make me bite my lip at the sight of Kyle's signature cocky grin. Our linebacker Alec elbows me and I decide to listen in to what Coach is actually saying.

"-Kyle here took it upon himself to ask for extra training and I agreed not only to let him practice with our football team, but to assist me when needed."

"When is this effective?" I ask and all eyes flicker quickly to me and back to Coach.

"Today," Coach says. "Right now actually, seeing as I have an emergency meeting in a twenty minutes. So Kyle is going to continue practice for the duration of today." Everyone hums and nods in acknowledgment albeit skeptically before Coach hands Kyle his clipboard and departs.

"Okay, seeing as you all have completed your pre-warm ups and stretches we're going to start training with completing forty laps around the track.

We all make noises of complaints and someone even speaks up with annoyance, "But we've already ran twenty laps today. Coach doesn't usually-"

"Let's be clear," Kyle starts and he actually sounds a bit intimidating, "I am not Coach Mick. Now, you will run forty laps and I will ensure that you all receive proper training during Coach's absence.

With that being said we all begin our laps without another word. Around my thirtieth lap I really feel as if I can't run anymore so with a long drawn out breath I slow my pace to a light jog, letting a few guys pass me.

"Marsh!" Kyle calls and I slow down to a walk as I approach him.

"Yeah?" I ask trying not to let my voice waver from exhaustion and just from the effect Kyle has on me.

"You are slowing down, I need you to pick up your pace," Kyle states, eyes glued to his clipboard.

I roll my eyes, "C'mon, dude you're literally making us run like fifteen miles." I continue to look at Kyle but he's too busy not looking at me. The only assurance that he even heard me is the way he raises his eyebrows over his dark aviators. "We are exhausted. I think it'll be better if we move on to something else."

"I don't think so. We will move on when _I _say so." Kyle says briefly looking at me with an expression that suggests that my request was plain crappy.

Rolling my shoulders I mumble in clear irritation, "Whatever you say your fuckin' highness."

"That's an extra twenty laps. Be sure to let everyone else know." I growl at that before taking off in high speed just to get away from Kyle.

**(*)**

"Well, that took longer than expected. I see that most of you guys need to improve on your speed." No one says anything, too busy dousing ourselves in water despite the already freezing temperature outside.

If I wasn't so irate I could laugh at the way Clyde is completely laid out on his back on the track. "We are going to work on some drills," Kyle says looking down at his clipboard. "I'm going to split everyone in four groups so when I give you your number I want you to go to your designated station."

Kyle begins to count off each person and they stand and quickly bound over to their drill station. Kyle gives me the number two and I take my time walking over to my station next to a few other guys.

When everyone is finally counted off and are at their places Kyle speaks, "We are going to work in timed circuits to make sure every person gets a turn at each station." Every nods there compliance and

he proceeds to give us an example of each drill, starting with the zone chute start.

As I watch Kyle go through each drill I wouldn't be surprised if Kyle actually researched football drills and practiced them out before showing us, he's a dedicated perfectionist in everything that he does so why would this be any different.

I shift my weight onto my other foot in hopes of alleviating the stirring in my stomach at the way Kyle's fit body moves. It'll be a bad, bad, bad idea if I somehow popped a boner in the middle of practice, I'm relieved when Kyle finally finishes and lets us begin our drill circuit.

**(*)**

I feel like my legs are literally gonna fall off. Kyle was so freaking hard on us, I can't even believe he pushed us this hard. Fifteen miles may not be a lot to him seeing as he is a fast fucking runner, but my poor fucking legs can't take anymore.

I'm the fastest on the football team, being captain and all, and I could usually give Kyle a run for his money, but my new extracurricular activities have left me more exhausted than usual. God-

"Fuck, fuckin', fuck!" Kyle swears in my ear.

Speaking of my new 'extracurricular' activities my legs are on fire, but I don't dare tell Kyle to stop as he thrusts inside me from behind harder, and rougher.

"Kyle, Kyle, babe," I chant, my voice a bit hoarse from overuse. "Please." Kyle doesn't answer and I fruitlessly try to meet each and every brutal thrust. My sobs only increase as Kyle buries my head in my comforter, my body being pushed further and further up the bed.

I push my head to the side to get a glimpse of the way Kyle drills me into and I feel like I'm going spill as I remember the tight straps around my ankles holding both of them apart. "C-can't believe y-you took these," I stutter out, but it comes out more like a high pitched whine.

"He won't miss them. No one will even know they're gone," Kyle replies and gives a tight pull to the kbands used for the triangle drill Kyle had us do during practice.

This all started after our last circuit when I decided to take a quick break to chat with a few of my teammates only for Kyle to tell us off for slacking. And of course having had enough of Kyle being such a bossy bitch I refused which led to us getting to an all out dispute which ended in me being told to cool the fuck off by Trav.

* * *

**...**

I listened to Trav and as soon as practice ends and we all retreat back into the locker room to change. I decide to sit on one of the benches lining the brick walls in the locker room while listening to my music on full blast, nodding and waving in goodbye as my teammates clear out. When there are just a couple guys: Paul and Devin packing up to go I say goodbye to both as I grab my necessary supplies before heading to the showers.

A couple minutes into my shower I hear the metal door to the locker room open, but I brush it off as someone having forgot something. I continue to wash and just stand there, letting the water beat down on me. And nearly jumping right out of my skin at the feel of arms wrapping around my waist. I quickly whirl around in shock before relaxing at Kyle's smile.

He kisses my neck before letting me go and reaching in front of me to steal some of my body wash. To my disappoint nothing else occurs other than Kyle's body occasionally touching mine as he washes behind me. When we're finally finished and as I reach to turn the water off Kyle's hand covers mine, halting my movements.

I remove my hand and he follows and instead lets his hands travel down my toned stomach, fingernails scratching lightly.

"You're so fit," he comments.

"I'm so tired," I say, but push into his touch anyway.

"Good, that was my initial goal."

"You asshole. Is it not enough to have tired me out in other ways?"

"Nope. I like seeing you like this during practice, sweaty and _god_ watching the way your ass jiggled as you ran those laps today…"

"Stahp it," I say jokingly.

"And how fired up you got earlier, it got me so fucking hard. Did you know that?"

"No," I say and Kyle hugs me close to his body and I'm able to feel how hard he is against me.

"Can you feel it now? How gone I am for you?"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" Kyle laughs. "I want-"

"What do you want?" I interrupt, locking my fingers with his.

"Fuck me."

"Are you asking me?"

"Just do it already," Kyle says kissing me sloppily in the crook of my neck causing a shiver to run down my spine. He laughs and the vibrations go straight to my cock.

Turning all the way around to face Kyle I notice a small bottle of lube on beside us on the divider and smirk. Kyle is one kinky fucker, I bet he planned this whole thing out. I grab the bottle and trade places with Kyle and he pushes his hands against the wall, and looks over his shoulder at me as I kneel to the tile floor.

Pouring the lube onto my fingers liberally I push one inside of Kyle's tight heat, pumping steadily to loosen him up. I continue and after a minute of Kyle adjusting to my finger I add a second one and begin to scissor them together, my other hand placed onto the arch of Kyle's back.

I twist my fingers and begin to thrust harder inside of Kyle who finally moans out with a gasp. With a grin I decide to take no mercy in attempt to hear that amazing sound once again. I thrust my fingers faster and use my thumb to tease his rim and Kyle cries out again, moan after moan spilling from his plump lips. I look up and notice Kyle's face buried against the wall as water (I'm pretty sure has turned cold by now) showers down on his frame.

I twist my fingers and finally shove my thumb inside watching the way Kyle arches his back with a loud moan before pulling away, trailing kisses up his back as I stand. And realization hits.

"I don't have a condom."

"Just do it," Kyle whines needily. "I'm clean." Without further restraint I lube myself up before guiding myself towards Kyle's clenching pink hole and rubbing against him.

"Ugh, stop teasing," Kyle groans, but there's laughter hidden behind it.

"Don't tell me what to do," I whisper before pushing in roughly. Kyle moans out loudly and I grip his hips in my palms to keep him still.

"It's been too long. Too fucking long since I've had you inside."

"Yeah, how does it feel?" I ask as I pull myself until only my tip is inside before thrusting back in harshly, Kyle shaking underneath me from the force of it.

"Amazing," Kyle sighs out.

I continue my brutal pace on Kyle watching him let go against me. I feel Kyle tighten unbearably around me, signaling that he's close so in response I slow my thrusts and focus more on the force of each one as I take Kyle into my hands and begin to get him off. Kyle practically keens as he meets my thrust.

Just as I feel that Kyle is about to release I remove my hand from around him, taking to wrapping my arm around his neck, pushing myself deep inside of him as his body molds against mine. Wanting him to feel every inch of me. As Kyle releases I revel in the tightness around me as I release deeply within him.

As we fall from our highs the only sound that registers in my ears is the sound of our breathing and my heartbeat as I feel my own release spill from Kyle's clenching hole. I pull out and Kyle tries to steady himself as he grabs the divider with one hand and holds his hand against the wall with the other.

"Fuck," Is all Kyle says as I grab my soap, pouring some in my hand to clean Kyle out after the last of my come spills out only to be washed away down the drain. Kyle tenses and I rub circles on his back to get him to relax as I clean his gaping hole. When I'm done I clean myself before grabbing my shower supplies and getting out Kyle shutting the water off and following behind me.

"I really hope the janitor didn't happen to walk in during our whole fiasco," I say to which Kyle just laughs before going over to where he placed his bag and bringing it next to mine as we change into clean clothes. After we're dressed and I've placed my stuff into my duffle to take home do I notice a black band hanging out of Kyle's bag.

At my curious look Kyle just gives me an innocent smile before stuffing the straps out of my view before leading us out of the locker room. Kyle spins a set of keys around his fingers that I assume belong to Coach Mick's office as we walk to the student parking lot.

"Wait," I say suddenly as Kyle stands next to my open door in preparation to close it, "What about the other teams that you're on?" I expect Kyle to look at me as if I've grown four heads at my outburst, but he doesn't, he just smiles before answering.

"I have those too, I just felt like I needed the extra practice plus Coach didn't mind me wanting helping out until Coach Andrew gets back. I nod, our assistant coach who is a twenty something guy straight out of college who we consider one of the guys is still out of town for his mother's third wedding.

"Well, I'll see you," I say and Kyle hesitates before deciding to kiss me softly on my lips. He pulls away before whispering something I just couldn't decline despite feeling the pain from practice seeping into my body.

**...**

* * *

I sigh pleasantly as Kyle finally releases my ankles from their binds and rub his smooth fingers against each one. When I'm sure that the soreness has subsided I let Kyle mush our lips together as we fall on top of each other on my bed.

We stay like that for a moment just kissing before Kyle states that sitting in our filth has become beyond unbearable at this point and sits up. I laugh at this, watching Kyle slip on a pair of black joggers phone in hand as he goes to my bathroom.

* * *

Sitting my phone on the granite counter top I stare at my wild reflection after another round of amazing sex with Stan. I can't believe I let him take me earlier. I was so caught up and the urge to have him inside me was so strong.

I hadn't felt this way in years...and the way he felt inside of me. I touch my stomach as I allow myself to remember the ache I felt years ago.

I remember staying up for nights on end wishing I had him inside me only to remember that everything was ruined. Or the times I thought it was all a dream and that Stan would come over to my house and I'll have him by my side again. Where he belongs. But it wasn't and it took Cartman every single time to remind me that it was real and Stan didn't want to see my fucking face.

I stop my thoughts right there, not wanting to get too carried away, needing to put the wall I built all those years ago to keep me from nearing a complete mental breakdown. I open the large clean mirror and reach in to get my toothbrush and as I'm brushing my teeth I find myself halting as I spot the half full pill bottle again.

I open the bottle and what I first thought was just a bottle of pills turn out to be much more as I remove a tiny note within. I could do it. I could _finally_ do what I always said I would, what I planned to do. I have the power to ruin him, once and for _all_. All I have to do is pick up my phone and snap a few pics of the bottle and send it to a few people who I know won't rat me out. I can and I do.

But even as my finger hovers over the send button I can't bring myself to actually do it. Something's stopping me whether it's the memory of who Stan used to be or the fact that despite everything he still is that guy. My super best friend. I delete the message and slam my phone on the counter, replacing the tiny note inside of the bottle and placing it gently back in its spot before continuing to brush my teeth.

Walking back out of the bathroom I spot Stan seated on the bed flickering through his phone dressed in a pair of his navy joggers and a white v-neck, playing _Déjà vu _by Twenty88 from his speakers. He smiles when he notices me before holding up my boxer shorts on one finger.

"Why are you spinning my boxers around your finger?" I ask this stupid weirdo.

"Don't you mean my boxers?" I freeze.

"What?"

"Don't clam up now Kyle. You know, when you and your cronies raided my gym locker two years ago I didn't think you'd keep my underwear." For the first time in a long time I actually feel embarrassed as Stan burst into laughter as he tosses his (_my_) underwear across the room before I tackle him onto his back.

"Shut up Stan," I say begrudgingly as I login to my Instagram.

Stan kisses my cheek wetly and I groan in mock-disgust, "It's okay Ky, I won't judge you. I didn't realize you missed me that much." I don't say anything to that. If only he knew…

Instead I stand up and motion for Stan to follow and pose for a picture. With a surprised smile Stan agrees and I stand behind him as he poses and right before snapping the picture I pull Stan's shirt up showing his lean body and abs, suppressing the urge to run my fingers along the tattoo on his ribs with word _Strength_ wrapped around a intricate feather.

Stan just smirks before taking a inconspicuous pic of me. This will change everything, but with one sincere look of approval from Stan we both post our picture to Instagram. I post mine with words: Guess who? Along with the side eye emoji before chucking my phone onto the bed as it begins to erupt with notifications. Stan looks down at his phone before laying it down as well.

And as we relax on his bed with company of Sparky and Rover while watching TV I can't help, but wish that I wasn't such a coward. Even as I look at Stan I remember the pain that he caused me and it still admittedly hurts even after all these years. I wonder if it'll ever go away...maybe not.

* * *

"You can't be serious? You've really met Caitlyn Jenner before?"

"Met? Please we still meet up for tea every Wednesday and Sunday." Blake laughs loudly at this and I smile as dimples make their appearance in his cheeks.

Blake hugs me closer to him as we sit on my sofa watching the _Walking Dead_ and I know I'm going to be pissed later that I missed a lot from lack of attention, but as of right now I couldn't really give a shit.

It's been more than a month since our 'date' and things have only gotten better between us. There's a comfortableness I feel around Blake I can't decipher when I'm around him and it urges me to keep him by my side.

Arousal stirs in my stomach as Blake nudges my ear with his nose before littering kisses down my neck. We've been intimate and any doubts that I've had before that he was straight completely vanished from my mind the moment he took me into his mouth.

Gosh, the memory of us together does nothing to stop me from leaning closer into his touch and kisses. Gratefully a loud shrill sounds from the kitchen and I stand up with a grin.

"That should be our honey garlic salmon. I'll be back."

"Don't take too long," Blake replies, toying with my fingers before letting me go.

"I won't, but until then don't you dare touch," I say, referring to the large bulge in his pants.

I saunter off to the kitchen, knowing that Blake's eyes are trained directly on my ass and remove our dinner from the oven, loving the delicious smell that encases the room. It looks fantastic and I'm super impressed by the way it turned out. In the past I couldn't even boil a pot of water and now I'm making dinner for me and my boyfriend.

How far I have come or as my students say 'I've glowed up'. I slide a couple of salmons onto two plates and even garnish it with a few corkscrew shrimp and parsley. Grabbing both plates in hand I head down the hall back toward the living room.

"Dinner is ready-" I stop in my tracks as I notice Blake standing in the middle of the room, TV and his favorite wine forgotten as he chats on the phone.

"-That is not what I'm saying at all," He says, his voice laced with irritation and I raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "What I'm saying is that I need more time. Look," Blake begins to pace and I quickly hide behind the living room's archway completely out of sight. As a moment passes I dare to look and listen in to what he is saying.

"I know we had a deal...just I have to go now. Alright, give our fellow brothers my respect. Bye Randy."

My eyebrows are practically connected to my hairline at this point. Randy? Who the fuck is Randy? The only Randy I know is that forsaken PC asshole father of the Marsh family.

Blake ends his call with 'Randy' and I clear my throat as I walk into the room with the biggest smile. He smiles back, "This food looks splendid Herbie."

"Well, _I_ did make it."

"Indeed you did. Seems as if everything you touch is perfect."

"No, not everything. But I try," I say handing Blake his plate and sitting down on the sofa. Blake follows and we eat in silence with Blake occasionally complementing me on my cooking skills or asking me about the _walking dead_ characters.

Although, my mind is still swirling, debating on whether or not I should ask Blake about Randy, or should keep quiet. As I take a sip of my glass filled with _sweet _red wine I decide to keep this little tid bit of info to myself bidding for the right time.


	32. Laughter, Tears, and Vodka Bottles

Laughter, Tears, and Vodka Bottles Pt. 1

* * *

"Will everyone please make a single file line next to the bus while I call roll, that would be nice!" Kyle yells out at all of the senior class and although, his words sound sweet the glance he gives his cronies who then in turn look at us with threatening looks get the job done. Somehow I find myself leaned against the clean and sleek bus right next to Reggie and we both turn up our nose at the sight of each other. Luckily, Kenny's right behind and can easily make me forget that this fuck nut is even here.

Kyle throws up his thumb after taking roll and hands over the brown clipboard to show our chaperones for this trip. Lord knows we truly need one considering all the fights that _might _breakout. It's stupid, yeah. But if someone constantly talked crap about you behind your back and you never got the chance to meet up...then obviously you're going to want to smash their face(s) in.

I take a long mental sigh as I listen to whatever Kenny is talking about, grateful that for once in my lifetime I don't have any fucking drama. When Kenny says something about being back I try to seek Kyle out and I spot him chatting with David whose arm is surprisingly draped over Henrietta's shoulders. I immediately turn away once Henrietta meets my eye and I can practically _feel _her rolling her eyes. No one even thinks I even associate with Henrietta or none of the goths for that matter, but it's not like I'm hiding and honestly it's been about a week since I hung out with them at their usual diner.

I grimace at the thought of how Kyle would react if he knew, he'd think I was on the verge of becoming Raven again despite how untrue that is. The reason I'm avoiding Henri is because she said some things that I just didn't like and we had a big dispute over it. Basically I told her I was seeing Kyle again and she immediately started berating me as if I'm some child. I'm not and she just doesn't understand that things are back to the way they used to be, better even. Moments later Kenny comes back and he claps me on the shoulder.

"Can't wait to get this show on the roll," I stretch and suppress a smirk as I watch Kenny's eyes trace my body. As I drop my arms he quickly averts his eyes to my face.

"Yeah, me too. I wonder what all we're gonna do this weekend."

"Probably visit a few boring history museums. Blurgh."

Kenny laughs, "Well at least we're roomies."

I nod, "How long do you think it'll take until we are allowed on the bus, It's freezing."

"Looks like it'll be a few more seconds," Kenny says looking beside us. I follow his line of vision and notice Coach Candice and Coach Mick following two bulky guys to the front of each bus. "You can chill, your nuts are safe from developing frostbite."

"That'd just be painful. How would I ever get frost bite off my balls?"

"Well, there are a more than a few warm and willing mouths that would do the trick. Mine's included of course," Kenny whispers that last part and my cheeks feel on fire at this point as I avoid eye contact with Kenny who just continues to stare at me with a impish smile. "You wanna sit with me on the inside?" Kenny asks as though he doesn't notice that my cheeks are blushing horribly and it's not because of the cold December weather.

I open mouth to reply, but someone interrupts, "Actually, everyone is set to sit with their partner," Kyle says, but he barely spares Kenny a look before moving along the line. I stare as he leaves, this weekend may not be so boring after all.

* * *

I roll my eyes so hard that they almost get stuck mid-roll at Kyle as he bounds back to front of the line to do whatever 'duties' he has as student body president or whatever. Stan gives me an apologetic look before grabbing my wrist and leading us forward on to the bus. Luckily as we climb the stairs of the first charter bus I notice that Kyle hadn't picked out his and Stan's seat yet, so I don't object as Stan pulls me towards the seats in the middle of the bus.

He slides into a seat and I slide into the seat in front of him my wrist hanging limply in Stan's loose grip over my seat as we watch everyone else pile onto the enormous bus. Although, I don't fucking like Kyle right now, and even though he is being a right twat I gotta admit that I'm excited about this weekend.

I absentmindedly tap my fingers against the smooth red and black leather of my seat that matches the interior of the bus staring out the window at nothing in particular before feeling someone's arm wrap around my neck from behind.

"Un-arm me," I screech dramatically. Looking down I notice the white coat covered arm locked around my neck and instantly know who it is. The skinny arm lets me go and I turn around to face a smiling Butters decked out in his white pea coat and matching white jeans and I let him slide past me to the seat by the window.

"Aren't you excited Ken?" Butters asks with a loopy smile on his boyish face. I have to suppress a giant smile from breaking across my face as I look at Butters. He's adorable without even trying and I just...ugh.

I clear my throat loudly trying to in turn clear my thoughts of how tight Butter's pants are around his hips. Fuck."Yeah, I think it's going to be cool."

"Cool, psh, dude it's gonna be lit. Absolutely awesome," Clyde says following his roomie Sandy as they sit in the seats across from Stan.

"Yeah, I just can't stop smiling out of pure excitement for this trip," Craig comments as he follows Tweek and as they stop at the seats across from mine I notice how unexcited Craig actually looks.

"Cheer up, be a sport," Token says as he settles in his seat next to Jimmy in front of Craig.

"Fuck you. You're on the student body you should've convinced Kyle to get me out of this."

Token laughs at this, "Just relax, I promise to entertain you this entire trip if it makes you feel better."

"Now you just made me feel like a baby," Everyone seems to laugh at this despite not knowing why Craig is upset in the first place. But as everyone goes to talk about something else I take one look at Tweek and notice the permanent frown set on his face as he tries to join in on whatever Craig is talking about. And as it's been for weeks, he is promptly ignored.

I can tell it's annoying the living daylights out of Tweek but what does he expect? He was the one who pushed Craig away and from what Craig said wanted things to 'ease up'. I honestly feel bad for him considering that if Craig doesn't like you or makes it his mission to pretend you don't exist, he completely does just that.

Eventually Cartman comes barreling down the aisle with Gary Harrison behind him and instantly Tweek jumps up and follows Gary towards the back of the bus. Everyone is quiet as we watch this play out.

"Don't get quiet on account of me assholes. Humph," Cartman says and everyone resumes talking or putting away their bags. Cartman plops down next to Craig and I notice how tightly his fist is clenched as well as his entire body...actually-"

"Can I help you Kenny?" Cartman bites out, "Geez, stop being such a perv, I know you only want me for my body."

"In your dreams call boy," I say in a fake posh voice and Cartman just snorts and opens his mouth to say something most likely in retort but he's interrupted by Kyle who finally bounds down the aisle and slips past Stan to his spot by the window. He drops his bag next to Stan and I try not to make it obvious that I was glaring at him the entire time as he looks up with a grin.

"Can we get this show on the road already?" Cartman complains. "God. And where the hell is the devil's spawn and his fluffy carebear?"

"They're going to meet us there," Kyle says with a slight smirk.

"What?!" Craig shouts, "So I didn't have to ride the bus with all you losers?"

"The only loser is you, Craig!" Coach Mick shouts from the front of the bus and cackles as Craig stands and promptly flips him off.

"Damien had to work and couldn't take off to ride the bus with us," Kyle says once Craig turns to him in question, his pink lips pursed.

A loud cackle erupts from Cartman, "Damien is probably sitting on his posh sofa right now smoking a blunt and laughing at the thought of us stupid fuckers who got up near the ass crack of dawn."

"Kyle?" Clyde asks and Butters pulls on my parka sleeve with quiet laughter.

"Yeah?"

"Why am I stuck on a bus full of guys?" Everyone bursts into laughter.

"Because it's easier for the girls to be on another bus," Kyle answers anyway.

"Yeah, what's the problem Clyde you're around guys all the time."

"That's the problem. It's like I see dick on the regular."

"I didn't know you were so attentive Clyde," Kyle says and more laughter erupts.

"Dickmatized," Craig jokes causing Clyde to turn blush bright red all the way to the tips of his ears as everyone continues to laugh loudly.

"Am not!"

"A'right, alright," Coach says through laughter, "Calm down everyone," Everyone stops laughing and settle back in their seats. "It's not Donovan's fault that he likes dick." Boisterous laughter starts right back up at that and Butters' buries his face in my neck in laughter as the bus begins to pull out of the school parking lot. This is going to be one hell of an hour and a half hour ride.

**(*)**

We're forty minutes in and everyone has finally calmed down and are sleeping, listening to music or having their own group discussions. I glance at Craig and he winks at me as he continues to chat with Jimmy and Token about something. Butters is watching _The Wedding Singer_ that's playing from the screen hanging from the ceiling in front of us. I play with his thin fingers as I listen in to Cartman, Stan, and Kyle talk about random shit.

Kyle and Stan always used to be far too comfortable with each other and considering how close knit our group actually is, that's saying something. Now that the dynamic duo are back together after all these years they're all over each other.

Kyle pushes his fingers through Stan's fringe only for Stan to fix it back as he continues to talk to Cartman. When Kyle notices my stare his lips curve in a small smirk before gripping the dark strands of Stan's hair in his hand hard, causing Stan to groan lowly. I give out a yawn that isn't so faked and turn around in my seat, reaching down for my bag and taking out my earplugs and plugging them into my phone and ears before closing my eyes. A few seconds later I feel Butters body nudge mine repeatedly and he only stops until I smile with my eyes still closed.

* * *

"Here we are, Avon, Colorado," Coach announces as we exit the sleek bus with our bags. We all admire the view of the resort we're staying in for the duration of our trip and meet the girls inside.

"Welcome to the _Westin Riverfront_!" I hear the short, curvy brunette female receptionist greet before singling her attention on Coach Mick and Candice. Some of us talk and walk aimlessly around the lobby, but I choose to sit on a sofa and push my earplugs in.

As I'm scrolling a few posts on tumblr, my phone vibrates in my hand and I quickly read the new message sent to me. My eyes skim the text and I look up at the offending person who is sitting right across from me. I have half the mind to actually chuck my phone at the glass window in front of me. I really want to, but I don't and instead move my fingers to form a reply.

_From Tweek:_

_Why are you ignoring me?_

Is he serious? I look up and he looks around as if he doesn't notice that I'm right in front of him. As if we were Serena and Tripp. I shake my head at this thought, reminding myself that I need to stop watching netflix with Ruby.

_Me: Idk because you asked me too?_

_Tweek: No, I didn't._

_Me: Ur right u specifically asked me to give u space. U told me that the way we were wasn't ok. I'm just doing what u wanted. _

_Tweek: ...Don't be like that. U knw that I still want to be around u._

_Me: Doesn't feel like it. I rlly don't want to talk to u._

_Tweek: Why?_

_Me: Because I said so. _

_Tweek: Craig..._

I look up and briefly glare at Tweek but he still doesn't look my way and proceeds to talk to Gary. I grit my teeth. He's such a lying bag of potatoes. This has been going on for weeks. He acts as if I am being the worst, but did he somehow forget how he ignored me for a couple weeks after Stan's birthday? I called him about a thousand times and he never answered and in the hallways he would ignore me to do exactly what he's doing now. Talking to Gary.

I have nothing against the guy I just fucking hate seeing them together to be honest. I hate seeing how comfortable Tweek is around him and how he _lets_ him cuddle him and sit on his lap. It hurts to know that he wants him close, but wants me to back off, wants me to stop caring so much for him. And I am, but everytime I try he acts like this. A hand touches my cheek and I turn around and see Kyle as he sits on the edge of the sofa.

"What's up?" I ask, pulling my earplugs out.

"Nothing, just wanted to talk to you," I raise my dark eyebrows, my tongue darting out to lick the black stud in my lip in interest.

Kyle grins, pushing my shoulder gently, "Not about that, but...maybe later. I wanted to see if you were okay."

I look at Kyle in question and watch his green eyes flit quickly to Tweek back to me. Does everyone know that Tweek and I aren't talking to each other? I just sigh, "How'd you figure?"

"Dude, you're were practically radiating annoyance and c'mon I'm not too wrapped up in my own shit not to notice that you guys barely acknowledge each other." I just stare at Kyle blankly, getting a strong sense of dèjà vu. Especially when Stan sits next to me and greets Kyle and I with one of his easy charming smiles before talking to Fosse and Sandy.

"I think you guys should talk this out." Yeah, this is very familiar.

"You guys were-are so close-" Kyle goes on to say and I have the strangest craving for a cup of tea and a pair of dark tinted sunglasses even though we're sitting in the lobby of our hotel. "I mean it's obvious that you guys-"

"That we what?" And although, I'm the one being told that I'm being stubborn and that I should talk to Tweek because of point A and B I feel oddly smug. Even more at how uncharacteristically nervous Kyle looks right now.

"You guys like each other," He settles for, but I refuse to let him off that easy.

"Of course we like each other, we're friends."

"Don't do this."

"What? What do you mean Kyle?"

"Fine. You guys act as if you're a couple."

I smile at Kyle, but it probably comes out more like a grimace as I feel my heart kick in freaking overdrive at his words. A couple?

"Alright kids, here are your room keys," Both Coaches hand Wendy and Kyle keys to hand out, so that means two people in a group has a key card.

Once we all have our keys everyone hurries to see our rooms, some of us squeezing into the elevators and some risk taking the stairs. I hand Cartman our card and watch about twenty people squeeze into two elevators as I stand in the back. The last batch to go is smaller with just Token, Clyde, Jimmy, and Red who insist I get in, but I politely refuse taking to walking around the hotel to clear my mind for a moment.

What Kyle said couldn't have been farther from the truth, right? Tweek and I never acted like a couple, I never even treated him that way. I like him, yes. I've even admitted to myself that I may have feelings for him, but in no way have I made it _that_ obvious.

Maybe it's because I wanted to be the one to fuck him, I wanted to be the one he gave himself to, but that was it. Or maybe because I'm overprotective, but I'm like that with everyone. This is so frustrating! I run my hands through my styled hair only to fix it a moment later. Just. Breathe. Just. Breathe.

I think back to how I treated Tweek and I still don't see it. I finally stop my pacing down a hallway and notice another set of elevators, but as I begin making my way further down the hall I notice Tweek stopped in front of me. He looks around multiple times completely ignoring the fact that I'm standing down the opposite hallway from him.

With a fucking long ass sigh I continue towards the elevator and press the button multiple times (yeah, I know it's not going to make it go any faster) hoping I don't cause it to malfunction. Seconds later I can feel his presence next to me as we wait. The elevator finally comes and I enter first and before I can try to do something childish like press the 'close doors' button he slides right behind. As I press the number for the boys floor I come to one realization.

I am Serena.

I lick my lip ring, hoping nothing goes down in this elevator...I would usually be up for anything because hello, I'm motherfucking Craig Tucker, but right now I don't even want to be in the same elevator as Tweek. I watch the numbers go up, the tension so thick that I can cut it with a butcher knife. When the elevator finally pings I quickly exit and hurry to our shared group suite, knocking loudly on the door.

"What the-" I quickly move past Cartman into our suite, taking in its large size. I let my fingers touch the surface of the granite island in the kitchen. "What crawled up your ass?" Cartman asks he goes back to do whatever he was doing before I knocked on the door which is watching TV.

Just to be a pest and because I need to get it out in the open, "I know what's not going to." At this Cartman gives me a funny look and mutters, "Sofucking-gay" under his breath. Gary looks amused as he sits on a sofa adjacent to Cartman, his leg folded on top of the other like the posh kid he is and then there's Tweek who just stares at me with a look that screams that he's plotting something cruel against me.

I smile. Walking closely past him, making sure he feels the smugness radiating off of me as I walk into one of the bedrooms, claiming it as mine.

* * *

As the door to the room Craig just went into slams shut another one follows. Damn, I don't know what's going on, but all I know is that this is going to be an _interesting_ trip. It's oddly quiet for a moment with only the sound of the TV as background noise and I decide to kick my sock covered feet up on the coffee table sighing peacefully as Gary drops down next to me.

We sit close together in the middle of the sofa and watch housewives of Cherry Hills Colorado and talk about how crazy we think most of these people are-husbands included when I finally get the nerve to spit out what's been bothering me for weeks now.

"Gary," I start, shivering slightly at the constant feel of Gary rubbing up and down my thigh that's smushed against his.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just touching you, can I not touch what I've already claimed so many times?"

I smirk, he's such a shit head, but with a set and _firm _goal in mind I smooth my face over as I continue, "No, I mean what is this?" I motion between the two of us, "I know we've been fucking each other for weeks now, but I still think all of this is weird. What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," Is all Gary says and doesn't stop his movements against my thigh.

"Look," I say roughly, "Can you just be fucking honest and stop being so damn cryptic all the time?"

"I'm sorry. Do you want the truth?" Gary asks slowly.

Do I? Considering what we have now do I want to question it and have the illusion of us being good together-feeling good ruined? I clear my throat and suppress the blush that threatens to overwhelm my face as Gary moves his hips closer to mine and rests his head on the palm of his other hand, staring at me, "Yes."

Gary removes his hand and I feel like I can breathe properly again, "I like what we have. You're special to me, seeing as how I truly like being with you. But to answer your question, no, I don't have a label for what we are and how I feel about you, I just know that I want you around, always." I stare Gary in the eyes wanting to see if he actually means what he says and a shudder runs through my body at the genuineness in his eyes.

"Okay," I find myself saying after a moment, "Just know that I don't really trust anyone, except for my small group of friends and somehow you've wormed your way into those ranks."

"So, you only think of me as your friend?"

"No, you're more than that...I think. Just-what I am trying to say is do not fuck me over. Please," I add and I hate it because I feel so vulnerable right now, but I also feel like it's okay with Gary, we've had sex for fucksake. Gary leans forward and kisses me long and soft before pulling away.

"Never," He whispers and it makes me even wonder why I put up with this insane, and overly confident hot preppy boy, but as he takes he takes to soothingly rubbing my thigh again I'm reminded why.

* * *

"So…" I start as I flop on my bed purposefully dragging the word out as I relax on top of the amazingly comfortable bed. Butters does the exact same on the opposite bed and I laugh at his curled up frame until he throws a white soft pillow towards me that I quickly catch between my two palms.

He stares at me in curiosity before giving the middle finger and jumping on my bed next to me. I grab his middle finger and give it one hard kiss that causes him to erupt into more giggles.

"So?" Butters asks, urging me to continue what I was going to say.

"Is this going be one of those trips where we all have to meet up and have dinner?"

"I don't know, why don't we ask Kyle," Butters pats my shoulder before leaping off of my bed and walking through the open door.

I sit up and run my hands through my hair before regretfully standing and following. Unsurprisingly as I walk through the living room and large kitchen to Stan and Kyle's room I'm not surprised to see them both sprawled on their bed.

Or rather Stan who's head is smashed into a large pillow and Kyle who is yelling at him to take his boots off of the white duvet and Butters who is leaned against the doorframe watching the entire exchange.

When Stan does nothing, but snuggle more into the bed Kyle heaves a heavy sigh before looking at us with fake weariness causing everyone to laugh, but I bite my cheek to suppress the smile that wants to creep along my lips. As amusing as this all _is_…

"What are the plans for this weekend Kyle?" Butters asks sitting on the bed beside Stan's most likely half-awake body.

Kyle smiles excitedly, "To do whatever," I raise my eyebrows at that honestly curious, "Wendy and I set up a couple activities to do, but after that...we can all just hang out here. We have a private tour to go sightseeing around Avon, and skiing lessons plus we also have access to the hotel's spa." Butter looks at me with a similar excited look.

"Isn't this awesome Ken?"

"It's cool," I say and Kyle's smile drops.

"I know!" Butters goes on to say, but Kyle's eyes are locked with mine, "Kyle thought of everything."

"Yeah, how were you able to convince Victoria to agree to this 'school trip'?" I ask really curious, but it comes out a bit rough.

"Well, I planned it earlier this year and explained to Principal Victoria that this would be an educational trip and could be very fundamental to the senior class seeing as we're bound to graduate soon and we could gain real-world knowledge by stepping outside of South Park," Kyle says like the intelligent fucker he is.

"Victoria would've probably agreed if you said we were going to bust Trent Boyett outta prison."

"She would say something like how educational it would be to get a taste of prison life. And how fun it could be to learn how to dodge a shank," Stan says and we all laugh at that because it's most likely true, only when I meet Kyle's eyes again does my smile drop.

"Are we going to meet up with everyone tonight?" Butters asks, unlacing Stan's shoes and tying them together.

"Yeah, we can eat anytime we want, but it would be best if we all ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together." Butters nods at this before yawning as he finishes his work on Stan's laces.

"You should get some rest Butters we have more than a few hours until dinner," Kyle says rubbing Butters back and Butters nods and stands up. I give Butters a look I hope says that I'll be back soon as he walks past me, he squeezes my bicep gently before continuing out of the doorway.

Looking back at the two occupants of the room Stan is now sat up undoing his bootlaces and knocking them on the floor with a thunk and Kyle just looks done with my shit. It's quiet and awkward, which is new.

I've never felt this way around Stan and Kyle or any of my friends for that matter. Kyle's always been hard to figure out, the complete opposite of Stan in the emotional department who next to Pip and Butters wears his heart on his sleeve. But even now I can't tell what even he is thinking.

"Are you okay?" Stan asks quietly, his attention focused solely on me. I just nod and Stan frowns at this.

"Ken, come here," He says motioning me forward and I can see Kyle visibly tense at this.

"No, actually I think I'm gonna go take a nap too. I didn't get much sleep on the bus." Stan looks a bit crestfallen at my response, but I don't stay long to dwell on it before heading back to my room with Butters.

As I walk inside I notice Butters curled up underneath the duvet and I decide to close the door as quietly as I can without waking him. I sit on the edge of my bed before lying back with a long sigh. I hate being mad at Kyle, I hate feeling this way about one of my best friends, but not as much as I dislike the fact that Kyle has somehow made up with Stan only to fuck everything up again.

There was a time in my life where I believed that those two actually loved each other and not just as super best friends. Kyle would literally do anything for Stan and vice-versa. I doubt Kyle even knew (or anybody) exactly why Stan and Wendy almost always broke up after Stan and Kyle fell out. I only know from the cryptic things Stan would spill whenever he was drunk, and I'm not dense enough to not be able to put two and two together. But there is one instance that I can't forget, and till this day I'm still lost as to what Wendy and Stan were screaming at each other about.

* * *

**….**

It was the beginning of last summer and Token was able to convince his parents to let him host a huge summer blowout and Stan got absolutely pissed. It didn't bother me much because almost everyone was drunk or high or both, but Stan was completely gone, the life of the party that night too.

I think I vaguely remember us jumping off of the roof and into the pool, it was awesome and it was like we didn't see an end in sight. It was nights like those where we all felt invisible, indestructible as if we could live forever...I loved that feeling despite knowing that things don't work that way and that if I jumped off of Cartman's hummer that I could literally die with my face painted all over the pavement.

We were chugging shots, singing every song horribly and dancing even worst, but I only lost track of Stan mid-make out with Red. She pushed me away gently before spilling her guts in the nearby trashcan and I held her hair back, whispering nonsensical things that made her laugh and throw up even more.

Once Red was done I led her outside to Bebe who was the designated driver for most people that night and overheard her telling someone to go get Wendy. I made sure Red got inside the car before heading back inside the party looking for Stan or any sight of Wendy. I couldn't spot neither brunette on the bottom level or outside so I climbed the stairs in search of an open door.

As I looked around I noticed that no one was really up here and it figures seeing as Token is smart enough to lock all his shit up to prevent anyone from stealing, breaking his stuff or just simply invading his privacy, but then suddenly as I walked down the hallway closer to Token's room I could hear voices.

The voices grew louder until I stopped outside of the doorway to Token's room. As I stood there I was able to figure out that it was Wendy and Stan having a loud drunken argument with door wide open, I moved closer just out their sight to see what was going on.

"Just tell me the truth Stan!" Wendy screamed. Tears were pouring down her face, but she still looked immaculate as always. Even with an almost empty bottle of grey goose in her grip. I watched as she paused to take a swing from the bottle as tears continued to pour from her eyes.

"What do you want me to say!" Stan screamed back.

"I want y-you to t-tell me what you were doing w-with her. Are you fucking her Stan?" I never ever seen Wendy so tore up. "I-I want-" Wendy was cut off by a choking scream as she wiped her eyes with the side her perfectly manicured index finger, her grip visibly tightened on the vodka bottle.

"I already told you that I'm n-not! Where is this e-even coming from Wendy?"

"April and Mellie saw you with her after s-school. Why are you hanging out with her?"

"Why not shez's my friend, I can hang out w-with whoever I want," Stan slurred out.

Wendy laughed brokenly, "That's not it! I fo-found your messagez you fucker!"

"What?"

Wendy laughed again, but you can clearly hear the thickness of tears in the sound. Somehow in her drunk induced state Wendy was able to pull her silver phone out of her pocket. "I sent it all to my phone! '_Y-yesterday was fun a-are we still meeting up today?_' June 26, last week!'"

"Wendy-"

"Oh, but it getz better. Just three days ago, '_You n-need to tell 'er_.'

Then you said '_Henri, I can't y-you know that!_' What was it Stan? What do you need to tell me!" Wendy sniffled loudly before continuing.

'_This is the last time I swear_.'

'_You can't keep doing this. You-you can't keep falling apart like this. I know you still have those pills and as much as I hate to tell you what to do...you need to stop taking 'em._'

'_Please, not you!_'

'_Stan, you don't need them to stop thinking about what happened._'

'_No._'

'_T-then stop it. What if I don't make it there in time next time? What if you lose the strength to even call me, what if you over_-'" Stan abruptly grabbed Wendy's phone and threw it on the beige sectional sofa.

"Fucking stop Wendy! Just stop it!" To this Wendy threw the large vodka bottle against the crisp white wall beside her and as she moved to grab something else Stan catches her wrists, she struggled before eventually stopping out of exhaustion.

Wendy's breaths were coming out heavily and Stan finally dropped her wrists in his grip to try to pull her to his chest, but he stopped as she began to beat against his chest with her fists.

"Tell me," She said through a sob. "What is she talking about? What p-pills? So many questions and you just," Wendy threw her hands up in defeat. "You won't let me in. Ever since Kyle I can't get through to you anymore. It's like we're on different scales or sides of the Earth. I can see why you want her, she's gorgeous always have been, and she's something new to you while I'm just...cooked. Burnt even."

"I want you Wendy. I do. I'm j-just-I'm sorry. I don't know why I keep hurting you." At this point the room was reduced to sniffles as Wendy lets Stan hold her against him.

"Do you love me Stan?" Wendy asked, looking up at him.

Stan stared at her for a moment and I saw it in his body and the way he looks at her. It's so different from how it used to be, so...defeated. "Yes, I love you Wendy," I heard him whisper and with that I walked away from the scene and downstairs.

I didn't even stop there I decided to sit outside for the rest of the night, away from the drunk and sweaty bodies inside and smoke a bag of pre-rolled blunts. Ten minutes later Wendy arrived outside and I heard Bebe give out a loud, "Finally!" as she helped her best friend inside the car before getting in herself and speeding off, the loud hum of her car slowly disappeared and leaving nothing, but silence behind in the dark night.

**…..**

* * *

I never even told Stan about that and I don't ever plan to because just seeing him like that and knowing he was having those kind of conversations with someone it hurt. It hurt knowing that it was happening, that he felt like he couldn't come to me or any of us about this, and that Kyle was the reason. Even after three years he still affected Stan this way.

Although, that night wasn't nowhere near how nuclear it was when things first hit the fan a few years ago. I promised myself that I wouldn't let that happen again to neither Kyle or Stan. It was hard on all of us, trying to figure out how to re-group, but it was worst on Stan and Kyle. It was like they had lost a part of themselves, and everyday it seemed as if it was happening all over again. Eventually Kyle stopped crying, but he turned cold and none of us knew how to fix it...and Stan lost that shining spark in his eyes.

He lost the hope, the optimism that we all craved for, the passion in his eyes whenever we were in a crazy situation where we were sure there was no out that kept him still holding on as he urged us to do the same. That was lost, and replaced by something far more unsure and I believed that I will never see it again. Until now. And I'm pretty sure if Kyle hurts Stan again, it'll break him and then nothing will ever be the same.


End file.
